Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 22nd 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Variety and Icelandic Nights


Welcome to the Laughter Lines where Debby shares some gems she has discovered on her travels and I air some jokes old and new.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord July 2021 – The Universe Brings Us Kindred Spirits

Now something from Sally

First Aid Course

At the weekly meeting of the Women’s Institute, one of the members was enthusing about the recent First Aid course she had attended. ‘It was a lucky thing that I went on that course,’ she said. ‘I was coming down the High Street yesterday when I heard a big crash behind me. I looked round and there was this poor chap who had been knocked down by a taxi. He was covered in blood, and he looked to have a broken and a compound fracture of the leg – and possibly a fractured skull. And then I remembered what I had learned on my First Aid course. So I bent over and put my head between my knees to stop myself from fainting.’

A magnificent Feat…

A guy came ashore outside Calais having swum the Channel in record time. There was a big crowd waiting for him and one of the Frenchmen said ‘Magnifique! You have performed a great foot!’

‘You mean feat, don’t you?’ said the swimmer.

‘Mon Dieu!’ exclaimed the Frenchman. ‘You ‘ave swum both ways?’

Quite the alibi needed.

There was a big murder trial in Iceland recently. At one point the counsel for the prosecution is alleged to have asked a witness.

‘Will you tell the court where you were on the night of 10th November to the 6th of March!’

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – June 27th – July 3rd – #Celebrations, #Music Al Green, PR for Authors, Health, Reviews, New Books and Funnies


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope everyone is well despite the rising cases of Covid…our cases are on the increase here in Ireland too and not sure that is going to impact the lifting of restrictions in coming weeks. Not that we will be sunning ourselves on the beach for the next ten days.. but the grass is staying lovely and green this ‘summer’!

But today I would like to focus on the positive as one of our long term supporter of the blog and resident in the Cafe and Bookstore, Judith Barrow has been shortlisted for The Rhys Davies Fiction Award for The Memory.. a book that I can highly recommend – my review

This prestigious award is part of Wales Book of the Year People’s Choice Award 2021 and is dependent on public votes. It is very easy.. all you have to do is click on The Memory and your vote is counted.

Here is a screenshot of the listing of Judith’s book… and below is the link to the page where you will find the voting panel for the books… I hope you will head over to support this amazing author and friend to so many. Just wonderful to see Judith receive the recognition she deserves..

Here is the link for the rest of the article…please take just a minute of your time to head over to cast your vote – thanks Sally: Wales Book of The Year 2021 – Article and Voting panel

And I know many of you will be celebrating July 4th this weekend and I hope you have an amazing time and are able to meet up with friends and family

Independence Day » Free animations , animated gifs

My thanks to William Price King, Debby Gies and Malcolm Allen for their posts this week and to you for your support, likes, shares and comments..

On with the show..

Chart Hits 1972 Part Two – Staple Singers, Al Green, Don McLean, America 

Volume One – David – In Remembrance 

Chapter Eight – The Goose and the Lost Boy by Sally Cronin 

#Military #Romance The SEAL’s Temptation: Wounded Hearts- Book 7 by Jacquie Biggar 

Smorgasbord Book Reviews Rewind – #Thriller #Sci-fi- The Hitman and the Thief by Richard Dee 

Smorgasbord Book Reviews Rewind – #Fantasy #Adventure – Voyage of the Lanternfish by C. S. Boyack 

#Haiku with a twist 

Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook 2022 (Writers' and Artists') by [Bloomsbury Publishing]

Part Five – Who else might your Public Image impress?  

The patter of tiny paws!  

