Explore the spiritual side of our natures as D.G. Kaye shares her experiences and research into this element of our lives.
You can find Part Two of the series: How Empaths Can Shield Negative Energies
Empaths and Energy Sucking Vampires and Narcissists
Welcome back to my part three in this series of Empaths and Energies. In the first two episodes, I spoke of empaths and how to shield negative energies. In this segment I am using the popular term used for those that drain our energies – Vampires.
It should be no big surprise that empaths attract both, energy sucking vampires and narcissists, who are often associated as being energy sucking vampires as well. As I spoke about before, empaths absorb the emotions of others, are sensitive to other’s energies, and often are like human lie detectors. As an empath myself, I often refer to myself as a ‘soul reader’.
A soul reader is a highly in-tuned empath who has the uncanny ability to read between the lines when people speak – or don’t speak. We can see the invisible mask. we can hear the words that are unspoken, we know what goodness or mal intentions are held secretly when we hear their words and even the words omitted.
Empaths often attract people with problems because of their sympathetic natures, but are also an open target for energy vampires and narcissists because of their open vulnerability to receive energies – good and bad. Empaths often hide their own problems and have an overwhelming want to try and solve the problems for others. Narcissists in particular, can spot this vulnerability. Weaker and troubled souls are often attracted to empaths because an empath’s personality gives off the energy that they are compassionate and open to receive. Narcissists especially love to gravitate to empaths because they see us as easy targets to manipulate because of our open to receive nature.
Energy sucking vampires are often deeply wounded individuals who have been hurt in their current or past lives. They may have been beaten, demeaned, or bullied themselves and wish to project same onto others. They may have grown up in abusive families. They have somehow been unempowered somewhere in their lives, which can instill a sense of entitlement as a compensation for something they didn’t receive when they were younger, or worse, because of mental or physical abuse or neglect they experienced at some point in their lives, such as unresolved childhood pain. Often, these people cannot see the light so they create scenarios where they must put themselves in the spotlight to feel empowered and better about themselves.
Narcissists often adopt behaviors that will help them gain favor from people. They lack compassion, remorse and refuse to acknowledge or admit the errors of their ways. Sadly, positive psychology won’t heal a narcissist or an energy sucking vampire because these people would never admit their weaknesses. Empaths must learn how vampires operate and help themselves because vampires don’t change. An empath’s biggest struggle is to learn ‘no contact’ with such individuals. Many empaths have had a vampire parent. I most certainly can say I did. I grew up with a narcissistic, energy sucking vampire, known as my mother.
It took me over 50 years to learn how to deal with my own mother. It was painful to be around her, and even as a young child, I knew instinctively something wasn’t right with her.
I analyzed her for 50 years before I figured out why out of us four children, she sucked the most from me and preyed on my emotions and compassion – because she knew how vulnerable I was to emotions, knew she could manipulate me with guilt, and knew how much I feared her to stray from her stronghold. But I finally put it all together, and after years of literally feeling as though my insides were being torn out and twisted by my mother’s reign, I did the hardest thing I ever had to do, despite how sad I felt to abandon her. I walked away. I stopped lowering my vibrations to her level to continually appease her. Being addicted to rescuing others is dangerous to our health.
So what can we do to help our empathic selves from becoming drained by these narcissists and energy sucking vampires?
- We need to use positive affirmations. You know the saying – you are what you think or feel? When we’re subjected to negative energies, we feel low and vulnerable. It’s just as easy to feel energy and empowerment by saying positive things to ourselves.
- Stand in the light. By standing in light, we don’t get trapped in an energy sucker’s sufferings if we set boundaries.
- Practice self-love. Feelings that are acknowledged become the energy that flows within us. Even negative feelings should be acknowledged by thanking those feelings and let them know we are sorry for their pain, then dismiss them.
- Self-love doesn’t take away anything from others, but boosts our own energy banks.
- When you have exhausted every available method to no avail, learn to walk away. We must create boundaries to save our own sanity.
- And most importantly, BE THE LIGHT. Vampires can’t tolerate the light!
The videos below will help you establish if you are a Highly Sensitive Empath
10 Signs You are a Highly Sensitive Empath
There are several types of empaths. If you are curious to learn about these various types of empaths for your own curiosity or to help discover which type of empath you may be, please watch the videos below to help you discover if you fit in to any of these categories.
Is there an energy vampire sucking the light from your life?
©D.G.Kaye 2022
My thanks to Debby for another fascinating exploration of the world of an empath . I know she would love to hear from you.
