Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – September 12th – 18th 2021 – Queen, Self-Care, Book Reviews, Bloggers, Health, Humour


Welcome to the round up of posts on Smorgasbord you might have missed this week.

Another week over and we have had a few visitors. The electronic gate died and required a couple of days of CPR.. and then we had the first delivery of stones for drainage as part of the final landscaping.. topsoil and turf to come soon.  The inside of the house next as it is 5 years since we bought and decorated and it needs a touch up before it goes on the market next year. I am going to start a decluttering process soon as there are items in boxes that have not been unpacked or used since we moved in. I think if we have not felt the need to use them in five years they need to be passed along.

On the blog front …

I am going to be starting the new Posts from Your Archives in October and as well as giving you the details.. I am also sharing a post from the last series to show you how the post will look.

Since this series began in January 2018 there have been over 1100  Posts from Your Archives where bloggers have taken the opportunity to share posts to a new audience… mine.

The topics have ranged from travel, childhood, recipes, history, family and the most recent series was #PotLuck where I shared a random selection of different topics. This series is along the same lines… but is a ‘Lucky Dip’

In this series I will be sharing posts from the first six months of 2021

It is an opportunity to showcase your writing skill to my readers and also to share on my social media. Which combined is around the 50,000 mark. If you are an author your books will be mentioned too, along with their buy links and your other social media contacts.

How to feature in the series? Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -#NewSeries October 2021- ‘Lucky Dip’ and Do You Trust Me??

My thanks to William Price King, D.G. Kaye and Daniel Kemp for their wonderful contributions of music, wisdom on the subject of relationships and laughter.

And thank you for all the support, comments and shares during the week….

On with the show…

Chart Hits 1978 – Part One – Billy Joel, The Commodores, Bee Gees, Queen

D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – September 2021 – The Relationship with Ourselves -Self-Care

Owen – Face to Face by Sally Cronin

Patrick in a time of War

Snowdonia – Tanka Prose Above the World

Authors in the Sun – #Blackmail- The Millennial by John W. Howell

Advance Review #Teen/YA #Sci-fi #Fantasy – The Syk’m by Richard Dee

Book Reviews Rewind- #Fantasy #Supernatural – The Ballad of Mrs. Molony (The Hat Book 3) by C.S. Boyack

Smorgasbord Book Reviews Rewind – #Fantasy – Lords of Chaos (Unraveling the Veil Book 3) by D.Wallace Peach…

Memories, Music and Movies – 1963 Part One – Glen Miller and Lawrence of Arabia

The-Menstrual-Cycle-W

Women’s Health Month – The Female Reproductive System – an overview of health issues

Women’s Health Month – Guest Post – Outshining Ovarian Cancer by author Karen Ingalls.

#Reviews #Fishing Dawn Doig, #Butterflies Bette A. Stevens, #Safety Miriam Hurdle

New Book on the Shelves – Sticks and Stones: Ten Canadian Short Stories by M. L Holton

New Book on the Shelves – Anarchy (War of Nytefall Book 7) by Charles E. Yallowitz

New book on the shelves – #History – Transylvania’s History A to Z: 100 Word Stories by Patricia Furstenberg

#Anthology – #Paranormal – Where Spirits Linger – Compiled and edited by Kaye Lynne Booth

#Reviews – #Crime Carol Balawyder, #History Mike Biles, #Fantasy C.S. Boyack

#Fantasy Barbara Spencer, #Fantasy P.L. Stuart, #Poetry Annette Rochelle Aben

Tuesday September 14th 2021 – Jessica Norrie, D.G. Kaye, Joy Lennick, Carol Taylor, The Story Reading Ape

Thursday September 16th 2021 – Colleen Chesebro, D.G. Kaye, Valentina Cirasola with Teagan Riordáin Geneviene, Balroop Singh, Rebecca Budd with Miriam Hurdle

Laughter Lines Rewind – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Truth and Passion

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Rewind – One liners interrupted by comedic images by Sally Cronin

September 17th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – #Eyesight and Old Rugby Players

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope to see you again next week…Sally

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – September 2021 – The Relationship with Ourselves -Self-Care


Relationships with ourselves – Self-Care

Welcome to my Realms of Relationships column at Smorgasbord Blog Magazine. Today I want to talk about the most important relationship we can have, and that’s the one we have with ourselves. It’s often easy to overlook ourselves, especially when times are tense, fast, and frazzled with life’s daily grind. And if we have loved ones to care for on top of daily living, often, the last person being served is usually ourselves.

I’m a living testament of what self-neglect can leave behind as resulting damage. Often, we get so wrapped up in our lives and lose track of time – the time we let ourselves go. So yes, self-compassion and self-care are just as essential for us to live in good health – not just to survive.

Sometimes, some of the most nurturing people forget that taking care of others requires us to be in good health in order to care of someone else. But often in the middle of trauma, our focus often falls on the loved one we’re caring for – both young and old, without giving a second thought for our own well-being. I know this because I lived it.