Home Remedies for Bruises

Bruises and when to check them out 

#Fantasy Lorinda J. Taylor, #Memoir Pete Springer, #Historical J.E. Spina 

#Historical #Paranormal Roberta Eaton Cheadle, #Metaphysical James J. Cudney and Didi Oviatt, #Poetry Natalie Ducey 

#Fairystories D.L. Finn, #Vaudeville Elizabeth Gauffreau, #Historical Andrew Joyce 

#Romance Jacquie Biggar, #Fantasy C.S. Boyack, #Romance Lizzie Chantree 

#Invitation Beetley Pete, #Doglove D.G. Kaye, #FamilyHistory Antoinette Truglio Martin 

Tuesday June 29th 2021 – #Luck Suzanne Craig-Whytock, Book Reviews Vashti Quiroz-Vega, #Funnies The Story Reading Ape 

Wednesday 30th June 2021 – #CoverReveal Sarah Brentyn with Marcia Meara, #Review Jacqui Murray, #Inspiration Rebecca Budd 

#Romance #Mystery – Secrets, Lies & Alibis (Wounded Hearts Book 8) by Jacquie Biggar 

#Comingofage #Crimethriller – Just Before Sunrise by Carol Balawyder 

#Scifi #Crime – Falling and Uprising by Natalie Cammaratta 

#Contemporary Anne Goodwin, #Fantasy D.Wallace Peach, #Crime #Thriller Fiona Tarr 

#Chocolate Robbie and Michael Cheadle, #Poetry D.L. Finn 

June 29th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Reading and Trivia 

July 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Fitted Sheets and Oddities 

– July 2nd 2021 – Malcolm Allen – Enunciation and Beavers 

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you have a great weekend, particularly those of you celebrating July 4th… Look forward to seeing you again next week.  Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Open Mic Night – May 21st 2021 – Guest Malcolm Allen – Wooden Horses and Editors..


Delighted to welcome Malcolm Allen again to the Open Mic Night …. Malcolm regularly sends us funnies from Australia and delighted to pass them on.

 

   Thanks to Malcolm for keeping us entertained…more from him soon

Malcolm Allen’s latest book in print and Kindle

About the book

This is the third book by the author, following publication of his two autobiographies ‘From Birth to Perth – Memoirs of a Nomad’ in August 2013 and ‘World Turned Upside Down – More Nomadic Memoirs’ published in June 2018. This third book in the nomadic series, is a travelogue of the author’s journeys around the world. He shares both his travel experiences and his views on various subjects, with his usual frankness and humour. It’s a tale of the traveller as he moves by air, land and sea with assorted companions. The world of travel has changed the lives of many and continues to delight and surprise the author each time he packs his luggage and passport. As a fellow author, Michael Palin so eloquently said: ‘Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote. I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life.’

One of the recent reviews for the book

Mr. Ian M. Smith 5.0 out of 5 stars A Nomad who really Entertains Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 January 2021

The author has already written his autobiography in two volumes and that is quite a story. He is much travelled and, in this new book, he gives us the benefit of his travels in a novel way. Instead of using a chronological framework, Allen uses an alphabetical format interposing memories of places he’s visited with a miscellany of anecdotes that keep you entertained.

There is plenty of humour and I’ve given the book five stars because of its readability. It’s a winning combination of real world travelogue that puts you right there with the author, and anecdotal humour that will make you chuckle (as well as groan at some of the quips). The result is a book that you will not want to put down. If you enjoy Bill Bryson, you will enjoy Malcolm Allen. He has taken a novel approach to non-fiction that is both entertaining and highly amusing. I now feel that I’ve really been to some of the places that I’ll never get to in person and that must be the highest accolade for a book that is much more than a travelogue.

Buy the book: Amazon US And:Amazon UK – And: Amazon AU

About Malcolm Allen

The author was born in London UK and experienced a challenging childhood, leaving school with no academic qualifications at the age of 15. He had mixed fortunes in his early working days but managed to secure a job in the banking industry at the age of 19. During a period of 32 years he enjoyed a demanding and successful career in London, the pinnacle of which was becoming a Company Director at the age of 37. Following a life changing experience in November 1998 he emigrated to Perth, Western Australia in September 2001, relocating to his current home in Melbourne, Australia in November 2015.

