Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – #Life – I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now! by Diana Peach

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I am sure like me, there have been times when you have wondered what difference might have been made to your life, if your younger self had been gifted with the experience and knowledge you have accumulated over the years.

I invited several friends from the writing community to share their thoughts on this subject which I am sure you will enjoy as much as I did.

Today author Diana Wallace Peach shares her thoughts on the prompt and how low moments and the high points in our lives are all part of the journey.

I wish I knew then what I know now by Diana Peach

Diana in 1977

The invitation from Sally to share our reflections on “I wish I knew then what I know now” has delivered some wonderful and personal responses from the blogging community.

Most who’ve submitted have confessed to taking some time to reflect. That’s true for me too.

I tend to look at life as a journey, each experience a stepping stone to the next. The low moments—giant mistakes, costly ones, personal ones where my heart was shredded, ones where I left a wake of hurt—they’re part of that journey that also led me to the highlights. My best moments wouldn’t have happened if I’d turned off the path and taken a different route. All my decisions, thousands and thousands of them, large and small, good and bad, delivered me to where I am today. In hindsight, I wouldn’t want to change them.

But… there are some things I know now, that I wish I’d known then.

I was a depressed, moody teenager with poor self-esteem which led to poor boundaries. I wouldn’t want to change that for all the reasons above, but it was tough. During my formative years (as well as today) many women were raised to be pleasers and fixers and compliant baubles. I wish I’d understood that cultural pressure, expressed myself with more confidence, and demanded that others treat me like a valuable human being.

Change required growing up, growing into my skin, and not caring anymore about what other people thought. Those are some of the wonderful things about getting old.
What I know now is that having boundaries makes me less timid, and ultimately a kinder, more compassionate, and more present person.

Another thing I wish I’d known then is that my brother was going to die young, at the age of forty. I just assumed that we’d all live to be old and gray and that we’d have years ahead of us to enjoy each other’s company. Years when we weren’t so busy, busy, busy, where we’d see each other more than just at Christmas. Years to connect as life slowed down and time opened up. All those assumptions were snapped away in an instant without a chance to say goodbye.

What I know now is to gobble up every opportunity to love. Making time and putting our energy into the people we care about is essential, because at some point, those relationships will be gone, and there’s no way to get them back.

And, I must include a thought about writing, of course! I started writing later in life and was utterly clueless. Like many authors, I was determined to find a publisher and I did that, publishing my first 6 books through a small press. I wish I’d known in the beginning how frustrating I’d find the traditional route, and how much I love the immediacy and control of self-publishing. My career wallowed for 4 years before I made the switch, one I haven’t regretted.

That does it for me, Sally. Thanks so much for the opportunity to contemplate and share my thoughts!

©Diana Peach 2022

My thanks to Diana for her thought provoking response to the prompt and the reminder to gobble up every opportunity to love. I know she would love to hear from you.

 

About D.Wallace Peach

Best-selling author D. Wallace Peach started writing later in life after the kids were grown and a move left her with hours to fill. Years of working in business surrendered to a full-time indulgence in the imaginative world of books, and when she started writing, she was instantly hooked. Diana lives in a log cabin amongst the tall evergreens and emerald moss of Oregon’s rainforest with her husband, two dogs, two owls, a horde of bats, and the occasional family of coyotes.

For book descriptions, excerpts, maps, and behind the scenes info, please visit:
D.Wallace Peach Books

A selection of books by D.Wallace Peach

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My review for The Ferryman and the Seawitch 16th October 2021

Wow. This stand alone fantasy novel from D.Wallace Peach is fantastic. The author is known for her world building and creation of memorable characters, and does not disappoint with the worlds above and below the sea, and those who struggle to survive within them.

Deals have been made following a dreadful incident. Innocents must suffer to fulfil the terms of the agreement. A floating derelict world with a queen intent on survival, and a rich and fertile land with an unrelenting king, are connected by one ship and the Ferryman. He bears the burden of keeping to the bargain made to the Sea Witch for free passage between the two realms, and he has sacrificed much over the years to maintain this fragile peace between them.

