Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Splitting the Bill and Oil fires

Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies and her neighbour Marilyn who has donated her humour for our enjoyment followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

And Marilyn has also found some interesting definitions.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.

RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
A story you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have…similar to my character lines.

OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”
. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!!!

 My thanks to Debby and  Marilyn for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest Travel Column: Puerto Vallarta Part two

Now for a joke from Sally

Oil be there!

Decades ago, there was a huge fire in one of the oil fields in Texas. The boss of the field contacted Red Adair, but was told that he couldn’t do anything as he was booked up for weeks. But Red Adair gave the Boss the telephone number of his cousin, Green Adair, in Ireland. So the Boss phoned Green Adair, who said he and his team would be over on the next available boat.

A few days later Green Adair and his team drove their transit van off the boat and travelled without stopping to Texas. Arriving at the oilfield, the boss tells him that the best place to see the fire was up on top of a nearby ridge. So Green and his men pile back into the Transit and drive up to the edge of the ridge.

After a few minutes, the Transit slowly moves off the top of the hill, gathers tremendous speed, and plummets right into the centre of the fire. Green Adair and his men jump out, and start stamping on the fire and blowing at it furiously. After a couple of hours, the fire is out.

The Boss is delighted and goes to see Green Adair and his men. “That’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my life! Incredible!!!” says the Boss. He willingly and delightedly gives them a cheque for $5 million, and asks Green Adair what’s the first thing he’ll do with the money. “Get the feckin’ brakes fixed!!!” came the reply…

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.

61 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Splitting the Bill and Oil fires

  1. Brilliant! The log cabin tickled my funny bone, too, and Marilyn’s definitions were just too good to choose a favourite. I do love Irish humour, Sally, and that one’s smashing! Many thanks to all! xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. lots of good ones, so lots of laughs. thanks to all!

    I’m sure the Ikea log cabin came with 700 pages of instruction, and claimed you only need a screwdriver.

    I like that definition of a secret – but please don’t tell anyone…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 28th Feb – 6th March – Mel Torme, Puerto Vallarta, Vitamin B5, Aubergines, Texas, Poetry, Podcast, Book Reviews and Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I would be delighted to receive your feedback (by commenting, you agree to Wordpress collecting your name, email address and URL) Thanks Sally

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.