Laughter the best medicine – Hippies, Beethoven and Natural Born Citizens!


Tina Frisco is an author who writes blog posts that off wise counsel to all of us making our way in this modern world. She also has a wicked sense of humour and she sent me these jokes last year and I think after 12 months it is time to repeat them.  You can find out more about Tina and her books at the end of the post.

I have added some of the funnies I have collected from around the various haunts.

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A man is looking through a cemetery when he hears some music. He looks around to see who is playing it but can’t see anyone. Searching for the source, he finally finds it coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:

Ludwig van Beethoven 1770-1827

Then he realizes the music is Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and is being played backward.

Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.By the time they arrive back at the grave, the Seventh Symphony is playing, also backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.When they return, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.The expert notices the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. By the next day, the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then, the graveyard’s caretaker ambles up to the group.

Someone asks him if he has an explanation for all of this. “I would have thought it was obvious,” he replied. “He’s decomposing.”

LIFE’S LAWS

1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the toilet.

2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.

15.Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

19.Law of Comparisons – Guns are a lot like parachutes, if you need one and don’t have one, you’ll probably never need one again.

Heaven help us all!

In a University Classroom, students were discussing the qualifications required to be Prime Minister of Canada.

The candidate must be a natural-born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

One young woman began ranting that the natural-born-citizen requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming Prime Minister. The class let her rant, and few jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

What WAS she thinking?

My thanks to Tina for sharing these funnies with us and here are her books and how to get in touch with her.

 

Books by Tina Frisco

A recent review for Plateau

Spiritually Moving and Uplifting on September 14, 2017

FIRST I must say that I loved this gentle little book. I devoured it in a single evening, so entranced by the story that I didn’t want to stop to read the inspiring quotes from Lynn V. Andrew’s Power Deck that began each chapter. Once I reached the end of the book I had to go back for the quotes, skimming each following chapter a second time.

NOW I must say that I have struggled with how I could possibly write a review — I’ve never read another book quite like it.

Other reviewers here have given you as much as you need to become familiar with the book’s “environment” – if I can call it that, introducing you to a few of the characters – so I won’t repeat similar content. But they can’t convey the deeply spiritual, uplifting essence of the book that, to me, is what makes it remarkable. Plateau never pontificates, but rather seduces the reader to come to his or her own spiritual realizations as the story unfolds.

I suppose the most impactful thing I can say is that I was infused with a sense of well-being when I finally put down my Kindle and turned off the light. I was in such a calm and totally relaxed positive state of mind that I transitioned easily and almost immediately into a deep sleep – a rare experience in my life.

Read all the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.com/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY

And on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY

Read more reviews and follow Tina on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6497599.Tina_Frisco

Connect to Tina via her blog and website: https://tinafrisco.com/

 

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Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Graveyard humour – Laugh while you can!!!


As we enter the realm of Halloween it is time to disinter humour from the darkside..it has certainly given me some ideas of what to put on my tombstone… this is a slightly revamped post from last Halloween.

halloweenA truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, and one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries! There are some fascinating things on old tombstones . . .

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903–Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.

In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.

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I hope you have enjoyed this journey to the darkside…. feel free to pass it on.. Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Dionne Warwick, Hurricanes and Archives.


Welcome to the weekly round up of posts that you might have missed and as always I am so grateful for the contribution of others to the blog which adds great content and a different perspective on life.

Exactly thirty years ago to the day, we were told on a weather forecast that high winds were expected overnight.. that particular weatherman never lived that down. On the Monday 16th of October, I was due to start my new job as Advertising Sales Trainer for a paper in South Woodford in London. It was great as it was just a ten minute walk from our house on the edge of Epping Forest. Overnight we certainly had high winds… it was a hurricane with winds up to 135 miles per hour and most of the South of England was devastated. On our estate ancient trees toppled and the next morning I had to climb over several to get down to the main street where the offices were. My first day on the job and apart from the receptionist who lived locally and had managed to get in and open up… I was the only one in the office for the day. On job training they call it.