There is deceit, side-deals and an undercurrent of violence that races towards a deadline set many years ago. Young lives are at risk, as are those who sail the dangerous waters ruled by the Sea Witch. There are heart-stopping moments when it seems that all is lost, and heart-warming interactions between humans and those beneath the sea that demonstrate the power of trust and love. However, those seeking their own version of justice will stop at nothing to to achieve satisfaction.

This is a love story, adventure, mystery and thriller rolled into a compelling and page-turning fantasy. Highly recommended.

Read the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – And : Amazon UK – Follow Diana: Goodreads – Authors Website: D.Wallace Peach Books – blog: Myths of the Mirror – Twitter: @Dwallacepeach

 

Thank you for joining us today and it would be great if you could share Diana’s guest post.. thanks Sally.

274 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – #Life – I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now! by Diana Peach”

  1. I love your words on the journey being a part of us, no matter what. It’s pointless trying to reject any of it. Without going through the fires I have, my inner steel wouldn’t have been tempered the way it has, and I wouldn’t be who I am now.

    I’m so pleased you started writing and stuck with it. Your books bring me immense pleasure and enjoyment!

    Wonderful post and thoughts, Diana. Thanks for sharing. Hugs 💕🙂

    Sally, thanks so much for sharing so many life journeys and lessons! Hugs 💕🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Reblogged this on Myths of the Mirror and commented:
    I’m over at Sally Cronin’s today, participating in her wonderful series “I wish I knew then what I know now.” I’ve caught as many of these posts as I can. It’s been a pleasure to learn more about other bloggers on a deeper level than our love of books. Sally reinforces for me why I have such a big spot in my heart for you all. If you have a moment, stop by at Sally’s marvelous blog to say hi. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Thank you so much for inviting me to participate in this series, Sally. I’m honored. It’s been a total treat to read these posts and get to know everyone. A wonderful group of human beings you’ve collected here. Thanks for sharing them with us. I’m thrilled to join in the fun. Hugs!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. You’re so right about all life’s lessons making us who we are. Talk about a point worthy of reflection!

    I’m sorry about your brother. Losses are never easy, but especially when they’re unexpected and too soon.

    Thanks for sharing this, Diana. And Sally, thank you (again) for making this happen.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Cute as a button then. Cute as a button now. I’m about the same age as you are, and I can attest to the fact that it wasn’t easy growing up thinking the male gaze was one of the most important things in life. (I hope, hope, hope this has changed a little for young women growing up today.)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I found this intensely moving, Diana. I’m of that generation of ‘pleasers and fixers’ and that resonated – as I’m sure it will with many others. The tragedy of losing a brother so suddenly and without a chance to say goodbye is a pain I can’t even begin to imagine but I love the inherent hope in your words that all past decisions have ‘delivered me where I am today’. Your writing is stunning and I suspect a large part of that is down to those past decisions and where they took you. ♥♥
    This series is delivers every time, Sally. ♥♥

    Liked by 3 people

    • Isn’t this series wonderful, Trish. I’ve tried to catch every post, and they often leave me reflective and moved. I love getting to know everyone more deeply. I imagine many women “our age” will relate to being pleasers and fixers, and I think it still is fairly prevalent today (in a lot of the messaging I see). Eventually that will change and then women can take over the world and fix that too! Ha ha. Thanks for the kind note about my brother too. That was the utter low point, but also a huge eye-opener that I’ve carried with me. You are the sweetest, my friend. Thanks for dropping by Sally’s and huge hugs ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I so agree with absolutely everything you have said Diana – particularly the pleasers and fixers bit. I was raised as a compliant bauble – the realisation only comes with hindsight. So interesting too your comments about self-publishing. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for stopping by and for your comment, Frances. Oh, I wish some of us didn’t have that “bauble” experience. But hopefully someday young women will be respected as more than an ornament and pleaser. You’re right that at least it’s something we can grow out of. And hopefully become stronger and more aware as a result. And thanks for mentioning the self-publishing route I ended up taking. No regrets there! Have a beautiful day, my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. A great take on the prompt, Diana. I love this: “All my decisions, thousands and thousands of them, large and small, good and bad, delivered me to where I am today.” It is so true. But, I also wish I had known I would only have my brother for 19 short years. We were very close and had some wonderful times and conversations but I would have spent more time with him if I had known. (It was sudden as well) I hope he knows how much he was loved. Love the picture of you as a teenager. xo

