Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – August 2021 – Soul Mates


Welcome to my column – Realms of Relationships. In my last edition of Realms of Relationships I wrote about Kindred Spirits. In this edition, I’m writing about Soul Mates – how we recognize them, and the common bonds that connect us with them.

What is a Soul Mate?

Let me begin by saying there are four main types of soul mates. You may read about several more, but the main ones I’ll touch on today are:

Healing Soul Mates: These are new friends who arrive with intent to provide us with life lessons that help to heal our memories. Healing soul mates appear in our lives through divine timing — the universe sends us these souls in the times we most need them to teach us a lesson we need to learn, comfort us in a time of need, and often to teach us a path forward. Most healing friendships exist only for as long as it takes to fulfil their purpose and help us align ourselves in clearer situations. This kind of friend usually shows up when we are facing repetitive patterns and trying to work through old issues with no resolution.

Karmic Soul Mates: Karmic soul mates could sometimes come as Past Life soul mates too. Our connection is deep and karmic, and often painful, as it aligns us with our ego struggles. The lesson is to experience the ego pain and learn to work through it to learn how to overcome ego difficulties.

Karmic soul mates sometimes have a twin-like connection. When intense emotions are evoked, each mate can actually feel what each other feels. Some of these souls have come back by reincarnation to relive and fix their own karma from a past life, to help break a negative, repetitive cycle. The struggle for many is to learn to disregard our ego, and a karmic soul is the perfect one to help teach us.

Past Life Soul Mates: These are the people we may have shared a past life with. We’ll experience a Déjà vu feeling with this person. This person will help to shape us into better humans. We’ll feel as though we’ve known that person forever, making the relationship feel easy and familiar. The connection is instant. We may feel we’ll be mates for a lifetime — no matter how much time has passed or how far apart we may be from them through distance. We learn to trust and believe in ourselves with this person’s guidance. This new soul friend will help us grow into the person we’re meant to be. These relationships are typically platonic, not about physical attraction, but as a protective, nourishing friendship.
This type of friendship can last a lifetime. This person may not be someone you will see every day, but you will stay connected through other means to sustain the relationship. They’ll always bring love and fun, no matter how much time has passed.

Twin Flames Soul Mates: Twin flames cooperate to overcome emotional and spiritual barriers. They could talk for hours without ever running out of things to say. They think in the same way, they’re on the same energy wavelength, they often finish each other’s sentences, and enjoy doing things as a pair.
When we meet our twin flame, we’ll feel a sense of oneness. Twin Flames usually aren’t in a romantic relationship. They are usually forever. Many Twin Flames feel as though each other is their other half. Often, words aren’t required to communicate, as they often know what each other will say or what they’re thinking.

A soul mate brings lessons for us to learn. Some soul mates may disappear from our lives once they’ve delivered the lesson and, quite possibly, show up again at other times. Some other soul mates will remain in our lives if we are lucky enough to find one. Other soul mates recognize their soul mate instantly by experiencing a feeling of familiarity upon first meeting. The energy attracts. We recognize a soul mate when we feel we can bear our souls openly without judgements and be completely free with that person about who we are, inside and out. This is a mutual understanding between both souls. Again, a soul mate can definitely become our spouse, but friends can also be soul mates. There are romantic and platonic soul mates.

Some people think a soul mate is automatically our chosen relationship mate, but there are different types of soul mates. And not every couple marries their soul mate. Generally speaking, a soul mate is someone we mesh beautifully with in thinking, values, likes, etc. But for many, a soul mate is much more. For instance, if we have a close bond with someone, we often can feel or ‘know’ what they’re thinking, and sometimes even what they are up to without speaking, and commonly, easily finish each other’s sentences.

A soul connection with someone feels as though we connected on a same soul level. A soul mate is someone we feel a deep, natural affinity for, someone our soul recognizes and resonates with. There is typically a common bond bringing the two souls together. This can be in friendships or relationships of the heart. When we find this person, we just know. A special bond forms that leave us feeling we’ve known that person in another life, or that some common incident brought us both together. Sometimes soul mates come into our lives because we’ve made a pre-destined pact in a past life to be together in this life, in various capacities.

Does everyone have a Soul Mate?

There potentially are soul mates for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we will all get that gifted opportunity to meet a soul mate. It could be geography that separates the union, and also there are many who don’t believe in soul mates. If we aren’t open to receiving what the universe orchestrates for us, we won’t receive. Meeting people is all guided by the universe who does its thing in divine time – at the right moment for the meeting to happen.

What are the Elements of a Soul Mate?

Often this person will give us the feeling we’ve met before in another life, and often that is the case. That feeling of ‘deja vu’ we experience with them is often just that, a feeling you’ve been together before doing something just like in the moment you experience the feeling. Many soul mates together in another life, choose to come back to same soul mates, so that is where the ‘familiarity’ can also come from. Soul mates often have a mental connection similar to that of twins.

