Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 2023 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – #Marriage and #Fottles


Author Daniel Kemp has been entertaing us over the last three years with his funnies on his Facebook page and head over to follow Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

Married Life

Growing old the way on your own terms.

Getting to grow old!

And a couple of gems from Danny’s archives

Simple Maths

Sunderland, England.

The owner of a working men’s club along the coast was confused about paying a discounted invoice so he decided to ask his secretary for some arithmetical assistance.

He called her into his office and said, “Betty, you graduated at the University of Sunderland and I need some help. If I was to give you £20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Inventions.

I went to the Patent Office to register some of my camping inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, “A folding bottle.”

She said, “Okay, what do you call it?”

“A Fottle.”

“What else do you have?”

“I have also invented a folding carton.”

Again she said, “what do you call it?”

“A Farton.”

She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products, and one of them sounds kind of crude.”

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Margaritas and Regrets


Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some excellent foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Learning to trust your intuition

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

In the dock

Clerk: Prisoner at the bar, how do you plead, guilty or not guilty?
Accused: How can I tell till I’ve heard the evidence?

Accused: As the Lord is my judge, I am not guilty.
Judge: He’s not, I am, you are, six months.

Judge: you have been found not guilty of robbery and can leave the court without a stain on your character.
Accused: Great! Does that mean I can keep the money?

Regrets

A man is visiting the cemetery when his attention is drawn to another man kneeling at a grave. The man keeps repeating, ‘Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?

After several minutes the first man approaches him and says, ‘Excuse me, I don’t wish to disturb you, but for whom do you grieve so deeply?

The second man wipes his eyes and replies, ‘My wife’s first husband.’

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 16th – 22nd January 2023 – George Shearing, Big Band Era, Intuition, Culinary ‘O’ foods and terms, New Releases, Book Reviews, The Brain, Bloggers Spotlight and Funnies


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed in the last week here on Smorgasbord.

Not a great deal to report this week that is newsworthy but thank goodness for the blog which has kept me out of mischief… well almost! The weaher has turned a little warmer the last couple of days and I notice the first signs of the primroses under the hedge poking their heads about ground. I hope they are not being overly keen and I am sure some more frosts to come.

On the blog front.. delighted to say that quite a few bloggers have signed up for the new series of post from the archives and you will begin to see those posts beginning Tuesday. So if you would like me to share two posts from your archives from July- December 2022 then here are the details. #NewSeries January 2023- ‘Lucky Dip’ and Do You Trust Me??

Don’t forget to email me if you have a new release in the next few weeks so I can help spread the news. sally.cronin@moyhill.com. If you are new to the blog then I will let you know what I need… if you have been featured before I just need the Amazon link.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week to celebrate the Big Band Era Ethel Waters, Duke Ellington and the Jitterbug. Also the next post on Friday with the life and music of Sir George Shearing.  You can also find William Blog– IMPROVISATIONWilliam Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here on Monday with an exploration of Intuition… and during this past week joined me for a laughter post.  On her own blog you will find her Sunday Book Review for Death and its Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Beautiful Lessons by therapist Becky Aud-Jennison.  Also a link to Debby’s two latest podcast.

Debby is heading off to Mexico for two months on her annual migration to warmer climes but I will be sharing some posts from her archives on her Monday slot in the meantime. She will be back in April with more of her Spiritual Awareness posts. Follow the link to Debby’s posts D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘O’. Over on her own blog you will find Monday Musings on Rhinos and natural antibiotics, On Thursday thoughts you can discover some interesting facts such as the first hot air balloon flight in the 18th century.  You can catch up with the news: Carol Taylor’s Weekly Round Up 21st January

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…..

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin 1930s – Ethel Waters, Duke Ellington and The Jitterbug

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Sir George Shearing – The Collaborations

Spiritual Awareness – Learning to Trust Your #Intuition by D. G. Kaye

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – ‘O’ for Oats, Offal, Octopus, Oranges and Oysters.

Podcast #Poetry #Flash Fiction – Waiting for Spring and Good Morning Your Eminence by Sally Cronin

Smorgasbord Public Relations for Authors Recycled – Part Three – Hitting the Red Carpet

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Brain – Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease by Sally Cronin

#Review – #Romance #Novella – Pour It On ( Keystone Couples) by Staci Troilo

#Forgottenwords Marcia Meara, #Booktitles Pamela Wight, #Reviews Diana Peach, #2022reads D.L. Finn, #Salad New Vintage Kitchen, #Frost John Howell.

