Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Christmas book promotions, music, humour and guests.


This week has certainly flown by with a few Mary Poppins moments with umbrellas in the rain and high winds. Just as well I have not got rid of that excess stone I was planning on misplacing before Christmas!

Do not take this as a free pass to do what you like eating wise over the festive season (well okay then . eat what you like)..but I am re-releasing my first book Size Matters in 2019 updated and revised to reflect new research and also my experience in the last 20 years as a nutritional therapist – I am going to do this via the blog by editing and updating each chapter on the blog in the first three months of the year. If you are thinking about getting fitter and eating healthier then you might like to take it one step at a time.

The first part of the book was my journal about how I got to the weight of 330lbs and the second part of the book is the programme that I designed to lose 150lbs. That is the bit that I will be revising and updating.

I have been featuring all the active authors in the Cafe and Bookstore since the middle of November with recent updates or first books in series. I have just scheduled the last one on 17th December… and there will be one more on 18th of December but that one will be my books and I have a couple of e-book giveaways on the day.

I did have an outing this week as the guest of Colleen Chesebro… and we had a lovely conversation about writing from the male perspective and inspirations.. if you have not been a guest of Colleen before.. it is well worth putting yourself forward. A great place to showcase your work and meet new people.

Conversations With Colleen: Meet Author, Sally Cronin

On Thursday the Christmas party season starts with the First Day of Christmas.. If you are still interesting in being a guest there are four spaces left for the 11th and 12th days of Christmas.. Want another chance to promote your books and take part.. here are the details.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/smorgasbord-christmas-promotions-the-twelve-days-of-christmas-party-guests-food-and-music-promotional-opportunity/

I am heading out today with a stand at the local Christmas Fair.. and the first sight of Santa Claus who will be arriving at 4pm. to day courtesy of the Coast Guard and RNLI.. ……….

Time to get on with the posts from the week that you might have missed and as always thank you for popping in and lending your support.  It keeps me motivated.

Paul Andruss has popped in to kick off party week… sharing his emotionally charged story of his most favourite Christmas gift ever….

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/08/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-christmas-guest-post-my-favourite-christmas-gift-ever-by-paul-andruss/

D.G. Kaye took us to the stunning island of Curacao and shares its history and the best places to stay, eat and swim.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/03/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-travel-column-with-d-g-kaye-welcome-to-curacao-lesser-antilles/

Carol Taylor came back to the food column with a wonderful post this week. A full Vegetarian menu – with starters, mains, sides and desserts.. delicious.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/smorgasbord-blog-christmas-celebrations-the-food-column-with-carol-taylor-a-christmas-vegetarian-menu/

Linda Bethea shares the tale of Willie Tharpe, who invited himself for Christmas, bringing his dogs and thousands of unwanted visitors.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-christmas-guest-post-flease-dont-come-home-for-christmas-willie-tharpe-by-linda-bethea/

Geoff Le Pard with a special rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…if this does not get you in the mood for the festive season…. then repeat several times.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/09/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-christmas-guest-post-poetry-twas-the-night-before-christmas-by-geoff-le-pard/

It is my 40th and I feel the need for speed…..and the music of M People, guest Annette Rochelle Aben and Elton John.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-1993-toyota-mr2-mk1-m-people-and-elton-john/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-shortstories-becoming-someone-by-anne-goodwin/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-mystery-murder-on-the-books-by-hl-carpenter/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-deadly-quotes-escaping-psychiatry-series-by-olga-nunez-miret/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/07/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-book-1-the-gift-legacy-secret-sky-re-release-by-j-p-mclean/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/07/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-mo-the-spotlight-tales-by-s-pearce/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/08/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-childrens-myrtles-game-by-cynthia-reyes-and-lauren-reyes-grange-illustrated-by-jo-robinson/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/03/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-mystery-thriller-series-n-a-granger-john-w-howell-don-massenzio/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-social-injustice-thriller-fantasy-with-yecheilyah-ysrayl-stevie-turner-and-fiona-tarr/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-fantasty-scifi-paranormal-elle-boca-deborah-a-bowman-richard-dee-and-audrey-driscoll/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-linda-bradley-christine-campbell-billy-ray-chitwood-and-angie-dokos/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/07/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-african-adventure-crime-history-scifi-with-lucinda-e-clarke-sue-coletta-jack-eason-and-david-r-grigg/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/08/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-mary-anne-edwards-diana-j-febry-judy-penz-sheluk-and-toni-pike/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/09/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-family-drama-historical-survival-claire-fullerton-william-luvaas-jacqui-murray-and-terry-tyler/

