Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2023 #Potluck – Life and Loss – The Little Things – Car Service Time Without My Car Man by D.G. Kaye

Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives 2023 where I will be sharing posts from the last six months of 2022 I have selected from the archives of willing participants. If you wish to be included the information is at the the end of the post.

Debby Gies has documented the changes to her life after the sad loss of her husband. These changes are those that will be encountered by widows everywhere as events and experiences that seemed everyday or where dealt with by their partner become their responsibility.

Life and Loss – The Little Things – Car Service Time Without My Car Man 

After 27 years I had to service my car for the first time on my own, and first, find a place to do so.

For 27 years I didn’t have to worry or think about gassing the car, oil changes, car washes, tires, or brakes. My Puppy was the car man in every sense of the world. Then that ‘service car soon for oil change’ light began flashing. Where was I to go? The last time I took my own car in for a oil change was somewhere in the era of 1995. I paid $29.99 at a Speedy Auto – 30 minutes or it’s free. Ya, those were the days!

Back in the day, just pre, my husband, we were just switching over to self-serve gas stations. Gasp, I have to put in my own gas? Gone are the days when after another human put gas in our cars, the attendant would then bring a squeegee and wipe down all our windows. And maybe, if we were lucky, they may even open up the hood of our car to make sure we had enough wiper fluid. Yes, those were the golden days and how I grew up. The sudden switch over to self-serve didn’t have me liking the advance with the times. I learned quick to stop letting my cars go down to empty before a fill, and when the gage was hitting a quarter tank left to hit the gas station on a good weather day.

So, last week I returned from the gym and when I turned off the ignition, I saw that flashing message reminding it was time for an oil change. Oye! What a dilemma. Where should I take my car now?

I made some inquiries with friends. Most gave me warnings instead of suggestions. Don’t go here or there because they’ll rip you off and try and sell you things you don’t need. One friend offered me to call the auto garage she uses and didn’t even remember how much she pays there. I called, the person who answered the phone was kind of quick and rude, ballparking me anywhere from $80 – $130. Are you kidding me?? Did I mention the last time I took my own car in I paid $29.99? Had prices gone up that much??

I thought about taking it to one of the two dealerships my husband worked for. I know for certain the first one where he worked for 48 years, they charged too much because even when my hubby worked there, he’d take my car elsewhere for certain work or pay a service guy cash to do the work on his lunch hour, and all those ‘elsewhere’s’ I remembered, were no longer around. Then I considered where he last worked up until 2020, but that was a half hour drive away. So I then proceeded to visit my friend ‘Google’.

I knew for certain there were some automotive garages in an industrial area five minutes from where I live, which is incidentally, five minutes from the first dealership my hubby worked at. I know he did business with some of these places, and picked one to call, based on the many, many, five star reviews they were rated without a complaint in the bunch. Fair, honest, great, don’t try to upsell things, were just a few of the common themed comments I’d read. Bingo!

Before calling, I had to educate myself about information I’d come across that people were now changing over traditional oil to ‘synthetic’ oil because of better performance and longevity for the engine. I wanted to learn why that price was practically double than the traditional oil, and learned it had something to do with the refining process, and that once upon a time, when oil was discarded, the automotive places got paid for discarding their oil, and now, they have to pay for discarding it.

So, I decided my best option was to call  Mr. Automative, based on the fantastic reviews, close proximity, and maybe they knew my husband?

Nikki answered the phone. I asked a few questions, and before a few minutes passed, we were laughing together like old chums. She’d asked me for the make and model of my car so she could quote me the accurate price. Yes. I learned each model of car has different engines and oil requirements. But when she asked me more about my model, my response was, bwahahahha, are you kidding me? I don’t know such particulars. We laughed, and after two call backs of her checking the possibilities, I went down to my underground to search out the extra fancy initials and numbers beside the model name of my car for her. She then called me back with the quote – at which I gasped, but after doing my research, had kind of expected. And after checking with a few friends, they’d all converted over to synthetic oil.

Nikki gave me the price and assured me that besides the oil change they’d check all my car’s vitals: fluid levels, belts, tire pressure, wipers and more. And gratefully, they filled up my wiper fluid, because I don’t even know the difference between the wiper fluid and anti-freeze compartments. The car was remedied in an hour and the report came back that my car was still in mint condition, now with converted to synthetic oil, and all vitals reported fine. I felt peace of mind about my car, and that I now had a place to take my car that I could feel secure about the service and integrity and honesty and friendly service at Mr. Automotive. Sadly, nobody there recalled knowing my husband, but I’d landed in the right place anyway.

@D.G. Kaye 2022

My thanks to Debby for letting me delve into her archives and I know she would love to hear from you.

About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto, Canada. She writes nonfiction and memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and self-help about women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps D.G. on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor in her quest to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the imprints and lessons she learned through people and events she encountered. D.G. writes books to share her stories and inspiration. She advocates for kindness and for women’s empowerment. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness received, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel.

