Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies and her neighbour Marilyn who has donated her humour for our enjoyment followed by some funnies from Sally.
D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.
My thanks to Debby and Marilyn for sharing these with us.
D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s latest Travel Column: Cruising – Part One
Now for some funnies from Sally….all about the birds…
The auction
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”
The dinner companion…….
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
“That will be $9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until, the two enter again.
“The usual?” asks the waitress.
“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad, says he man
“Same,” says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.
“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress… “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.
The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”
Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.
Beware what you wish for, indeed! Thanks for the cracking jokes, Sally and Debby!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Olga ♥
LikeLike
Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – March 28th – April 3rd 2022 – Oscars, Chart Hits 1991, Cruising, B12, Book reviews, Podcast, Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
liked the ostrich joke punchline. I guess be careful what you wish for!
LikeLike
Lol… it could have been so perfect.. thanks Jim..x
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Pingback: Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Car Expenses and The Ostrich - JamieAdStories
Thanks for sharing Jamie. x
LikeLike
Love these. Tech expert haha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankfully many families have one lol..xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your ostrich one, Sally.
Debby, the Moses downloading to his tablet from the cloud is sheer genius.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Viv… delighted you enjoyed.. hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very funny, Sally and Debby. Toni x
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks Toni ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amazing! Wonderful for re-telling too. Have a nice day, Sally and Debby! xx Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Michael and delighted you enjoyed.. have a great Wednesday hugsx
LikeLike
Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
LikeLike
Thanks Michael..hugsx
LikeLike
These were fabulous, ladies. I enjoyed them all, especially the parrot and the ostrich. Thanks for starting my day with laughter. Needed that. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great to hear William and hope the day follows in the same way… hugsxx
LikeLike
I loved the Moses tablet, too, and the ostrich one was absolutely brilliant! Many thanks to both of you. xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Happy to bring the smiles Trish ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wonderful thanks Alex.. just what we like to hear..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved these! Thank you, ladies!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Glad to hear Jill 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
pleasure Jill.. glad you enjoyed..hugs
LikeLike
Oh, my gosh! These were hilarious! The Costco meme was my favorite, and the two stories at the end cracked me up. Great job, Sally and Debby! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wonderful to hear thanks Yvette..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy to hear Yvette. Yes, great ones today if I do say so myself 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 2 people
Does a warranty come with the Costco shopping cart? 3 months or $1,500, whichever comes first.
LikeLiked by 3 people
at least when you plug it in it gives you back your money lol..xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol Pete 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah, Maids of Mirth you have done it again. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Wonderful thanks John.. glad you enjoyed..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear John 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Still chuckling…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great Dorothy..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the Moses meme and the man with the ostrich! 😀 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks Liz.. you have to be careful what you wish for xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Sally. Isn’t that the truth!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The moses meme cracked me up, Debby, and my tech guru happens to be eight. Lol. Loved the joke about the ostrich, Sally. Ha ha. Thanks for the laughs, ladies.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Glad to pass them along Diana.. and glad you have a tech guy during waking hours at least..♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol Diana, some great ones today ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
HA HA! The dinner companion is hilarious Sally. Thanks for the smiles. 🤗
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Balroop.. just goes to show you really must choose your words carefully… ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOLOL Sal, loved the ostrich and parrot stories, great morning laughs! As for the memes, my fav is Moses and the cloud! 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for passing the memes along Debby and yes Moses did make me smile, but I do think if he had a modern tablet we might have ended up with considerably more commandments since he could have brought them down digitally rather than only carry ten! hugsx♥
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
What fun! Always what is needed. 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great start to the day Marje ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you enjoyed thanks Marje..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the chuckles, ladies. I really needed some humor today as I struggle to catch up. The auction one caused the first laugh-out-loud of the day! Brilliant!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Lol Jan.I laughed aloud with you. Happy to bring the smiles 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those are hilarious. What a great start to my day.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Glad you enjoyed Jacqui 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great thanks Jacqui..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person