#Suspense #Romance Tall Pines Sanctuary by Sharon K. Connell

#Contemporary #Suspense #Loss #Love – All That Was Taken by Lisette Brodey

#YA #Fantasy – Dream Walker: Book 5 in ‘The Council of Twelve’ Series A.J. Alexander

#Techno #Thriller What Comes Before (Heirs And Descendants Book 3) by Daniel Kemp

Host Malcolm Allen – January 2023 – Bird Power and Weighing Scales

Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Notes to Self and Definitions

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week… be safe… Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Notes to Self and Definitions


Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some excellent foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Learning to trust your intuition

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Some Definitions

Abundance – A dance in a bakery
Apex – A gorilla’s old girlfriend
Blood Brother – A vampire’s relative
Buttress – a female goat
Catastrophe – First prize in a cat show
Denial – A river in Eygpt
Fjord – A Norwegian car
Grammar – a female grandparent
Inkling – a small pen
Jubilant – a celebrating ant
Offal – something dreadful
Optical – itchy eyes
Polygon – a dead parrot
Syntax – a collection in church

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Host Malcolm Allen – January 2023 – Bird Power and Weighing Scales


Delighted to share the latest funnies from Australia and around the world shared by author Malcolm Allen

 

Many thanks to Malcolm for sharing his humour with us.

About Malcolm Allen

The author was born in London UK and experienced a challenging childhood, leaving school with no academic qualifications at the age of 15. He had mixed fortunes in his early working days but managed to secure a job in the banking industry at the age of 19. During a period of 32 years he enjoyed a demanding and successful career in London, the pinnacle of which was becoming a Company Director at the age of 37. Following a life changing experience in November 1998 he emigrated to Perth, Western Australia in September 2001, relocating to his current home in Melbourne, Australia in November 2015.

Thanks for dropping in today Sally and hope you are leaving with a smile on your face..

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – January 9th – 15th 2023 – Wind, Big Band Era, Podcast,The Brain, PR for Authors, New books, Reviews, Funnies


Welcome to the round up of posts from the week you might have missed on Smorgasbord.

Greetings from wild and windy Ireland, and considering around 23% of Ireland’s electricity comes from wind power, I should say this week they have more than enough to spare! Ice is coming in for the next two to three days and being rural the roads tend to stay frosty until enough traffic has passed over them. So I am off to do the shopping this morning and get it out of the way. I know there are many others knee deep in snow at the moment and we get off lightly, particularly here on the east coast so no complaints just an extra layer of thermals.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week to celebrate the Big Band Era with Duke Ellington and Frank Sinatra and one of the dance crazes of the age The Cakewalk. Also the second post on Friday with the life and music of Sir George Shearing.  You can also find William Blog– IMPROVISATIONWilliam Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ will be here on Monday with an exploration of Intuition… and during this past week joined me for two laughter posts. Over on her own blog you will find her review for the fantastic upcoming release Sisters by Judith Barrow and a bumper monthly writer’s links . Follow the link to Debby’s posts D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘O’. Over on her own blog you will find Monday Musings on Chocolate and Jogging, in the Green Kitchen a fascinating visit to a local organic farm and ways to use stale bread and Thursday Thoughts with a fantastic soup recipe and an interesting piece about lithium battery alternatives.  You can catch up with the news: CarolCooks2 weekly roundup…8th-14th January 2023

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…..

– The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin 1930s – Duke Ellington and Leo Reisman with Frank Sinatra

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Sir George Shearing – Into the 1940s

#Poetry #Flash Fiction – New Year’s Resolutions and Fire

Since this series began in January 2018 there have been over 1250 Posts from Your Archives where bloggers have taken the opportunity to share posts to a new audience… mine.

The topics have ranged from travel, childhood, recipes, history, family and the most recent series was #PotLuck where I shared a random selection of different topics. This series is along the same lines… but is a ‘Lucky Dip’

In this series I will be sharing posts from the last six months of 2022

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -#NewSeries January 2023- ‘Lucky Dip’ and Do You Trust Me??

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Brain – Development from conception to old age by Sally Cronin

Public Relations for Authors Recycled- Part Two – Author Biographies -Tips and Translations

#FamilySaga – Sisters by Judith Barrow

Book Review – #Romance #Family – Searching for Home by Jill Weatherholt

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Children’s – Amazing Matilda: A Monarch’s Tale by Bette A. Stevens

New Book on the Shelves – #YA #History #Timetravel – Patches through Time by Sian Turner

Menagerie: A Collection of Thirteen #Mystery, #Suspense, and Contemporary Short Stories by Joan Hall

New Book on the Shelves – #Fantasy – Mystical Greenwood (One with Nature Book 1) by Andrew McDowell

Smorgasbord Blogger Spotlight 2023 – #Sisters Judith Barrow, #Health D.G. Kaye, #Reviews Jacquie Biggar, #Peace Rebecca Budd, #NewYear Liz Gauffreau, #OddBirds Cindy Knoke

Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Healthy Eating and Alternative Book Titles

Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Biker’s arms and Interpretive dancing

 

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. be safe… Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Biker’s arms and Interpretive dancing


Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some excellent foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

 

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Karma

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Some alternative book titles Part Two

My Political Memoirs by Lisa Lott
Pain and Sorrow by Ann Guish
Primary School by L.M. Entrée
Road Transport by Laurie Driver
Show Jumping by Jim Carner
Swimming the Channel by Frances Near
The Burglar by Robin Banks
The Cannibals Daughter by Henrietta Mann
The Haunted Room by Hugo First
The World of Hairdressing by Aaron Floor
The Worst Journey in the World by Ellen Back
Try and Try Again by Percy Vere
Wait for Me by Isa Cummin
When does Learning End? by Wendy Beligoes
Willie Won by Betty Wont.