Hurricane Ophelia has just dropped down by ten miles an hour and downgraded from a category 3 to category 2 which is a tropical storm. It is beginning to break up as it travels north and hits the current depression over us. It is going to make landfall on our west coast tonight which will take a beating especially in coastal areas. We are hoping that by the time it reaches us it will have lost even more power, but because we live in a rural location our overhead electricity and telephone lines are likely to suffer.  We are better placed than many who live in designated flood areas as the rain that will fall is going to fill the rivers rapidly.

If you don’t see me around for a couple of days you will know why.. If you are in the UK batten down the hatches as high winds will be hitting you tomorrow on the north west coast. Be safe.

I have scheduled you with some of your regular posts for the week to keep you entertained..

Time to get on with some posts that you might have missed this week…

William Price King Meets some Legends – Dionne Warwick the Early Years.

The start of a new series and we meet the wonderful iconic Dionne Warwick as she grows up with a gospel influence and rich musical heritage.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/william-price-king-meets-some-legends-dionne-warwick-the-early-years/

Writer in Residence – Pure by Paul Andruss

Thomas the Rhymer Paul Andruss

This week Paul Andruss shares the secrets from the leather tanning industry that is best written between meals. Some of the products used to provide you with soft kid gloves were picked up by collectors.. and a clue.. today we would be fined for not picking it up.. Pure is its name not its nature!

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/13/smorgasbord-reblog-writer-in-residence-pure-by-paul-andruss/

Smorgasbord Health – Cook from Scratch with Sally and Carol Taylor

This week wind free beans.. and not just baked, but a number of varieties created in her kitchen in Thailand for your pleasure.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/smorgasbord-health-cook-from-scratch-with-sally-and-carol-taylor-bean-12000-years-of-history/

I added a few more mushroom recipes to those Carol created a couple of weeks ago

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/cook-from-scratch-mushroom-soup-and-mushroom-chilli-carbonara/

Smorgasbord Health

With the Australia flu raising concern for its spread to the UK and the rest of Europe it is time to think about taking some precautions.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/winterising-the-body-immune-system-boosting-eating-and-recovery-plan/

Sunday Interview – Ultimate Bucket List

Delighted to welcome author Amy M. Reade to share her two top items on her Ultimate Bucket List..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/15/smorgasbord-sunday-interview-the-ultimate-bucket-list-owls-and-learning-greek-by-amy-m-reade/

Odd Jobs and Characters

My thanks to Adele Marie Park for sharing this week’s episode of Odd Jobs and Characters. I come to grips with a few rams… literally!  On a sheep farm in the mountains of Wales.

https://firefly465.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/odd-jobs-and-characters-sally-cronin/

Posts from Your Archives

I am so delighted that so many bloggers are sharing posts from their archives that deserve another audience.. MINE.. if you are interested in participating just send four links to sally.cronin@moyhill.com. I am looking for human interest, informative, entertaining and humour…if you would like to promote your books.. then still email but we will look at doing a FREE promotion instead.

Carol Taylor kicked off the week with the story of a stray mama dog and her pups and the her own impending new fur family member.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/posts-from-your-archives-properly-trained-man-can-be-a-dogs-best-friend-by-carol-taylor/

Pete Johnson took a look back at the 1950s and 1960s with a realistic look at the hardships that children and adults face in those post war years.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/posts-from-your-archives-a-la-recherche-du-temps-perdu-by-pete-johnson/

Deana Metzke shares the story of how her son, although still very young developed a taste for chapter books, eagerly looking forward to the next night’s installment.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/posts-from-your-archives-i-am-not-afraid-of-chapter-books-by-d-metzke/

Debby Gies with one of her informational posts on handling social media and solicitations by email. We all get them.. “I write posts very similar to your blog and feel that I could provide you with content”  or similar.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/posts-from-your-archives-7-tips-on-how-to-sleuth-out-email-solicitor-requests-by-d-g-kaye/

