Smorgasbord Posts from the Archives 2023 – #Writing – How to Deal with Writer’s Block by D.G. Kaye

Debby will be back with a new post next week but in the meantime here is another post from her archives for you to enjoy.

Today a condition that can impact the creativity of writers at some point in their WIPs – Writer’s Block

Image by Lukas Bieri from Pixabay

A common problem many writers encounter is the dreaded writer’s block. It can hit us smack in the middle of our writing. We’re happily writing along until, boom! The creative well runs dry.

Because our craft is guided by mental focus and inspiration, it’s not difficult to imagine that sometimes we might get shut out from our creative energies. When life issues get in the way, I know I’ve certainly fallen victim to this freeze out of creativity while life is testing me with unforeseen circumstances that can take the wind right out of my writing sails.

When we implement self-imposed deadlines for our work, the mental pressure we put upon ourselves to accomplish our goals often have us scrambling to force our creative abilities.

Many writers have found their secret formulas for helping to get the creative juices, or their muses and mojos flowing, but many others struggle when the well of creativity begins to evaporate. So, what’s a writer to do?

Don’t change course by slacking off completely. Keep your imaginations open. There are many things we can do to re-ignite our creativity, often when we least expect it.

Read

Get newly inspired by reading a book or an interesting article or blog post. If you’ve allotted this time for writing, do something else to keep your mind in the creative realm. You will be surprised to find the ideas that float into mind while our concentrating efforts are focused on something else.

Write

Yes, you may get stumped on your current WIP, but working on another writing project will often summon up some new ideas for exactly the project you’re taking a breather from. If you don’t have another project to work on, use writing prompts to get the juices flowing again. Writing of any sort is a stimulant to our creative centers. Often, writing about a completely different topic will spark an idea for something else we’re working on.

Walk Away

You heard me correctly. When our heads are crammed with worry, doubts or blanks, forcing ourselves to remain at our keyboards staring into space looking for words to further our stories, it becomes an indicator that a timeout is warranted. Walking away doesn’t mean we don’t have to be thinking about our WIP; we’re merely changing the scenery and focusing on something else. If our WIP remains on the back burner in our minds while busying ourselves with a different task, something is going to give and eventually the flow of ideas will come back when we alleviate the pressure off ourselves.

Go Outside

Taking a walk while taking in the sights of people and nature surrounding us is a good way to calm the mind, which inadvertently allows creativity to brew again. Driving has the same effect for me, especially if I’m listening to music. Just be prepared to make notes about your new ideas or they may disappear into the ethers as quickly as they’ve sprung up.

• Be prepared for those glorious moments when inspiration returns.
• Have journals or notebooks handy to write down those precious newly inspired ideas because if you’re anything like me, they’ll be forever gone if we don’t write them down.
• Nothing to write with? Keep your mobile phones handy. With the various apps available, such as Voice Note, you can record your ideas, so they are there when you’re ready to go back to your stalled WIP. Heck, I’ve even whipped out a lipstick and wrote on a napkin a few times while out at a restaurant. Whatever works!

I like to think of the blank out moments while writing as merely a delay rather than a block. Where there is a will to write, sometimes a diversion is all it takes to bring us back to inspiration.

©DGKaye 2018

My thanks to Debby for these useful nudges to keep the creativity flowing.

About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto, Canada. She writes nonfiction and memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and self-help about women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps D.G. on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor in her quest to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the imprints and lessons she learned through people and events she encountered. D.G. writes books to share her stories and inspiration. She advocates for kindness and for women’s empowerment. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness received, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel

Books by D.G. Kaye

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby will be checking in from time to time and would love to hear from you.. thanks Sally.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 20th – 26th March 2023 – De-Cluttering, New Releases Promotion, Big Band Era, Stevie Wonder, Podcast, Health, Reviews, Bloggers and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed on Smorgasbord this week.

I hope you are not caught up in some of the dreadful weather this week including tornadoes and more heavy snowfall. This winter seems to be dragging on and we do thank our lucky stars our weather is moderate without the extremes. We might moan about the rain, but we do appreciate how lucky we are.

I am in the process of clearing out all the cabinets in the kitchen, decluttering and packing most of it in to boxes. Some of the utensils have not been out of the cupboards for seven years so I guess we don’t need them.There are some items that hold sentimental value, such as the crockpot we bought when we got married 43 years ago. We were pretty broke so I would make a big stew with lots of vegetables and meat and it would last four days from Monday to Thursday and then we would treat ourselves to fish and chips and a pint of beer at the pub on Fridays. Saturday and Sunday we would a roast chicken. Simple days but happy ones and I will hang on to the crockpot always as a reminder.

Also once the new kitchen is finished and we do the last round of touch ups I will be stripping out the rooms to minimum decoration and clutter. It also means that we can store the boxes and there will be less to do when we sell the house making that less stressful. My next major job is to tidy and refill some of the 30 pots in the front and back of the house once the last predicted freeze is in the next couple of weeks so that the garden is looking its best by May.  At the very least it should keep me out of mischief (perhaps not entirely!)

I know that some of you have new books on the horizon and it would be great if you could email me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com once you have a firm date either for the book to be on pre-order or available to buy on Amazon.  I am scheduling a couple of weeks ahead so it would be good to have the dates as soon as possible.

If you have featured here before I only need the date, but if you are new to the promotions then please include Amazon link, Goodreads,Blog or website, and two or three social media links.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Count Basie, Bunny Berrigan and The Boogie Woogie dance. On Friday he the series on the music giant Stevie Wonder….You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ joined me in the funnies posts this week and will be here tomorrow with a post on Writer’s Block. More good news is that she returned to Toronto yesterday from Mexico and will be back with a new post in April.  I am sure she will also be sharing some adventures from her vacation on her own blog in coming days. Follow the link to Debby’s blog to browse her archives …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘T’. On her own blog you can find Monday Musings with some interesting innovations such as
how single-celled yeasts are doing the work of 1,500-pound cows! How to preserve food during a power outage and some music from Ed Sheeran…If you are planning a trip to Europe, including a stop in Germany then you will find this post from Carol  very useful as she explores the cuisine of the country.. Beerfests and Sausages are not the only treats in store. Thursday thoughts with the bravery of a pigeon that saved hundreds of lives, the benefits of cider vinegar and some wonderful music to catch up on this and all of Carol’s posts this week Carol Taylor’s Weekly Posts

..Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1930s – Count Basie, Bunny Berigan, The Boogie Woogie

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz #Soul #Stevie Wonder – The 1970s

Podcast #Poetry #Flash Fiction – Seasons and Murmuration by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Digestive System Part Three – The Liver by Sally Cronin

#Review – #Africa #Wildlife #Poetry – Lion Scream: Syllabic Poetry About Southern African Wildlife by Robbie Cheadle

#Historical #Family #Romance – Three Years of Her Life by C. E. Robinson

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Contemporary #Romance – Maggie’s Way by Linda Bradley

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Thriller #Supernatural Dan Antion, #Romance Ritu Bhathal, #FamilyDrama Lisette Brodey

#writing #StoryEmpire – Characters and Diversity. Part 2 – Wealth by Gwen Plano

– #Joy #Cats #Inspiration by Abbie Taylor

#Teaching – My Preschooler, Then and Now by Jennie Fitzkee

#SpiritualGuides, #Poetry – Animal visits and their meaning—plus a poem by D.L. Finn

#Writing Plotting and Planning by Rebecca Douglass

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Voodoo dolls and marriage one liners

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Dogs and Therapy

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally ♥

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – March 13th – 19th 2023- Spring, Big Band Era, Stevie Wonder, A-Z Food, Short story, Podcast, Bloggers, Books Reviews, Digestion and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts that you might have missed on Smorgasbord this week.

I hope you are all doing well and have enjoyed your week…

A red letter day this week. The sun came out yesterday afternoon, the wind dropped and I was able to sit out in the back garden for nearly an hour. It looks like I will be able to do the same this morning in the front garden. It is amazing how just sitting quietly with the sun on your face next to the bird feeder and bright yellow daffodils makes everything right with the world. Well your small part of it anyway.  I know just how these cows feel after being shut up for the winter months lol.

I was out and about during the week included in a lovely post by Jane Sturgeon along with Harmony Kent, Alex Craigie, D.G. Kaye and Lauren Scott. Jane shares her reviews for her books and celebrates twelve years of blogging. If you are looking for your next read, or your TBR is looking a little skinny!!! head over to check the reviews out.

Jane Sturgeon – Feel a Writer’s Love

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Ella Fitzgerald, Chick Webb, Benny Goodman and The Lindy Hop . On Friday he began a new series on the music giant Stevie Wonder….You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here on Monday with a short story… and she also joined me in the funnies posts this week. Despite being on her winter break in Mexico she is still visiting posts and commenting, not just here but around the writing community. She will be back with us again the first week in April. Follow the link to Debby’s blog to browse her archives …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘S’. On her own blog you can find Pavarotti, Mermaids on her Monday Musings, some dugongs and manatees, Riverdance and a bit about septic tanks…on Thursday Thoughts.. to catch up with all of Carol’s posts this week Carol Taylor’s Weekly Round Up – March 12th – 18th 2023

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1930s – Ella Fitzgerald with Chick Webb, Benny Goodman, The Lindy Hop

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz #Soul #Stevie Wonder – The Early Years

#Shortstory – When Hell Froze Over by D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – ‘S’ for Satay, Salsa, Salmagundi, Sage, Squid and Salt Hoss

Podcast #Poetry #Flash Fiction – Kinship and The Close Match

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Digestive System Part Two – The Oesophagus and Stomach by Sally Cronin

Book Review – #Crimethrillers Shallow Waters, Made to be Broken, Fighting Monsters by Rebecca Bradley

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Psychological #Thriller – Scam!: : An Electric Eclectic Book by Stevie Turner

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Familysagas Judith Barrow, #familyhistory S. Bavey, #Fantasy C.S. Boyack

– #WWI – A Family At War by Geoff Le Pard

Patty Fletcher’s Grapevine Blog – Guest Post – Odd Encounter by author and proofreader Jo Elizabeth Pinto

#Mystery, #Magic and mayhem #BookReview FITZ AND THE FOOL #2 & #3 by Robin Hobb by Deborah Jay

Jemima Pett #reviews The Museum of Ordinary People by Mike Gayle

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Texting Seniors and even more one liners

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Retro Texting and even more one liners

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.

Smorgasbord Posts from the Archives 2023 – #Shortstory – When Hell Froze Over by D.G. Kaye

While Debby is away on her winter break in Mexico I will be sharing some of her posts from her series here on Smorgasbord and guest posts on other blogs in the last few years that I am sure you will enjoy.

Today a short story that Debby wrote for the Monthly Short Story Competition at Stevie Turner’s blog

When Hell Froze Over by D.G. Kaye

“We are untouchable. We the people decide what we want – whatever we want, despite the cost to anyone else.”

“This is your democracy – the one you asked for.” Satan delivered his sermon to the crowd and the people laughed and cried at the absurdity in disbelief. “I know I pulled a big one over you, but the bottom line is, you voted for me and this is now your reality.”

Absurdities fueled the cries and warnings of the people in the land. One citizen rose, “We were granted the freedom to speak by our founding fathers. What we are living now – these things aren’t supposed to happen here. Freedoms evaporating, children in cages, persecution of people because of their religion or the color of their skin. Lives not mattering. Have these values become obsolete, accompanied by the fear and loathing of everything else once sacred? Were these values we clung to so easily tucked neatly under those red hats, awaiting the word of Satan’s order of destruction of all things good, unleashed by the urgency of one paranoid gluttonous coward? We have sold our souls to the devil!”

God watched in the wings and had seen enough.

“I have seen what man has wrought onto my world. I am omnipresent. I am not your babysitter. I see and hear all of what you do, but I gave you all free will to do what you deem appropriate and you have chosen what you wanted to do with it.”

Another citizen stood to speak, “It appears to me we have abandoned goodness and the laws of God and his Ten Commandments in exchange for rule by the Seven Deadly Sins for instant gratification. We have abused the powers granted to us with greed and our loss of values for humanity.”

The shouting and cries continued from both sides – the good and the evil. They all took their turns fighting to be heard – some applauding for Satan and others repenting for what they had done.

Man had created everything they were living. God had sent them numerous warnings about protecting the environment, loving the brotherhood of man, and how to produce wholesome, natural foods to sustain good health, among so many other things. But greed spread as quickly as the devastating wildfires and floods. It became every man for himself, forgetting the poor and the hungry left behind. Chaos ensued when there was no longer law and order and God threw his hands up in defeat. And then he spoke.