Next time:How Do You Know If You Are An Empath – The Signs
About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)
Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.
When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
“I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.”
Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”
Books by D.G. Kaye
One of the many reviews for Conflicted Hearts
“Conflicted Hearts” is a wonderful insight of a girl growing up with an unavailable mother and father lost in that world. I could easily relate to the role of caretaker being thrust on a young girl and the guilt she carried. The blame her paternal grandparents had toward her because her father had to marry her mother was heavy, as was her parents’ on and off living arrangements and mother’s self-absorption toward her children. The guilt followed Ms. Kaye into adulthood, as she always tried to do the right thing. I appreciated how mistakes made had given her the lessons needed.
One situation that made me cringe was during a trip to Greece and a broken foot. But people came into her life just when they were needed. I found that very heartening. It was hard to read about the abusive relationship she ended up in, and I was relieved when they parted ways. I loved watching the author make her way to her happily ever after. I found this an inspiring journey of how Ms. Kaye navigated her home life and then left it behind to find herself and love. I highly recommend this memoir.
Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye
Thanks for dropping in today and it would be great if you could share Debby’s post.. thanks Sally
“Being addicted to rescuing others is dangerous to our health.”
When I was teaching criminology, I would tell my students that they are not saviors for so many in the program felt that they would “save” people from their miseries. There is a difference between wanting to help and wanting to save. And one cannot help someone who does not want to help him or herself.
However painful it was for you to walk away from your mother’s negative energy it also was very courageous of you to do so. A healthy choice. ❤
Very interesting series, Debby.
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Thanks very much Carol..♥
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Thank you so much Carol, and for sharing some of your own experience. Yes, there definitely is a very fine line between helping and trying to save. I took me decades to learn that, so hopefully, my experiences can spread some awareness. Hugs ❤
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I think you’re really onto something with your comment about how some people prey on those who are more vulnerable to emotions. They usually are master manipulators, and the victim is made to feel guilty.
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There are quite a few of them about Pete. They are happy to take advantage of anyone who is susceptible. xxx
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It’s a sad fact Pete. And I’m sure as an observant teacher you must have noticed a few students who also preyed on the vulnerable. 🙂
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Most definitely. It’s one of the most interesting phenomenons about child development. In the early elementary years, I’m convinced that kids don’t fixate on differences. They don’t care about color, religion, politics, etc. There is a beautiful innocence in that they simply want to be friends. By the time they are in upper elementary, they are much more a victim of seeing differences such as wealth and status. I have to think that’s a learned behavior—how sad is that?
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I must agree. And as they say, babies are born pure and only know love and nurturing. We become a product of our environments unless we can open our minds. 🙂
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Debby, you showed such courage in stepping away from your Mother. Souls who live through control and manipulation will not change. An interesting and informative article. Thank you for writing it and thank you, Sally, for sharing. ❤ xXx ❤ ❤
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Thank you my lovely UB. We must experience and hopefully learn from. It took me decades, but I was always looking for a path. I hope my words can help others. ❤ xxx
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As a strong empath myself, I relate to your descriptions, Debby. Thank you for your post and thank you to Sally for sharing. ❤️
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Thanks Gwen ♥
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Thank you Gwen, sister empath. ❤
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It all starts with the self, and practicing self love can be the motor one needs. This was a great article, Debby, and thanks for sharing your insights with us. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
https://williampriceking.tumblr.com/
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Thanks William and for sharing on Tumblr hugs
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Thank you so much William, and for the reblog. Yes, it goes right down to the roots, we have to be able to love ourselves to be able to completely love others. ❤
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This is a beautifully dense article Debby, I will ponder the points this week.
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Thanks Dorothy hugsx
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Thank you Dorothy. I’m so glad I left you with something to think about. ❤
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This is such a comprehensive post, Debby. My first husband was a narcissist. At the time, I didn’t even know what that was, and it took a while for me to understand I couldn’t live with that. I love your tips for protecting ourselves and especially standing in the light. Darkness cannot stay where there is light. Thank you for sharing! And thank you, Sally, for giving Debby this platform.