Self- care encompasses the daily things we do for ourselves to keep our health in check – hygiene, eating properly, taking meds and required vitamins, and getting in exercise and enough sleep. Most importantly, any ailments we feel coming on should be dealt with as soon as possible once we notice things aren’t running as smoothly with our bodies, and not left to fester until such time we decide to stop pushing aside things a doctor needs to have a look at. And then there is emotional health.

If we are living through a stressful time, not just our physical health needs tending to, but, we need an outlet to relieve some of the mental angst that can sometimes translate to more physical ailments. Trust me, it’s not a myth, stress and worry have the ability to do great damage within us. Just like a health regimen followed daily creates cumulative benefits that add up daily, not following one will most certainly chip away at all the goodness we’ve already accrued through time as we continue to neglect ourselves.

Taking care of ourselves is vital for us to function optimally, but especially when someone else is relying on us to take care of them. When chaos or trauma strike, it shouldn’t mean that we abandon what’s important for us to remain in good health, but so often we’ll sacrifice what’s good for us and put others before us. Here’s what we need to know about taking care of ourselves:

  • Make sure to get enough sleep – not getting enough sleep can initiate other health problems.
  • Make mealtime a routine at least twice a day if you can’t manage three squares. If you eat a good breakfast it can sustain you through the day in case you do happen to miss out on lunch. But even more important to eat a healthy dinner, especially if we’re missing that lunch.
  • Don’t stop taking important vitamins and supplements, especially if you’re deficient in them. Not eating properly during stressful times, then not taking supplementation, doubles the drain on our bodies leaving us without efficient fuel or nutrients.
  • Take a timeout and go for a walk, read a chapter, listen to music – whatever you enjoy for a mental health break from high stressed life. If you’re caring for someone 24/7, arrange for someone to come by and give you a break for some down time and time to get household essentials looked after, and maybe even to eke out some personal time.

You can take this Self Well-Being test here to see how you’re doing: Berkeley Wellbeing Survey

How I can attest to this advice? Because I became one of those self-neglecters.

During my husband’s illness when I was caring for him 24/7, the last thing on my mind was about what I needed. While my world was spiraling out of sense, I didn’t care about eating properly, sometimes not eating at all. I had no appetite. I’d sneak in a shower when my husband would sleep, or if one of his personal support workers were bathing him.

I was full of preliminary grief and anxiety, and I wasn’t hungry. I had zero time for exercise, nor the inclination, and would not leave my husband alone even to go out for a walk. Our gym where I live has been closed since Covid came and only recently opened. I didn’t get to feel the sunshine on my skin for over half a year, I even abandoned taking my supplements to compensate for nutrients I wasn’t getting from lack of food and sunlight – such as Vitamin D, among other important vitamins and supplementation.

Because my old routine was no longer and I was up and down like a robot living in auto-pilot mode, my eating was sparse, my worry meter was in full mode, and sleep became a luxury. If I finally took a moment to throw something into my mouth, I certainly wasn’t thinking about vitamins.

I basically fell into a pattern of no discipline and no regard for myself while I lived with fear and uncertainty. In my mind’s eye, I felt I was relatively healthy and certainly my disruption of my regular healthy routine could survive a few months of neglect? Wrong.

I knew I’d pushed beyond my own boundaries of enough is enough and my health had become compromised somewhere between neglect and a broken heart. And as one who is always so adamant about taking precautions with health, I fell off the wagon and it caught up with me in this current year.

After neglecting my health through that time, I became like a car driven to the ground, having no fuel, no TLC and a burned out transmission. As if my husband’s health issues and his eventual demise wasn’t enough, I went through the worst move of my life – physically and emotionally. I was literally running on fumes, pushing myself to the finish line, where I could finally sit down and exhale. And when I reached that place, slowly and surely, all my bad neglect had caught up with me.

I’d already known my blood pressure was getting high – formerly never an issue with me as I was usually the cliched 120/80. I’d take my pressure at home after I’d take my husband’s, which was ironically, much better than mine. My gums started occasional bleeding, I became aware of a tiny red sore on my nose that when I’d scratch it off, would come back repeatedly. And most of all, I began having weird sensations in my heart and moments of shorting of breath. Coincidentally, I had just had my last annual Echo-Doppler ultrasound done on my heart last November and all seemed well. November when my life hit the tailspin.

Shortly after burying my husband, I called my dermatologist for an appointment about my nose after ignoring it for 6 months. Sure enough, it was a pesky tiny pre-cancerous growth she removed and sent me home with a chemo-therapy cream to use for ten days then I was to return a month later where she had to do another round of removing a spot she missed.

Apparently, gums react to stress and improper diet too. My dentist prescribed a special rinse for my gums. Next, my GP finally opened up in-office practice again a month ago, so I booked myself a physical. I told my doctor all I was experiencing. She’d already knew well what I’d been living through because she kindly booked me weekly tele-health calls with her for my mental health while caring for my husband, and the aftermath.