It is the time of year when coughs are quite common.. but it is important to know the difference between one associated with a common cold and one that has become chronic bronchitis.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/smorgasbord-health-column-a-z-of-common-conditions-bronchitis-by-sally-cronin/

It is that time of week when we get our syllables in a row or more in a format requested by Colleen Chesebro Poetry Challenge no. 113 – being the first week of the month we get to choose our own prompts… Frost and Laughter.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/smorgasbord-poetry-colleen-chesebro-tuesday-tanka-poetry-challenge-etheree-december-and-laughter/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-another-joke-from-sallys-archives/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-a-joke-from-sallys-archives/

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives


Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a joke or two..

Thanks again Debby you are hired…...

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now time for one of the jokes from my archives

Women versus Men . .

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. They were asked the following questions:

1. “How many of you love your husband?”

All of them raised their hands.

2. “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”

Some said today, a few said yesterday, and others couldn’t remember.

They were told to take out their cell phones and text to their husbands: “I love you, sweetheart.”

They were then instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the message each received in response to their message.

Below are the replies. Do your best to keep a straight face! Or not!

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s wrong?
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?

Thanks for joining us today and if you enjoyed yourself, why not spread the laughter around.. thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and another joke from Sally’s archives


Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a quickie or two…..

Thanks again Debby you are hired for the seaon…..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And a joke from my archives…especially for those who are scared of flying……

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

  • P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
  • S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
  • P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
  • S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
  • P: Something loose in cockpit.
  • S: Something tightened in cockpit.
  • P: Dead bugs on windshield.
  • S: Live bugs on back-order.
  • P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
  • S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
  • P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
  • S: Evidence removed.
  • P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
  • S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
  • P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
  • S: DME volume set to more believable level.
  • P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
  • S: That’s what they’re for
  • P: IFF inoperative.
  • S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
  • P: Suspected crack in windshield.
  • S: Suspect you’re right.
  • P: Number 3 engine missing.
  • S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
  • P: Aircraft handles funny.
  • S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
  • P: Target radar hums.
  • S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyric
  • P: Mouse in cockpit.
  • S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.

  • P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
  • S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

Thank you for dropping in today and if you have enjoyed please pass on the laughter. Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Christmas book promotions, Music, Humour, great food and fantastic guests.


I cannot believe that it is December and we are less than four weeks away from Christmas Day. I am on target to feature all the authors in the Cafe and Bookstore before the big day and I hope you will enjoy this week’s selection of gift ideas.. They will also be in the main menu in their directory and I will be sending that out on social media regularly.

Apart from that we have been sorting out our own Christmas. Usually David puts up our artificial tree which we have had for about 20 years, adds the lights and then I decorate. Last year because of getting ready for visitors, he actually decorated it and did such an amazing job, I have volunteered him to do it again. I will sit with a glass of Cava and admire his expertise.

Next week I have a Christmas fair locally and I am selling some of my books (not the weight loss one!) and homemade fudge. I am about to have a practice run… and will try not to eat too much of the first batch. I have downloaded a fail safe recipe from the Internet, which in my case usually just ends up as a fail….will keep you informed.

It is getting close to the wire for new books on the shelves but still have a couple of slots left for the week after next. So please let me know if you are in the Cafe and Bookstore and have a new release before Christmas.

Also I have 6 spots left for the Christmas party – Twelve Days of Christmas so please think about sending your 100 words about your best Christmas Gift Ever ASAP.. here is the link… and don’t forget it is another opportunity to promote your blog and books, even if you have already been in one of the promotions.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/smorgasbord-christmas-promotions-the-twelve-days-of-christmas-party-guests-food-and-music-promotional-opportunity/

There are a lot of posts to get through… so on with the show.

As always a huge thank you to my regular contributors William Price King, Carol Taylor and Jessica Norrie.