Soul mates sometimes enter our lives for specific reasons and then we must let them go, for example, a Healing Soul Mate. People have the misconception that soul mates are one person we are destined to be with until our dying day. The truth is, we may have several soul mates who will show up in our lives precisely when the universe knows we need them, while others may be blessed to have found their one soul mate to share their life with.

Most of us who have a soul mate do maintain that relationship throughout a lifetime. Other times, some soul mates are meant precisely to come into our life for a specific reason, whether it be to give a life lesson, show us the way in life when we feel lost, or in a time of need for healing.

I have two soul mates. I must be blessed. One is my BFF, Zan, in the UK and the other is/was my husband.

With Zan, we’ve been through thick and thin and in between for forty years. We are completely on the same wave-length of thinking. We can finish each other’s sentences and communicate even without words. I met Zan when I first moved away from home. I was green! I knew nothing about the world except for what I was told. I began living when I moved away from home and Zan became my best friend, but more than that – a teacher, a mother, a mentor, and a sister to me. Twenty-five years ago, she moved to the UK after she met her now husband who came here on a business trip and happened to visit a popular after work drinking hole that Zan happened to be at with a friend. And only months after, packed up her life and went to the UK. But no distance could keep us apart, because we are soul mates. We are the ultimate definition of Twin Flames. She comes to visit once or twice a year and phone calls and video chats (in recent years) have enabled us to continue our friendship as though no miles are between us.

My husband? Well, like I mentioned earlier, it’s difficult to pinpoint when exactly we realize our soul mates, because it’s more of a feeling than a declaration just because we call soul mate doesn’t make it so.

I was a chronic fusspot when it came to dating, usually looking for the reasons I shouldn’t date someone. I dated a lot in my long single years, but one thing I’d always managed, was to stay clear of – getting married. Maybe I’d lived enough in a perpetual broken home, maybe I felt as though I’d served my time as a child playing Mom, but whatever it was, and despite a few near engagements where I realized I couldn’t spend my life with that person, my instincts kept me away from marriage. But when I began dating my husband, a confirmed, ‘already divorced’ bachelor, and he told me on our third date he was going to marry me, it frightened me because I thought he may have been right. Even though, at the time, I laughed and told him that was never going to happen. But it did. Because we were absolutely meant to be, and it scared me. I knew I’d met my everything I could possibly dream of if I were to ever marry. Less than a year later we were living together, and an engagement ring enveloped my finger. When you know, you just know.

If we learn to be aware of what our instincts are telling us and learn to trust in them, we’ll find they usually lead us in the right direction, exactly where we are meant to be. If we follow our natural instincts without second-guessing ourselves and without allowing ego to dominate our thoughts and instincts, and learn to trust, we will find we’re usually on the right path to where we need to be.

Four types of soul mates

The science of soul mates

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Soul Mates. And if any of you here have found your soul mate and you’d like to share about here, please join in the conversation.

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for sharing this interesting explanation and examples of the different kinds of soul mates.. I have been lucky and I know Debby would love to hear your experiences.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the reviews for Twenty Years After “I Do”

Reviewed in the United States

D.G. Kaye’s memoir, Twenty Years After I Do, piqued my interest for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve been married for thirty-one years to a man who is not only my loving husband but who is my very best friend. I wanted to read what the author had to say on the subject, and she certainly inserted many pearls of wisdom of which I agreed with. Before I met my husband, I had dated a man twenty years older than me, so reading her perspective on the age difference grabbed my attention, as well. This was the second book that I have read from Debby, so I was already familiar with her beautiful, conversational writing.

Debby offers snippets of insight from her own experiences on how to keep a marriage happy and unbreakable. She adds how humor can lighten any heavy situation and intimately writes of how sex ultimately changes from dating to married life. Most importantly though, she conveys that love has no timeline. Couples should enjoy each moment together and unconditional love will carry them through the difficult times. I was moved by this lovely collection of stories from Debby’s marriage to Gordon, and how she met true love when she least expected. An enjoyable read and one I highly recommend.  

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thanks for joining Debby today and please share your experiences in the comments.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – July 2021 – The Universe Brings us Kindred Spirits


The Universe Brings us Kindred Spirits

Welcome to my new edition of Realms of Relationships. I’d first like to thank Sally again for keeping my spirit alive while I’ve been transitioning through both my journey of the loss of my husband, and a great big move I did in the midst of my grief – a story which deserves a post on its own, and there will surely be one coming on my blog.

As the title of this series implies, my articles are about the many realms involved in the relationships we have and encounter in life with the people already in our lives, and the people we meet. So today I’m going to discuss Kindred Spirits – what sort of people are they, and how and why they enter our lives?

The universe brings us what we need in a single moment whether or not we asked for it or focused our thoughts on something, The universe will orchestrate a meeting of happenstance with a person(s) we share a kindred spirit with. This works similar to how we  ‘meet people for reasons and seasons’. I have lived it many times, yet, it still never ceases to surprise me. I am always open to receive, and that is the key.

So what exactly defines ‘Kindred Spirits’?

“Kindred spirits are like-minded and like-souled people with whom an instant connection of love and understanding is mutually experienced.” Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PH.D., tells MBG.

“The connection is inimitable and often defies verbal description.” 

This secret mission of the universe seems to work by the universe recognizing someone gels with us by connecting us with those we share a common experience with, and arranges this person to, coincidentally, show up into our lives randomly in a time of our need. We encounter new kindred spirits, magically, when our lives turn in a new direction and we serendipitously run into, or we’re introduced to someone helpful and/or compassionate, often at the precise time in our lives we are eager to welcome them.

Kindred spirits are typically those we attract to because we share common interests, values and/or views with them, and often, people who have shared same experiences as us. Kindred spirits typically resonate on the same soul frequency as we do. As we are all mostly made up of energy, it’s like our energy radars are flashing at the same frequency as a new kindred spirit passes our way. A kindred spirit isn’t necessarily always someone we already know, but someone new we meet and feel an instant comfort level and easily bond with on issues in common that connects us.  Often, we meet kindred spirits randomly. We can be out somewhere at an event, or even at the corner store, for that matter. A sudden conversation strikes up, and instantly we can recognize that kindred soul because their path or beliefs or experiences in life are similar to our own, making us feel automatically drawn to them, and vice versa. Kindred spirits are people who connect with our souls. There is a mutual understanding, and we are on the same wavelength with this kindred spirit. They get us, we get them as our lives will have contained parallel experiences that draw us to one another. Kindred spirits often share our same values and humor – another soul who understands our soul.

A kindred spirit is one who seems to have an inner knowing of us, even though we barely just met, but often that is why we met. It’s people who sync with us and resonate with our vibe, and often our circumstances.

Note that kindred spirits are not the same as soulmates. Soulmates are different from kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are people who are drawn together in friendship by similar circumstances and spontaneity. Often soulmates are very different from their other half.

Soulmates also have histories of past lives being together. Kindred spirits can be a fleeting meet with someone out of the blue that serves a purpose in our lives. They may stay only for a season, or come and go in our lives as circumstances change.

Don’t confuse kindred spirits with lifelong friends. Some kindred spirits may fall into our paths for just a short time, and maybe even just once. The length of time spent with them shouldn’t be measured. They may come into our lives precisely at a time we need them, and they may leave just as fleetingly once our purpose of the meeting has been fulfilled. With a kindred spirit, what counts is the innate connection between us for however long they fill their purpose in our lives. Again, we meet people for reasons and seasons.

How you may be able to tell if someone is your kindred spirit.

A kindred spirit senses our needs. They may call or show up at just the right moment when we could use a hug or comforting conversation, and be gone just as quickly. The energetic fields of two kindred spirits are like fireflies connecting.
They come by when we need a lift from their presence or to impart words of wisdom in a dark moment.

Kindred Spirits I’ve encountered lately

Ironically, I discovered when I moved, I seemed to be living on the ‘Widow’ floor. As my new apartment is close to the elevator now, and with all the lugging of trolley loads of my belongings for weeks up and down between the two apartments, a few women caught me placing a key in the door and introduced themselves to me. It seems the commonality I had with both Sheila and Bernice was that we all moved into a smaller unit from the grand three bedrooms we all lived in with our spouses. Both these ladies introduced themselves to me as they welcomed me to the third floor. Both women suffered similar losses to mine with their husbands dying of cancer.

Now, since I have the ability to size up people I meet within minutes, I knew neither of these women were going to become my new best friends, but we shared a kinship with our grief. They came to me in my direst moments of sadness and held conversations with me about widowhood and grief. I met them roughly two days apart. And both showed immense compassion for my situation.

Both these ladies felt a need to recap their lives to me about their husbands. I could barely get a word in edge-wise with either of them. They both told me how their wonderful sons helped them move and help them more now in their lives. Sheila offered me an invitation to knock on her door whenever I am feeling blue, when the grief is overwhelming. She told me she lived it all a few years ago and warned me the pain of grief will never go away, adding, it just becomes a bit more tolerable, but that’s it. Sheila told me the first year was overwhelming, the second year was a smidge easier, then added that the heartache never really goes away. Not very inspiring, and not anything I hadn’t already imagined.

Both these ladies showed up in my life and welcomed me to visit them when I was having a bad day. It was a comfort to know there were others around me who understand grief. In our brief conversations, my water works turned on spontaneously, and I had no shame I was sobbing in front of strangers I’d just met.

Do I think these women are going to become my lifelong buddies? Not at all. We have nothing in common but the fragile thread of loss and widowhood. They offered me a safe place and a chance to tell my story – something I feel compelled to let others know because talking about my husband is my only sense of release, other than tears. I released my heart and tears and went on about my business. In those moments, I appreciated those olive branches, even though I most likely won’t ever knock on their doors.

These women’s encounters with me were a perfect example of how the universe sends people our way when it knows we could use a ‘kindred spirit’. In my case, someone who has been through the circuit of the loss of a spouse. It was timely and appreciated in the moment, although, truthfully, when I’m in my dark place, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers, heck, when I’m there, I don’t want to talk to anyone. Period. But when I do feel like talking, it is my longtime friends who know me well, and knew my relationship with my husband that give me most comfort. When I feel the need to speak of him, it is comforting for me to talk about him to those who understood our relationship. But these kindred spirits who came to me were comforting in the moments that I met them. Most likely they were just some of the people I’ll meet for reasons and seasons, and in those moments I chatted with them, it somehow helped to unburden my overwhelmed soul.

I align kindred spirits with the old saying that the universe sends us what we need at the various moments and pathways of our lives. Some stay, some go, and new ones will come along as life progresses and new circumstances occur. Keep your eyes and heart open to these special people who appear in our lives precisely in the moments we need them.

Do you have any outstanding memories of a kindred spirit who came into your life at the right moment?

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this exploration of kindred spirits and please share with us your experiences of this almost fateful arrival of people in your life and certain times.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You

Harmony Kent 5.0 out of 5 stars A Book Everyone Should Read Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 April 2021

As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.

Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.

It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.

Some lines that resonated with me in particular:

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Pre-Pandemic Funnies (1) and Witty Sayings


A look back at the things we found funny a few months  before Covid found its way into our funnies each week!

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Nothing seems to make a person quite so stupid as driving the car ahead of you!

The first thing a kid learns when he gets a drum for Christmas is that he won’t be getting another one.

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.

I don’t want to start an arguement, I just want to explain why you’re wrong.

A supermarket is where you spend thirty minutes looking for instant coffee.

Help preserve wildlife and throw a party tonight.

Never make the same mistake twice, plenty of new ones are available..

One thing about inviting trouble is that it is bound to accept.

.

Thanks to Wise Crackers for Smart Cookies 1992, recently found on my shelves..and considering the oddities are nearly 30 years old… it shows how little things have changed…

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Afternoon Video – Debby Gies finds a Gem – Home Help canine style


Debby Gies has been helping find some new afternoon videos for you and she shares one from two favourites of ours and do head over to their channel to enjoy them in all their glory. mrandrewcotter

Also for those of you who are fans of these wonderful characters.. there is a book available which is on my reading list…and with nearly 2000 reviews I think there is no doubt it is a hit.

Olive, Mabel and Me: Life and Adventures with Two Very Good Dogs by [Andrew Cotter]

Buy the book: Amazon UK – And: Amazon US

Thanks to Debby for finding this gem…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – June 6th – 12th 2021 – 1970s hits, Narcissism, Green Kitchen, Humour, Health, Pets, Book and Author Promotions.


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope that the week has been good for you.. nothing very exciting to report from our neck of the woods except that I will be having my first official haircut on Monday after almost a year of hacking it myself in the front and David using clippers on the back.. To be hones wearing a mask in public I am sure nobody noticed but it will be great to have some shape back in it… that is if my hairdresser is still talking to me!

I am just about to head out to the garden with books and music to catch some rays… the promised tropical air mass is hovering over us for the next couple of days. I believe the temperature is going up to 17 C (62F) degrees and I am concerned that I might become overheated!!

With that in mind and the window of opportunity rather small….time to get on with the posts.

My great thanks to the contributors this week.. William Price King, D.G. Kaye, Carol Taylor and Daniel Kemp... they add so much to the blog and it would not be the same without them.

And of course to you for your ongoing support during the week and for keeping me motivated.

Chart Hits 1971 Part One – Ike and Tina Turner, James Taylor, Rod Stewart, Tom Jones 

Relationships Rewind -Envy, Jealousy, Bullying – A Path to Narcissism? 

Carol Taylor’s Green Kitchen – June 2021 – Dutch Oven Bread, Kale, Home Grown Pea Shoots, Fishing Nets, Neighbours. 

What’s in a Name? Volume One – Brian – The Birthright  

Chapter Five – Trouble in Paradise – Part one 

#CrownCinquain – Life’s Progression  

#Mystery #Paranormal – The Light (Wake-Robin Ridge Book 4) by Marcia Meara 

Past Book Reviews 2020 – #Fantasy – Allies and Spies (Unraveling the Veil Book 2) by D.Wallace Peach… 

Part Two – Author Biographies -Tips and Translations 

Image

Kennel Cough – Hygiene is as important for dogs as humans  

A-Z of common conditions – Athlete’s Foot  

3 Reasons to Create a Facebook Group by J.Q. Rose 

#Paranormal John W. Howell, #Poetry Anita Dawes, #WWII Paulette Mahurin 

#Thriller Allan Hudson, #Relationships M.C.V. Egan, #Fantasy Jean Lee 

Memoir Marian Longenecker Beaman, #Prehistoric Jacqui Murray, #Memoir Patty Fletcher 

Hugh W. Roberts

Monday June 7th 2021 – #Food #Environment Carol Taylor, #Blogging #Interview Hugh W. Roberts, #Poetry Colleen Chesebro 

Tuesday 8th June 2021 – Entertaining Again? #Recipes Dolly Aizenman, Eat Dessert First, Dorothy of New Vintage Kitchen. 

