Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – The Senior Team Pass along the Funnies and One Liners

Some one liners that have drifted into David’s email this week that he has passed along.. with some funnies on Life!

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

 Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…. Sally and David.