If you are new to book marketing… or would like to find out how to maximise your presence on social media.. you might like to pop over to Lisa Burton, whose author is Craig Boyack, and take advantage of some of the promotional opportunities offered by some seasoned bloggers. They include The Story Reading Ape, Colleen Chesebro, Sue Vincent, Annette Rochelle Aben and myself..

https://coldhandboyack.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/exposing-your-work-on-lisaburtonradio/

William Price King introduces us to the amazing Flutist, Herbie Mann

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-with-william-price-king-herbie-mann-flutist/

It is 1992 and fun and games in the Docklands in London… plus music from Roy Orbison.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/smorgasbord-music-column-1992-london-docklands-roy-orbison-request-from-jane-risdon-gloria-estefan/

Cranberries have a wealth of health benefits which I share, and this is followed by some amazing recipes from Carol Taylor that will make your mouth water.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/28/christmas-smorgasbord-health-cook-from-scratch-with-sally-cronin-and-carol-taylor-cranberries-bittersweet/

Jessica Norrie shares an interesting way to find some bestsellers: Ahem! Shortly I’ll have a significant birthday present from Transport for London of free travel on bus, tubes and some trains. If you’ve never tried people watching from the top deck of a London bus, put it on your bucket list. But I’ll need a book for those long underground rides. Where better to start a stockpile than rereading bestsellers published in the year of my birth? When I googled them I was surprised and rather moved to find how many I’d read and how they still resonate. (Do this for your own year of birth and see if the same thing happens. Obviously, I read them at appropriate stages in my life, not when they first appeared!)

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/01/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-literary-column-with-jessica-norrie-what-bestsellers-were-released-in-the-year-of-your-birth/

Joy encourages to dust of our shelved creative work, and also shares a short story that is very topical at this time of year.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-disinterrment-by-joy-lennick-shortstory-writing/

It is that time of the week when I throw my hat and my syllables into the ring prompted by Colleen Chesebro Poetry Challenge no. 112

This week the two prompt words are ‘Cold and Safe’ and we can only use synonyms… so I have opted for ‘Chill and Protected’.

Beast from the North

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/28/smorgasbord-poetry-colleen-chesebros-tuesday-poetry-challenge-112-etheree-beast-from-the-north/

The first of the two short stories this weekend was about Yves… a ladies man with a penchant for attracting the lost but loaded widows and divorcees in the South of France… but what happens when he falls in love for real?

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/01/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-yves-be-careful-what-you-wish-for-by-sally-cronin/

The second story is about Zoe.. who offers her services as a clairvoyant… with some surprising results.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/02/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-volume-2-zoe-looking-to-the-future-by-sally-cronin/

 

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/26/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-romance-humour-if-you-love-me-im-yours-by-lizzie-chantree/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/26/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-memoirs-brigid-p-gallagher-chuck-jackson-karen-ingalls-and-d-g-kaye/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-supernatural-marcia-meara-charles-e-yallowitz-stuart-france-and-sue-vincent/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/28/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-nonfiction-denise-ohagan-terri-webster-schrandt-dolly-aizenman-and-sacha-black/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-historical-wwii-mary-adler-m-c-v-egan-paulette-mahurin-and-marina-osipova/

 

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-fantasy-adele-marie-park-vashti-quiroz-vega-and-nicholas-c-rossis/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/01/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-historical-frank-parker-tony-riches-romance-shehanne-moore-and-lyn-horner/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/12/02/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-vampires-paranormal-scifi-dragons-anne-marie-andrus-mae-clair-janet-gogerty-and-paul-cude/

This week a look at dairy which does have many nutrients that the body needs, and for most of us… there is no problem in eating moderately (too much cheese and butter, whilst good for you, can put weight on). But for some eating dairy results in a number of digestive problems.

The subject of eating fat has had us all going around in circles for years. One minute you need to dump it all and the next it is poor carbohydrates on the chopping block. I have written a number of posts on the subject. Unhealthy fats: Industrially produced fats and Healthy Fats: Essential Fatty Acids and Good fats

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/smorgasbord-health-column-a-z-of-common-conditions-allergies-and-intolerances-dairy-leaky-gut/

Some new guest comedians with a wicked sense of humour about the drinks we embibe and some health posts as well..The Lords of the Drink

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedians-the-lords-of-the-drink/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-hot-flashes-and-chocolate-chip-cookies/

Thank you for visiting and all your support during the week, every week. It is much appreciated…

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye – Hot Flashes and Chocolate Chip Cookies


Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as I focus on getting the Christmas author promotions set up… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog has had you rolling in the aisles the last couple of weeks and today is no exception.. I have thrown in a joke at the end from the archives..