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Healthy Eating and Alternative Book Titles


Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some excellent foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Karma

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Some alternative book titles Part One

A Clifftop Tragedy by Eileen Dover
A Young Man’s Guide to Dating by Caesar Titely
At the South Pole by Ann Tarctic
Better Gardening by Anita Lawn
Bubbles in the Bath by Ivor Windy-Bottom
Carpet Laying by Walter Wall
Dating Period Furniture by Anne Teak
Diary of a Bank Robber by Hans Upp
Everyday Recipes for Garlic by Y.I. Malone
Escape to the Forest by Lucinda Woods
How to win the Derby by Rhoda Winner
Improve Your Memory by Ivor Gott
Influenza by Mike Robe
Jungle Fever by Amos Quito
Keeping Cheerful by Mona Lott

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – January 2nd – 8th 2023 – New Series, PR Authors, Big Band Era, Sir George Shearing, Karma, Culinary A-Z, Podcast, Book Reviews, The Brain, Funnies


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

It has been a pretty wild and windy week here and it seems the weather has been hitting most places with some unseasonal variations. I don’t want to wish my life away, especially when there is less in front that behind me, but an early spring would be appreciated.

Life has got back to normal after the holidays but we do have a few celebrations in the family to look forward to in the next few months. We have found one or two spots that we frequent in the area and looking forward to catching up with my two sisters in February in the UK after three years as we have some milestone birthdays between us.

On the blog front, a new series of Posts from Your Archives begins soon with the promotional post on Wednesday, a chance for bloggers to share two of their posts from the last six months of 2022… the catch being that I get to choose them. An opportunity to perhaps connect with a few more people.

There are several new books scheduled throughout January and if you do have a new release please let me know by emailing me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com so I can get you in the diary. If you have featured before I have all your details and just need the Amazon link, if you are new to the promotions then we can chat about that after you email me.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week to celebrate the Big Band Era and the dance crazes of the age and the start of a new series on Friday with the life and music of Sir George Shearing.  You can also find William Blog– IMPROVISATIONWilliam Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here on Monday with an exploration of Karma… and also joined me for the laughter post. Over on her own blog you will find her review for Ida: Searching for the Jazz Baby by Frank Prem, and a post reminding us to take care of our physical, mental and emotional care, especially during highly emotional life events. Follow the link to Debby’s posts D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here this week with her Culinary A-Z and the letter ‘N’. Over on her own blog you will find her first post of the new year Monday Musings with some goals she has planned for the year, on the Thursday Thoughts there is a reminder of soups.. always warming at this time of year and Carol’s plans to cut back on blogging while she focuses on her two cookbooks. You can catch up with the news: CarolCooks2 weekly roundup…2nd-7th January 2023

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…..

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin 1930s – Earl Burtnett and Cab Calloway

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Sir George Shearing – The Early Years

Spiritual Awareness – #Karma – The Law of Cause and Effect by D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – ‘N’ is for Nicoise, Nori, Nuts, Noodles, Nettles and Naan Bread.

Mountains, Valley, Landscape

Podcast #Poetry #Flash Fiction – The Long Drop and Key Lime Pie by Sally Cronin

Humanlobes-1-72dpi

Smorgasbord Health Column 2023 – The Body our Greatest Asset – The Brain- Introduction and Anatomy by Sally Cronin

Public Relations for Authors Recycled- Part One – People buy People First – Profile Photo

Smorgasbord Blogger Spotlight 2023 – #history Robbie Cheadle, #Funnies The Story Reading Ape, #Opportunities Marcia Meara, #Review Olga Nunez Miret, #Priorities Pete Springer, #Connections Jennie Fitzkee

#Romance – Unbranded (Montana Bred Series 1) by Linda Bradley

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Children’s – Barty Barton: The Bear That Was Loved Too Much by Sue Wickstead

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Nutcracker and Long Flights

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Nutcracker and Long Flights


Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some New Year foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Karma

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Consequences…

A doctor and a lawyer crash into each other in a country lane. Neither is hurt, but the cars are a mess. Seeing that the doctor is a bit dazed, the lawyer offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts the drink gratefully, taking a big swig and hands it back to the lawyer who puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you going to have one?’ the doctor asks. ‘I’ll have one later,’ says the lawyer, when the police have gone.’

Long flight

An aeroplane is just a couple of hours into a transatlantic flight when the captain announces, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is no cause for alarm. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.’

A few minutes later the captain comes on the intercom again.’Another engine has failed. The flight will now take an additional two hours, but we can still fly on two engines.’ Thirty minutes later the captain takes to the airwaves again. ‘One more engine has failed and the flight will now take an additional three hours. There is no cause for alarm, we still have one engine left.’

At this point one of the passengers turns to the woman sitting beside him and mutters in annoyance, ‘If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!’

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.