Books by D.G. Kaye

My review for the Fifteen First Times December 21st 2022

The author has a natural conversational style of writing that draws you in as if she is talking to you personally. Her memories prompt the reader’s own experiences at similar ages, and raises a smile or two at the similarities between girls of a certain age, however many thousands of miles they live apart.

This is particularly true in this collection of stories as Kaye shares episodes from her childhood such as playing in her mother’s stiletto shoes which would fuel a lifetime’s love of footwear, a first kiss, and taking that first puff of a parent’s discarded cigarette.

With the smiles comes the tears, as we identify the moments of loneliness and isolation as a girl becomes a woman without the support needed from a mother, a dysfunctional family life, and the loss of a much loved friend who shared the formative years between teens and late twenties.

At the end of the collection is a wonderful tribute to her late husband, who made her laugh every day and was the first and last love of her life.

D.G. Kaye writes with poignancy but also great humour, which makes these first times all the more delightful and memorable. The experiences are not just relevant to girls growing up, as many are relateable to boys and young men coping with the cultural and social expectations of the day, and finding their way in life and relationships. Take a walk down the memory lane of your own life in very good company. Highly recommended.

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

How to feature in the series?

  • All I need you to do is give me permission to dive in to your archives and find two posts to share here on Smorgasbord. (sally.cronin@moyhill.com)
  • Rather than a set topic, I will select posts at random of general interest across a number of subjects from the second six months of 2022. (it is helpful if you have a link to your archives in your sidebar by month)
  • As I will be promoting your books as part of the post along with all your information and links so I will not be sharing direct marketing or self- promotional posts in the series.
  • If you are an author I am sure you will have a page on your blog with the details, and an ‘about page’ with your profile and social media links (always a good idea anyway). I will get everything that I need.
  • As a blogger I would assume that you have an ‘about page’ a profile photo and your links to social media.
  • Copyright is yours and I will ©Your name on every post… and you will be named as the author in the URL and subject line.
  • Previous participants are very welcome to take part again.
  • Each post is reformatted for my blog and I don’t cut and paste, this means it might look different from your own post especially if you are using the block editor
  • If I do share a post which contains mainly photographs I will share up to five and link back to the original post for people to view the rest.

N.B – To get the maximum benefit from your archive posts, the only thing I ask is that you respond to comments individually and share on your own social media.. thank you.

 

77 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2023 #Potluck – Life and Loss – The Little Things – Car Service Time Without My Car Man by D.G. Kaye

  1. What I took away from this, Debby, is your resilience and determination not to let others take advantage of your new and vulnerable position. Well done on the research, and it sounds as if you made the perfect decision. ♥♥

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It takes time to adjust to the new normal. I remember at age 19 after my father died having to take over driving Mum around and looking after the car. Thankfully Dad had taught me how to check the tyre pressures and check the radiator level, but I remember feeling like a fish out of water for quite a while. Well done Debby for doing your research! x

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I remember this post from Debby. There are so many little things that happen in a relationship that become routine and we don’t need to think about, and then suddenly it’s all up in the air. Debby did a good job with the car, but I’m not surprised since she’s so resourceful and brave. A great share, Sally.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wonderful post, Sally. Debby speaks bravely about a path most of us will take – alone. Her courage and determination are inspirational. Thank you both–for embracing life along with the hurdles. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The good news is, like anything, something new is usually more manageable the next time around. Debby should feel good about getting her car serviced without much outside help.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A great account of having to reinvent yourself and do things that others would do.
    when my dad died, my mum was only 54, dad had been her driver, her banker, her financier and they had just bought a lovely appartment in Spain.
    Fast forward and she learnt to drive, take control of her expenses and banking and enjoyed her apartment in Spain for many years.
    But she also had us five (4 girls and a boy) around to help.
    along came 9 grandchildren and now 12 great-grandchildren.
    Yes, she had to learn to take control too.
    i suppose you have to.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Congratulations to the review, Debby! Thank you for shared your experiences so that your car remains ready for the company.She has changed so much in recent years. The visit A repair workshop now feels more like a visit to the fashion business.When you get the invoice served, the impression of a luxury fashion business is confirmed. 😉 But you did it best. Best wishes, Michael

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Febuary 27th – March 5th 2023 – New Features, Quincy Jones, Big Band Era, Epistolary Writing, Rhubarb, Reviews, Health, Podcast and Funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

  9. Fab article, Sally. So glad you worked all this out, Debby – it’s a big challenge to learn that stuff. I had similar issues, leaving it all to my ex-hub in the past, but pretended to show an interest one day and got him to tell me all about it. I wrote down his instructions for later use.
    I also long for the days when you would get served in a petrol station (as we call them in Australia). Those were the days. Hugs, Toni x

    Liked by 1 person

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