Wednesday 9th June 2021 – #Newhome Ritu Bhathal, #Reviews Jan Sikes, #Writing D.L. Finn 

Thursday June 10th 2021 – #Children #HandWriting Robbie Cheadle, #BetaReaders Richard Dee, #Guest C.S. Boyack with D.L. Finn 

#Fantasy – The Ferryman and the Sea Witch by D.Wallace Peach 

#Contemporary – Matilda Windsor Is Coming Home by Anne Goodwin 

#Safety Miriam Hurdle, #Malta Darlene Foster, #Environment Kathleen Jae 

June 8th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Catnip and Groaners 

June 10th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – #Twins and more Groaners 

June 11th 2021 – Anniversary Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Carbolic Soap and It could be worse 

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and for all your support.. I hope you will join me again next week…Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships Rewind -Envy, Jealousy, Bullying – A Path to Narcissism?


Following the death of her husband, Debby Gies is moving into her new condo in two weeks time and is extremely busy downsizing and getting her new home prepared. She is very much looking forward to writing a new column for July 12th when she is settled. In the meantime, a repeat on the thought provoking column on narcissism.

Envy, Jealousy, Bullying – A Path to Narcissism?

There’s nothing good about the green-eyed monster, envy. Envy is a side-effect for some who harbor resentments and suffer a feeling of lacking. And for many, this syndrome can lead to narcissism—created from the root of the bad seed of envy that nurtures itself, manifesting into desire and creating a must need to, out-do, outlast, outshine and all the other ‘outs,’ better than anyone else in their circles and beyond, to compensate for the envy and attention others receive, with a desperate want to be showered with adulation and praise to feel superior.

The distinction between envy and jealousy is: Envy is a reaction to lack of something others have which you desire. Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something, or usually someone, to another cause or person.

But where does this envious or jealous behavior evolve from? What are the seeds that spawn such behavior?

I’m familiar with the envy and the jealousy syndrome, so I can speak confidently from experience. My mother was a champion at both. I knew my mother better than I ever let her know me. I also know her beginnings in life were defining reasons for the contributing factors aiding in the creating of both bugs in her character, and the eventuality of her narcissism.

People don’t just behave a certain way out of thin air. Behaviors are learned from studying or being a part of other’s behavior and then adopting those same behaviors. Bad behavior and anger grow from resentments, neglect, hurt, and lacking, which can result into rage-filled anger episodes that can ultimately become a long-term side effect in behavioral patterns as resentments pile and fester. These frenzied fits become an assault on the narcissist’s victim’s self-esteem over long-term.

An emotionally neglected child who is berated, ridiculed, or ignored by a narcissistic parent, may feel vulnerable and sometimes insignificant, as their own declining self-esteem gets chipped away at. Without proper nurturing and attention, these children grow up with a lack of confidence, and can possibly begin to harbor their own grievances for other’s accomplishments. This is a perpetual unhealthy existence for a child.

Those harbored feelings of inadequacy can lead them to follow suit and become bullies themselves. Bullies aren’t born, just as racists aren’t born, they’re bred. We are born pure. It’s the outside influences that help feed us as we develop that help shape our values and preferences. These acquired negative traits can derive from both the home and outside influences. There are a multitude of things that can contribute to the reasons for someone becoming a bully. And the usual reason for a bully’s actions will come down to one of these: they’ve been hurt, jealousy, or anger. And often, if these traits aren’t dealt with, they have a propensity to become a precursor to narcissism.

Bullies have been hurt. They’ve been ridiculed and made to feel inadequate at some point, so in retaliation, they project by placing their frustrations on others. Often, the name-calling by a bully is a transference onto someone else because of what someone has laid on them, or, what they imagined was laid on them. Bullies feel outdone and unencouraged, they project back on to someone weaker because they’re reminded of what they themselves are lacking in and want someone else to feel their pain. Whether in school where they’re made to feel stupid by peers, or even a bad teacher, or home where they may be teased and ridiculed and neglected, they don’t want to be reminded about what they are missing out on, be it good grades, a shiny bike, and as they age, a job, a family, a vacation, lavish gifts – they are frustrated they don’t have something others do, either emotionally and/or materialistically.

The narcissism develops and begins with visions of seeking to attain something to compensate for what they lack in. Narcissists require praise like we need oxygen. They have a need to be admired for their actions and possessions. Compliments and kudos are their fuel to validate they are no longer lacking. These are components to how narcissism grows.
A narc is an oxymoron – like two people in one. Two selfs – fraudulent, and dreamer. The dreamer self is what keeps them focused on their fraudulent motives and goals to attain superiority, often presenting a social side of their nature in public, evoking their fraudulent self of grandiosity, authority and dominance, while deep inside, they know who they really are, which perpetuates the persona of their fraudulent self.