She sent me for bloodwork workup and to a heart clinic for a stress test. That scared me. All I’d known from heart tests were my parents and my husband. My bloodwork labs came back with a flashing red flag stating I was dangerously low in Vitamin D, and my stress test came back, prompting my doctor to give me a call.

I got the lecture I deserved and was prescribed 5000 units a day Vitamin D for three months and then re-testing. Because the stress test showed some parts where I didn’t take in enough oxygen, my doctor decided to send me to a cardiologist for further investigation. There, I was given an EKG, another Echo Doppler ultra-sound, and then fitted with a Holster monitor I had to wear for two days around my neck to monitor what my heart was up to for a few days in my life. Currently, I’m still awaiting the results with a call from the cardiologist, and am quite concerned, praying results don’t lead to anything scarier. The cardiologist isn’t back in office and my telephone appointment with him for results isn’t until later this week.

When all this heart talk came about, all I could think about was all my heart had endured and the continual weight of the grief that remains upon it that barely eases; it reminded me of how I always blamed my mother for bashing my father’s heart and him ultimately dying because he felt so broken and no longer cared about taking care of himself.

I told my doctor, now I understand how it could really happen, that someone could really die from a broken heart. She said she couldn’t disagree.

I hope you enjoyed this month’s edition of Realms of Relationships and taken something from it to adapt to your own life. I wanted to emphasize the importance of self-care, and since I was a living example of what neglect can result into, I felt it important to share. I’ve cleaned up my act since my physical a few weeks ago, and now I remain nerved out until I get the full lowdown on my prognosis.

If anyone would like to share an experience of your own about letting yourself go in times of trouble, and what you did to make a comeback, we’re all ears here.

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this important reminder that we do need to take care of ourselves as a priority, particularly if we are caring for someone else who relies on our strength.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the reviews for Words We Carry

Luv2read 5.0 out of 5 stars A gem of a book  Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2021

What starts with the author’s explanation of why she wrote the book: namely to share negative experiences and obstacles in which self-esteem issues and insecurities when faced and dealt with blossom to learning self-love; this is a remarkable revolutionary read.

One I wish I would have read in my earlier teen years when I struggled with my own self-esteem issues. Self-perception baggage from wounded egos, what weighs us down, fester and damage the soul the author writes. So true. This is so well written that it’s not just an enlightening educational tool but a wonderful read from a woman not afraid to show her underbelly, huge heart, and she does it with much authenticity and talent. I resonated with so much of what she wrote in these enlightening pages, but what stands out the most is how I slid down the rabbit’s hole due to my desire to want to belong, to socially fit.

I suppose all of us who relate to this unfolding have a personal story of our own. Mine was rooted in a family dynamic that made it difficult for me to have friends to my home and consequently I missed out on social bonding that helps develop a strong sense of self. It wasn’t until later in life, in high school and university, that I encountered warm satisfying friendships. By then the damage was done. I just wish I had this book in my earlier years to have helped my younger, more formative self. Thankfully, it’s never too late to unwind wounds and deepen self-love, which is another thing I found from this beautifully powerful read. In summation, let me say I am grateful I had this recommended to me by a friend, someone whose words I respect. This gem of a book did not disappoint. Highly recommend.  

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thanks for joining Debby today and please share your experiences in the comments.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 26th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Deafness and Questions!


Time for a rewind of funnies we shared two years ago and we hope you will enjoy again.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates

Now something from Sally

Before you open a line of questioning…. don’t be surprised about what you may find out!

A woman asked her husband if he would marry again if she died. He gave the matter some thought  and then declared that ‘yes’ he would.

‘And would you give your new wife my jewellery?’ After some thought he said ‘yes.’

‘And my mink coat?’… ‘Yes.’

‘And what about my golf clubs?’

‘No, I wouldn’t.’

‘Why not if you would give her my lovely jewellery and my favourite fur coat?’.

‘Because she’s left handed.’

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 24th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Singles Bars and Inflight Panic


Time for a rewind of funnies we shared two years ago and we hope you will enjoy again.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates

Now something from Sally

Mile High Club

The aircraft was on its final approach and after making his announcement to the passengers, the captain forgot to switch off the PA system.

‘As soon as we land I am going to have a cold beer and then make passionate love to that red-headed flight attendant.’

The flight attendant in question was shocked and began a hurried dash to the cockpit before anything else incriminating was revealed.

She was in such a hurry that she tripped over a suitcase sticking out into the aisle and fell in a heap. A little old lady leant over to her. ‘No need to rush dear,’ she said, ‘he said he was going to have a cold beer first.’

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – August 15th – 21st 2021 – Crows, Chicago, Soul-Mates, Stories, Poetry, Health, Book Reviews and Humour


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed during the week.