A new contributor to this series.. Bob Wertzler of Cabbages and Kings with a post about how we are all stories.. everything we do, think or feel is about creating a story.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/13/posts-from-your-archives-we-are-stories-by-robert-wertzler-of-cabbage-and-kings/

And a warm welcome back after a couple of months offline to Tina Frisco who shares wise words on how we can manage stressful and sometimes catastrophic events in our lives.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/14/posts-from-your-archives-problem-lesson-or-opportunity-by-tina-frisco/

Sally’s Cafe and Update

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-carol-balawyder-kim-cox-darlene-foster-and-sally-cronin/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/13/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-linda-g-hill-helen-jonesj-a-owenby-and-robbie-and-michael-cheadle/

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – New on the shelves

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-how-polly-became-a-pirate-by-jann-weeratunga/

Smorgasbord Book Promotion

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/smorgasbord-book-promotion-air-your-reviews-jaye-marie-alyssa-drake-john-howell-and-andrew-joyce/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/smorgasbord-book-promotion-air-your-reviews-viv-drewa-jessica-duchen-claire-fullerton-and-tina-frisco/

Media Training – Advertising for authors – Physical Watering Holes where readers gather.

This is the final post in this series – physical waterholes where you can meet your readers and sell books.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/14/media-training-for-authors-advertising-physical-watering-holes-where-readers-gather/

Personal Stuff

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/something-to-think-about-canadian-thanksgiving-day-and-a-chance-to-celebrate-four-years-of-blogging/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/some-personal-stuff-my-new-reading-chair-and-resolution-sally-cronin/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/13/paraskevidekatriaphobics-have-no-fear-friday-13th-is-lucky-for-some/

Smorgasbord Pet Health

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/smorgasbord-pet-health-kennel-cough-hygiene-is-just-as-important-for-dogs-as-is-not-sharing-food-and-water-bowls-3/

Humour

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/smorgasbord-laughter-academy-just-for-canadians-courtesy-of-wayne-barnes-of-tofino-photography/

A herd of dairy cows come rushing across to listen to a jazz band.. and then the unexpected happens…..

 

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/smorgasbord-afternoon-video-the-dairy-music-appreciation-society/

Thank you again for all your wonderful support this week and hopefully the winds will die down before they reach us.. if not see you on the other side.

Paraskevidekatriaphobics – Have no fear – Friday 13th is lucky for some….


 

I want to be careful here because I have yet to do the weekly shop which involves driving to the supermarket and home again.  However, I like to think that Friday 13th is not unlucky for me since I was born on Friday 13th of February.

Certainly it proved quite lucky for my mother as her first two births had been quite a bit longer than expected.  This time, my father was actually based ashore and was home at 4pm when my mother went into labour.

She was booked into a nursing home in Winchester so they piled into the car and started the 20 mile journey certain that they had several hours in hand.  The only hiccup was having to follow an army truck full of soldiers for several miles along windy country roads, but never one to miss an opportunity for a flirt, my heavily pregnant mother, by all accounts, spent the time waving to them as they blew kisses in her direction.

My father was quite pragmatic when it came to such harmless behaviour but was probably sweating and swearing by now, as he tried to find a safe place to overtake.

Eventually, they arrived at the nursing home and my mother was admitted only to find that, Sally Georgina was in a hurry and I popped out like a shelled pea (my mother’s words not mine) at 6pm.

There have been quite a few Friday 13ths in the last 64 years and thankfully to date I have found them to be causes for celebration not only of my birthday but events and surprises. (The Euromillions numbers are already picked)

Anyway, because of my personal interest, I have over the years spent some time researching the reasons behind the fears that we have for Friday 13th.  Several cultures have feared both the day and the number. Ancient Vikings were concerned that Loki the God of Mischief would make up the numbers around the dinner table and Hindus also did not like that number assembled for a meal. The Last Supper had 13 guests and the crucifixion took place on a Friday.

Since no-one was actually there to verify it is difficult to confirm that it was a Friday 13th that Eve tempted Adam with the apple, but I won’t let the facts get in the way of a good story.