“Commandments were broken repeatedly. Powers have been abused. You have poisoned the land I have given you with toxic chemicals because you couldn’t be bothered waiting for nature to take its course. You have poisoned your minds with false ideals and beliefs by get rich quick schemes and the promises of temptation. You have lost your way from common sense and kindness and compassion and love for your fellow man.” God had spoken. And now he let them run wild and parish into the hell they created.

This wasn’t the first time he had to do this, but hopefully, it would be the last. God once again raised his mighty staff and swiped the earth of its existence. Even hell had formed into a block of ice.

It was time to start over again with a clean slate.

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this thought provoking short story….

About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto, Canada. She writes nonfiction and memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and self-help about women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps D.G. on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor in her quest to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the imprints and lessons she learned through people and events she encountered. D.G. writes books to share her stories and inspiration. She advocates for kindness and for women’s empowerment. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness received, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for Fifteen First Times

Cheryl Oreglia 5.0 out of 5 stars An Enchanting Tour of Life  Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 1, 2023

I might be in my sixth decade of life, but DG Kaye’s memoir, Fifteen First Times, brings me blissfully back in time as if I were reliving my youth. She includes tender moments, budding independence, and painful firsts. I felt as if I were sitting across the couch from Kaye, sipping crisp white wine and exchanging stories of our beloved but challenging past.

She draws you in with our commonalities as women, from our first love to menstruation, a hysterical shoe obsession, bad hair decisions, first apartments, and broken hearts. As I read through each story, I laughed, cried, and empathized with Kaye’s Fifteen Firsts. It is a bold, funny, and touching read about life’s endearing moments. An enchanting novel for fans of delightful memoirs. 

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby will be checking in from time to time and would love to hear from you.. thanks Sally.

 

 

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2023 #Potluck – #Baseball – David Ortiz ‘Big Papi’ by Jennie Fitzkee

Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives 2023 where I will be sharing posts from the last six months of 2022 I have selected from the archives of willing participants. If you wish to be included the information is at the the end of the post.

In this first post from Jennie Fitzkee, she shares a  wonderful post about an amazing athlete and role model.

Big Papi by Jennie Fitzkee

Congratulations to David Ortiz, better known as Big Papi, for his induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame – one of only three designated hitters, DH, to receive that honor.

I was glued to the television when the Red Sox had their own tribute to Big Papi.

Note the player in the front, Pedro Martinez. More on him.

Big Papi is a hero to many, and not just because of baseball. He has character; goodness, humor, a never-give-up attitude, and he’s a leader. We need heroes like Big Papi. He quietly gives to children and charities. He loudly supports Boston. He was the one who spoke up after the terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon years ago to say “We are Boston Strong.” That phrase became iconic and still sticks today. Big Papi exemplifies what I teach children.

When asked his favorite Red Sox moment, here is a photo that tells the story:

Early in his career, Torii Hunter was dubbed dubbed “Spider-Man” for his acrobatic, wall-scaling catches but perhaps “Daredevil” is the more apt comic book comparison. After all, Hunter is, clearly, the outfielder without fear.

The 38-year-old, nine-time Gold Glove Award winner put his fearlessness on display yet again with an all-out attempt to rob Red Sox slugger David Ortiz of a game-tying, grand slam in the eighth inning of Game 2 of the American League Championship Series. Despite the best effort of the Tigers’ right fielder, the deep drive off the bat of Ortiz carried just over the wall into the home bullpen at Fenway Park — and Hunter followed.

Of course I have my own story. “It happened like this…”

Growing up in Huntington, West Virginia, the closest major league baseball team was the Cincinnati Reds. My dad would drive us to Cincinnati every summer. He desperately wanted to go to the ball park and see a game. In the car, we had to listen to baseball on the radio. I wanted rock and roll, not baseball. I wanted to shop at stores with my mom (who didn’t like any sports) and go to the zoo. My sister went to the ballpark with our dad, and I went shopping with our mother.

Fast forward to getting married, and finally learning about the great sport of baseball. I loved watching the Cincinnati Reds, especially “Charlie Hustle”, Pete Rose.

And then we moved to Massachusetts. The first Red Sox player I loved was Pedro Martinez (the one in the photo.) Interestingly, one of the parents in my class that year had her son in the same school with Pedro’s son, Little Pedro. Well…of course I wrote a letter. This was my first brave, reach-out letter. I invited Pedro and his son to our class to hang out, read a story, and make a special snack. I talked about Groton’s lack of diversity, and how a casual ‘hang out’ would do wonders for the children. No baseball, just kids.

I didn’t hear back from Pedro. He was doing other things at the time, like trying to get David Ortiz onto the Red Sox team. They were friends, and thanks to Pedro, it happened.

Watching Big Papi play baseball was always exciting, especially his swing of the bat. It must have been the same for fans who watched Ted Williams, Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, or other great ball players. I watched one of the greats, too.

My cross to bear is that I never went to a baseball game with my dad. I think he is smiling up in heaven, knowing that I finally ‘found’ baseball, even on the radio.

Jennie

©Jennie Fitzkee 2022

My thanks to Jennie for inviting me to delve into her archives from last year and I know she would love to hear from you.

About Jennie Fitzikee

I have been teaching preschool for over thirty years. This is my passion. I believe that children have a voice, and that is the catalyst to enhance or even change the learning experience. Emergent curriculum opens young minds. It’s the little things that happen in the classroom that are most important and exciting. That’s what I write about. I am highlighted in the the new edition of Jim Trelease’s bestselling book, “The Read-Aloud Handbook” because of my reading to children. My class has designed quilts that hang as permanent displays at both the National Liberty Museum in Philadelphia, and the Fisher House at the Boston VA Hospital.

Connect to Jennie – Blog: Jennie Fitzkee – Facebook: Jennie Fitzkee – @jlfatgc

How to feature in the series?