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you so much for the lovely comment, Darlene. What twisted paths, huh? There’s a sense of peace and poignancy, I think, in looking back at life as a journey with all it’s hills and valley, leading to the now. Here we are! I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of your brother. It’s awful, isn’t it? A pain that stays with us. And your brother was sooo young. My heart goes out to you. I appreciate the visit, my friend. I’m honored. Have a gorgeous day. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 4 people

  13. What an amazing journey that brings us to this place in time! I too related to the cultural expectations of the past that asked women to be the pleasers and fixers of everything and everybody. This made it so much more difficult to put up the boundaries we need for ourselves, as you said, to be kinder and more present.
    So sad about your brother! I lost my brother also at a young age, but he had been sick for a long time so I was able to treasure many moments I probably would not have noticed.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. First, let me say I adore that photo of you from 1977. I’d say you had a mischievous smile. 🙂 Your words really hit home, Diana. We never know when one of our loved ones will draw their last breath. Sharing love is the most important role we can ever play in life. Thank you for sharing these poignant thoughts. Thank you, Sally, for hosting! Such a great series!

    Liked by 3 people

  19. I especially fully agree with Annette’s comment, quoting these wonderful six word sentence, Diana! We always have to make the best of every situation, every minute. Thank you very much for this wonderful posting, and have a nice week! xx Michael

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Yes, the traditional publishing route is frustrating. Self publishing is preferable to small publishers I think. Like you, as I’ve grown older I care a lot less about what other people think.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Great point about distinguishing between large and small presses, Stevie. I was with a small press and it seemed to add a lot of frustration without much benefit (which, to me, would have been marketing help). Sigh. But I’m happy now as an indie! And yeah, I care less now about what other’s think, but also feel like that’s made me a kinder person (less egocentric, maybe?). Interesting to think about. Thanks for the visit and have a great day. 😀

      Liked by 3 people

  23. A great addition to Sally’s Words of Experience series, Diana! I can relate to the combination of low self-esteem and shaky boundaries. At least some of us are fortunate enough to get beyond that in our later years.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Not what I expected of your background–not good or bad, didn’t mean that. If you’d said you were raised to be independent and an original thinker, that would have fit the woman I think I know now. Me, my mother never spent time teaching me to get along with others or be a ‘bauble’. She always said four kids were too much for her so she let us find our own way, but safely and healthily.

    Thanks for sharing your personal fable with us.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the lovely comment, Jacqui. I’m glad there isn’t any residual muck from the olden days on my sleeves. My parents definitely raised me to sink or swim, and looking back, I guess I did both. Highly competent navigating the wilderness, but totally incompetent socially and in relationships. Fortunately it’s all leveled out now. And what an interesting share about your mom and upbringing. I’d say she knew what she was doing and it worked out just fine. 🙂 Thanks for the visit, my friend, and Happy Editing!

      Liked by 2 people

  25. “Making time and putting our energy into the people we care about is essential.” Yes! I totally agree with you, Diana. There’s nothing more important. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. I loved your photo! xo

    Liked by 2 people

  27. So true about life being a journey. Sorry about your brother, we never know how long we get to be with the ones we love. We should never miss an opportunity to love or share our creativity. Great post, Diana xo