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Thanks Jan.. and my first husband could not pass a mirror without taking a good look.. should have been a red flag! ♥
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Ha Sal. Not sure what is worse – the narc husband or a parent. But good we both finally saw the light and got away. ❤ xx
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♥♥
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Thank you so much Jan. I know you understand this empath business well. And I know well what you mean about not recognizing narcissism. While we were growing up, we never even heard of such terms. ❤
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The vampires amongst us can leave us so drained, we’re unable to help those who want to be helped. They can also impact negatively on our own emotional and mental wellbeing and so I’m right behind you on this one. Fascinating post, Debby! ♥♥
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Thanks Alex and your are so right… ♥♥
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Thanks so much Trish. Something tells me you unfortunately know something about this. But I also feel you are quite aware and that’s stepping in the right direction. Hugs ❤ xx
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So interesting and informative, Debby. I’m not sure that narcissists and energy vampires are truly aware of their behaviors, and so it’s up to empaths to do self-check-ins and maintain strong boundaries. It’s hard to do, especially when it’s so easy to see the pain and need behind those behaviors. But getting sucked in isn’t healthy for anyone. We have to own our behaviors and let others own theirs. Wonderful post. Thanks, my friend, and thanks, Sally, for sharing the series.
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Thanks Diana and I agree…hugsx
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Thanks Diana. You make a good point, most narcissists, like in my mother’s case, would never even believe she had one flaw. Many of those types of personalities live in a bubble where they are beyond pretending, but, actually believe there is nothing wrong with them. It took me a long time to learn. And it’s our empathy that keeps up going back for more, because our nature doesn’t like to hurt anyone. As I learned, things were far beyond my control and I eventually had to save my own soul. ❤
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They are very hard personalities for anyone to handle and empaths more than most.
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks for sharing Michael..hugsx
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That is a very interesting and also useful article. Thanks, Debby! I think everyone has made some experiences of the told kind. it is sometimes so difficult to say “no”, and you’ve been caught. Best wishes, Michael
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Thanks Michael..hugsx
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Thank you Michael, and for sharing. I wouldn’t doubt that everyone has encountered an energy vampire or narcissist in their lives, but many are not aware of their dangerous emotional capabilities. ❤
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Another good post, Debby 🙂 I have had many of those vampires in my life. Sometimes its hard to see past the wanting to help. Many I have had to walk away from, the ones I can’t I have learned to pay attention. You advice about keeping in that light. I find the vampires don’t like it there 🙂
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Thanks Denise.. they do seem to have tentacles, you release one and another grasps on… hugsx
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Thanks Denise. I am glad to hear that you can recognize these people and have learned to walk away. ❤
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Much as it amuses me to think of one of the USA’s ex presidents as a vampire, I do appreciate how dreadful a narcissist would be for an empath. I sometimes feel as if people latch on to me like leeches and drain my energy. This is a common issue, I think, for people who are generous. There are some people who take advantage of people they view as soft touches.
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You are so right on all counts Robbie. Our kindness and compassionate natures leaves us open target for those leeches. And I will add you are spot on about a certain EX president. The most narcissistic of all narcissists I’ve ever met or read about. Truly a danger. ❤
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Yes, it is quite scary he had so much power…
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There are plenty around Robbie. It is unfortunate and sad that you have to always be on your guard..hugsx
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Than you so much Sally for this platform. I love spreading awareness and I am so happy to read here that many are interested in these conversations. Hugs ❤ xx
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A testament to your interesting and thoughtful posts Debby, that many of us can relate to ♥♥
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Thanks again Sal ❤ xx
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Reblogged this on Pattys World.
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Thanks for sharing Debby’s post Patty hugsx
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Hi, you’re welcome. When I saw this subject line I thought, OMG someone wrote a post about my EX. He’s all the things this title proclaims.
It’s nice to gain a bit more understanding about such people and how I may have become attracted and how I can keep from it in the future without becoming a complete recluse.
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Always wise to be wary…hugsx
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Thanks for sharing Patty 🙂
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You’re very welcome.
But it’s I who should thank you for writing and sharing this with us.
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That is so very kind of you Patty ❤
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Hi Patty. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been a victim too of a narcissist. And I am happy if anything I’ve wrote here has helped you to understand, even in some small way. Hugs ❤
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Mostly, I’ve moved on from it.
I’ve written of my experiences in my books and am working on more books to continue the story as requested by readers.
I just hope to never make the same mistakes again.
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We learn from our life experiences Patty. And those who don’t, are doomed to keep living a vicious cycle. 🙂
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Debby, you were so brave to step away from your mother – you so did the right thing. Toni x
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♥
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Thanks so much Toni. It took decades to work up to it. ❤
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I often have found being in the company of friends and family who constantly ‘take’ my energy. I come away drained and haven’t learnt to protect myself in those instances. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your words are encouraging and positive that I can do more to shield myself from such people.