• All I need you to do is give me permission to dive in to your archives and find two posts to share here on Smorgasbord. (sally.cronin@moyhill.com)
• Rather than a set topic, I will select posts at random of general interest across a number of subjects from the second six months of 2022. (it is helpful if you have a link to your archives in your sidebar by month)
• As I will be promoting your books as part of the post along with all your information and links so I will not be sharing direct marketing or self- promotional posts in the series.
• If you are an author I am sure you will have a page on your blog with the details, and an ‘about page’ with your profile and social media links (always a good idea anyway). I will get everything that I need.
• As a blogger I would assume that you have an ‘about page’ a profile photo and your links to social media.
• Copyright is yours and I will ©Your name on every post… and you will be named as the author in the URL and subject line.
• Previous participants are very welcome to take part again.
• Each post is reformatted for my blog and I don’t cut and paste, this means it might look different from your own post especially if you are using the block editor
• If I do share a post which contains mainly photographs I will share up to five and link back to the original post for people to view the rest.

N.B – To get the maximum benefit from your archive posts, the only thing I ask is that you respond to comments individually and share on your own social media.. thank you.

 

Smorgasbord Posts from the Archives 2023 – #Epistolary #Writing by DG Kaye

While Debby is away on her winter break in Mexico I will be sharing some of her posts from her series here on Smorgasbord and guest posts on other blogs in the last few years that I am sure you will enjoy.

Epistolary Writing by D.G. Kaye

Image by Deborah Hudson from Pixabay

What is epistolary writing?

As a nonfiction/memoir writer I’ve been exploring this form of writing for a book I’ve been drafting about grief. I am seriously considering presenting the book in this form.

Epistolary writing is a style that addresses the reader through a diary format (think Bridget Jones’ Diary) or in journal or letter format. In this era of digital life, epistolary writing can also include email and blog post entries, police reports, newspaper articles and transcripts.

This style involves the writer speaking directly to another person, expressing the bond in a particular relationship through the content being written, which gives the reader an intimate peek into the writer’s private self and thoughts regarding the person she is writing to, and an inside scoop into that relationship between the writer and the character being spoken to. Journal and diary entries are more contemplative writings, but there is also the method of writing strictly in dialogue.

Epistolary writing is in essence writing dialogue from one’s self. It is important that the writer let the reader know to whom they are writing to. Epistolary stories can involve one or more characters the writing conversation is being directed toward.

Often, in this form of writing, the focus is more on evoking emotion, more so than a dialogue driven story. Epistolary writing is also classified as a sort of confessional-like writing, also known as monophonic point of view, letters to one specific character. It is referred as ‘dialogic’ if two people are writing letters, or, ‘polyphonic’ with three or more characters writing and receiving the letters. It is ultimately, a first-person point of view that allows the reader to get inside the writer’s thoughts. It’s a correspondence between characters or to a character. This form is a different take from third person POV where the usual plots and characters are the driving force of the storyline. Instead, the reader gets to understand the character’s interactions through what is implied by the writer.

Image by Greg Montani from Pixabay

The word – Epistolary, is derived from the noun – Epistle, which is the Greek word meaning ‘letter’. This is an actual literary genre that pertains to letters written for delivering story through personal messages from the writer to her subject(s). This format can be used as context for a relationship, friendship or even a business relationship between the writer and receiver.

Because this method of writing is a person telling, it can be written in multiple tenses. For example, the writer might go back in time with an entry and bring it up to present to invite in some tension. In most stories in other points of view writing, they are written in the classic, ‘show more, tell less’. This could be challenging to write in epistolary form because there is no narrator building a scene. But description that paints a picture to the reader can still be done. The more ‘real’ a story feels to the reader, the more they will engage in the emotion. Epistolary stories can be written in both fiction or nonfiction.

In summation, epistolary writing should be authentic, engaging to draw the reader into the emotion of the story, and it should not include any explanations or backstory.

One famous known book written in epistolary form is: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, where the young Anne wrote in her diary, Dear Kitty, through her hiding during most of WWII, and ultimately, her capture in the Holocaust.

Just a few more to mention of many more contemporary novels: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, where his story is told through letters in this coming-of-age story.

Permission by S.D. Chrostowska, told in a one-way correspondence consisting of anonymous emails sent from the author to a famous (ghost writer) visual artist.

The Beatrice Letter (part of the Unfortunate Events series) by Lemony Snicket, written in notes and letters.

The Screwtape Letters, a satire, originally written in 1942 by C.S. Lewis written in letters by the demon Screwtape who writes letters to his novice demon nephew Wormwood, a government worker residing in hell, directing his nephew on how to best tempt humans to be led astray.

The Color Purple, Pulitzer Prize Winner by Alice Walker, writes to her sister and Dear God diary entries by the protagonist, Celie.

Most recently, The Martian, written by Andy Weir. His character Mark Watney logs in journal form about being stranded on Mars. (Played by Matt Damon in the movie version.)

And it is a form I intend to use for my own book on grief, I’m planning on writing as the widow I’ve become, writing to my beloved husband who has recently passed on.

I hope you enjoyed learning about this not so common form of writing style.

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this explanation of this fascinating style of writing.

About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto, Canada. She writes nonfiction and memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and self-help about women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps D.G. on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor in her quest to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the imprints and lessons she learned through people and events she encountered. D.G. writes books to share her stories and inspiration. She advocates for kindness and for women’s empowerment. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness received, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel

Books by D.G. Kaye

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby will be checking in from time to time and would love to hear from you.. thanks Sally.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Round Up – 20th -26th February 2023 – Trips, Birthdays, Gifts, Big Band Era, Podcast, Book Reviews, Health and Funnies.

Welcome to the round up of posts on Smorgasbord that you might have missed this week.

It has certainly been a busy week for us with parties and travel and a very special lunch with two exceptional authors and friends. The first photo is from my sister Diana’s 80th birthday lunch which was the third of the meals we enjoyed while we were in Portsmouth including on the Sunday at No 27, a fabulous restaurant. Here we are enjoy our lunch.

The birthday cake that my sister Sonia organised and set alight with a sparkling 80...

The next celebration was meeting up with Judith Barrow and Alex Craigie for lunch in Cardigan in Wales.. so wonderful to finally meet Judith after 9 years and Alex who she introduced me to. Love their books and it is a long awaited meet up.

Alex had contacted me a couple of weeks before to ask for a high resolution of the cover for my latest collection and I wondered why… and what an amazingly creative gift it was.

Let there be light.. so touched and will treasure always.

