Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – May 15th – 21st 2023 – Twitter, Starlings, The Jive, Diana Krall, Soul Mates, Zabaglione, Personal Power,Book Reviews, Health and Humour

Welcome to the round up of posts you may have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

Glad to report that the final small bits to the kitchen and the new counter top in the utility room are complete and we are back to normal which is great. I went shopping yesterday morning and when leaving the store I knew immediately that something was wrong.. I sounded like I was competing in a drag race with a revved up engine… and clearly my exhaust had cracked.. Thankfully our usual garage can take it on Monday morning… just when you think you have finished spending….. still it could be worse.

The baby starlings have fledged. They have been making a bit of a racket for the last couple of weeks in the hedges surrounding the house but on Wednesday they took flight and joined their parents at the Birdseed Cafe and Spa. They have learnt very quickly that the water bath is a fun way to play while waiting for mum or dad to fetch a dried mealy worm or seed from the buffet and the noise is horrendous, but satisfying to see such a wonderfully healthy crop of youngsters. Makes the feeding everyday, especially during the winter months worth it..Here is Mum on guard whilst two babies try out the swimming pool.

Just a note to remind those of you who have twitter accounts and whose posts were automatically uploaded there too. That option is no longer available which means that you have to manually link your posts to Twitter by using the sharing link. And readers can do likewise. Apparently to compensate they are bringing in an automatic instagram link which is great for those who are members and share a lot of photos.

I have been out and about again this week with crime writer Sue Coletta, who shares one of the stories from Variety is the Spice of Life… The Neighbourhood Watch a story of revenge with a bit of a twist at the end…

Please head over to enjoy on Sue’s blog:Short Story – The Neighbourhood Watch by Sally Cronin

Author Allan Hudson very kindly interviewed me back in 2017 along with an excerpt from Just An Odd Job Girl… this week he reshared the post and it was lovely to revisit his questions and the comments.

If you have time please head over if you missed it back in 2017: Allan Hudson with Guest Author Sally Cronin

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Artie Shaw, Coleman Hawkins and The Jive.  On Friday William finished the series featuring Diana Krall.  On Friday William begins a new series… get ready to dance… with ABBA..You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here with her series Spiritual Awareness on Monday exploring Soul Mates and Life Partners and the difference between them.. and of course Debby shared some great funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find her Sunday Book Review for The Widow by Valerie Keogh and a terrific post about Florence, Italy and the great flood of 1966 that devastated the city and its wonderful collection of artwork…and the amazing recovery operation. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with the final in the current series of A-Z of food and the letters ‘X,Y,Z’. Carol’s next series is the original Green Kitchen which will be posted every three weeks starting on June 7th. Carol has been in Australia but returning soon to her blog, but you can catch up with her archives at Carol Cooks 2

Toni Pike will be here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and this week, Don’t Give Your Power Away… something it is easy to do. Head over to check out Toni Pike’s Books

On Thursday author Daniel Kemp shared some of his off the chart funnies with us including an hysterical letter from a new army recruit in Australia…you can catch up with Danny on his website and blog The Author Danny Kemp

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Artie Shaw, Coleman Hawkins, The Jive

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part Four – 2010s and Beyond

Spiritual Awareness – Soul Mates and Life Partners by D. G. Kaye

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – X,Y,Z for Xawaash Spice, Yams and Zabaglione.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Podcast Rewind – Tales from the Garden – The Guardians of the Magic Garden by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Rejection – A Fact of Life Part One by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Circulatory System – Part Two – Common problems with blood-vessels by Sally Cronin

Book Review – In the Tree’s Shadow: A collection of stories that exist in your dreams… and nightmares by D.L. Finn

New Book on the Shelves – #WWII #Netherlands – The Girl From Huizen by Paulette Mahurin

#Crime #Alzheimer’s The Lilac Notebook by Carol Balawyder

#Motivational – Prisoners without Bars: A Caregivers Tale by Donna O’Donnell Figurski

#Nostalgia #BabyBoomers The Rat In The Python: Book 1 The Home by Alex Craigie

#Mystery #Paranormal D.L. Finn, #Malaysia #WWII Apple Gidley, #Supernatural #Adventure John W. Howell

Smorgasbord Blogger Spotlight – 26th May 2023 #Laughter Pete Springer, #Poetry Elizabeth Gauffreau, #Texting John W. Howell, #Chess Stevie Turner, #Eurovision Janet Gogerty, #Genres Jacqui Murray, #Florence D.G. Kaye

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Petty Theft and paraprosdokians

Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – May 2023 – Facebook Friends and Orchestral manoeuvres

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – May 2023 – Facebook Friends and Orchestral manoeuvres

Author Daniel Kemp has been entertaining us over the last three years with his funnies on his Facebook page and head over to follow Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter..