Please send any contributions to the funnies to sally.cronin@moyhill.com…

Thanks Debby -keep them coming.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now for that joke….

Heaven

An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed.

While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

“Get OFF” she said, “they’re for the funeral.

Thanks for dropping in today and hope you are leaving with a smile on your face, even if you didn’t get a chocolate chip cookie either!!! Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian’s – The Lords of the Drink


My guests today, The Lords of the Drink have a blog that celebrates drinking… it is a pastime that is enjoyed by billions around the world and has spawned millions of jokes on the subject. I have been known to embibe.. a little less as I have got older and more doddery, but there is nothing more pleasant that joining family and friends and sharing a bottle of wine.

I have also found some funnies in the archives on the subject…

I do appreciate that this is not always the case for some so please remember to drink responsibly.

A man walks into an old pub in Dublin, takes a seat at the bar and orders 3 pints. After he is served he takes sips from them in turn and when all 3 glasses are finally empty he orders 3 more. The barkeeper, who has been watching him, has never seen such a weird style of drinking and says to the man: “You know when you leave a beer for too long it goes flat, so they would taste better if you order just one at a time.”

“Well”, says the man at the bar. “You see I have 2 brothers who I used to drink with, but unfortunately one moved to America and the other one moved to Australia. Now we are on 3 different continents and we hardly ever see each other. So I drink a pint for me and 2 for my brothers. This way we at least try to keep this tradition alive and it feels like we’re still together.”

The bartender agrees that this is a beautiful explanation for his weird behaviour and the man becomes a regular at his bar. The other customers also get used to his ritual of ordering 3 pints and drinking them in turn.

But then one day “Mister 3 Pints” comes in and orders only 2 glasses. The whole pub gets silent and the by the time the man orders a second round of only 2 pints the barkeeper says:

“I’m terribly sorry as I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I just wanted to offer my condolances on your loss.”

The man looks puzzled, but then a smile breaks through and he says. “Thanks a lot, but everyone is fine really. It’s just that my wife had us join the Baptist church and I had to give up drinking. But my brothers are still Catholics, so it didn’t affect them.”

As a man is walking down the street he sees an old man sitting on the pavement just outside a pub, a fishing hat decorated with hooks and colorful floats on his hat and a fishing rod in his hand. However there is no river or lake anywhere near and his fishing line ends in a puddle of muddy water on the other side of the street.

“Oh that poor soul”, the man thinks to himself and says: “Hello good man. Why don’t you let me invite you to a drink in that pub over there?” The old man agrees and they sit down for a beer.

Since the situation is pretty awkward the guy who invited the old man doesn’t really know how to break the silence, so he just orders another few rounds of drinks. Finally he has gathered the courage to ask the old man: “And? Are they biting?”

The old man puts on a smile and says he can’t complain. Surprised by this answer his companion asks: “Really? So how many have you caught today?”

The old man takes a large sip from his beer and replies: “Including you? That would be eight I believe.”

A man comes home late at night and he is pretty smashed. His wife who was worried sick asks “Where the hell have you been?”

“The Golden Bar”, the man replies. “It’s an awesome place. They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer of course and even a golden urinal.”

The wife is not convinced that her husband is telling the truth, so she looks up the Golden Bar in the phonebook and calls them up.

“Do you really have golden chairs at your bar?”
– Absolutely ma’am.

“And what about golden glasses?”
– Indeed we do.

“And golden beers?”
– Most certainly.

“And even a golden urinal?”
– Hold on a minute ma’am… Johnny, I think I have a lead on the guy who peed in your saxophone.”

A woman wakes up at 4.30 in the night by some stumbling noise downstairs. She tries to wake up her husband, but the other side of the bed is empty. Rather scared she screams: “Who is that in our house?” To her relief it turns out that the cause of the noise is not a burglar, but her husband.

The noise continues for quite some time and the wife shouts: “What the hell are you doing down there?” The husband replies: “Oh nothing to worry about. I’m just trying to get a cask of beer up the stairs.” His wife gets pretty pissed off now and yells: “For the love of God, will you leave that down there.”

“I can’t”, the husband shouts back. “I drunk it.”