    Liked by 2 people

  28. I identified with so many of your comments, Diana. Hopefully, we learn something each time we make a decision. (e.g., I don’t need alcohol or drugs to have fun. People show their true selves to us over time. Some will be there forever, while others cast us aside when they no longer need us. ) Sometimes people see age as a negative, but as you eloquently said, there are plenty of benefits of aging such as becoming more comfortable in our skin.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Thanks for sharing your journey Diana, I love the life lessons that you’ve mentioned and glad that you wouldn’t like to change any of the decisions you made. What a cute teenager you were… that picture shows your kindness in your eyes. And your smile is just the same, just more confident! 😊 🤗 Stay blessed!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. I’ve often thought it would be good to know what the future holds, but almost immediately after I have that thought, I know that it would be so upsetting to know all the bad news along with the good. So maybe it’s best that we just make the most of the days we have and appreciate what we have without worrying about the future that we can’t control. You’ve done a wonderful job of making your writing career work for you. It should bring you a lot of satisfaction. I know it is bringing much happiness to all your readers. BTW, I loved The Ferryman and the Sea Witch. Looking forward to seeing your next one out there.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Anneli. I’ve always wondered if I’d want to know … and then concluded probably not. What if the future day I chose to see was horrible and missed that the next one was amazing! Best to take it as it comes and learn. Thanks so much for the kind words about my writing and sharing that you enjoyed The Ferryman. I was delighted to see that Sally include her review of that one. Have a lovely afternoon and Happy Writing, my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  35. Diana, I could have been the teenage girl living next door to you. Similar thoughts, similar scenarios. It was the times! I’m sorry for the loss of your brother. Losses are forever remembered. Your other life lessons are similar to mine, and I wish I’d known then, what I know now. Lucky, I had no trouble in school, being in with the in crowd. And a life career in nursing was a good choice. The writing part, I too started late in life, and made a feeble attempt at trad publishing. Historical fiction queries went no where. Si-fi/ thriller, romance, YA were agents preferences. Self-publishing was a god send to publish my first book. And I’m sticking with it for the second in progress. The more I know about you and my blogger friends, the happier I am in my retired, writing life. The connections keep me supported in writing. 📚🎶 Christine

    Liked by 3 people

    • I think there are a lot of similar experiences among teens, Christine. It’s a time of huge change. Thank goodness I grew out of it! Lol. And thank you for the kind words about my brother. After he died, I quit my job and went back to school to become a grief counselor. His death was another experience that changed the trajectory of my life. I’m glad you went with indie publishing. It’s hard long-term work, but much more rewarding. Best of luck to you with your new release! Have a wonderful day, my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you, Diana. I have followed your writing life, and it encouraged me to self-publish. Yes, it was a steep learning curve. KDP helped a lot with glitches along the way. Changes in life come at pivotal times. We need to heed the call and go on. Best of luck with your books. You have some I’m eyeing to buy. 📚🎶 Christine

        Liked by 2 people

  36. Another thoughtful post.
    It certainly is interesting to read all the reflections the prompt provokes.
    We all seem to see things from different aspects.

    I was interested to read about the publishing experiences and to hear that self publishing is better.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Sally, Diana, great post. Conversely, I was thinking of an old line from Bob Seger’s song “Against the wind,” where he laments the opposite. “I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then.” He is lamenting a wonderful naivete that made everything new and exciting. Of course, I think he is being tongue in cheek, but it does make you think are their things you wished you did not know now? One that comes to mind is when people you respect cheat to win. To your theme, the lesson I wish I knew then is how unimportant popularity is to true friendship. Your true friends will back even when it is not popular to do so. Keith

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think he was probably being tongue in cheek too, Keith. Knowledge is better than being in the dark, I think. But I also agree that the innocence and naivete of children is pretty sweet. I’d love to recapture some of that playfulness. And a great statement about popularity and true friends. It’s wonderful when someone has your back no matter what. Thanks so much for swinging by Sally’s to read. Have a wonderful evening. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  39. What a beautiful reflection, Diana, and so wise. I identify what you’ve written and I’m in awe of your strength and determination. Thank you, Sally, for offering this series. It’s a gift that lingers. Hugs to you both. 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and heart Diana. I’d like to say that we may wish we knew when someome we love will leave this earth, but in reality, I don’t think we really want to know that as I know for me it would consume me like a countdown for all their live-long days. Like you said, as we age we grow wiser from experience, and what we learn is what you said, we should take the extra moments of appreciation for those we love and care about in our lives, so that way, when tragedy strikes, we don’t have to feel guilty wondering if we let them know how much they were loved. And, I loved your beautiful and carefree picture. Hugs ❤ xx

    Liked by 2 people

  41. “What I know now is to gobble up every opportunity to love. Making time and putting our energy into the people we care about is essential, because at some point, those relationships will be gone, and there’s no way to get them back.”

    These are wonderfully wise words, Diana. The truth in your above quote should resonate with every human being to traipse this planet. Love is really what matters most. It is what we will be remember for (or forgotten for lack).