Narcs must maintain their personas and egos daily. It is in fact, a lot of work for narcs to keep up the show, but a necessary defense mechanism for their ego to survive and thrive. What must go on in their minds? Pathological narcs are delusional about imagining things that never happened and twisting events that have actually happened, into a converted version that fits their narrative better. Pathological narcs are the most dangerous of all relationships. They imagine things – slights and accomplishments that don’t exist, and they believe them. The dangers presented can be anything from threats, guilt trips, blackmail, lies, excuses, and they are notorious for gaslighting anyone who threatens their bubble of superiority.

Narcissistic parents are my familiar territory, as I grew up with a narcissistic mother.

Most of the damage from a narc parent begins in early development of their children, which, in itself, can contribute to becoming the catalyst for narcissism to be inherited if not checked. But not always, because it will depend on the emotional state of each individual child. Damage can lead to symptoms of withdrawal into oneself, creating a low self-esteem, becoming a people pleaser, and later, as mentioned earlier, can potentially manifest into bullying and/or narcissism transferred to their victims. The condition(s) will grow as the narc’s defenses escalate, leaving the child to form either a shield around themselves from others, or in contrast, a reactive personality, such as bullying in defense of the hurt that has accumulated from being ridiculed, belittled, and/or ignored.

It becomes a constant battle for a narcissist to defend their wounds with a growing determination to never be left out or hurt again. When a narc feels hurt or someone is outshining them, they unleash an inner rage which always resides within them, this is their defense used when being challenged or bested by someone else.

As a child of a narc, I will state that there are only two ways for us to develop. We either become like them or try to steer clear of them. Most children of narcissists require long-term therapy to unlearn the many familiar repercussions of low self-esteem, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy, which are common results of growing up in a narcissistic environment. For the lucky ones of us, we turn to another family figure in our lives for nurturing. For me, I was fortunate to have my Aunty Sherry, my mother’s sister, who was well-versed in her sister’s antics. Some of us will develop a curiosity to learn the whys of their parent’s erratic and grandiose behavior. I turned to self-help books in efforts to find an understanding of my mother’s behavior to help me to understand what spurs this kind of behavior, which notably stems from their own childhood abuse. They mimicked instead of ran away from.

Narcissists have no empathy and create and live in their own reality. A narc’s scars evolve from them being humiliated, hurt, or ignored at a crucial point in their own young psychological development. When they are later faced with situations where they feel challenged, they become triggered by other’s accomplishments. Our successes remind them they have failed or have been deprived of the same accomplishment, as though someone else’s success takes away from them personally, leaving them feeling small and insignificant as they constantly compare themselves to others.

In order to get along with a narc, they must feel that they are in total control and they must be in the forefront ahead of anyone else, and if they feel threatened in a moment, they will make us pay emotionally by slashing our self-esteems and try to make us feel inferior, using a common tool called projection.

Example: Trying to help my own mother with her health issues by recommending better diet and supplementation, got me this—one of her standard retaliatory lines: “You think you’re so goddamned smart.” This is a perfect example because once you learn how a narc operates, you can begin to take their lashings with a grain of salt.

Dissection of that statement: My mother lived in grandiosity, so recommendations to her were like being told. And being told by her daughter who had a lot more knowledge than her when it came to health, annoyed her. It made her feel she wasn’t smart enough to know this on her own – triggering her own feelings of inadequacy, plus, she interpreted my giving advice as though she were being told by someone more educated than her, worse, from her own spawn. Those things always hit a nerve with her.

Envy vs. jealousy:

Envy is a reaction to someone who has something the envier wants, and they can’t or don’t have. The envious one wants that life, job, dress, car, education, etc.

Jealousy is ignited by a loss of someone they can no longer have in a relationship – attention paid to them gone, a partner cheating on them, a friend who spends other time with other friends, creating a raging drive fueling them to go to any lengths to retaliate, and the ultimate reaction is revenge. Jealousy can apply to any relationship – one of the heart or a friendship, where the jealous person fears losing that relationship, driving them to react impulsively.

A narc is a jealous person and can take their jealousy to dangerous levels. Jealousy is formed from insecurity. And their jealousy isn’t reserved only for strangers and friends, but children of narcs are often emotionally neglected by a narcissistic parent. These children get no encouragement, no applause for accomplishments, and sometimes rarely a compliment, as that would mean it would take away from the narc. Narcs feel that by giving anything compassionate of themselves, it takes away from them, almost like their ‘score card’.

Pathological narcissism sets in when delusion and extreme behavior evolve and can potentially lead to dangerous abuse. These feelings are born from feelings of insecurity, and from being made to feel inadequate, evoking a void in them, leading them to feel resentful with entitlement by feeling deserving of what everyone else has.

A narcissistic parent’s actions don’t change for their children. Typically, a narc mother would like their child to represent everything the parent wanted to be – a great achiever, well-dressed, popular, etc. Alternatively, as in my case growing up, I sensed my mother’s jealousies for any of my accomplishments. Instead of her acting proud of my accomplishments, looking at them as a reflection on accomplishment for herself as a mother, she felt the opposite way, making me feel as though my accomplishments were a threat and competition to her grandiosity. At other times, when she had an audience and her children were around, she would only then take the opportunity to brag about an accomplishment to let that person know how wonderful her child is. But one-on-one it was a different feeling.