About The Lords of the Drinks

They say alcohol is bad. They say it’s harmful. They say you shouldn’t drink much. But we say: First of all alcohol is fun! That’s why we started this weblog in 2012 as a counterweight to all the negative attention alcohol gets in the traditional media.

We are Nikolay Nikolov from Bulgaria and Micky Bumbar from Holland. We met at the American University in the Bulgarian city of Blagoevgrad, obviously since we shared a hobby. Micky snatched the Alcohol Friendly Award (the award for the biggest drunk all through the year) at this university in 2012. A year later Nikolay took this prestigious award home. In all modesty we can say that both victories were deserved. Together we are the Lords of the Drinks, the two main writers of this blog although guest posts are very much apreciated.

On this weblog we bring you personal drinking stories, funny alcohol related facts and news, recipes for hangover cures, drinking games, scientific research on alcohol related matters, recipes for cocktails, drunk jokes, plenty excuses to drink with the party calendar and much more. If you cruise around this website you’ll find a whole different side to drinking than just the bad cases you normally read about in the news. Our motto is and will always be “Izbuhvam“, which is Bulgarian for “I explode”. No matter how dull the occasion, we’ll turn it into an awesome bacchanalia!

Now before we get labeled as alcoholics, we’d like to see ourselves as drunkards. There’s a difference. We drink hard, we drink like no tomorrow, but we never drink alone. Alcohol always tastes better when shared and it’s the ultimate aid to socialize and meet new people. So with everything you do, always keep that philosophy in mind. We don’t want to make anyone alcoholic, just very very drunk.

Connect to The Lords of the Drinks

Website :https://lordsofthedrinks.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelordsofthedrinks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lordsofdrinks

I hope you have enjoyed the funnies today and will share… thanks Sally

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Brussel Sprouts, Fire Ants, music, books, health, humour and a full guest list


Welcome to a round up of the posts from the week that you might have missed. And also a reminder of some of the Christmas Promotions coming up later in December.

The main one is a 12 Day party beginning on 13th of December until 24th December. I have some special guests appearing each day, in the form of contributors to the blog, and I am delighted that many of you are already signed up for one of the days. Out of the original 40 spots I just have 15 left. This is an opportunity to showcase your blog or books, even if you have already or will be featured in the other Christmas promotions. All I am looking for is 100 words (approx) about your favourite Christmas Gift ever… full details are here Twelve days of Christmas Party

I am also working my way through the Cafe and Bookstore and will be featuring every author on the shelves either with a New book on the shelves for Christmas or in a Buy a Book for Christmas feature.

The only thing that I need from you if you are in the bookstore is the link to any new releases between now and Christmas.

If you are a new author to the Cafe and Bookstore then email on sally.cronin@moyhill.com and I will let you know what I need. (it is FREE)

 

And here are the Christmas promotion posts so far…they will now go in a directory in the menu until the New Year.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/12/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-special-preorder-price-mistletoe-inn-by-jacquie-biggar/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/13/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-sci-fi-ya-tarkentower-by-daniel-scott-white/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/14/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-thriller-desperation-rules-the-day-by-colin-guest/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/17/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-the-worst-noel-a-juniper-junction-mystery-by-amy-reade/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-love-at-first-swipe-by-gareth-fosberry-onlinedating/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-broken-heart-attack-braxton-campus-mysteries-book-2-pre-order-99c-99p-until-november-25th-james-j-cudney/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-for-christmas-shortstories-after-ever-little-stories-for-grown-children-by-d-avery/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/12/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-children-victoria-zigler-jann-weeratunga-janice-spina-bette-a-stevens-and-gigi-sedlmayer/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/14/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-children-andrea-balsara-robbie-and-michael-cheadle-annabelle-franklin-and-jemima-pett/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/16/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-children-teens-ya-paul-andruss-m-j-mallon-hl-carpenter-darlene-foster-deanie-humphrys-dunne/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/17/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-rachele-baker-dvm-judith-barrow-c-s-boyack-and-pamela-s-wight/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/sally-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-fantasy-science-fiction-tina-frisco-d-wallace-peach-lorinda-j-taylor-and-teri-polen/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-poetry-ritu-bhathal-christy-birmingham-colleen-m-chesebro-natalie-ducey-and-dorinda-duclos/

The Story Reading Ape

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-poetry-agnes-mae-graham-annette-rochelle-aben-and-balroop-singh/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-short-stories-linda-bethea-sarah-brentyn-eric-halpenny-and-gregg-savage/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-short-stories-mary-smith-annika-perry-and-hugh-w-roberts/

My review for Legacy; Book Four Project Renova by Terry Tyler

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/25/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-buy-a-book-for-christmas-book-review-for-legacy-project-renova-book-four-by-terry-tyler/

Other posts in the week.

This week we take that ‘marmite’ of the vegetable kingdom, Brussel Sprouts and I showcase their many health benefits and Carol Taylor cooks them in several ways to delight your family.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/21/christmas-smorgasbord-health-cook-from-scratch-with-sally-and-carol-taylor-brusselsprouts-bitterly-healthy/

This week Linda Bethea gets up close and personal with feisty Houston residents.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-family-houston-fire-ants-and-murderers-by-linda-bethea/

Smorgasbord Short Stories from Volume 2- What’s in a Name

Walter is a scruffy customer, along with his dog at the local pub. Nobody seems to know his story…..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-walter-lost-and-alone-by-sally-cronin/

Xenia… two special family members never to be forgotten.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/25/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-volume-two-xenia-beloved/

This week our lives in 1991 and Always Look on the Bright Side of Life and Bohemian Rhapsody

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-1991-always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-and-bohemian-rhapsody/

Smorgasbord Poetry – #Etheree in response to Colleen Chesebro’s Tuesday Poetry Challenge

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/21/smorgasbord-poetry-colleen-chesebro-tuesday-poetry-challenge-no-111-celebrate-and-number-etheree/

This week a look at the difference between and allergy and an intolerance..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/smorgasbord-health-column-a-z-of-common-conditions-allergies-and-intolerances-christmas-can-be-a-challenge/

Guest comedian D.G. Kaye Debby Gies with more finds on the Internet and a joke from the archives.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-a-joke/

Guest standup comedian.. D.G. Kaye.. Debby Gies gets us in the mood for Thanksgiving

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-how-to-turk-the-carvey-and-quickies/

Thank you for dropping in today.. and don’t forget that there are a few places left for the Twelve Days of Christmas parties… and if you have a new book release between now and Christmas, please let me know – sally.cronin@moyhill.com

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye – How to Turk the Carvey and Quickies.


Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a quickie or two…..

Thanks again Debby you are doing a stand up job…...

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now for those Quickies…..

  • One good turn gets most of the blankets.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
    say, talk in your sleep.
  • Every morning is the dawn of a new error…..
  • A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
  • A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
  • Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
  • Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
  • Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
  • Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… please feel free to share.. thanks Sally.

Donations are gratefully received… please send your favourite funnies to sally.cronin@moyhill.com

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke..


Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some more funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a joke or two.

Thanks to Debby for sharing her foraging on the Internet.. I wonder how she finds time to write her very popular memoirs…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

A recent review for Words We Carry Very insightful read. on September 16, 2018

Once in a while you come across a book that really speaks to you. Reading ‘Words We Carry’ by D. G. Kaye was like having friends over for coffee and revealing our innermost secrets or speaking to your mentor about life and how to make it better. The author, who has natural psychology opened my eyes and made me ponder why I react the way I do to certain things or certain people. I enjoyed author, D.G. Kaye’s writing style––so friendly and warm. This book is well written and is easily one that can change someone’s life. I recommend this book to anyone who ever felt insecure, self-conscious or inadequate. An easy 5 star read.

Now for a joke from the archives

A Moral story.

It was a freezing cold day in the snow-covered steppes of Siberia… A young boy was walking along when he spotted a tiny bird being chased by a fox. The boy picked up the bird, and just then a horse came along and left a large deposit in the road.

The boy scooped out a hole in the deposit and carefully placed the bird in it. It was warm and it poked its head out of the hole and began to sing with joy. But the hungry fox was still lurking nearby and it pounced on the little bird and gobbled it up.

The moral of this story is two-fold. First, it is not always you enemies who drop you in it. And, second, if you are up to your neck in it, keep your mouth shut.

I hope that you have enjoyed today’s funnies and please feel free to share.. thanks again to Debby for her contribution as always.. and if you have favourite jokes or images you would like to share.. send them to Sally.cronin@moyhill.com or message me on Facebook.