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack – nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are dead because we’ve been on a ’route march’ – geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ – dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a possum’s bum and it don’t move and it’s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target! You don’t even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy – it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got, and I’ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers – he’s 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I’m only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can’t complain about the Army – tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is.

Your loving daughter,
Sheila

A helping hand

Don’t all faint at the same time— please.—–

Olaf the Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.

“What’s the matter?” asks Olaf.

“Oh,” sobs the old lady. “I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets.”

“No problem,” says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. “I’ll take you.”

Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.

At the other end, the old lady’s husband is waiting with her wheelchair.

“I’d really like to thank you,” says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, “but I don’t even know who you are!”

Olaf just waves and walks off.

“I was really worried about you,” says the old lady’s husband. “What have you been doing?”

She replies, “Well, I’ve been through the desserts on a Norse with no name.”

I did warn you!

Orchestral manoeuvres

He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians.

It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end.

Earlier that evening, he found the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses, he knocked over his music stand.

The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded.

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Petty Theft and paraprosdokians

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

 

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Soul Mates and Life Partners

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

This was sent to me by my sister Diana….

A paraprosdokian is a sentence or statement with an unexpected ending. It means “against expectations” in Greek.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but couldn’t find any

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? I don’t know and I don’t care.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

Need an ark? I Noah guy.

You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero. Thanks for nothing!

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”

 We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 15th – 20th May 2023 – New Kitchen, Collaborators, Diana Krall, Personal Power, Podcast, Circulatory System, Book Reviews, Bloggers and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you are doing well and enjoyed the week.  I promised to show you some after photos on our kitchen renovations and here is the reminder of the before photos with the doors removed and before the carcasses were removed…

And here are the after photos

We are slowly putting back the various pieces of equipment and crockery etc.. It will take a few days but we are very happy with the new look.

My thanks to Maureen Twomey for her lovely feature and boost for Life is Like A Bowl of Cherries..  Maureen Twomey – Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Kate Smith, Glenn Miller with Ray Eberle and Shag Dancing.  On Friday William continued the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ will be here with her series Spiritual Awareness on Monday exploring Soul Mates and Life Partners and the difference between them.. Debby was also here with her great funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find news of her latest project in the epistolary format, this month’s writing links and her latest book review The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with the final in the current series of A-Z of food and the letters ‘X,Y,Z’. Carol is on a short blogging break but you can catch up with her Monday Musings  where she shares her arrival in Australia to visit her daughter who lives there and some great photos Monday Musing 15th May

Toni Pike was here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and this week, Becoming your own best friend… a very important relationship. Head over to check out Toni Pike’s Books

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Kate Smith, Glenn Miller with Ray Eberle, Carolina Shag dancing

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part Three – The New Millennium

Personal Power – Become Your Own Best Friend by Toni Pike

Podcast #Poetry – The Night Sky and Creatures of the Night by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Three – Romance – Expectations and Observations by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Circulatory System – Part One – How does Blood circulate by Sally Cronin

Food Snippets – Pineapple for bruises, prunes as a fat substitute

#Memoir #History – .You Can Take The Girl From The Prairie: Stories about growing up on the Canadian prairies by Darlene Foster

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Biography #WWI, Queen Victoria, #Adventures, Lucky Jack by S. Bavey

New Book on the Shelves – #Catlovers – Happiness Is A Warm Cat by Emily Gmitter and Zoe the Fabulous Feline

#Reviews Lauren Scott, #Alligators Marcia Meara, #Familytrees Story Reading Ape and Traci Kenworth, #Potato Rolls Dorothy Grover Read, #OnlyChildren Gwen Plano #StoryEmpire

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Contemporary #Romance Stevie Turner, #’Thriller #Mystery Gwen M. Plano, #WWII #Thriller Allan Hudson

#Poetry Harmony Kent, #Poetry M. J. Mallon, #Historical #Family #Romance C.E. Robinson

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Ravens and Blessings

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Sourdough and Facebook chain letter

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally.

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Sourdough and Facebook chain letter

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness: Timing – of people and events in our lives

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

One for the girls

This chain Facebook post was started by a woman in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women.

Unlike a chain letter, it will not cost you anything. Just forward to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband, partner or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list.

When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men. One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you have already.

DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN

One woman who broke the chain got her original husband back…..