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Diana. And thank you, Sally, for hosting.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the visit and the kind comment, Beem. I think most people come to understand that quote (I hope so) but sometimes it takes time and maturity. What I needed to learn is that love is an active thing. You can’t just feel it; you have to go out and do it! That’s what I should have done more with my brother. It’s a mistake I don’t make anymore… or I try not to 😀 When I kick the bucket, I don’t want it to be full of regrets. Regret-avoidance is my motto. Lol. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a smile. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  42. So many of Diana’s reflections echo my own experiences. The best decision I ever made was moving back north after my dad died to live closer to my mother and my brother. If I hadn’t, I would be suffering many, many regrets right now. Diana’s reflection is a good reminder of that.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Hi Diana, What a good post, and I love your gorgeous photo from 1977. I was like you, with poor boundaries. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother, and your message is so important. Hugs, Toni x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good morning, Toni, and thanks for starting my day with a smile. I loved that Sally picked that photo to share – off to college and a new chapter in my life. Yeah, those boundary issues must be a teenage girl thing. They can take a long time to work through, but we can do it and be a lot happier once its done! And thanks for the kind comment about my brother. It was a tragedy that I chose to learn from since there was nothing I could do to change it. Keep spreading the love, my friend, and have a wonderful day.

      Liked by 2 people

  44. Hi Sally, Diana has the most beautiful way with words, no matter what she writes and this is no exception. She has described our life paths exceptionally well. I share her feelings about sharing time with people you love. This is the main reason I’ve reduced my blogging time over weekends, I am spending time with mum while she is still strong and fit. I love that Diana promotes self publishing and intend to go that route when I stop working in the future.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Robbie, for stopping by at Sally’s to read my contribution to the series. You’re comment was so sweet, I’m practically teary. How wonderful that you’ve cut back on blogging to spend time with your mum. I know you’re a busy person with a loaded schedule, so that choice is extra special. No time like the present, and I’m sure she enjoys it immensely. I do enjoy self publishing. For me, the workload is about the same as when I was trad published, as least related to marketing, which I had to do either way. When you’re ready, it will be a snap for you. Have a lovely day, my friend. Hugs..

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hi Diana, thank you, my mom does really enjoy our chats and we have creative parties in the afternoon when she knits and I make fondant artworks. I think marketing will be easier for me if I self publish as I’ll have more control over my pricing. Currently, I have none. 🤗

        Liked by 2 people

      • That sounds like so much fun, Robbie. What a wonderful way to spend time together. And yeah, control over pricing was a huge decision for me too. I had a really hard time promoting without the ability to discount. And my books were priced too high to sell in good numbers without it. That all changed when I struck out on my own. When the time is right, I think you’ll be very happy with the decision. You have a great following, and you’re already very good at getting the word out. 😀

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  46. Diana, it took me a while to put this into practice, but you are so right, Carpe Diem – seize the day. Life is too short, and so many people I know live in silent frustration wishing they’d followed their star. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. I am glad you grabbed life. My condolences upon the early loss of your brother. Life is also cruel. There is no explanation. We are here today and possibly gone tomorrow. Live now. Good luck with your writing, be happy. Carpe Diem. xx

    Liked by 3 people

  47. Just wanted to say thank you once more for the great series, Sally, and for inviting me to join in. This has been busy and great fun and so touching. I’ve loved connecting with your gang over here. Many hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Pingback: The challenge of writing outside with squirrels | Myths of the Mirror

  49. Not worried about the male gaze but I was definitely a pleaser and it took a fair bit of time to break the hegemony of harmony. I’m indebted to my fortune of stumbling on wise people among the drongoes who pointed me in the right or perhaps better direction. Lovely series Sally and thank you Diana for the insights

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Geoff. People pleasing takes a long time to temper, doesn’t it? It was so ingrained into me at an early age. It’s nice when the motivation changes to one of simply being kind and being ourselves. You’re right that wise advice makes a huge difference. Thank goodness there are people who care enough to help us along that path. Thanks for reading and for the lovely comment. Have a wonderful afternoon. 🙂

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  50. Thank you so much for sharing your life lessons, Diana! Why do we need scars to gain wisdom? It seems like finding ourselves is the longest journey in life, especially for women. I’m so sorry about your brother. How we wish we could spend more time with our loved ones. Your experience with writing and publishing is so valuable.
    Thank you very much for this series of life lessons, Sally! They’re priceless gems!

    Liked by 3 people

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