Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 2023 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – #Marriage and #Fottles

Author Daniel Kemp has been entertaining us over the last three years with his funnies on his Facebook page and head over to follow Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

Married Life

Growing old the way on your own terms.

Getting to grow old!

And a couple of gems from Danny’s archives

Simple Maths

Sunderland, England.

The owner of a working men’s club along the coast was confused about paying a discounted invoice so he decided to ask his secretary for some arithmetical assistance.

He called her into his office and said, “Betty, you graduated at the University of Sunderland and I need some help. If I was to give you £20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Inventions.

I went to the Patent Office to register some of my camping inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, “A folding bottle.”

She said, “Okay, what do you call it?”

“A Fottle.”

“What else do you have?”

“I have also invented a folding carton.”

Again she said, “what do you call it?”

“A Farton.”

She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products, and one of them sounds kind of crude.”

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.