I would also like to thank Abbie Taylor and Toni Pike  for their wonderful reviews this week on their blogs for Variety is the Spice of Life… I am so grateful..

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Tommy Dorsey, Duke Ellington and The Blackbottom dance…Also the next post on the life and music of the incredible Quincy Jones You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ is here on Monday with a repeat post from her archives on the subject of Epistolary Writing and will be joining me in the funnies post later in the week. Despite being on her winter break in Mexico she is still visiting posts and commenting, not just here but around the writing community. Follow the link to Debby’s blog to browse her archives …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor is here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘R’. On her own blog on Monday she exploredNatural Antibiotics…Colloidal Silver, John Herschel Glenn and Whoopi Goldberg…It was pancake day on Tuesday… a delicious treat anytime of year. On Wednesday Carol explored the cuisine of Finland…The Land of Reindeers and Midnight Sun…On Thursday Carol reminded us of Dolly the cloned sheep and where that technology has led science, also an amazing fusion of rock and wagner that will amaze you. Catch up with all of Carol’s posts in her weekly round up CarolCooks2 weekly roundup…19th-25th February 2023-

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…..

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin 1930s – Tommy Dorsey, Duke Ellington, The Black Bottom

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Musician #Producer #Humanitarian Quincy Jones Part Three – 1970s

Podcast #Poetry #Flash Fiction – Green the Colour of Life and A Dream Home by Sally Cronin.

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Heart – Foods needed to support this vital organ by Sally Cronin

New Book on the Shelves/Review – #Memoir #Life #Growth Grow Damn It!: The Feeding and Nurturing of Life by Cheryl Oreglia

Book Review – #Family #Romance – Letting Go: The Defiant Sisters- Book1 (The Defiant Sisters Duet) by Jacquie Biggar

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Psychological #Thriller – Someone Close to Home by Alex Craigie

New book on the shelves – Don’t Fade On Me (The Charlie McClung Mysteries Book 8) by Mary Anne Edwards

New Book on the Shelves – #Mythology #Sci-fi – Minotaur’s Lair (Servant of the Gods Book 3) by Luciana Cavallaro

#Hiking #Haiku #Rockies – Canadian Rockies Haiku by D. Wallace Peach

#SettingExamples #Excellence #Kindness Seeing Both Sides of the Coin by Pete Springer

Friday Free For All! #Dreams by Jan Sikes

#Recipe – Sea Scallops and Baby Potatoes in Purgatory by Dorothy Grover-Read – New Vintage Kitchen

Host Sally Cronin – We are all going to the dogs!

Host Sally Cronin – . Shadows and Full time job

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally ♥

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2023 #Potluck – #AuthorPromotions #NewBookPromotions The Story Reading Ape

Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives 2023 where I will be sharing posts from the last six months of 2022 I have selected from the archives of willing participants. If you wish to be included the information is at the the end of the post.

This is the first post from the archives of the Story Reading Ape and Chris has been a huge supporter of fellow bloggers and authors as long as I have been blogging which is over ten years. It is a wonderful place to be showcased and if you are in need of a pick you up at the start of the week then his Monday Funnies will do the job.

Today another example of a promotion on Chris’s blog, particularly if you have a new book being released, and all the details you need to be promoted on his site can be found HERE

Lisa Burton visits to introduce the latest Hat Series book: The Midnight Rambler by C.S. Boyack hosted by The Story Reading Ape.

It’s so cool to be back here once more, Chris. You’re looking fit… and hairy. You must have some good conditioner. Really brings out the silver back.

Anyway, Craig will bust me if I don’t talk about his books. This time it’s called The Midnight Rambler. This is the newest entry into The Hat Series. This one has kind of a science fiction angle to it, and you know robot girls are all into science fiction. Okay, it’s mad science, but you catch my drift.

There’s this guy, Ray, and he’s kind of a Frankenstein’s monster, but he’s not a bad guy. Lizzie wants to help him, despite the hat’s concerns. He needs medicine and will die without it. This is a magical concoction, so he can’t just pop down to the pharmacy for this stuff. The guy who makes it has been kidnapped by the Midnight Rambler. All they have to do is find the Rambler, rescue the witch, then start brewing the medicine. Easy peasy, right?

There can’t be more than one problem, so the Rambler knows all about the hat and hates him. He’s trying to kill him by setting up a fortress and obstacles to wear him down before the big fight. Lizzie and the hat have to find him, but there’s a gigantic flood event happening at the same time. Moving around in the dark isn’t something they can do like in previous tales.

Let’s just say, things aren’t looking good for poor Ray.

I always try to share a little promotional joy on these tours. I brought you a poster to share with your fans. Since this one is mad science based, I went for another theme in this poster. It reflects that Lizzie and Ray might be developing a relationship before it all ends.

Robot girls have career struggles, too. Your friends are welcome to share this on social media, they look great on Pinterest. Use it as wallpaper on your electronic devices. Maybe I can become an influencer again. Could happen.

The Hat Series is a different kind of series. There are multiple books, but all of them can stand alone. Check out The Midnight Rambler and you won’t feel lost at all. If you like it, there’re more to check out. Check out a few titles and maybe Lisa gets a nice Christmas bonus.

Blurb:

Something evil is after the hat. The ageless enemies have battled many times, but this time Lizzie is wearing the hat. She’s also up against a ticking clock, in that if she can’t find the maker of her new friend’s medicine he will die.

The Rambler has kidnapped the only witch capable of making Ray’s medicine in an attempt to make the hat sloppy in his efforts. He’s also flooded the streets with deadly minions to impede any progress our heroes might make.

As if that weren’t enough, Lizzie is facing more of life’s struggles, both financially and mechanically. This all goes down in the middle of a huge flood event that she’s ill equipped to handle.

Join Lizzie and the hat as they battle the elements, the paranormal, and a being of pure evil. Lizzie might be battling some personal demons along the way as she and Ray grow closer.

Amazon Universal Link

Craig Boyack

Blog – Twitter –  Facebook  –  Goodreads

See ALL Craig’s books at:

Amazon:

USA  –  UK  –  CA  –  AUS

©Christopher Graham 2022

My thanks to Chris for inviting me to share posts from his archive and I know he would love to hear from you..

About The Story Reading Ape

My literature Hero is Terry Pratchett who, in one of his Science of Discworld books, postulated that Homo Sapiens Sapiens survived all the pitfalls that made other Homo Sapiens species become extinct, by being story telling apes.