Narcissistic parents who neglect their children emotionally will exude these usual behaviors: are uninterested in milestone accomplishments of their children, harbor covert jealousy, don’t encourage, shows no compassion, main goal is stealing the limelight, domination, and using threats and guilt trips as discipline. All these attributes help shape their child’s personality making the child feel nervous, inadequate, and insecure as they grow and venture into their own grownup lives. It’s a behavioral pattern that the child learns to adapt to – or avoid. These types of parents will either project onto their child everything they themselves wish to be, do, or have, and often will become jealous of all that child accomplishes throughout their life. The child grows up fearful of that parent – fear of reprimanding, threats, and punishments if they don’t obey the rules.

The tactic is known as emotional blackmail, a common method used for narcs to discipline children. This behavior will ultimately affect the relationships we, the children, gravitate to in future, similar unhealthy relationships, both, romantically and in friendships. These fractures narc’s children endure can lead to social retreat, lack of confidence, fear and insecurities, and no self-gratification for their own accomplishments. We become the product of who we grew up under, often depressed, nervous, anxious, and fearful. These repercussions can stick with that child all their lives unless they seek therapy – or in my case, self-help and a mentor.

The narc parent is a blamer on everyone else, nothing is their fault, with no regard for the fallout or the feelings of others. Two typical habits of narcs are, belittling of others to keep the spotlight on them, and denying the reality of a situation by twisting the narrative to match their perceived delusions. The narc parent’s lacking becomes the child’s problem.

Dr. Ramani – understanding a narcissist’s jealousy

My Mother’s jealousy of myself confirmed her disorder to me throughout my life. It began with her jealousy of my close relationship with my father. Then it grew into her jealousy for attention I was paid as I matured into young womanhood whenever we were out together and a male paid attention to me before her, and even when I began dating my now husband (who is incidentally, two years older than my mother was), and her flirtation with him upon first meeting. All her contrived jealousies were because in those instances, she did not hold the spotlight.

Dr. Ramani, Narcissistic Mothers

Children of Narcissistic Mothers need to educate themselves and/or get therapy to repair the mental damage inflicted upon them. The narc’s delusions should not become our realities. If we can recognize the signs of a narc that’s half the battle of learning that what they bestow upon us are derived from their inefficiencies, not ours. We need to recognize their symptoms so we can protect our self-esteems and find another path of nurturing and self-love so we don’t fall prey to falling into wrong relationships with same type of people and repeating what is familiar to us.

Recognize the signs of authoritative behavior, dominance, superiority complexes, emotionally unavailability, un-nurturing, blackmail, guilt trips, and mind manipulation. All these factors become an assault on our self-esteem. We need to realize we don’t owe our mothers a debt because they gave birth to us. We owe it to ourselves to learn the signs of a narcissist and how to adjust our sails when under their control. Narcissists won’t be told or controlled, it’s like pouring gasoline onto their open emotional wounds. We must learn how to protect ourselves from them. Sometimes, we must resort to drastic measures, such as, no contact as the years progress and we grow, as their toxicity never falters.

All situations are unique, but the symptoms never change. Because we can’t change them, we must find what’s most comfortable for ourselves to retain our own sanity. It’s called self-preservation and self-love—something I’ve spent most of my life working on, not just to survive emotionally, but to thrive.

~ ~ ~

I’m including two more good video links here, for those wanting to learn more about narcissists and how they affect our personal lives:

Narcissism in a parent by Dr. Ramani

Pathological Jealousy and Narcissism – Why you can never earn their trust by Melanie Tonia Evans

©D.G. Kaye 2020

My thanks to Debby for this detailed analysis of the mother child relationship when it is marred by narcissism and jealousy. I know that she would value your feedback. thanks Sally.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You

Harmony Kent 5.0 out of 5 stars A Book Everyone Should Read  Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 April 2021

As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.

Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.

It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.

Some lines that resonated with me in particular: 

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies

Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Alexa and Hell


Welcome to laughter lines with some gems Debby Gies has discovered online and a few bits of humour from Sally.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

For those of you who are not sure what to expect!!!

Is Hell Exothermic?

Actual question on a University of Washington chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.”

Most of the students’ proofs involved Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that “it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,” and taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then 2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 25th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – The Glories of Maturity Part One


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby and I have accumulated quite a few jokes and memes about the joys of aging.. part one today and part two on Thursday. (Disclaimer we have not experienced any of the following symptoms as we are only spring chickens!)

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Living to 80…

I recently registered with a new doctor who insisted on a full work up. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him,” Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?”

“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either.”

Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

I said, “No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy.”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”

“No, I don’t,” I said.

He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t do any of those things.”

He looked at me and said, “Then why do you want to live to 80?

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – May 9th – 15th 2021 – 1960s hits, Grief, Green Kitchen, Health, Stories, Poetry, books, reviews and funnies


Welcome to the weekly round up with some posts you might have missed here on Smorgasbord.