Today many people will not have 13 guests around the table and in restaurants and hotels for example there will not be a 13th floor, table, bedroom etc. Not necessarily because the organisations are superstitious but because their guests are.  Hard to sell a hotel room number 13 on the 13th floor!

However, some ancient cultures revered the number including the Chinese and Egyptians.  They believed that 13 represented the afterlife but in a good way because that is where you would obtain your riches and reverence. (So much for my Euromillions win in this life then!)

Allegedly in more modern times male dominated religious orders objected to the number 13 since it was revered in Goddess worshipping, prehistoric cultures – and was therefore heavily associated with female power.  Girl power is not a 20th century invention, we simply reclaimed it.

Whatever the reasons and stories behind this distrust of the date, there is no doubt that millions of people around the world, in many cultures have definite views and extreme fears concerning their activities today.

However, in Spain it is not Friday that bears the brunt of the fear.. as it is Tuesday 13th which needs to be avoided.

However you can make it work to your advantage. My husband was happy that there were Paraskevidekatriaphobics.   He booked his driving test in 1980 and was given a date several weeks ahead, so he told them he would take any Friday 13th cancellations, and within a week he was driving away with a pass.

That is also a useful tip when trying to see a specialist in a more timely manner or scheduling an operation.. Friday 13th for some reason usually has free time slots!

I have no idea what today will bring.  But then when do we ever know, on any day of the week, on any date!

Anyway… the recommended viewing for tonight is of course!!!!!

 

Have a great day and perhaps to the Lottery and prove all those who fear Friday 13th that it is nonsense…..Sally

 

 

A celebration – Just for Canadians – Courtesy of Wayne Barnes of Tofino Photography


Wayne Barnes of Tofino Photography is kindly letting me use one of his magnificent images for one of my Haiku. Last Christmas he also sent some images that demonstrate how very hardy the Canadians are…. As it is Thanksgiving in Canada today I thought I would share the new image and Haiku along with some fun stuff.

Salmon leap the falls
A she bear waits patiently
As good anglers do

And an hour after posting this.. Wayne sent me an update… her patience was rewarded..

 

If you have not discovered Wayne’s fabulous photography site yet.. then here is the link to his latest post on the eagles that inhabit his blog.

https://tofinophotography.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/one-big-girl/

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My thanks to Wayne again for sending these through and Happy Thanksgiving Canada.

Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Cafe and Bookstore revamp, Archived Post bonanza and great guests.

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Welcome to the weekly round up and so pleased that there have been so many guests this week. Delighted too that the Posts from your Archives has proved so popular. Some wonderful posts this week from Pete Johnson, Debby Gies, Carol Taylor, Jennie Fitzkee and Deana Metzke with more bloggers joining next week with the start of their four week series.

My thanks as always to William Price King, Paul Andruss and Carol Taylor for their contribution to the blog with fabulous posts covering music, mystery and legends and food.

And, last but not least, thank you for your continued support, views, likes, shares and comments...

Here are the posts from the week that you might have missed..

William Price King Meets Some Legends – Sir Tom Jones The Finale

This week was the last part in the series featuring Sir Tom Jones and some of his hits from the last decade. Still going strong at 77, this dynamic performer clearly has a huge following across all age groups.  Here he is in 1977 with another performer who has crossed the decades with style.. Tina Turner and Hot Legs. Next week we begin a new series with that fabulous talent – Dionne Warwick.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/04/william-price-king-meets-some-legends-sir-tom-jones-career-and-hits-2007-to-2017/

Writer in residence – Paul Andruss

It was Paul’s birthday yesterday and he recently sent me a post called The Gift and rather than share later in the series, I decided to share on Friday in honour of his special day. Paul writes exclusive posts for Smorgasbord that take a huge amount of research and time to prepare and I am eternally grateful that he accepted the invitation to be writer in residence. I am sure if you missed this post you will enjoy heading over to read. Thought provoking and resulted in some interesting comments.