If this is the case, then in order to be effective, for every story telling ape there had to be a story listening ape.

I am descended from them, except I read stories instead of listening to them; and author’s are the tellers of the stories I read.

I don’t so much read books as devour them, (sometimes re-devouring them several times), so I’ve set myself a long term task, to list all the books I’ve ever read on Goodreads – trouble is I’ve got the memory of a sieve and I must have read thousands of them!

After years of lugging books around with me when I travelled (pre-internet), or order them to be delivered to wherever I was (post internet), I got an eReader, which enables me to support my local library, as well as giving me access to practically every Kindle, EPUB & PDF format book ever published, via the internet.

Now all I have to do is spend the next several lifetimes reading them (I hope re-incarnation is true, although not having memories from previous lives might be a snag)

What is the purpose of my blog?

1. To introduce YOU to new (to me) authors I’ve come across in my wanderings through books and the cyberforest.

2. To provide a platform (battered old homemade soapbox) for authors to introduce themselves to you. (See my Contact Me Section for Guest Author article Guidelines)

3. As an informal information service to authors, poets, or anyone else who is thinking of becoming a published person of that ilk.

4. To promote FUN and an OASIS OF CALM and Font of useful Knowledge andTips for Indies (please do NOT feed my naughty chimps or they may follow you home) from the woes and stresses of the real world.

I hope you enjoy my blog and join my Troop of Followers

Connect to the Story Reading Ape: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: The Story Reading Ape – Twitter: @StoryReadingApe

 

Chris and his sister gathered together the poetry written by his mother Agnes Mae Graham into a collection – My Vibrating Vertebrae and other poems.

One of the reviews for the collection

Jo Robinson5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful, Inspiring, Perennial

Agnes Mae Graham’s poetry is refreshing, uplifting, funny, and at times deeply moving. She vividly brings to mind the horror of life during the terror attacks in Ireland in The Terror and the Tears, and also how heartbreaking and lethal it must have been to have to choose sides during those tragic times in Kitty and Joe. Then she moves on to the joys and loves of youth and young motherhood, the awe of first flight, and the love and memories of home and hearth. And for a good old belly laugh she whisks us back to childhoods laughs and tears in Really!

I was given the honour of editing and formatting this book, and from the first smile it gave me I realized what a gem of a collection it was. All about real life, from the bubbliest joys to the darkest despairs, this book of poetry will always be right at the top of my “read more than once, and often” pile. I highly recommend this book to all humans for smiles and introspection both. 

Read the reviews and buy the collection: Amazon UK –  And: Amazon US

How to feature in the series?

• All I need you to do is give me permission to dive in to your archives and find two posts to share here on Smorgasbord. (sally.cronin@moyhill.com)
• Rather than a set topic, I will select posts at random of general interest across a number of subjects from the second six months of 2022. (it is helpful if you have a link to your archives in your sidebar by month)
• As I will be promoting your books as part of the post along with all your information and links so I will not be sharing direct marketing or self- promotional posts in the series.
• If you are an author I am sure you will have a page on your blog with the details, and an ‘about page’ with your profile and social media links (always a good idea anyway). I will get everything that I need.
• As a blogger I would assume that you have an ‘about page’ a profile photo and your links to social media.
• Copyright is yours and I will ©Your name on every post… and you will be named as the author in the URL and subject line.
• Previous participants are very welcome to take part again.
• Each post is reformatted for my blog and I don’t cut and paste, this means it might look different from your own post especially if you are using the block editor
• If I do share a post which contains mainly photographs I will share up to five and link back to the original post for people to view the rest.

N.B – To get the maximum benefit from your archive posts, the only thing I ask is that you respond to comments individually and share on your own social media.. thank you.

 

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2023 #Potluck – #Recipes from around the world: Prawn pasta bake by Robbie Cheadle

Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives 2023 where I will be sharing posts from the last six months of 2022 I have selected from the archives of willing participants. If you wish to be included the information is at the the end of the post.

In this second post from Robbie Cheadle’s archives I have selected one from her recipes from around the world series. She shares some dishes that are easy to make and would be loved by the whole family.

Recipes from around the world: Prawn pasta bake by Robbie Cheadle

I have mentioned before that I am not the world’s biggest seafood person, but I do love prawns. I often make dishes that use prawns, with or without another seafood addition. I came across a recipe for garlic shrimp pasta bake and I amended it to my preferred specifications. It came out very well.

Ingredients

• 500 grams multicoloured spiral noodles (spinach, tomato, and plain)
• 120 grams butter
• 125 ml all-purpose flour
• 600 ml low fat milk
• 3 cups chicken stock
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 3 teaspoons chopped fresh dill
• 200 ml grated parmesan cheese
• 125 ml grated Romano cheese
• 125 ml grated mozzarella cheese
• 1 Tbspn flaked garlic
• 1 Tbspn dried parsley
• 4 chopped Roma tomatoes
• 500 grams shelled large prawns

Method

1. Bring a saucepan of water to the boil and add 5 ml of olive oil and 15 ml of salt. Add the spiral pasta and allow to cook for 15 minutes until soft. Drain, rinse with cold water and set aside.
2. In a saucepan, add a little olive oil and cook the prawns and the garlic for 5 – 7 minutes until light pink all over.
3. Add the butter to the saucepan and melt. Mix in the flour and allow to cook for a few minutes. Add the lemon juice to the chicken stock and slowly add to the flour mixture, whisking continuously. Add the milk, parsley, dill, salt and pepper, and whisk until the mixture comes to the boil. It should have thickened nicely by that time. Do not stop whisking or the sauce will go lumpy. Add the Romano and parmesan cheese and half of the mozzarella and allow to melt completely. Add the chopped tomatoes and the prawns.
4. Prepare a large baking tray, layer with the pasta. Pour the sauce over the pasta, making sure the pasta is completely coated with sauce. Sprinkle the remaining mozzarella cheese on top.
5. Heat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius and bake for 30 minutes. Serve with a fresh green salad.

Here is my YT video of the sauce for this pasta bake:

©Robbie Cheadle 2022

My thanks to Robbie for letting me share her posts from her archives and I know she would love to hear from you.

About Robbie Cheadle

Robbie Cheadle is a South African children’s author and poet with eleven children’s books and two poetry books.