I hope you are all well… I know that like us here restrictions are being lifted in many countries although In Ireland there is going to be a slow roll out depending on any upsurge in cases.

The big news here is that overnight on Thursday criminals hacked the health service which is now offline which has resulted in the cancellation of thousands of appointments and more seriously life-saving operations. The government stance is that they will not pay any ransom and so as of this moment it appears that we are at an impasse. We all know that these parasites are out there, but to do this when all countries and their populations are at their most vulnerable is heinous.  All I can do is wish them everything they wish upon others!

This means that despite assurances that the vaccination programme will be unaffected, it probably will be. So no idea when I will be getting my first…

On a brighter note, and thankfully there usually is one…the sun popped out periodically during the week and took some time off for some badly needed fresh air and a Vitamin D boost.

Also as always, I am very grateful to my friends and co-conspirators this week William Price King co-hosting the Breakfast Show with me with some more 1960s music, D.G. Kaye with her new May relationship column exploring the impact of grief on our lives, and some funnies to keep us smiling, Carol Taylor with The Green Kitchen… and if you love soft dinner rolls…dig in.. And last but not least Daniel Kemp who shared his special brand of humour a the Open Mic Night.

Fantastic and talented friends.

On with the shows from the week.

Chart Hits 1969 – Part One – Sly The Family Stone, Blood Sweat and Tears, The Rolling Stones and Bobby Gentry

May 2021 – The #Grief Process

May 2021 – Dinner Rolls, Chillies, Recycled Face Masks, Grow Spring onions, make Apple Cider Vinegar – Waste Not, Want Not.. 

Winter: Chapter Twenty-one – The First Christmas 

Tales from the Spanish Garden – Chapter One – The Guardians 

Two poems this week….

-#CrapseyCinquain -Existence by Sally Cronin 

#BadgerHexastich – Yearning by Sally Cronin

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Book Review – Free Ebook – #Cookery #Culture – Ένα γλυκό βιβλίapaki – A “Sweet” Book. Eat Dessert First Greece 

Past Book Reviews 2020 – #Mystery #Paranormal – Harbinger (Wake-Robin Ridge Book 3) by Marcia Meara 

Family Health A-Z – Allergies and Intolerances – Part Two – – #Dairy #Leaky Gut 

– CROSSROADS (Winds of love): Poetry and Prose by Jude Itakali 

#Historical #Romance Lubelia Alycea: One Hundred Years by J.E. Spina 

#Thriller Death Between the Tables (Old Manse Mysteries Book 2) by Alexa Bowie

The Click of a Pebble: Tryst with the Devil (Trilogy, The Children of Zeus Book 1) by [Barbara Spencer]

#Fantasy – The Click of a Pebble Tryst with the Devil (Trilogy, The Children of Zeus Book 1) by Barbara Spencer

Reluctant Medium (Rachel Blackstone Paranormal Mysteries Book 1) by [G G Collins]

#Psychic #Thriller Reluctant Medium (Rachel Blackstone Paranormal Mysteries Book 1) by G G Collins 

#Memoir D.G. Kaye, #Biography #Afghanistan Mary Smith, #Poetry D.L. Finn. 

#Humour – Let Marcia Meara lift your spirits.

#Humor/Humour by Leon Stevens 

carol bio

#Wine – Recent News from the World of Wine Forgery by Carol A. Seidl 

#BookReview – Life on Our Planet: My Witness Statement and a Vision for the Future by Sir David Attenborough by Jemima Pett 

Monday 10th May 2021 – #Poetry #Trees Rebecca Budd, #SnailMail Pamela Wight, #BookReviews Jan Sikes

Tuesday May 11th 2021 – #Review D.G. Kaye, #ReadingAloud Jennie Fitzkee, #DogBooks Jacqui Murray 

Wednesday 12th May 2021 – Filmreview Beetley Pete, #BookReview Olga Nunez Miret, #Gingercake Elizabeth Merry, 

May 11th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Brussel Sprouts and Holidays 

May 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Exodus and Mary Poppins 

– May 14th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – The Month of May and Chickens 

 

Thanks so much for all your support and encouragement…I hope you will join us again next week.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 11th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Brussel Sprouts and Holidays


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby was sent some great reminders of the last year and possible for some time to come!.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Off on your holidays….maybe at some point….

A travel agent looked up from his desk to notice an old lady and man peering in the shop window at the posters showing exotic locations around the world. The agent had enjoyed a very lucrative week and seeing the shabby nature of the couple looking in the window he decided to extend his luck to them.

He beckoned them into his office and sat them both down. ‘I know that it must be very difficult on a pension to spare money for a lovely holiday, so I am going to send you off to the Canary Islands for two weeks at my expense.’

He handed over two airline tickets and a voucher for a luxury room at a top resort.

About a month later the little old lady came into the travel agents to see him.

‘How did you enjoy your holiday?’ he asked.

‘The flight was wonderful and the room was absolutely lovely,’ she replied. ‘I have popped in to thank you. But one thing has puzzled me. Who was that old bloke I had to share the room with?’

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.