Thomas the Rhymer

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/06/smorgasbord-writer-in-residence-the-gift-by-paul-andruss/

Cook from Scratch with Sally and Carol Taylor and this week the health benefits of watercress and some wonderful recipes provided by Carol after creating in her kitchen in Thailand.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/04/smorgasbord-health-cook-from-scratch-with-sally-and-carol-taylor-watercress-more-iron-than-spinach/

The Ultimate Bucket List – the top two items on Luanne Castle’s bucket list… time travel…and read on to find out what else.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/08/smorgasbord-sunday-interview-the-ultimate-bucket-list-author-luanne-castle-with-time-travel-and-zeeland/

Posts from your Archives

So pleased at the response to this series which showcases posts from YOUR archives. Perhaps from the start of your blogging career when you may have had fewer followers and you would like to share again with MINE.. It is a way of not only promoting your blog but also if you have books to promote I will add those in too. Email me with four links to posts that you would like to share again. If you want to promote your books then we can do that separately. I am looking for posts that are about life, love, adventure or an experience that you feel made a difference in your life.  Email me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com

Here are this week’s Posts From Your Archives.

Carol Taylor with an entertaining anecdote about her father who despite requiring a walker for mobility managed to do some Cirque de Soleil moves!

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/02/posts-from-your-archives-its-not-what-you-look-at-that-matters-but-what-you-see-by-carol-taylor/

Pete Johnson of Beetley Pete with a life changing experience that all parents can relate to.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/posts-from-your-archives-pete-johnson-with-not-waving-but-drowning/

Deana Metzke shared her experiences with the Olympics and her young son’s reaction to watching on television

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/04/posts-from-your-archives-parenting-raising-readers-the-little-engine-that-could-and-the-olympics-by-d-metzke/

D.G. Kaye – Debby Gies with a post on a relationship issue that applies to both male and female partners. When one is receiving more attention and success than the other it can require careful thought and management.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/posts-from-your-archives-5-indicators-your-partner-may-feel-insecure-with-your-success-and-how-to-rectify-by-d-g-kaye/

Jennie Fitzkee with reflections on the natural and unaffected conversation with young children

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/08/posts-from-your-archives-lunchtime-conversations-in-the-classroom-its-important-by-jennie-fitzkee/

New Series – Guess Who I Bumped Into – I shall be doing my usual browse through my readers and will share a blogger each week who is new to me and who I think you might like to meet too. This week  author Peter Davidson who has published 28 books and has just begun a blog.. Marital Advice to my Grandson.. very entertaining.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/new-series-guess-who-i-just-bumped-into-author-peter-davidson-and-marital-advice-to-my-grandson/

Book Promotions – Air your Reviews – A chance to show case your most recent reviews.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/smorgasbord-book-promotion-air-your-reviews-judith-barrow-and-vashti-quiroz-vega/

Pure Trash Bette Stevens

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/smorgasbord-book-promotion-air-your-reviews-paulett-mahurin-teagan-geneviene-and-bette-a-stevens/

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore Updates – New Releases and Reviews

N.B. The cafe and bookstore has had a facelift and over the coming weeks I will be increasing the number of book covers displayed and will also be including and extract from the most recent review for one of those books. The aim is to encourage readers to click the review link and end up in the buy page… I hope it helps.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/02/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-joyce-k-gatschenberger-john-w-howell-and-annette-rochelle-aben/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/06/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-update-jane-dougherty-mary-smith-and-lucy-brazier/

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore New on the Shelves – New authors on the shelves of the Bookstore… if you would like to be featured then please email me sally.cronin@moyhill.com

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-come-back-by-melissa-maygrove/

Odd Jobs and Characters – hosted by author Lyn Horner – My odd jobs that inspire my stories and characters.