I call days like this ‘Grizzly’ as the rain has subsided to a fine mist that bathes your face and hair as you move through it.. not a good look or feeling.. still the crows have descended on the lawn digging divots to put golfers to shame as they grab insects and slitherers seeking refuge from the water-logged clay soil. So at least there are some happy campers.

On the subject of crows we have been rehabilitating a young crow who we believe was either hit by a car or possibly attacked by a cat. I first noticed him/she not sure which, a couple of weeks ago. I love my birds in the garden who are so entertaining, but when crows descend in a ‘murder’ and mob the feeding station they cause havoc despite not being able to gain access to the seed. The rest of the garden birds sit in the trees glaring at the kitchen window waiting for ‘hooman’ intervention in the form of waving arms and expletives.

After such a display to dispel the murder, one particular scrawny crow only fluttered a few yards and seemed unsteady on his feet. I watched him over the next couple of days until he didn’t even make an effort to fly. In fact when I approached wearing protective gloves he meekly allowed me to pick him up and examine him. He didn’t appear to have any visible injuries but was very thin and scraggly looking.We did subsequently find some very fine black cotton wrapped around his toes which was barely visible and removed it,  and we put him into a roomy box with some food overnight.

We noticed that he made no sound and his beak barely opened and we think that might be associated with a head injury or pressure put on his throat during an attack. This made feeding difficult, but after trial and error, we found that he could manage cooked brown rice, mixed with a little tuna in sunflower oil and bird fat balls that are soft and contain various seeds. He has also taken a liking to chunks of banana still in their skin which keep him busy for hours.

When the weather is not raining ferociously, we put him out in the back garden which is enclosed but is unfortunately is still accessible to the neighbourhood cats… Word got around the grapevine that there was an injured crow for the taking and he (now called Charlie) was getting pounced upon if he sheltered in the hedges. We would put food out for him and he discovered a den under the shed at night that offered him some protection, however he then attracted (or his food did) the attention of a hedgehog who seemed over a few days to put on two stone.

There is a dilemma as to the quality of life for a wild creature in these circumstances and what would be the kindest thing to do in the long term, but two weeks on there has been some improvement. Charlie is out all day with water stations and the occasional half of fat ball. He loiters under the bird feeder and despite his increasing size the other birds who would normally demand some arm waving, ignore him and even join him on the ground to mop up stray seeds.

We left him out day and night but he became stressed and clearly exhausted being on alert all the time. He knows my voice and comes towards me and he lingers around David when he is working outside and accepts being picked up at night. I did wonder what he might think about us, if anything, but twice when we have left him out towards early evening he has managed to get under the gate from the back garden, around the house and David has found him outside my office window. Once seems a coincidence.. twice makes me wonder. He seemed keen to be picked up and brought inside.

For the time being he spends the night safe from cats and hedgehogs in five star luxury accommodation, in a large adapted box in the utility room with his favourite foods, some water and a stick which he uses as a perch.

He is now more active and is beginning to show signs of trying to fly. The exercise during the day is making a difference along with food, rest. Today was also a landmark moment as Charlie made his first sounds… two quacks. Hopefully not as sign of a personality disorder but the start of him finding his voice.

David is just finishing a purpose built aviary for him for night time outside against the side of the house. A mini house will all mod cons and plenty of space to move around. We will continue to put him out during the day and minimise our interaction with him in the hopes t as he gains strength, he will find his wings again and head off. If not, we are not going anywhere for the time being and he is welcome to make the garden his home.

A slightly different excursion this week with a feature in The Munster Express Bookshelf which is under the byline of author Mary Crowley, whose books are in the Cafe and I can recommend both of them. Mary very kindly featured Life is Like a Mosaic this week along with two other authors and as you can imagine, I was delighted.

Time to get on with the posts from the week

As always my thanks to William Price King who will be back from his summer break in a couple of weeks, Debby Gies for her wonderful column on Soul Mates and Danny Kemp with his take on humour.

Chart Hits 1976 – Part One – Barry Manilow, Paul Simon, Queen, Chicago.

D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – August 2021 – Soul Mates

What’s in a Name? – Volume One – Isobel -Hiding in Plain Sight by Sally Cronin

Volume One – Ifan and the Black Sheep by Sally Cronin

#Etheree – Pilgrimage by Sally Cronin

Choka Haiku Primal Fear

Wet food for dog and cat in colored bowl isolated on white background. The Wet food for dog and cat in colored bowl isolated on white background royalty free stock photos

Authors in the Sun – Pedigree Chump by Marilyn Brouwer

New Review – #Western #Romance – Keeper Tyree by S. Cox

Smorgasbord Book Reviews Rewind – #Musicians #Covid – Pause, Play, Repeat:The real impact of Covid-19 on musicians by Sammy Stein Reviewed by William Price King

Smorgasbord Book Reviews Rewind – #Poetry Lockdown Innit by M.J. Mallon

Guest Post – Food Glorious Food and Favourite Aunts by Joy Lennick and Funnies from Eric Lennick

Smorgasbord Coffee Morning – Bring a Guest – John W. Howell and author Gwen M. Plano

chicken sandwich

The digestive system, the Immune System and a Chicken Sandwich by Sally Cronin

Family Health – Dandruff… Snow on the shoulders by Sally Cronin

#Interview D.G. Kaye – Leyla Cardena, #Learning Charli Mills – Norah Colvin, #Guest Allan Hudson-Jane Risdon

Tuesday 17th August 2021 – #Smell by Beth, #VikingBooze Rob Shackleford, #Update Mary Smith

Thursday August 19th 2021 – #Forgiveness Jan Sikes, #Environment #Waste Carol Taylor, #Elephants Patricia Furstenberg

 

#Reviews – #Environment Paul Noel, #Adventure Annika Perry

Learning About Autism: One Mother’s Journey of Discovery and Love: A Charter School, Teaching Methods, & Resources by Karen Ingalls

Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore Extra – #Anthology – The Shadows We Breathe (volume 1) Edited by Sarah Brentyn

#Reviews – #Poetry Frank Prem, #Fantasy Vashti Quiroz-Vega, #Memoir J.Q. Rose

#Reviews – #Poetry Bette A. Stevens, #Crimethriller Jaye Marie, #Thriller Mark Bierman

August 17th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Cross Vases and Nuns….

August 19th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Expectations and Chihuahuas..

 

August 20th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Misunderstandings and Alibis

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and for all your support. I hope you will join me again next week.. thanks Sally

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 19th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Expectations and Chihuahuas..


Debby Gies has been foraging on the internet for funnies to share and I have a joke up my sleeve.  

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates

Now something from Sally

Lost in translation

Miss Smythe was miffed… Her pet a Chihuahua was consistently second in dog shows throughout the country… One day she decided to investigate by asking the judges why this was happening. It was explained to her that the true Chihuahua breed had smooth coats and her dog, despite being perfect in every other way, had a shaggy coat.

Miss Smythe decided to take action and popped into a local pharmacist to buy some hair remover.

The chemist handed her the latest product. ‘When you slap this on, it’s best to keep your arms up for two or three minutes,’ he said.

‘Oh it’s not for my underarms, it’s for my Chihuahua,’ she explained.

‘In that case,’ said the chemist, ‘don’t ride a bike for 30 minutes.’

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – August 2021 – Soul Mates


Welcome to my column – Realms of Relationships. In my last edition of Realms of Relationships I wrote about Kindred Spirits. In this edition, I’m writing about Soul Mates – how we recognize them, and the common bonds that connect us with them.

What is a Soul Mate?

Let me begin by saying there are four main types of soul mates. You may read about several more, but the main ones I’ll touch on today are:

Healing Soul Mates: These are new friends who arrive with intent to provide us with life lessons that help to heal our memories. Healing soul mates appear in our lives through divine timing — the universe sends us these souls in the times we most need them to teach us a lesson we need to learn, comfort us in a time of need, and often to teach us a path forward. Most healing friendships exist only for as long as it takes to fulfil their purpose and help us align ourselves in clearer situations. This kind of friend usually shows up when we are facing repetitive patterns and trying to work through old issues with no resolution.

Karmic Soul Mates: Karmic soul mates could sometimes come as Past Life soul mates too. Our connection is deep and karmic, and often painful, as it aligns us with our ego struggles. The lesson is to experience the ego pain and learn to work through it to learn how to overcome ego difficulties.

Karmic soul mates sometimes have a twin-like connection. When intense emotions are evoked, each mate can actually feel what each other feels. Some of these souls have come back by reincarnation to relive and fix their own karma from a past life, to help break a negative, repetitive cycle. The struggle for many is to learn to disregard our ego, and a karmic soul is the perfect one to help teach us.

Past Life Soul Mates: These are the people we may have shared a past life with. We’ll experience a Déjà vu feeling with this person. This person will help to shape us into better humans. We’ll feel as though we’ve known that person forever, making the relationship feel easy and familiar. The connection is instant. We may feel we’ll be mates for a lifetime — no matter how much time has passed or how far apart we may be from them through distance. We learn to trust and believe in ourselves with this person’s guidance. This new soul friend will help us grow into the person we’re meant to be. These relationships are typically platonic, not about physical attraction, but as a protective, nourishing friendship.
This type of friendship can last a lifetime. This person may not be someone you will see every day, but you will stay connected through other means to sustain the relationship. They’ll always bring love and fun, no matter how much time has passed.

Twin Flames Soul Mates: Twin flames cooperate to overcome emotional and spiritual barriers. They could talk for hours without ever running out of things to say. They think in the same way, they’re on the same energy wavelength, they often finish each other’s sentences, and enjoy doing things as a pair.
When we meet our twin flame, we’ll feel a sense of oneness. Twin Flames usually aren’t in a romantic relationship. They are usually forever. Many Twin Flames feel as though each other is their other half. Often, words aren’t required to communicate, as they often know what each other will say or what they’re thinking.

A soul mate brings lessons for us to learn. Some soul mates may disappear from our lives once they’ve delivered the lesson and, quite possibly, show up again at other times. Some other soul mates will remain in our lives if we are lucky enough to find one. Other soul mates recognize their soul mate instantly by experiencing a feeling of familiarity upon first meeting. The energy attracts. We recognize a soul mate when we feel we can bear our souls openly without judgements and be completely free with that person about who we are, inside and out. This is a mutual understanding between both souls. Again, a soul mate can definitely become our spouse, but friends can also be soul mates. There are romantic and platonic soul mates.

Some people think a soul mate is automatically our chosen relationship mate, but there are different types of soul mates. And not every couple marries their soul mate. Generally speaking, a soul mate is someone we mesh beautifully with in thinking, values, likes, etc. But for many, a soul mate is much more. For instance, if we have a close bond with someone, we often can feel or ‘know’ what they’re thinking, and sometimes even what they are up to without speaking, and commonly, easily finish each other’s sentences.

A soul connection with someone feels as though we connected on a same soul level. A soul mate is someone we feel a deep, natural affinity for, someone our soul recognizes and resonates with. There is typically a common bond bringing the two souls together. This can be in friendships or relationships of the heart. When we find this person, we just know. A special bond forms that leave us feeling we’ve known that person in another life, or that some common incident brought us both together. Sometimes soul mates come into our lives because we’ve made a pre-destined pact in a past life to be together in this life, in various capacities.

Does everyone have a Soul Mate?

There potentially are soul mates for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we will all get that gifted opportunity to meet a soul mate. It could be geography that separates the union, and also there are many who don’t believe in soul mates. If we aren’t open to receiving what the universe orchestrates for us, we won’t receive. Meeting people is all guided by the universe who does its thing in divine time – at the right moment for the meeting to happen.

What are the Elements of a Soul Mate?

Often this person will give us the feeling we’ve met before in another life, and often that is the case. That feeling of ‘deja vu’ we experience with them is often just that, a feeling you’ve been together before doing something just like in the moment you experience the feeling. Many soul mates together in another life, choose to come back to same soul mates, so that is where the ‘familiarity’ can also come from. Soul mates often have a mental connection similar to that of twins.

Soul mates sometimes enter our lives for specific reasons and then we must let them go, for example, a Healing Soul Mate. People have the misconception that soul mates are one person we are destined to be with until our dying day. The truth is, we may have several soul mates who will show up in our lives precisely when the universe knows we need them, while others may be blessed to have found their one soul mate to share their life with.

Most of us who have a soul mate do maintain that relationship throughout a lifetime. Other times, some soul mates are meant precisely to come into our life for a specific reason, whether it be to give a life lesson, show us the way in life when we feel lost, or in a time of need for healing.

I have two soul mates. I must be blessed. One is my BFF, Zan, in the UK and the other is/was my husband.

With Zan, we’ve been through thick and thin and in between for forty years. We are completely on the same wave-length of thinking. We can finish each other’s sentences and communicate even without words. I met Zan when I first moved away from home. I was green! I knew nothing about the world except for what I was told. I began living when I moved away from home and Zan became my best friend, but more than that – a teacher, a mother, a mentor, and a sister to me. Twenty-five years ago, she moved to the UK after she met her now husband who came here on a business trip and happened to visit a popular after work drinking hole that Zan happened to be at with a friend. And only months after, packed up her life and went to the UK. But no distance could keep us apart, because we are soul mates. We are the ultimate definition of Twin Flames. She comes to visit once or twice a year and phone calls and video chats (in recent years) have enabled us to continue our friendship as though no miles are between us.

My husband? Well, like I mentioned earlier, it’s difficult to pinpoint when exactly we realize our soul mates, because it’s more of a feeling than a declaration just because we call soul mate doesn’t make it so.

I was a chronic fusspot when it came to dating, usually looking for the reasons I shouldn’t date someone. I dated a lot in my long single years, but one thing I’d always managed, was to stay clear of – getting married. Maybe I’d lived enough in a perpetual broken home, maybe I felt as though I’d served my time as a child playing Mom, but whatever it was, and despite a few near engagements where I realized I couldn’t spend my life with that person, my instincts kept me away from marriage. But when I began dating my husband, a confirmed, ‘already divorced’ bachelor, and he told me on our third date he was going to marry me, it frightened me because I thought he may have been right. Even though, at the time, I laughed and told him that was never going to happen. But it did. Because we were absolutely meant to be, and it scared me. I knew I’d met my everything I could possibly dream of if I were to ever marry. Less than a year later we were living together, and an engagement ring enveloped my finger. When you know, you just know.

If we learn to be aware of what our instincts are telling us and learn to trust in them, we’ll find they usually lead us in the right direction, exactly where we are meant to be. If we follow our natural instincts without second-guessing ourselves and without allowing ego to dominate our thoughts and instincts, and learn to trust, we will find we’re usually on the right path to where we need to be.