Thanks for dropping in today and I know Malcolm would love your feedback.. thanks Sally

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up 11th April -17th April 2021 – Mystery, 1960s Hits, Relationships, Green Cooking, Reviews, Stories and Humour


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

Weather wise it has been a lovely week so much so that after the last frost (hopefully) I stripped out all the pots in the front and back of the house two days ago. This morning I went to a cash and carry supplier locally who also happens to have a garden centre at the rear of the store. I got some potting compost and 20 geraniums and dahlias as well as three hanging baskets of pansies. This is phase one as I would like to get some of the bigger plants such as two more hydrangeas and an Irish magnolia tree. I will share some pictures when finished.

I do have a love story to share. It all began with the mystery of how this happened to my car at the beginning of the week.

We were trying to work out who was messing with my car and we surmised it was not being used as bombing practice by crows, as the design was too delicate. However, when I was emptying the flower pots along the wall of the house, I looked up and could see through the passenger window and across the car to the drivers side.

There was the culprit, a blue tit hovering in front of the wing mirror, singing and kissing the glass then retiring to perch ass outwards on the window ledge, having a poop and then back to more romancing.

I sat on my garden stool and watched as the performance repeated over and over and then he flew off to sit on the fence. At this point another tit flew up to sit beside him, clearly with love on its mind, but it was sent packing and my pooper flew back to kiss and flirt with his image in the mirror who seemed to be as excited as he was by the way this romance was going.

He had decorated both sides of the car and besmirched the two mirrors with his kisses and clearly was not going to be looking anywhere else for a mate . To save my paintwork and his sanity, we have now retracted the mirrors when parked in the drive. Unrequited love or narcissism, we hope that he will now accept that he must find love in the real world.  I am sure that this charmer will find true love soon if he does not find someone elses car mirrors!

On another note…I am sure that like the other blue tits in the garden he has been availing himself of the plentiful bird feed I leave out each day…judging by the amount of poop he should cut back a little!

Image Oldiefan Pixabay.com

My thanks to William Price King, Carol Taylor, Debby Gies and Daniel Kemp for their usual amazing contributions. The blog would not be the same without them.

Also thank you for dropping and all the ongoing support during the week.. it keeps me motivated…

The Breakfast Show with William Price King and Sally Cronin – Chart Hits 1967 – Part One 

D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – Rewind – Know when it’s time to go – When giving becomes one-sided 

-April 2021 – #Pretzel Bread, #Onions, #TomatoKetchup, #Japanese Wood Production. 

Summer: Chapter Thirteen – Trouble in the Rose Garden 

Chapter Fourteen – Summer – The Rescue Mission 

#Shortstories – Sharp as a Serpent’s Tooth: Eva and Other Stories by Mandy Haynes 

Past Book Reviews 2020 – #Mystery #Paranormal A Boy Named Rabbit (Wake-Robin Ridge Book 2) by Marcia Meara 

– Past Book Reviews 2020 – #Historical – The Last Pilgrim by Noelle Granger. 

Tanka Tuesday Challenge – Double #Etheree – Hope by Sally Cronin 

Family Health A-Z – Arthritis (Rheumatoid) by Sally Cronin 

#Thriller Ted Myers, #Mystery Nola Nash, #YA #Magic Doug Parker 

#YA #Adventure – Amanda in New Mexico: Ghosts in the Wind Book 6 by Darelene Foster 

#Fantasy – The Sorcerer’s Garden by D. Wallace Peach 

Demoniac Dance (Goblin series Book 2) by [Jaq D. Hawkins]

#Fantasy – Demoniac Dance (Goblin series Book 2) by Jaq D. Hawkins 

#Memoir – P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy by D. G. Kaye 

New Book on the Shelves – Pre-Order -#Crime – I Am Mayhem: The Mayhem Series: #4 by Sue Coletta 

#Poetry Annette Rochelle Aben, #autobiography Lucinda E. Clarke, #Poetry Anita Dawes, #Mystery Sharon Marchisello 

#Bookreview – The First Actress: A Novel of Sarah Bernhardt by C. W. Gortner – Abbie Johnson Taylor 

– Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Start of Construction of Mount Rushmore in 1927 by John. W. Howell

#Interview – TV Scriptwriter tells all – Lisa Holdsworth with Leslie Tate 

#Anniversary Jessica Norrie, #Wisdom Staci Troilo, #Bookoffer Doug Parker, K.Lewis Adair 

#Gardening Greta Burroughs, #Review – Roberta Eaton Cheadle with Charles #Update Mary Smith 

#Guestpost C.S. Boyack, Joan Hall, #Funnies The Story Reading Ape, #Blogging Hugh Roberts, #Offer Leon Stevens 

April 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Selective Hearing and Writing Humour 

May be an image of cat and text that says "WHEN YOUR CHILD INHERITS YOUR CHARACTER, AND NOW YOU HAVE A MINI TOXIC VERSION OF YOURSELF."

April 15th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Genetics and Groaners 

Mid-week boost – Minimum Wage and Amazon Reviews…

April 16th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Treasure and Donkeys! 

 

Thanks very much for dropping by and I hope you will join me again next week.. thanks Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – April 15th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Genetics and Groaners


Welcome to laughter lines. We will be sharing some of our favourites from the archives over the next few weeks.

May be an image of cat and text that says "WHEN YOUR CHILD INHERITS YOUR CHARACTER, AND NOW YOU HAVE A MINI TOXIC VERSION OF YOURSELF."

May be a meme of cat and text that says "When you enter a room and forget what you wanted to do"

May be an image of text that says "WHEN YOU KINDA WANT ABS BUT YOU KINDA WANNA EAT 17 DONUTS AND 3 LARGE PIZZAS"

May be an image of text that says "ONE MINUTE YOU'RE YOUNG AND WiLD...THE NEXT MINUTE YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT AIR FRYERS, BLENDERS AND CROCK POTS."

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally passed on by my sister Diana…

Groaners

  •  Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
  • .What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
  •  Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
  • Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
  • Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
  • A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
  • I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
  • I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
  • My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
  • Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
  • Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
  • When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
  • Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
  • I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
  • I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
  • I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
  • What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
  • I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

 

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – April 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Selective Hearing and Writing Humour


Welcome to laughter lines. We will be sharing some of our favourites from the archives over the next few weeks.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally. Wry Writing Humour

A writer comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is–”

“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

Pen names

Neither a Borrower ……………Nora Lender Bee
Holmes Does it Again ………..Scott Linyard
Cloning …………………………….Ima Dubble
Inflammation, Please ………….Arthur Itis
House Construction ……………Bill Jerome Home
Leo Tolstoy ……………………..Warren Peace
The French Chef ……………….Sue Flay
Why Cars Stop ………………….M. T. Tank

Aspirations

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for WordPress writing updates to the Classic Editor!


Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 4th – 10th April 2021 – Community, Dusty Springfield, Acne, Cravings, Book Reviews, Humour


Welcome to the round up with posts that you might have missed during the week.

First some sad news that most of you will have already seen. Debby Gies (D.G. Kaye) has been a contributor to the blog with the Travel and Relationship Column for over three years, but has been a wonderful supporter of the blog and friend since 2014.

As many of you will know, Debby has been taking a break from her own blog and also her regular posts here as she cared for her husband in the last few weeks. George passed away earlier this week and the funeral was yesterday. The service was live-streamed and a number of us attended but we wish we could have been there to offer a more tangible support.

Debby has appreciated your kind thoughts and wishes over the last few weeks and I am sure you join me in sending our love and condolences… never has this writing community of ours been so important and needed.

RIP lovely ‘G’

Here is Debby’s Facebook Page

On the home front there has not been a great deal happening. Allegedly 64 – 69 year olds will be able to book their vaccination from April 16th and we shall see how that goes. At least now the cold snap is over for the time being we have been able to spend some time in the garden, and for the first time this year we had the weather to do the winter clear up.