At the time of posting this, a friend of mine had already received 454 men. They buried her yesterday. It took three undertakers to get the smile off her face and two days to position her body so that they could close the coffin..

You must have faith!

How to control your wife!

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and said, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”

The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”

The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man!’”

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Ravens and Blessings

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness: Timing – of people and events in our lives

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Blessings

One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse — a very long shot — won the race.

Before the following race, the Priest blessed yet another horse. Mitch made a beeline for the window, and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet a large amount of money on it, and it won!

True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves of one of the horses.

Mitch bet every cent he had, including his life savings and the deed to his house. Mitch then watched the horse come in dead last. He was dumbfounded.

He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he demanded, “What happened, Father? All day long you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now, thanks to you, I’ve lost all my savings!”

The priest nodded wisely and said, “That’s the problem with Protestants — you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 8th – 14th May 2023 – New Kitchen, Out and About, Glenn Miller, Diana Krall, Foods ‘W’, Podcast, Book Reviews, Bloggers, Health and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you have all had a good week and have enjoyed some of the sunnier weather we have. While David began to dismantle the kitchen to speed up the process of the installation of the new one this week, I sat in the garden and caught up with reading, music and sunshine… It certainly makes a difference. One of the neighbour’s cats came and kept me company all afternoon sitting in the shade of my chair and occasional commenting on the birds and the state of the world.

Here are some ‘before’ photos of the kitchen and hopefully next week you will get the ‘after’ ones!  All these units are being taken out and so it will take a two or three days to get the job done…Our office is in the diner part of the kitchen so we will be covering everything with sheets and decamping into the dining room. I will be offline during the day but will be checking in first thing and in the evening.

A wonderful surprise on Friday to find myself featured on author Stevie Turner’s blog along with the lovely review by Robbie Cheadle for Variety is the Spice of Life.. I hope you will head over to enjoy. Stevie Turner – Friday Showcase Sally Cronin

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey with Frank Sinatra and the Texas Tommy.  On Friday William continued the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ is taking a short break but will be back next Monday with her series Spiritual Awareness.. Debby was here during the week with her terrific funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find her book review for the latest release by Carol Balawyder, a reblog of her post on Timing and a wonderful post on the art in Puerto Vallarta. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘W’. Carol is on a short blogging break but you can catch up with her Monday Musings  where she shares her thoughts on the coronation, the sad death of Jock Zonfrillo of Australian Master Chef and the anniversary of 1879 George Selden filed for the 1st patent for a gasoline-driven automobile…Carol Taylor’s Monday Musings

Toni Pike will be here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and in this week, Becoming your own best friend… a very important relationship.

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey with Frank Sinatra, The Texas Tommy

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall – The 1990s

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – ‘W’ for Wakame, Wasabi, Walnuts, Watercress, and Wax Beans

Podcast #Poetry – Advancing Years, Ageism, Memories by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Two – The Teen Years and outside influences by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Immune System and a Chicken Sandwich by Sally Cronin

#Mystery #Thriller – A Killer Strikes: (A Shade Darker Book 1) by Georgia Rose

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Psychologicalthriller – Means to Deceive by Alex Craigie

#Coronation Janet Gogerty, #Tribute Janet Weight Reed, #Review Ritu Bhathal, #Sofas Silly Old Sod, #Homonyms Harmony Kent, #Review Carla Loves to Read

New Book on the Shelves – #Fantasy – BROKEN TIES: Book 2 Realms of the Mist by Jude Itakali

#Memoir #History – You Can Take The Girl From The Prairie: Stories about growing up on the Canadian prairies by Darlene Foster

#Murder #Mystery – Death by Surfboard (Holly Swimsuit Mystery Book 3) by Susie Black

#Crime #Mystery – Her Scorched Bones: An Australian Outback Crime Novel (Opal Fields Book 3) by Fiona Tarr

#YA #Travel #Adventure Darlene Foster, #Childrens #Dogs #SouthAfrica Patricia Furstenberg, #Childrens #Bears Sue Wickstead

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Cats revolting and Rehabilitation

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Demanding Dogs and Smart Cats

 

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you will join me again next week… Sally

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Demanding Dogs and Smart Cats

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness: Timing – of people and events in our lives

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Smart Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, “What can your cat do?”

The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave

 

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Cats revolting and Rehabilitation

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness: Timing – of people and events in our lives

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Rehabilitation

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a
problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

They say, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a
moment.

“You know”, he said, “I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and
read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Job.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying… that phrase…in no time.”