Four types of soul mates

The science of soul mates

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Soul Mates. And if any of you here have found your soul mate and you’d like to share about here, please join in the conversation.

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for sharing this interesting explanation and examples of the different kinds of soul mates.. I have been lucky and I know Debby would love to hear your experiences.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the reviews for Twenty Years After “I Do”

Reviewed in the United States

D.G. Kaye’s memoir, Twenty Years After I Do, piqued my interest for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve been married for thirty-one years to a man who is not only my loving husband but who is my very best friend. I wanted to read what the author had to say on the subject, and she certainly inserted many pearls of wisdom of which I agreed with. Before I met my husband, I had dated a man twenty years older than me, so reading her perspective on the age difference grabbed my attention, as well. This was the second book that I have read from Debby, so I was already familiar with her beautiful, conversational writing.

Debby offers snippets of insight from her own experiences on how to keep a marriage happy and unbreakable. She adds how humor can lighten any heavy situation and intimately writes of how sex ultimately changes from dating to married life. Most importantly though, she conveys that love has no timeline. Couples should enjoy each moment together and unconditional love will carry them through the difficult times. I was moved by this lovely collection of stories from Debby’s marriage to Gordon, and how she met true love when she least expected. An enjoyable read and one I highly recommend.  

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thanks for joining Debby today and please share your experiences in the comments.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – July 2021 – The Universe Brings us Kindred Spirits


The Universe Brings us Kindred Spirits

Welcome to my new edition of Realms of Relationships. I’d first like to thank Sally again for keeping my spirit alive while I’ve been transitioning through both my journey of the loss of my husband, and a great big move I did in the midst of my grief – a story which deserves a post on its own, and there will surely be one coming on my blog.

As the title of this series implies, my articles are about the many realms involved in the relationships we have and encounter in life with the people already in our lives, and the people we meet. So today I’m going to discuss Kindred Spirits – what sort of people are they, and how and why they enter our lives?

The universe brings us what we need in a single moment whether or not we asked for it or focused our thoughts on something, The universe will orchestrate a meeting of happenstance with a person(s) we share a kindred spirit with. This works similar to how we  ‘meet people for reasons and seasons’. I have lived it many times, yet, it still never ceases to surprise me. I am always open to receive, and that is the key.

So what exactly defines ‘Kindred Spirits’?

“Kindred spirits are like-minded and like-souled people with whom an instant connection of love and understanding is mutually experienced.” Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PH.D., tells MBG.

“The connection is inimitable and often defies verbal description.” 

This secret mission of the universe seems to work by the universe recognizing someone gels with us by connecting us with those we share a common experience with, and arranges this person to, coincidentally, show up into our lives randomly in a time of our need. We encounter new kindred spirits, magically, when our lives turn in a new direction and we serendipitously run into, or we’re introduced to someone helpful and/or compassionate, often at the precise time in our lives we are eager to welcome them.

Kindred spirits are typically those we attract to because we share common interests, values and/or views with them, and often, people who have shared same experiences as us. Kindred spirits typically resonate on the same soul frequency as we do. As we are all mostly made up of energy, it’s like our energy radars are flashing at the same frequency as a new kindred spirit passes our way. A kindred spirit isn’t necessarily always someone we already know, but someone new we meet and feel an instant comfort level and easily bond with on issues in common that connects us.  Often, we meet kindred spirits randomly. We can be out somewhere at an event, or even at the corner store, for that matter. A sudden conversation strikes up, and instantly we can recognize that kindred soul because their path or beliefs or experiences in life are similar to our own, making us feel automatically drawn to them, and vice versa. Kindred spirits are people who connect with our souls. There is a mutual understanding, and we are on the same wavelength with this kindred spirit. They get us, we get them as our lives will have contained parallel experiences that draw us to one another. Kindred spirits often share our same values and humor – another soul who understands our soul.

A kindred spirit is one who seems to have an inner knowing of us, even though we barely just met, but often that is why we met. It’s people who sync with us and resonate with our vibe, and often our circumstances.

Note that kindred spirits are not the same as soulmates. Soulmates are different from kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are people who are drawn together in friendship by similar circumstances and spontaneity. Often soulmates are very different from their other half.

Soulmates also have histories of past lives being together. Kindred spirits can be a fleeting meet with someone out of the blue that serves a purpose in our lives. They may stay only for a season, or come and go in our lives as circumstances change.

Don’t confuse kindred spirits with lifelong friends. Some kindred spirits may fall into our paths for just a short time, and maybe even just once. The length of time spent with them shouldn’t be measured. They may come into our lives precisely at a time we need them, and they may leave just as fleetingly once our purpose of the meeting has been fulfilled. With a kindred spirit, what counts is the innate connection between us for however long they fill their purpose in our lives. Again, we meet people for reasons and seasons.

How you may be able to tell if someone is your kindred spirit.