This week I get to grips with a sword wielding champagne magnet and fall in love – not a bad day’s work! https://lynhorner.com/2017/10/02/special-guest-sally-cronin-the-odd-jobs-gal-swashbuckle-and-romance/

Media Training for Authors – the series continues with a look at the some of the online watering holes where readers gather. There are several out there and once you get started you can explore others that might suit you better but achieve the same result. Bringing you together with readers and reviews.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/07/smorgasbord-media-training-for-authors-advertising-gather-around-the-right-waterholes/

Moyhill Publishing – Update.

Now that the house and garden renovations are nearing the end (garden weather dependent!) Moyhill Publishing is up and running again and we have been working quietly in the background for the last couple of months. We have just received a wonderful testimonial and I have updated some of the details and covers.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/moyhill-publishing-working-with-indie-authors-established-2004/

Health – that time of year when we need to make sure we are making dietary and lifestyle changes to boost our immune system.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/02/smorgasbord-health-2017-winterising-your-body-influenza-the-opportunistic-pathogen/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/smorgasbord-health-2017-cook-from-scratch-snacks-and-dips-for-your-guests/

Smorgasbord Pet health – Hip Dysplasia – get to know your puppy’s relatives.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/smorgasbord-pet-health-hip-dysplasia-a-good-reason-to-meet-you-puppys-relatives/

Humour

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/02/smorgasbord-laughter-academy-some-gender-specific-nouns/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/afternoon-video-rewind-abstract-art-by-a-mammoth-talent/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/04/smorgasbord-laughter-academy-more-observations-on-life-from-cowboys-and-cats/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2017/10/06/smorgasbord-laughter-academy-dog-language-and-other-canine-behaviours/

Thank you once again for dropping and as always your feedback is very welcome. 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Dog Language and other canine behaviours.


It is Friday and time to let our hair down with a few visual aids.  Whilst the first one is cute, it is actually quite an important infographic that identifies your dogs body language..

And then there is this.

 

 

And completely unrelated because it made me laugh..

Have a great weekend…. don’t do anything that I wouldn’t.. Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Reblog – Odd Jobs and Characters – The Odd Jobs Gal – Swashbuckle and Romance hosted by Lyn Horner


Very grateful to author Lyn Horner for hosting this week’s episode of Odd Jobs and Characters.. More about Lyn and her books after the extract. I hope you will head over and check out the rest of the post on Lyn’s blog.  Thanks Sally

Last week I wrote about my cross country journey of many hours by train, to reach a hotel in the heart of the Snowdonia National Park in Wales. My time there was filled with adventures, and in this post I would like to introduce you to a couple of memorable guests.

To spice things up a little, and since I am the guest of an award-winning romance author, I have included a little love interest.

Snowdonia National Park; wikipedia creative commons; photo by Mike Peel

The hotel boasted an award winning restaurant which overlooked the Mawddach estuary. In the summer months in particular, guests could eat outside on sunny days and evenings, enjoying the spectacular mountains that dominated the landscape. This attracted international visitors as well as those closer to home, as well as the rich and famous. This included Denis Thatcher, husband to the newly appointed prime minister, Maggie Thatcher, and several actors and BBC television presenters who used our hotel as a base when filming in the area.

One lunch in particular stands out in my mind as it involved the head of one of the most prestigious Champagne houses.

One of my boss’s best friends was an importer and businessman in the area, and he would frequently drop in for lunch with his clients. Normally when my boss and his friends had lunch there was a fair amount of alcohol involved, and I would be kept busy bringing bottles of wine and spirits out to the table on the terrace. The guest that day was the head of one of the largest Champagne houses who was on a business trip to Wales. He had brought some bottles of the really good stuff with him. Pre-chilled and stored in a special case in the trunk of his car.

Wine flowed and the trio enjoyed lunch which included our specialty lobster dish. Our French guest left the table for about 5 minutes and arrived back with a sword in a very ornate scabbard. He asked me to line up the remaining two full Champagne bottles on the stone balustrade of the terrace. Bearing in mind the amount of alcohol consumed by this time, it was with some trepidation that I did as requested, and then stood back; well out of the way.

Please head over and read the rest of the episode on Lyn Horner’s blog: https://lynhorner.com/2017/10/02/special-guest-sally-cronin-the-odd-jobs-gal-swashbuckle-and-romance/

Lyn Horner’s latest release Beguiling Delilah: Romancing the Guardians Book Six which was published in July, is receiving great reviews.

About the book

He’s a Navajo sworn to bring her to America;
She’s a sexy genius in a race with him across France

Delilah Moreau, the glamorous French Guardian, possesses a miraculous mathematical talent that provides her a privileged life, but it can’t give her what she truly wants: lasting love. Leon Tseda, a Navajo whose homeland serves as a hidden gathering place for the Guardians, vows to bring Delilah to safety, thwarting thugs sent to capture her and the valuable scroll she guards. Opening in Paris, the story whisks the pair in a life-and-death chase across France to Nice and Monte Carlo on the breathtaking Côte d’Azur.

Both Delilah and Leon have lost loved ones, and they’re no longer youngsters, but they are not too old for a second chance at love. Their journey is fraught with danger, excitement and steamy, mature romance. Will it lead to love – if they live long enough?

The series so far: There are seven Guardians, each possessing a psychic gift and a precious scroll containing a secret prophecy handed down from ancient Irish seers. Not to be revealed until mankind is ready to listen, the prophesies are in danger of being seized by vicious “Hellhounds” who want to use them for their own evil ends.

One of the recent reviews for the book

I loved this book for several reasons. The biggest reason was the characters. It was refreshing to read about characters closer to my own age rather than sweet young things in their twenties. Delilah is a mathematical genius and a business woman. Pairing her up with a rugged American Indian couldn’t have been easy. But Lyn pulled it off with flying colors. They weren’t shy about expressing their extreme differences but maturity gave them the advantage of the wisdom of how to overcome those differences and still enjoy a romantic relationship that would last a long time. But have to say, having a Leon was easy to fall for. He’s proud and protective at the same time and he knew a good woman when he saw her.

Another reason I really enjoyed the book is the French location. I’ve visited the settings in this book and it was fun to revisit them through this book as the Hell Hounds (bad guys) chase them through the French countryside to gain access to the secret scrolls Delilah protects. With each of her books in this series, Lyn takes us to a new world location and it keeps this series fresh. I recommend that fellow readers read this entire series for better understanding but I’m certain none will be disappointed. Each book gets us closer to the secrets and the big battle that is sure to happen when the Hell Hounds, descend to steal the secrets along with the power of the knowledge they contain. Can’t wait!

Read all the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Beguiling-Delilah-Romancing-Guardians-Book-ebook/dp/B073XPVHSP

A selection of other books by Lyn Horner

Read the many reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.com/Lyn-Horner/e/B004CY506Y

Read more reviews and follow Lyn on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4639926.Lyn_Horner

Connect to Lyn via her website: http://lynhorner.com

You can find all the other episodes in the series in this directory: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/sallys-odd-jobs-and-characters/

Smorgasbord Laughter Academy -More observations on life from cowboys and cats.


Some bits and bobs today….

THE HENPECKED HUSBAND

A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss.”

The man was on fire with enthusiasm and couldn’t wait to try the doctor’s advice! He rushed home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, “From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes.

Tonight, I’m going out with the boys and you’re going to stay home where you belong. And another thing…you know who’s going to comb my hair, iron my pants, Polish my shoes and tie my tie?”

“I certainly do,” said his wife calmly,

“The undertaker.”

 

Some of life’s observations

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me … they’re cramming for their final exam.

 

An Old Ranchers advice

  • Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
  • Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
  • Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
  • A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
  • Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.
  • Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
  • Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
  • Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
  • It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
  • You cannot unsay a cruel word.
  • Every path has a few puddles.
  • When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
  • The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen, anyway.
  • Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
  • Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin ‘.
  • Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
  • The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.”
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
  • Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
  • If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
  • http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/archives/humerous/humorous_28.htm

Thanks for popping in and please feel free to share the smiles…. thanks Sally