“Thank you”, the woman responded, “this may very well be the
solution.”

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, “Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered.”

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – May 1st – 7th 2023 – The Coronation, Family Photographs, Big Band Era, Guest Columns, Podcast, Book Reviews and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you have had a good week. We have enjoyed some sunshine but also some high winds which meant our blossom was short lived…

I am watching the Coronation in bursts on YouTube over the next couple of days. We don’t have television and only watch downloaded shows and films from Netflix or other streaming sites. I get my news from the various international papers I follow on a regular basis and to be honest I find that means I manage how much bad news I am exposed to on a daily basis.

Anyway back to the Coronation and currently the BBC coverage I am watching has racked up 4.4 million views since yesterday. I would imagine that would be mainly international by those who don’t have access to UK TV.   If you would like to watch the short highlights you can find them here Coronation Highlights the full length 7hrs 30 min BBC Coverage is Here.

Personally I am all for a monarchy as I feel it is a permanent and consistent reminder of our heritage and history which our revolving governments cannot provide. I know there are critics and certainly some members are not as contributory to the role as they might be and take advantage of their position. But, seeing the outpouring of support and joy at the processions and the events taking place, it is a much needed celebration after Covid and the loss of Her Majesty the Queen.

On the home front I have been working though probably a thousand or more photographs, cataloguing and filing so I know what we have. Some of the photos go back over 100 years and also includes a photo of one of my great-grandmothers on my mother’s side. Wonderful to revisit the family photos taken on our times overseas with my father but also our own travels in the last 43 years. Definitely a walk down memory lane and some possible inspirations for short stories in the future.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Benny Goodman, Larry Clinton and the Hokey Cokey…  On Friday William shared the first part of the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here on Monday with a post in the Spiritual Awareness series and this time an exploration of Timing of the arrival of peole in our lives or events. Debby also found some great funnies to share with you. On her own post you will find her book review for the poignant collection Grief Songs by Elizabeth Gauffreau, and a reminder of her post on Automatic Writing and her recent guest post on Intuition. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘W’. On her own blog Monday Musings Carol shares what I consider to be an amazing breakthrough mobile 3D dissolvable vaccine patches, a poignant ceremony to honour the unknown dead in Thailand, in The Green Kitchen a sobering look at the statistics for cancer, and the impact that has on Carol’s own family, fueling her passion about cooking from scratch and sustainability. Also food waste and how to make tasty chips using potato peelings in an air fryer. Also a wonderful recipe for Spicy red curry, Pork, Rice and Coconut Balls using up your cold cooked rice and an interesting use of egg shells and bananas to help your garden grow. In Thursday Thoughts the fascinating story of Lady Dai… a mummy who is in excellent condition despite her age and who might have been embalmed with a combination of ingredients that clearly have magical properties. Head over to check on all of the posts CarolCooks2 weekly roundup…30th April-6th May 2023

Delighted to welcome Toni Pike to the team on Wednesday and then every two weeks with her series on Personal Power and in her first post, Self Valuation… something we are not necessarily very good at…

..Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1930s/40s – Benny Goodman with Helen Forrest, Larry Clinton and Bea Wain, Hokey Pokey/Cokey

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part One

Spiritual Awareness – Timing by D. G. Kaye

Author Toni Pike joins us with a series on Personal Power and how we can be in control of our lives with regard to relationships and our own well-being.

Personal Power – Self-Validation by Toni Pike

Podcast #Poetry – Rain and The Power of Trees by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part One – Childcare costs and socialisation issues, School bullying by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Immune System and our role in its efficiency by Sally Cronin

New Book on the Shelves – #Crime #Thriller – Restless Mayhem (The Mayhem Series Book 6) by Sue Coletta

#PostApocalyptic #SciFi – Once Upon a Time in the Swamp by C.S. Boyack

#Crime – Remember No More ( D.S. Kite Mysteries) by Jan Newton

Book Reviews – Round up April 2023 – #Contemporary #Thriller Lisette Brodey, #Thriller WWII Allan Hudson, #Media #Memoir Alison Ripley Cubitt, #Mystery Gwen Plano, #Shortstories Joan Hall, #Thriller Lee Child, #Fantasy Nicholas Conley

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Memoir #Flash Pamela S. Wight, #Shortstories Beem Weeks, #Romance Staci Troilo

#Fantasy D.Wallace Peach, #Shortstories Joan Hall, #Romance #Paranormal Jan Sikes

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Dog Collars and Holidays

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Driving Lessons and Cats and pills

 

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you will join me again next week.. stay safe.. Sally