The eight Sir Chocolate children’s picture books, co-authored by Robbie and Michael Cheadle, are written in sweet, short rhymes which are easy for young children to follow and are illustrated with pictures of delicious cakes and cake decorations. Each book also includes simple recipes or biscuit art directions which children can make under adult supervision.

Robbie and Michael have also written Haunted Halloween Holiday, a delightful fantasy story for children aged 5 to 9. Count Sugular and his family hire a caravan to attend a Halloween party at the Haunted House in Ghost Valley. This story is beautifully illustrated with Robbie’s fondant and cake art creations.

Robbie has also published two books for older children which incorporate recipes that are relevant to the storylines.

Robbie has two adult novels in the paranormal historical and supernatural fantasy genres published under the name Roberta Eaton Cheadle. She also has short stories, in the horror and paranormal genre, and poems included in several anthologies.

Robbie Cheadle contributes two monthly posts to https://writingtoberead.com, namely, Growing Bookworms, a series providing advice to caregivers on how to encourage children to read and write, and Treasuring Poetry, a series aimed at introducing poetry lovers to new poets and poetry books.

In addition, Roberta Eaton Cheadle contributes one monthly post to https://writingtoberead.com called Dark Origins: African Myths and Legends which shares information about the cultures, myths and legends of the indigenous people of southern Africa.

A selection of books  by Robbie and Michael Cheadle and as Roberta Eaton Cheadle

One of the reviews for The Christmas Bird

The Christmas Bird, a middle grade story by Robbie Cheadle, tells the story of a South African family in financial difficulty who are willing to make sacrifices for one another’s happiness, as well for the care of a baby bird they rescue on Christmas Day. The story is told from the point of view of Stella, the eldest of four girls.

As an adult, I enjoyed the story because it was not the usual Christmas fare. In fact, The Christmas Bird, is not, strictly speaking, a Christmas story, as it takes place between Christmas and April. Instead, it begins with the ideals of selflessness and compassion associated with Christmas and does not abandon these ideals once the presents have been opened and the celebratory meal eaten.

The triggering event for the story happens on Christmas Day, when the family’s two undernourished dogs find a hoopoe’s nest and kill all but one chick. The girls’ mother calls the dogs off, and Stella rescues the chick. What was particularly striking to me in this scene was that the mother doesn’t subsequently punish the dogs for following their canine instincts. Similarly, when the rescued bird proves to have a particularly unpleasant bodily function, the mother takes it in stride and explains to the girls that it is a natural defense mechanism.

The story is narrated with vivid, specific details so that children can easily visualize the events as they unfold, including how to care for an orphaned or abandoned baby bird. I was impressed by the girls’ researching each stage of the chick’s development to ensure they were caring for it appropriately, with the end goal that the bird could survive in the wild.

As the hoopoe develops, the girls grow more attached to it, while the bird grows less dependent on them. The story then reaches a natural and satisfying conclusion. I think middle grade readers will enjoy the story and derive valuable lessons from it. I also think the story is appropriate for adults to read to younger children. If my experience is any indication, adults will appreciate the story as well!

Read the reviews and Buy the books :  Amazon US– And: Amazon UK – Follow Robbie : Goodreads – blog: Robbie’s Inspiration- Twitter: @bakeandwrite

How to feature in the series?

• All I need you to do is give me permission to dive in to your archives and find two posts to share here on Smorgasbord. (sally.cronin@moyhill.com)
• Rather than a set topic, I will select posts at random of general interest across a number of subjects from the second six months of 2022. (it is helpful if you have a link to your archives in your sidebar by month)
• As I will be promoting your books as part of the post along with all your information and links so I will not be sharing direct marketing or self- promotional posts in the series.
• If you are an author I am sure you will have a page on your blog with the details, and an ‘about page’ with your profile and social media links (always a good idea anyway). I will get everything that I need.
• As a blogger I would assume that you have an ‘about page’ a profile photo and your links to social media.
• Copyright is yours and I will ©Your name on every post… and you will be named as the author in the URL and subject line.
• Previous participants are very welcome to take part again.
• Each post is reformatted for my blog and I don’t cut and paste, this means it might look different from your own post especially if you are using the block editor
• If I do share a post which contains mainly photographs I will share up to five and link back to the original post for people to view the rest.

N.B – To get the maximum benefit from your archive posts, the only thing I ask is that you respond to comments individually and share on your own social media.. thank you.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Posts from the Archives 2023 – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – Online Dating – Staying Safe

While Debby is away on her winter break in Mexico I will be sharing some of her posts from her series here on Smorgasbord and guest posts on other blogs in the last few years that I am sure you will enjoy.

Since it is Valentine’s Day this week and thoughts might be leaning towards romance and perhaps online dating, here is Debby’s guide to staying safe online.

Welcome back to my Realms of Relationships Column at the Smorgasbord. In this issue, I’m going to talk more about Online Romantic Relationships and what to look for when vetting potential mates.

Back in the day, meeting potential love interests entailed going out and meeting people and mingling. Now this could happen anywhere, but in my heydays, going dancing at clubs two-three times a week afforded me the chance to meet many potential dates, despite my policy ‘never to go out with anyone I met in a bar or club’, and I stuck to that. But I sure had my share of romantic relationships – often with the wrong types as I lived and learned, and many of those relationships began with people I met at the workplace.

In those ancient times, like modern times, we dated and rated our suitors through the time we spent in those relationships. Sure, socially active people out in public still do meet their significant others, but with the advent of technology, many more are going to dating sites in search of someone to fill their emptiness, looking for love. And meeting a potential suitor on the internet comes with its own set of rules – because we are getting to know someone online – sight unseen, going on the information we receive from them. But what if they’re lying about who they are? How do we vet these unknown strangers we may become attracted to, to help verify if they are who they say they are?

Let’s dig in!

We’ve come a long way from the days of getting all dressed and looking our best to go out on the town, hoping to make a connection when looking for love. Sure, it still happens, but not as much as internet dating sites and social media apps are common ground now for those searching for a mate.

As a person who studies people for a hobby, I’ve learned to adjust my sails when trying to figure out the validity of online people. I can say with authority, that there are a lot of lurkers on social media who try to hit on women. I have no doubts, that there are just as many women who prey on men too. I’m speaking as a woman who gets stalked occasionally – especially on Facebook, as do quite a few of my colleagues.