A kindred spirit senses our needs. They may call or show up at just the right moment when we could use a hug or comforting conversation, and be gone just as quickly. The energetic fields of two kindred spirits are like fireflies connecting.
They come by when we need a lift from their presence or to impart words of wisdom in a dark moment.

Kindred Spirits I’ve encountered lately

Ironically, I discovered when I moved, I seemed to be living on the ‘Widow’ floor. As my new apartment is close to the elevator now, and with all the lugging of trolley loads of my belongings for weeks up and down between the two apartments, a few women caught me placing a key in the door and introduced themselves to me. It seems the commonality I had with both Sheila and Bernice was that we all moved into a smaller unit from the grand three bedrooms we all lived in with our spouses. Both these ladies introduced themselves to me as they welcomed me to the third floor. Both women suffered similar losses to mine with their husbands dying of cancer.

Now, since I have the ability to size up people I meet within minutes, I knew neither of these women were going to become my new best friends, but we shared a kinship with our grief. They came to me in my direst moments of sadness and held conversations with me about widowhood and grief. I met them roughly two days apart. And both showed immense compassion for my situation.

Both these ladies felt a need to recap their lives to me about their husbands. I could barely get a word in edge-wise with either of them. They both told me how their wonderful sons helped them move and help them more now in their lives. Sheila offered me an invitation to knock on her door whenever I am feeling blue, when the grief is overwhelming. She told me she lived it all a few years ago and warned me the pain of grief will never go away, adding, it just becomes a bit more tolerable, but that’s it. Sheila told me the first year was overwhelming, the second year was a smidge easier, then added that the heartache never really goes away. Not very inspiring, and not anything I hadn’t already imagined.

Both these ladies showed up in my life and welcomed me to visit them when I was having a bad day. It was a comfort to know there were others around me who understand grief. In our brief conversations, my water works turned on spontaneously, and I had no shame I was sobbing in front of strangers I’d just met.

Do I think these women are going to become my lifelong buddies? Not at all. We have nothing in common but the fragile thread of loss and widowhood. They offered me a safe place and a chance to tell my story – something I feel compelled to let others know because talking about my husband is my only sense of release, other than tears. I released my heart and tears and went on about my business. In those moments, I appreciated those olive branches, even though I most likely won’t ever knock on their doors.

These women’s encounters with me were a perfect example of how the universe sends people our way when it knows we could use a ‘kindred spirit’. In my case, someone who has been through the circuit of the loss of a spouse. It was timely and appreciated in the moment, although, truthfully, when I’m in my dark place, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers, heck, when I’m there, I don’t want to talk to anyone. Period. But when I do feel like talking, it is my longtime friends who know me well, and knew my relationship with my husband that give me most comfort. When I feel the need to speak of him, it is comforting for me to talk about him to those who understood our relationship. But these kindred spirits who came to me were comforting in the moments that I met them. Most likely they were just some of the people I’ll meet for reasons and seasons, and in those moments I chatted with them, it somehow helped to unburden my overwhelmed soul.

I align kindred spirits with the old saying that the universe sends us what we need at the various moments and pathways of our lives. Some stay, some go, and new ones will come along as life progresses and new circumstances occur. Keep your eyes and heart open to these special people who appear in our lives precisely in the moments we need them.

Do you have any outstanding memories of a kindred spirit who came into your life at the right moment?

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this exploration of kindred spirits and please share with us your experiences of this almost fateful arrival of people in your life and certain times.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You

Harmony Kent 5.0 out of 5 stars A Book Everyone Should Read Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 April 2021

As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.

Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.

It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.

Some lines that resonated with me in particular:

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Pre-Pandemic Funnies (1) and Witty Sayings


A look back at the things we found funny a few months  before Covid found its way into our funnies each week!

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Nothing seems to make a person quite so stupid as driving the car ahead of you!

The first thing a kid learns when he gets a drum for Christmas is that he won’t be getting another one.

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.

I don’t want to start an arguement, I just want to explain why you’re wrong.

A supermarket is where you spend thirty minutes looking for instant coffee.

Help preserve wildlife and throw a party tonight.

Never make the same mistake twice, plenty of new ones are available..

One thing about inviting trouble is that it is bound to accept.

.

Thanks to Wise Crackers for Smart Cookies 1992, recently found on my shelves..and considering the oddities are nearly 30 years old… it shows how little things have changed…

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Afternoon Video – Debby Gies finds a Gem – Home Help canine style


Debby Gies has been helping find some new afternoon videos for you and she shares one from two favourites of ours and do head over to their channel to enjoy them in all their glory. mrandrewcotter

Also for those of you who are fans of these wonderful characters.. there is a book available which is on my reading list…and with nearly 2000 reviews I think there is no doubt it is a hit.

Olive, Mabel and Me: Life and Adventures with Two Very Good Dogs by [Andrew Cotter]

Buy the book: Amazon UK – And: Amazon US

Thanks to Debby for finding this gem…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020