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Thanks for sharing your experience Luciana… it can be very draining…x
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Oh yes, unfortunately last Thursday was one particularly bad day. x
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Hi Luciana. These energy drainers can be found in everyone’s lives. I’m happy that my post has helped you realize and given you some ideas on how to protect yourself. 🙂
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I am certainly working on it, though this past week was great.
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Good to hear 🙂
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This is a wonderfully informative article, Debby and Sally. We’ve all been victims of people who suck away our energy. I think some are more susceptible than others. I’ve learned to pull away from people like this. I wish I’d known these facts when I worked. I never understood the stress I was under. Thanks again for a wonderful article. 💜
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Thanks Colleen.. unfortunately it is hard sometimes not to avoid online too, but at least you can take measures to back away ♥♥
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Yes, for sure. 💜
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♥
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Thanks Colleen. I think we’ve all been victims in some way. But the main thing is that we recognize and learn how to distance ourselves. Hugs ❤ xx
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Exactly. That’s why this information is so very important. ❤️
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Thanks again Sis ❤ xxx
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💜
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Debby knows all too well what she is talking about, and her advice is born from personal experience and her successful efforts to survive and lead a full life. Thanks for sharing this post with us, Sally and to Debby for her generosity.
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Thanks Olga ♥
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Thank you so much for your kind words Olga. I always help my own experiences can help others, even if in some small way. Hugs my friend. ❤
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Another fascinating article, thank you, Debby and Sally. I hadn’t heard the word vampire used this way before, but I can identify. I know some of those people.
I was surprised to see Mark Zuckerberg’s photograph in the first video. I wouldn’t have thought of him as an empath, but then I don’t know him either, so shouldn’t judge.
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Thanks Norah… and not easy I would have thought being an empath with the world’s attention on you all the time watching every move. xx
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That’s true, Sally.
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Thanks so much Norah. I was surprised to about Zuck, considering his greed, lol 🙂 x
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It’s good to be surprised from time to time. 😊
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Yes it is. ❤
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Excellent insights into empaths and narcissists, Debby. You’ve described my twin sister perfectly. It took me years to let go of that damaging relationship. Thanks for sharing! Hugs 💕🙂
Sally, thanks for sharing Debby’s fantastic empath series. Hugs 💕🙂
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I’m sorry Harmony. But I know only too well of what you speak. I did the same with my own sister, even though I knew I had too and the guilt still seeps through. Hugs ❤ xx
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🤗💖
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Thanks Harmony… must be even tougher when it is a twin… ♥♥
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An identical twin, just to make it even more fun, ugh. It took me a long time to trust after ‘the final event’. Thanks, Sally. Hugs 💖
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Sorry to hear that, that is unusual ♥♥
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I always think you were so brave to walk away from your mother. I could never have done that – the guilt I would have felt would have spoiled the rest of my life. I’ve learned that you cannot change people – you can only change yourself. x
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Thanks Stevie. You never know until you walk in the shoes and are faced with it all. I did feel that way for years as I struggled to get away from her to no avail. It became survival, and that became saving myself. ❤
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I bet she didn’t expect you to finally walk away, but I understand why you did. x
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You got that right. I called her last bluff, which turned out to be the last straw on this camel’s back. ❤
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Hi Debby, thanks for sharing your experiences and knowledge. It is beneficial to me to read these articles and it helps me with my dealings with people. While not an empath like you, I am a real softie and people always try to take advantage of me, especially at work.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts Robbie and challenging ♥
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Thank you Robbie. And I’m sorry to hear. But I surely hope my post has given you some good insight. Hugs xx
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Glad to finish the full post and love that point about the light !
And posts like this are important (not just for empaths) because we all encounter those who drain ! Especially those folks with mood disorders
😊
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So true Yvette. Everyone knows someone who drains them. Thanks for coming over to finish reading. ❤
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☀️🙏
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❤
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I am afraid so… thankfully there are more of those who enhance our lives hopefully…
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Yes great point sally – many more who edify or who give us life and fun
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Fabulous article. The 10 Types of Empaths video was enlightening.
I do have some of the traits.
When I left home, I moved to a different city, leaving the vampires behind. I got rid of another vampire 20 years ago, but It took years. Another was working the way in, but I cut it off at the pass.
I’m a lot more careful now, in my older & wiser years.
Thank you Sally and Debby!
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Thanks for sharing your experience Resa.. I too have found them hard to extract from my life at times and it is a challenge. Sounds like you have found the right strategies. x
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Thank you! I will keep plugging along. Also, thank you for running this series, Sally!
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Thanks Resa..x
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