I’m going to attribute my vetting experience to being an avid watcher of police procedurals for many years – part of my fascination with studying people, curious to learn what spurs their criminal tendencies.

First up: What to beware of:

Fast Eddies – This is my name for suitors that haven’t spent enough chat time getting to know each other and who go gung-ho for setting up a live meet. Just no! There’s a lot more vetting to do before you should get to that part.

No photo – Anyone who won’t post a photo, in my books, doesn’t have good intentions, or has something to hide. And if they do post a photo, make sure you use an app like Tineye. This app allows you to plug in any photo, whether downloaded or using copy and paste, and checks the origins of the image.

Keep a list – Write down facts of discovery through conversations with a potential suitor. When you write things down as you learn them, you have something to go back on when putting together the profile for that person. Make a list of their hobbies, their perspective on issues that are important to you as you discuss. Ask pertinent questions and be subtle when doing so. – For example, asking someone what their religion is might be too forward, but rewording your questions before blurting them out will get you a lot further. Instead, you might ask if the person enjoys celebrating religious holidays with family. This type of question will get you a much better answer than just a yes or no, and leave an open door to elaborate on. Let’s say the suitor responds with, “We only go to church at Christmas or Easter.” That statement allows for you to respond and ask many more questions such as: Who is we? So you’re Catholic? So you aren’t very religious? Be crafty with your questions. And write down responses.

If a potential suitor is gabbing online with you midday and told you he works five days a week, subtly slide in the question – ‘Aren’t you working today?’ It’s totally possible he was thinking about you and wanted to say hello during a break, but asking the question will give you a clearer indication, based on time chatting and what comes out of the conversation helping to determine better, the sincerity of his words.

Beware of being sucked in! It’s astounding to me the amount of people who get swooped into financial scams by fake suitors. If you learn nothing from my post here, learn this – NEVER send money to anyone courting you online. NEVER. There are plenty of scammers and desperate people among those with good intentions, and it’s our job to filter them out to remain safe.

NEVER go it alone when meeting a potential suitor for the first time in person.

Set up a first-time meet in a public place. Make sure to tell a friend or relative where you are going so somebody in your circle knows where you are.

Take your own means of transportation. Do not accept an offer from the suitor to pick you up. There are two potential dangers – getting trapped in their vehicle, and allowing them to know where you live.

If you feel enough time and information has passed between you both and perhaps you’re both ready to meet, again, make sure you set up a meet in a public place, you take your own transportation, and you’ve informed a friend of your whereabouts.

If by chance you’re ready to visit the suitor who lives in another city or country, book yourself a hotel/motel room before you go. It’s important to have a place of shelter if things go wrong. You could book it for a week or two and once you feel comfortable in person, can always cancel the rest of the booking.

What can you do to protect yourself as an online member of a dating site:

Create a new and separate email address and user-name to use for any dating site profiles, that way if things go sour with someone, and you wish to eliminate your original profile and any breadcrumbs of data that attached to your user name profile, you can rejoin with a new email address and user name with no ties to your real everyday email address or any other previously used. This way, if you had a bad experience with another member, they won’t be able to hound you.

Photos – always download a photo from your own direct source – meaning, not a photo taken from your social media that can be tracked back to original source (again, you aren’t the only one aware of apps like ‘tineye’ and others can use it to add your photo and learn more about you on social media before you’re ready for that). And be real. Use a real and ‘somewhat’ current image of yourself – not one of someone else, no other images in place of, or a photo that is decades old. If you are serious about wanting to meet someone, then you’ll eventually want to meet that person live, and ultimately, the gig will be up if you fib.

Checklist of Reminders

• Keep a list of facts, making sure they add up! –
• Financial requests? – Run fast!
• Use your instincts, don’t be gullible.

Make your rules clear. Be upfront about your rules, never agree to meet anyone in person until enough time has passed in the online chat or phone chats, before graduating to any next steps, until a trust can be felt. No throwing caution to the wind.

Learn How to Vet Online suitors

On social media, there’s a plethora of available information on each and every one of us who use the internet. You can do your own people searching by checking their various social media accounts for bios, and reading chat on those forums to get a feel for how they interact, and who they interact with, Googling them, and by checking out any available websites they are on. Remember to use the available tools on each social app to block or report anyone hassling you on any social sites. Also remember to use the settings on these apps to make your own posts available to friends only if you don’t want any lurkers.

This online dating coach, Amie knows the internet dating protocol well:

Last of all, I do want to add that after we’ve done our due diligence in vetting the potentials we chat with online, remember that just because we aren’t talking in person, our personality and character will shine through between the lines and through our words. Have you ever read a comment on social media and can just feel the smile come through? It can! So pay attention to your words and how you evoke them when trying to make a good impression. Below, find a few paragraphs from the chapter, Online Dating, from my book, Words We Carry:

“By talking, we express who we are and what we care about, what interests us. This is all part of personality and character. Maybe our passion is for our children, our hobbies, or a cause we believe in. All these things show heart and compassion. By keeping true to our authentic selves and sharing our enthusiasm with others, although our passions may not appeal to everyone, we will eventually connect with someone who appreciates our attributes.

By sharing our thoughts, we emit character. Not all of this will happen overnight, but if we take this advice in stride and adapt it to our lives, we will attract like-minded people. This applies to dating profiles, blogs, and casual conversations.

Did you know you can actually feel someone smiling through his or her words? It’s true. Smiles aren’t only visual. You can sense them when you’re reading a book or article, the same way you can sense them in a chat box or a personal bio. When somebody reads your bio, he or she receives an evaluation of who you are.

Words are powerful, so use them wisely and to their best potential. Everything you say and write on the internet follows you.”

Now, let’s discuss. Have any of you met your significant other online? Do you use dating apps? Would you like to share a story of an experience you had?

©DGKaye2021

My thanks to Debby for this detailed guide to online dating… in pays to be vigilant

About D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies)

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto, Canada. She writes nonfiction and memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and self-help about women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps D.G. on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor in her quest to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the imprints and lessons she learned through people and events she encountered. D.G. writes books to share her stories and inspiration. She advocates for kindness and for women’s empowerment. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness received, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel

Books by D.G. Kaye

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby will be checking in from time to time and would love to hear from you.. thanks Sally.