As always I am very grateful to William Price King for his contributions which go back 7 years and I have learnt so much about all genres of music from his wonderful series on musicians, singers and composers. We are having a lot of fun with the Breakfast Show and so pleased that it is bringing back memories of the 1960s for so many of you.

Thanks to a new contributor to the blog – Malcolm Allen is an author who my husband David has worked with for several years and lives in Australia.. He sends a great selection of funnies to us regularly and I am now passing them along to you. You can find out more about Malcolm’s latest book if you click on the link at the end of the posts under Laughter Lines Extra..

Thank you as well for you ongoing support and wishing you a lovely weekend.. thanks Sally

Here are the posts from the week…

The Breakfast Show with William Price King and Sally Cronin – Chart Hits 1966 Part Two 

D.G. Kaye Explores The Realms of Relationships – #Friendships – Keeping them Healthy 

Chapter Eleven – Summer: The Foxes by Sally Cronin 

The Foxes Part Two – Chapter Twelve – The Storyteller to the Rescue 

– Tanka Tuesday Challenge – #Senryu – Scepticism 

#Musicians #Covid – Pause, Play, Repeat:The real impact of Covid-19 on musicians by Sammy Stein Reviewed by William 

Past Book Reviews 2020 – #Mystery – Frozen Stiff Drink: A Kellan Ayrwick Cozy Mystery (Braxton Campus Mysteries Book 6) by James J. Cudney 

Past Book Reviews 2020 – #1920s #Familysaga – Telling Sonny by Elizabeth Gauffreau 

#YA D.L. Finn, #Shortstories Mandy Haynes, #Vampires Susanne Leist 

#Children’s Jude Lennon, #Poetry Elizabeth Merry, #Poetry Marlene Mesot 

#Historical V.M. Sang, #Myths Barbara Spencer, #Memoir J.Q. Rose 

#Reviews D.Wallace Peach, #BlackHumour Jacqui Murray, #Haddock New Vintage Kitchen 

Tuesday 6th April 2021 – #Tarot Jan Sikes, #BananaKoftas Carol Taylor, #Funnies The Story Reading Ape 

Wednesday April 7th 2021 – #Limericks Esther Chilton, #Humour Charles Yallowitz, #EggPlant Lisa’s Food Blog 

Thursday April 8th 2021 – #Review by Elizabeth Gauffreau, #Challenge Antoinette Truglio Martin, #FREE Book Daniel Kemp 

What causes your cravings? – Part Four – Coal, Dirt and other strange stuff 

Family Health A-Z – Acne – Teenage and Adults 

Fiction In A Flash Challenge Prompt Week #13 – The Key to Unlock the Mystery by Miriam Hurdle 

Words, Wonderful Words…by Joy Lennick 

Amanda in Malta: The Sleeping Lady (An Amanda Travels Adventure Book 8) by Darlene foster 

Share an Excerpt 2021 – #Family – Brody Cody and the Stepmother from Outer Space by Toni Pike. 

#Poetry – Lines by Leon : Poems, Prose, and Pictures by Leon Stevens 

#Scifi #Cats – Fluffy’s Revolution by Ted Myers 

New Author on the Shelves – #Historical, #Spiritual -The Windmill by K. Lewis Adair 

#Poetry Sue Vincent, #Paranormal #Romance Jan Sikes, #Fantasy D.Wallace Peach 

April 6th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Hindsight and Quick Thinking 

– Open Mic Night – Special Guest Malcolm Allen – #Malapropisms and #Thesaurus 

 

Thank you very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week..thanks Sally

 

 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – April 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Bread and Fishes, Laundry and Good Deed


Welcome to laughter lines and as some of you may know Debby’s husband is very unwell and requires round the clock care. Update Health and Wellness However, Debby has allowed me to raid her Facebook photo archives to share with you.

april 1st 1

july 21st 3july 30th 2

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally.

No good deed goes unpunished

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,
Edna.

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened, It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving beggars at the Post Office.

 

Thanks for visiting and hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally