Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 29th May – June 4th 2023 – Big Band Era, Personal Power, ABBA, Podcast, Book Reviews, Health and Humour

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope your week has gone well. There has been glorious sunshine here and knowing how unpredicable our summers can be, we have been making the most of it. The fledgling starlings having stuffed themselves at the Birdseed Cafe and Spa, are now disappearing for most of the day, just popping in for a bath and a drink. With nearly 10 days without rain there is little standing water around and so our two baths have to be filled at least three times a day to keep up with demand. When I sit outside they ignore me and it is quite the sight watching their antics.

I have a very special lunch on Friday which I will tell you about next week… delighted to be meeting up in person with a talented children’s author and friend to many of us in the writing community.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Lionel Hampton, Glenn Miller and the Conga…On Friday William began a new series…introducing the members of ABBA..You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ will be here with her series Spiritual Awareness on Monday exploring the spirit of those who have passed and how we might notice them in our lives Signs, Synchronicity, and Energy . On her own blog you will find her Sunday Book Review for Shoe Addicts Anonymous by Beth Harbison, a perfect summer read especially for shoe lovers. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with the first in her Green Kitchen series running every three weeks to the end of the year. Carol has returned from Australia and you can enjoy some of her adventures and photographs in her Monday Musings and have a grand tour of Grenada, the Spice Island in her A-Z Cuisines of the World.. Head over to enjoy Cuisines of the World Grenada..

Toni Pike was here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and this week, Don’t Give Your Power Away…it certainly got people sharing their own experiences. Head over to check out Toni Pike’s Books

On with the show….

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Lionel Hampton, Glenn Miller, The Conga

William Price King Meets the Legends – ABBA – Part One -Meet the Group.

Personal Power – Don’t Give Your Power Away #healing by Toni Pike

Podcast Rewind – Tales from the Garden – The Sanctuary by Sally Cronin

– Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Rejection – A Fact of Life Part Two – Preparing for Adulthood by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Circulatory System – Part Three – The Healthy Eating Plan by Sally Cronin

Book Review – #PostApocalyptic #SciFi – Once Upon a Time in the Swamp by C.S. Boyack

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Multigenre – Comes this Time to Float: 19 Short Stories by Stephen Geez

Book Review Round Up May 2023 – #Dystopian #Scifi C.S. Boyack, #Shortstories D.L. Finn, #Memoir Darlene Foster, #Thriller Georgia Rose, #Crime Jan Newton

New Book on the Shelves – #Scifi The Final View (The View from Here Trilogy Book 3) by Leon Stevens

#Murder #Paranormal – I Remember Everything by Richard Dee

#Pilgrims #History Noelle Granger, #Fantasy #Africa Chris Hall, #Memoir #Cancer Miriam Hurdle

#Memoir #Teaching Pete Springer, #Butterflies Bette A. Stevens, #Flyingboats #WWII Jemima Pett

Blogger Spotlight 2nd June 2023 – #Genres #Links Traci Kenworth, #Guestpost Marcia Meara, #Review Olga Nunez Miret, #Graffiti Rebecca Budd, Review Harmony Kent

Laughter Lines Extra – Host Malcolm Allen – May 2023 – The Ironic and Punny Side of Life

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Aged Cheese and Anagrams

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week… Sally ♥

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Rejection – A Fact of Life Part Two – Preparing for Adulthood by Sally Cronin

In January 2016 I began a series that I was intending to publish as a book but instead I shared on the blog in a series four years ago and I hope new readers to the blog will enjoy reading.

The R’s of Life by Sally Cronin

The title came about as I dipped into a Thesaurus to find some words for a poem I was writing. I noticed that a great many words that reflected  key elements in our lives began with the letter ‘R’.

Last time I looked at the rejection that we can face as a child or teenager and in this post how we need help children build a robust outlook on life and their place in the world.

Rejection – A Fact of Life Part Two – Preparing for Adulthood

Building a robust emotional and mental immune system.

To build a strong physical immune system we have to be exposed to the world and its grime and germs from an early age. Nature intended that we would scrape our knees and get dirt in the wound, get stung by a bee, catch a cold and be exposed to pollen and other allergens. Germs lived liberally on the surfaces in the kitchen and in the bathroom and as we grew, our developing immune system would learn how to fight off the less dangerous varieties so that we could battle the fatal ones such as measles.

Today we have a spray cleaner that can eradicate up to 99% of all known germs…many children do not even have access to an outside environment, where they can damage themselves a little to teach their body how to fight serious disease.

And in today’s world of materialism and media advertising, combined with peer pressure, it is very hard to build a strong and resilient mental and emotional immunity.

We are encouraged to tell our children how beautiful they are, how talented and how they can have anything they want in the world. It is only since the increase in the reality shows such as X-Factor, The Voice, Pop Idol and such, that we get to see, not just those that actually have talent, but those who have been told they have it and don’t.

Which is more damaging? To tell a child that they are a great singer repeatedly and then to have those expectations dashed so publicly on live television or to be honest with them about their abilities. Let’s be honest; who has not laughed at the selection of no-hopers paraded before us during the auditions as ‘entertainment’ value. For a young person that initial humiliation is compounded when the episode is aired. You would have to be very thick skinned to face your school or work mates the next day.

Of course many children do have a natural talent such as singing, dancing, art, but it rarely develops into a career without dedicated training and endless practice. An overnight success is a rare phenomenon and most successful artists have spent years honing their talent. Usually they have had supportive parents or mentors who have ensured that they have the opportunity to develop a skill or talent. It is a tough road for a child without this level of intervention.

But what about preparing children for life’s realities?

The truth that they will fall in and out of love and that is going to hurt. They will be turned down for the school football team or fail to get the part in the school play. They might not get A + on all their exams despite doing the best that they can.

The fact is that some of us are not academically minded, however clever our parents tell us we are. And we are not told that being great at working with our hands is actually brilliant, or that all of us have strengths that can be developed so that our weaknesses are not as apparent.

I know that there are many of you reading this who have great kids who are well adjusted and who understand that life is not always fair. Kids who understand that overnight success is very rare and that most genuine and successful artists, business people, doctors and other professionals have studied and worked very hard to get to that point. Including facing numerous rejections on the way.

But, as I read yet more headlines on the role models that millions of kids follow, I am not surprised that those children and young adults have such a confused expectation of life.

They see young men and women, and even families who have created their wealth and fame by being media influencers and in some cases, flaunting bad behave for the cameras. That is not to say that some are not astute business minds using their ‘fame’ to sell their products.

Many kids do not see that these so called perfect bodies and faces have been ‘enhanced’ by surgery and therefore unattainable for the majority of us. They also do not comprehend the price to be paid for that fame, in the form of rejection by much of society, and a breakdown of their relationships that are under such intense media scrutiny.

It is not all down to their parents not preparing them for rejection, nor the media which forces its way into our homes 24/7. Our current education system is also compounding the problem by treating the majority of children as as a future academic. Grooming them to apply and be accepted by colleges that have been re-titled ‘Universities’ to take degrees in subjects that will never provide them with a job in the real world.

I have interviewed hundreds of applicants during my career in industry, at all entry levels, and in the last forty years there has been an epidemic of young people who might be clever enough to take a degree, but have little to offer in the workplace. Many assume that a degree qualifies them to enter an organisation in a mid-level position in a managerial role that actually requires a completely different set of vital skills.

Rejection for jobs applied for by graduates is summed up in the following article Brian Kim – Why college graduates can’t get a job

1. Increased competition.
2. Little or no work experience.
3. No skills
4. Lack of networking
5. No preparation on the resume and cover letter.
6. No interview skills
7. No weapon x
8.  No follow up
9.  Quitting too easily
10.  A lack of people skills

According to an article in The Daily Telegraph, a third of working graduates took jobs as cleaners, office juniors and road sweepers six months after leaving university! Thousands of new graduates out of work

That is thousands of young people that have been sold a false and potentially devastating expectation.

To me this is one of the most calculated and deplorable forms of rejection that is perpetrated over an extended period from the age of four when a child enters school and then for the next twenty years depending on secondary education and further education attendance. All children deserve the opportunity to do well and learn, but if they do not fit into the rigid limits of the state designated curriculum, then they are not offered viable opportunities to thrive and go onto be able to find work they can excel at.

For those graduates who are in sectors that actually require a degree such as the law, medicine, engineering and other sciences there is still the uncertainty of finding employment within those sectors, but if they are lucky, they will find entry level positions that pay a decent salary. After three years that is likely to increase to an average of £30,000 depending on their specialisation or increased demand for their services. Emolument.com

But a degree is not the only way to achieve a fulfilling and successful career.

A qualified plumber after his apprenticeship can expect a salary of £45,000 a year and that can increase dependent on specialised skills and increasing demand for their services. Career salaries UK

There are some essential well paid trades that are crying out for young people to train for.

• Where are the apprenticeships such as the one my father completed 80 years ago that led to a highly successful career in the Royal Navy?
• Where are the trade schools and technical colleges such as the one I attended to get my diploma and enabled me to walk into a good job and progress up the ladder to senior management?

What we have done is set thousands of young people up for rejection as they flood the market with qualifications that will never get them jobs they have been led to expect would be waiting for them.

Not only that, the average student will leave university with a student loan to be repaid, and thousands of pounds in debt.

This post is about rejection and as I have already stated, there is no getting away from it any age. Those of us who have spent years having our expectations challenged, occasionally met and sometimes exceeded, can roll with the punches.

My concern for the future is that we are doing our young a great disservice. We are failing to provide them with the life skills they need to be self-sufficient and responsible, not just for their own futures but of the families they will have one day. Whilst we are focused on getting students through to higher education we are leaving a trail of rejected young people who are not being given the necessary education in the basic skills that might get them into work. They face repeated rejections when they do attempt to find work and then find themselves rejected by society when they are reliant on welfare.

Of course there is an argument that there are manual labour jobs that anyone can do. But, is that really true? You still have to get through the interview process and anyone who applies who has the basic ability to read and write, is going to get the job ahead of someone who is functionally illiterate. Because there are still forms to complete and possibly written elements to the interview and required in the position.

Also with the developing technology, many trade related jobs require far more skills than just literacy.

 

How many applicants who cannot read or write are going to be brave enough to apply when it may identify this basic lack of education?

‘ 8.5 million people in the UK, can be described as having ‘very poor literacy skills.’

They can understand short straightforward texts on familiar topics accurately and independently, and obtain information from everyday sources, but reading information from unfamiliar sources, or on unfamiliar topics, could cause problems. Literacy Trust

The future

I believe there needs to be a concentrated focus on reading and writing in the early years at primary school. A child at that age has a brain like a sponge and can absorb huge amounts of information.

We need more dedicated teachers and smaller classes and money spent on education that is now spent in areas such as wokery and in some cases overseas aid.

Charity begins at home and 8.5 million people leaving the school system without basic literacy qualifies in my book. Incidentally the figure quoted when I first posted this series was 6.9 million. An increase in 1.6 million functionally illiterate adults in a country the size of the UK has to be setting off alarms…SURELY.

Apart from being able to read and write some of the courses at school that I consider to be essential are rarely on the curriculum. One of these is domestic science for both boys and girls ,and when I left school 54 years ago, I knew how to prepare three square meals a day and a basic knowledge of nutrition. Something that both girls and boys would benefit from as they head out into the world.

Perhaps the fast food industry would veto a return to this as part of a child’s education but in my book they should be spending some of their profits on sponsoring it!

Also in my opinion…selected ‘universities’ should be reverted back to technical colleges, and they should be offering a wide range of courses for girls and boys that provide diplomas for essential jobs within the community such as home care assistants and teaching assistants.  A degree can always be studied for if a student wishes to advance to a higher grade.

We need to give those kids who have been rejected, because of a lack of academic skills, their chance to make a mark in life and become productive citizens of the future.

Finally on the subject of rejection. Not only are we on the receiving end of rejection but we also hand it out, often thoughtlessly.

Letting down someone gently is not always possible depending on the circumstances but wherever possible a rejection should be honest and couched in terms that leaves the recipient with some dignity and a way to move forward.

And if you are rejected..

• What have you learned?
• What are the positive things you will take from the experience?
• What changes do you need to make to your behaviour or skills to reduce the chances of being rejected next time?

Because there will be a next time.. and a next time until you succeed.
Images Pixabay.com

@Sally Cronin 2023

I have enjoyed a nomadic existence living in eight countries including Sri Lanka, Malta, South Africa, USA and Spain, before settling back here in Ireland. My work, and a desire to see some of the most beautiful parts of the world in the last forty years, has taken me to many more incredible destinations around Europe and Canada, and across the oceans to New Zealand and Hawaii. All those experiences and the people that I have met, provide a rich source of inspiration for my stories.

After a career in customer facing roles in the hospitality, retail, advertising and telecommunications industry, I wrote and published my first book in 1999 called Size Matters, about my weight loss journey, losing 150lbs in 18 months.  This has been followed by 15 further fiction and non-fiction books, including a number of short story collections.

Having trained as a nutritional therapist I opened my own dietary advisory centre in Ireland in 1998 until 2002. My first book release resulted in a radio interview in Spain that led to four years as a nutritional consultant for an English language station, and this was followed by four years with my own health show and Sunday morning show on local radio station in the UK and then as station director, newsreader and presenter for an online television station.

As important as my own promotion is, I believe it is important to support others within our community. I offer a number of FREE promotional opportunities on my blog, linked to my social media. If you are an author who would like to be promoted to a new audience of dedicated readers, please contact me via my email sally.cronin@moyhill.com. All it will cost you is a few minutes of your time. Look forward to hearing from you.

Links to connect: My books and reviews – Goodreads: Sally Cronin – You can listen to podcasts on Sally Cronin on Soundcloud – Twitter: @sgc58 – Facebook: Sally Cronin – LinkedIn: Sally Cronin

Thank you for dropping in today and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – May 15th – 21st 2023 – Twitter, Starlings, The Jive, Diana Krall, Soul Mates, Zabaglione, Personal Power,Book Reviews, Health and Humour

Welcome to the round up of posts you may have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

Glad to report that the final small bits to the kitchen and the new counter top in the utility room are complete and we are back to normal which is great. I went shopping yesterday morning and when leaving the store I knew immediately that something was wrong.. I sounded like I was competing in a drag race with a revved up engine… and clearly my exhaust had cracked.. Thankfully our usual garage can take it on Monday morning… just when you think you have finished spending….. still it could be worse.

The baby starlings have fledged. They have been making a bit of a racket for the last couple of weeks in the hedges surrounding the house but on Wednesday they took flight and joined their parents at the Birdseed Cafe and Spa. They have learnt very quickly that the water bath is a fun way to play while waiting for mum or dad to fetch a dried mealy worm or seed from the buffet and the noise is horrendous, but satisfying to see such a wonderfully healthy crop of youngsters. Makes the feeding everyday, especially during the winter months worth it..Here is Mum on guard whilst two babies try out the swimming pool.

Just a note to remind those of you who have twitter accounts and whose posts were automatically uploaded there too. That option is no longer available which means that you have to manually link your posts to Twitter by using the sharing link. And readers can do likewise. Apparently to compensate they are bringing in an automatic instagram link which is great for those who are members and share a lot of photos.

I have been out and about again this week with crime writer Sue Coletta, who shares one of the stories from Variety is the Spice of Life… The Neighbourhood Watch a story of revenge with a bit of a twist at the end…

Please head over to enjoy on Sue’s blog:Short Story – The Neighbourhood Watch by Sally Cronin

Author Allan Hudson very kindly interviewed me back in 2017 along with an excerpt from Just An Odd Job Girl… this week he reshared the post and it was lovely to revisit his questions and the comments.

If you have time please head over if you missed it back in 2017: Allan Hudson with Guest Author Sally Cronin

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Artie Shaw, Coleman Hawkins and The Jive.  On Friday William finished the series featuring Diana Krall.  On Friday William begins a new series… get ready to dance… with ABBA..You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here with her series Spiritual Awareness on Monday exploring Soul Mates and Life Partners and the difference between them.. and of course Debby shared some great funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find her Sunday Book Review for The Widow by Valerie Keogh and a terrific post about Florence, Italy and the great flood of 1966 that devastated the city and its wonderful collection of artwork…and the amazing recovery operation. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with the final in the current series of A-Z of food and the letters ‘X,Y,Z’. Carol’s next series is the original Green Kitchen which will be posted every three weeks starting on June 7th. Carol has been in Australia but returning soon to her blog, but you can catch up with her archives at Carol Cooks 2

Toni Pike will be here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and this week, Don’t Give Your Power Away… something it is easy to do. Head over to check out Toni Pike’s Books

On Thursday author Daniel Kemp shared some of his off the chart funnies with us including an hysterical letter from a new army recruit in Australia…you can catch up with Danny on his website and blog The Author Danny Kemp

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Artie Shaw, Coleman Hawkins, The Jive

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part Four – 2010s and Beyond

Spiritual Awareness – Soul Mates and Life Partners by D. G. Kaye

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – X,Y,Z for Xawaash Spice, Yams and Zabaglione.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Podcast Rewind – Tales from the Garden – The Guardians of the Magic Garden by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Rejection – A Fact of Life Part One by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Circulatory System – Part Two – Common problems with blood-vessels by Sally Cronin

Book Review – In the Tree’s Shadow: A collection of stories that exist in your dreams… and nightmares by D.L. Finn

New Book on the Shelves – #WWII #Netherlands – The Girl From Huizen by Paulette Mahurin

#Crime #Alzheimer’s The Lilac Notebook by Carol Balawyder

#Motivational – Prisoners without Bars: A Caregivers Tale by Donna O’Donnell Figurski

#Nostalgia #BabyBoomers The Rat In The Python: Book 1 The Home by Alex Craigie

#Mystery #Paranormal D.L. Finn, #Malaysia #WWII Apple Gidley, #Supernatural #Adventure John W. Howell

Smorgasbord Blogger Spotlight – 26th May 2023 #Laughter Pete Springer, #Poetry Elizabeth Gauffreau, #Texting John W. Howell, #Chess Stevie Turner, #Eurovision Janet Gogerty, #Genres Jacqui Murray, #Florence D.G. Kaye

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Petty Theft and paraprosdokians

Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – May 2023 – Facebook Friends and Orchestral manoeuvres

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Rejection – A Fact of Life Part One by Sally Cronin

In January 2016 I began a series that I was intending to publish as a book but instead I shared on the blog in a series four years ago and I hope new readers to the blog will enjoy reading.

The R’s of Life by Sally Cronin

The title came about as I dipped into a Thesaurus to find some words for a poem I was writing. I noticed that a great many words that reflected  key elements in our lives began with the letter ‘R’.

Last time I explored our expectations about romance and some of the ups and downs we might experience, including this week rejection.

  Rejection – A Fact of Life

One of life’s certainties is that at some point you are going to be rejected personally or professionally. It can happen at any age and because it is a certainty, it does pay to prepare for it, or if unexpected have some strategies to cope with it.

Rejection is when you are denied something you want, love, need, desire or expect.

Real life is seldom as cut and dried, and certainly less kind when it comes to rejection. This is why you have to boost your mental immune system, the one that keeps depression, despair, low self-esteem and unhappiness at bay. We are bombarded with messages about boosting our physical immune system, by eating our five a day and by avoiding antibiotics, but if you look at the headlines in the magazines and newspapers, you would be forgiven in thinking there was a conspiracy to make you emotionally and mentally deficient.

Because being made to feel that we are not slim enough, beautiful enough, rich enough, cool enough is a form of rejection. It puts us outside a relatively small segment of our society who are considered to be the ‘It’ people.

Most of us bounce back eventually from most of life’s rejections because they happen to everyone at some point. We learn hopefully that often rejection is followed by something better at least for us.. As they say.. ‘one door closes and another door opens!’

But what about the rejections that make a much deeper impact on us at the time or throughout our lives. The rejections that can often take place before we are born resulting in a decision that leaves a child always wondering what they did wrong!

One of the first rejections a child has to face is one that cannot be prepared for and which can effect you for the rest of your life.

The one form of acceptance we should all have a right to expect is that our birth mother is not going to reject us. Unfortunately, not every birth is planned or welcomed especially if the mother is very young or in desperate circumstances. This leads to babies being put up for adoption into families who are ready and prepared for the responsibility of parenthood.

Believe it or not, adoptions for that reason are way down on where they were in the 1970s and 1980s, when there was little family planning advice or available contraceptives such as the pill.

If a young woman became pregnant up until fairly recently, it was considered shameful. Many were sent off to maternity homes where their babies were taken from them immediately as the only option open to them if they wished to remain part of society. I can remember at 16 being told in no uncertain terms, that if I became pregnant, I would be shown the door and left to my own devices… Certainly made me think twice about getting up to mischief.

Today there are a number of options available to someone who finds themselves pregnant and in most of our western countries, a welfare state to support the mother.

However, it takes two to conceive, but if the man is not willing to accept responsibility, he is the first to reject the child even before it is born. I have very strong feelings about this, as I believe that even if a couple are not together, the father should bear some of the burden of caring for the baby. It should not be a case of sow your seed and scatter!

Of course there are occasions when the mother may be uncertain of the identity of the father and that is extremely sad.

Although newborn adoption rates are way down, the number of children taken into foster care is increasing. The fact is that not every mother and father, single or otherwise, is prepared or able to bring up a child or children. Whilst the majority of children in the state’s care have been removed from a parent for one reason or another, their time within the system is still a form of rejection. By a society who feels that they are not worthy of adopting, mainly because it is newborn and toddlers who are the preferred age group.

“The number of children in care has reached a record high, with 90 young people entering the care system each day, figures show.

Amid ongoing cuts to children’s centres and local family support services, the number of looked-after children in England and Wales reached 72,670 in the 12 months to March 2017 – marking the biggest annual surge of children in care in seven years.

Campaigners said the figures highlight the urgent need for the Chancellor to use his Autumn Budget next month to address the £2bn funding gap facing children’s services by 2020, or place a growing number of children at risk”  The Independent

And thank goodness for the thousands of wonderful foster parents out there who devote their lives to taking children in and giving them love and a sense of family. Of course there are the occasional negative stories about life in a foster family, but in reality they are few and far between. However, a child in foster care often faces a lifetime of doubt and a sense of disconnection from others who grew up with birth parents.

The estimated number Of Orphans In The World

• It is estimated that there are over 100 million orphans worldwide (UNICEF).1 To give you an idea of the enormity of the numbers compare it with the population of the United States which is just a little over 325 million; or the current population of Russia -145 million. Over 100 million children would equal the combined populations of New York City, Los Angles, Chicago and 47 other of the largest cities in the USA, plus the combined populations of Ireland, Norway, Denmark, France, Greece Nicaragua and Costa Rica. These are not just numbers and statistics, these are CHILDREN! – distressed, struggling and with little hope in the world.
• According to UNICEF, almost 5700 children become orphans every day due to war, natural disaster, poverty, disease, stigma and medical needs.
• According to the World Health Organization (WHO), in 2017, 15,000 children under the age of 5 died every day; that is equivalent to 1 child every 17 seconds. 2.7 million children die every year in the first month of life.
• Every 15 seconds, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
• 60% of orphan girls will become victims of the sex trade. 10-15% or orphan children will commit suicide before age 18. 70% of orphan boys in Eastern Europe will become criminals.
• 250,000 children are adopted annually but 14,050,000 orphan children will grow up and age out of the orphan care system without ever having been part of a loving family. That means that every day 38,493 children will age out of an orphanage.2 That’s one orphan every 2.2 seconds who will leave an orphanage or foster care with no family to belong to and no place to call home. Less than 1% of all orphan children will be adopted. Who will care for the rest of the millions of orphaned, abandoned and homeless children?  Orphans LifeLine Organisation

However a child is separated from its mother, there is going to be a sense of rejection and abandonment. There can be acceptance as a child that you are with a loving adoptive family or part of a group in a foster home, but it also brings questions that may never be answered.

• Who was my mother?
• Who was my father?
• What are my origins?
• Where did I come from?
• Do I have brothers and sisters?
• Why did my mother give me up?

In many countries it is now possible for both birth parents and adopted children to petition for details of each other. Many children from the 1960s and 1970s have been reunited successfully, but others have often been rejected for the second time for a number of reasons; leaving the adopted child still without answers about their past and families.

Unfortunately, many thousands will never know their birth families and live with doubts and a sense of rejection all their lives. In the last few years with DNA testing sites opening the door to finding familial matches for genealogy purposes, the job of finding long lost relatives has become more of a reality.

Rejection by society

Another reason that children are abandoned is because they are disabled and in China for example, this is now the primary reason for a child to end up in the care system. Finding adoptive parents under these circumstances is even more challenging and many countries are not equipped to deal with long-term care of children who have to remain in the system. This leads to appalling conditions and very high mortality rates.

There have been some amazing stories recently about school children working together to support disabled classmates, especially during sporting events. These are terrific to hear about, but generally a disabled child is likely to feel outside of the group both in the classroom and playground. I produced a documentary for a Cerebral Palsy unit and visited schools where some of the centre’s children attended. The saddest thing that I saw was a ten year old boy watching from the sidelines as all his classmates played football. Not an intentional rejection but just young children being children and getting on with their lives.

Rejection within the birth family

Most women develop into being great mothers but some do not. Even those who plan on having a child, realise once they are mothers, that it is simply not in their make-up and behave appallingly as they resent the 24/7 job they have taken on. This is particularly so for single mothers who have made the decision to bring up their child by themselves without a strong support system in place. A young woman who finds herself isolated and with little chance of realising her expectations, and little assistance to do so. Resentment is the bedfellow of regret.

Even if a child is part of a family group they can still face rejection as they fall short of their parent’s expectations, and that rejection is very painful. It manifests itself in many ways both verbally and sometimes physically. That can undermine and determine a child’s future just as surely as if they had been dumped on the doorstep of an orphanage. In some respects even though it is not ideal, a child who is adopted is going to parents who actually want a child and accept the responsibility and give that child a loving home. There are millions of children who live with their birth families and never know that kind of security.

There are many examples of rejection where a child has very little choice about the matter.

The use of the a very important word in our vocabulary growing up.

When I was growing up I was accustomed to the word NO from a very early age. I learnt that there were certain things that I couldn’t do, say or attempt because they were either too dangerous or beyond my abilities. I was not always happy about this and it was not unknown for me to get into difficulties because I did not believe that NO meant NO. I would often find a work around that obtained the same objective. At age seven, it nearly cost me my life as I nearly drowned having defied my mother about playing on seaweed covered rocks. A good lesson that tempered my rebellious spirit somewhat.

A child pushes boundaries and it is a natural instinct. Children need to understand their limitations at a very early age otherwise it can be dangerous for them and for others.

Such as giving a firm NO to sticking their fingers into electric sockets, touching hot liquids, not running into the road and it would seem an endless list of life threatening hazards.

Back in the 1960s and 1970s there was not the money for lots of toys and to buy the latest fashions. Most clothes were home made and I also benefited from having two older sisters but like every teenager I wanted to follow the new trends. However, I went out to work part-time at 14 and from that time on I was responsible for buying my own clothes and paying for my recreation. Not all my choices met with parental approval, and I do remember arriving home one Saturday aged 16 having had my hair dyed platinum blonde in a Marilyn Monroe hairstyle and my father burying his head in his hands…lol.

But at that time, apart from envying Lulu and Twiggy their freedom to wear mini-skirts, there was little in the way of advertising on television or even in the magazines; so we were simply not exposed to the media in the same way. Consequently our expectations about our future were much simpler and usually attainable.

Today it is very different and it is a nightmare for parents who have children who are bombarded daily with messages about the latest phones, sneakers, music, video games and other must haves. It must be very difficult to keep saying NO when it would seem that proving your love for a child comes with a price tag. If a child keeps getting what it wants without too much effort except a little emotional blackmail and nagging it becomes embedded in their nature.

Get into their teens and there is an expectation that they can have everything they want. They watch the reality shows like the X-Factor and see kids of their own age getting the attention and possible fast track to fame, and they expect that short-cut as well.

YES is the word that they want to hear and because they do not understand the concept of NO.. they are totally unprepared for the rejection that happens to us all.

This is evident when you listen to a seventeen year old who is in tears because they have been rejected by the judges and worse still by the public… ‘I’ve wanted this all my life, I don’t know what I am going to do now.’ You only have to read about the twenty-five year olds who did get through, who are now burnt out and finding it impossible to deal with their moment of fame that is now fading.

Images Pixabay.com

@Sally Cronin 2023

Next time in part two, how our inability to cope with rejection in our lives impacts in adulthood.

I have enjoyed a nomadic existence living in eight countries including Sri Lanka, Malta, South Africa, USA and Spain, before settling back here in Ireland. My work, and a desire to see some of the most beautiful parts of the world in the last forty years, has taken me to many more incredible destinations around Europe and Canada, and across the oceans to New Zealand and Hawaii. All those experiences and the people that I have met, provide a rich source of inspiration for my stories.

After a career in customer facing roles in the hospitality, retail, advertising and telecommunications industry, I wrote and published my first book in 1999 called Size Matters, about my weight loss journey, losing 150lbs in 18 months.  This has been followed by 15 further fiction and non-fiction books, including a number of short story collections.

Having trained as a nutritional therapist I opened my own dietary advisory centre in Ireland in 1998 until 2002. My first book release resulted in a radio interview in Spain that led to four years as a nutritional consultant for an English language station, and this was followed by four years with my own health show and Sunday morning show on local radio station in the UK and then as station director, newsreader and presenter for an online television station.

As important as my own promotion is, I believe it is important to support others within our community. I offer a number of FREE promotional opportunities on my blog, linked to my social media. If you are an author who would like to be promoted to a new audience of dedicated readers, please contact me via my email sally.cronin@moyhill.com. All it will cost you is a few minutes of your time. Look forward to hearing from you.

Links to connect: My books and reviews – Goodreads: Sally Cronin – You can listen to podcasts on Sally Cronin on Soundcloud – Twitter: @sgc58 – Facebook: Sally Cronin – LinkedIn: Sally Cronin

Thank you for dropping in today and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 15th – 20th May 2023 – New Kitchen, Collaborators, Diana Krall, Personal Power, Podcast, Circulatory System, Book Reviews, Bloggers and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you are doing well and enjoyed the week.  I promised to show you some after photos on our kitchen renovations and here is the reminder of the before photos with the doors removed and before the carcasses were removed…

And here are the after photos

We are slowly putting back the various pieces of equipment and crockery etc.. It will take a few days but we are very happy with the new look.

My thanks to Maureen Twomey for her lovely feature and boost for Life is Like A Bowl of Cherries..  Maureen Twomey – Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Kate Smith, Glenn Miller with Ray Eberle and Shag Dancing.  On Friday William continued the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ will be here with her series Spiritual Awareness on Monday exploring Soul Mates and Life Partners and the difference between them.. Debby was also here with her great funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find news of her latest project in the epistolary format, this month’s writing links and her latest book review The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with the final in the current series of A-Z of food and the letters ‘X,Y,Z’. Carol is on a short blogging break but you can catch up with her Monday Musings  where she shares her arrival in Australia to visit her daughter who lives there and some great photos Monday Musing 15th May

Toni Pike was here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and this week, Becoming your own best friend… a very important relationship. Head over to check out Toni Pike’s Books

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Kate Smith, Glenn Miller with Ray Eberle, Carolina Shag dancing

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part Three – The New Millennium

Personal Power – Become Your Own Best Friend by Toni Pike

Podcast #Poetry – The Night Sky and Creatures of the Night by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Three – Romance – Expectations and Observations by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Circulatory System – Part One – How does Blood circulate by Sally Cronin

Food Snippets – Pineapple for bruises, prunes as a fat substitute

#Memoir #History – .You Can Take The Girl From The Prairie: Stories about growing up on the Canadian prairies by Darlene Foster

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Biography #WWI, Queen Victoria, #Adventures, Lucky Jack by S. Bavey

New Book on the Shelves – #Catlovers – Happiness Is A Warm Cat by Emily Gmitter and Zoe the Fabulous Feline

#Reviews Lauren Scott, #Alligators Marcia Meara, #Familytrees Story Reading Ape and Traci Kenworth, #Potato Rolls Dorothy Grover Read, #OnlyChildren Gwen Plano #StoryEmpire

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Contemporary #Romance Stevie Turner, #’Thriller #Mystery Gwen M. Plano, #WWII #Thriller Allan Hudson

#Poetry Harmony Kent, #Poetry M. J. Mallon, #Historical #Family #Romance C.E. Robinson

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Ravens and Blessings

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Sourdough and Facebook chain letter

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope you will join me again next week.. Sally.

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Three – Romance – Expectations and Observations by Sally Cronin

In January 2016 I began a series that I was intending to publish as a book but instead I shared on the blog in a series four years ago and I hope new readers to the blog will enjoy reading.

The R’s of Life by Sally Cronin

The title came about as I dipped into a Thesaurus to find some words for a poem I was writing. I noticed that a great many words that reflected  key elements in our lives began with the letter ‘R’.

Last time I looked at the teen years and the impact of disfunctional families and outside influences

 Romance – Expectations and observations by Sally Cronin

There are two people in a romantic relationship but it can influence the lives of several more.

A relationship is a two way interaction between individuals and also groups of people. It requires time, patience and tolerance. Great beginnings, particularly in romantic relationships, need to be built on so that the initial chemistry is combined with trust, respect and loyalty. It needs to become a partnership in every sense of the word; there is no room for inflated egos or dominance if it is to succeed.

Developing healthy romantic relationships is not based on a computer algorithm, but a deep-rooted need to belong that has evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. A clan provided safety from other humans and also animals, provided more effective food gathering and hunting, and made better use of individuals specific skills. The individual hearths did not only provide heat, light and the ability to cook food, but also the basis of the first families, where men and women shared the care of children by forming strong and stable relationships.

The impact of relationships on physical, mental and emotional health.

Over the years of working with men and women who have come to me looking to improve their health, it is clear that relationship issues play a huge role in in a number of key areas in our lives. This included weight loss and gain, depression and other stress related physical and mental illnesses. Most women and quite a few men that I have counselled with difficulty losing weight had very low esteem and many have projected the cause of that onto their partners.

In fact low self-esteem in this particular instance, is a combination of long-term relationship issues with both the people in our lives going back to childhood, and also the attachments we have formed to food as a source of comfort.

Our desire to change our partners into who we think they should be!

A massive influence on the strength of a relationship is acceptance. One of the major stumbling blocks in any connection we make romantically, within a friendship or a group, is the need to change the other person or people to a version that we feel more comfortable with.

There is an old joke about the woman who searched for twenty-five years for the perfect man only to find him and discover he was looking for the perfect woman!

We all have faults and are less than perfect. It is easy to say. ‘This is who I am, love me or leave me.’ However, this is where the second major influence in relationships comes in.

Compromise is not a sign of weakness, but a willingness to meet someone else half-way, combine positive traits, work on negative issues and still maintain our individual characters within the relationship.

Happiness is a much sought after commodity but unfortunately we tend to place the burden of providing that onto others in our lives. We expect others to make us happy; which is simply not acceptable.

Happiness is not just an emotion but can be an expectation that is instilled in us from childhood by our parents, fairy stories, outside influences such as the media in print, film and music. We quickly forget all the simple things that made us feel good in childhood such as playing in the sand, a day at the beach, opening our birthday presents.

As we get older we crave that feel good reaction from everything that we do including at work, in friendships and in relationships. We forget that happiness comes from within; is very individual to us and if a situation is not providing us with it, then we need to examine what we are bringing to the table.

How many times have you said ‘ I will be happy when… I have lost two stone, bought a house in the sun or won a million’?

If you explore where you are in your life right now and the relationships that you already have, you might feel that some areas are not as good as they might be, but most already give you every reason to be happy.

It is an interesting exercise to imagine what it would be like if those people, experiences or events were not in your life at all. I think most of us would be devastated to be without them.

Many people associate happiness with what they are given, be it in the form of gifts, friendship or emotions.

They fail to realise that we are far more likely to experience that sense of happiness when we are the ones that are giving and not taking. Our happiness is intensified when it is reflected in the face of others in our lives, both personally and in a work environment. The most successful relationships are those where there is a mutual giving of time, love, friendship, support and loyalty.

However, it is very important to recognise that there are times when a relationship of any kind becomes toxic and will never offer you the chance of happiness, however much you give and keep giving. The relationship becomes totally one-sided and without extreme intervention is not going to survive. I know from previous experience how easy it is to hang onto the belief that you can change the situation, but there comes a time when you do have to accept that it can no longer be sustained and that you may have to leave it behind.

Relationships are precious and need nurturing and developing if they are to survive. That applies just as much online as it does with the people in our immediate circle of family and friends. The world is changing and certainly it will be interesting in another 25 years of Internet access, to discover just how much our ability to form relationships will impacte

Happily Ever After

Have you ever wondered why the classic fairy stories that involve a beautiful farmer’s daughter, scullery maid or even a princess, who are swept off their feet by a handsome and rich stranger on a white horse; end with the words ‘And they lived happily ever after’?

It was not just because most were written by men, at a time when a woman was a chattel who cooked, cleaned and bore children. Women believed that was their role and yearned for it! The male writers of the fairy stories of the time were definitely headed off to happy ever after!

That may sound a bit cynical, but I can remember as a child being fed the propaganda. Most commonly via bedtime stories and the ‘Happy Ever After’ films that we were allowed to watch in our teen years. Disney had the whole thing down to a fine art. By the time I was sixteen and listening to the crooners of the day, I was convinced that at some point, a rich and handsome stranger was going to gallop into my life and sweep me off into a love filled paradise just made for two.

By the time I was 19 years old I had kissed a few frogs. I also thought that Prince Charming had ridden in a few times, then discovered that in reality they just as quickly rode off into the sunset. Still that is all part of growing up, but because of the indoctrination of childhood, I mistook one particular prince for the real thing.

It took me a very long seven years to extricate myself from a very destructive relationship but thankfully it did lead me to find a true ‘prince’ and we have been married for 43 years.

Every fairy story usually has a moral at its heart and for me, that was ‘All that glitters is not gold’ and fancy cars, uniforms, extravagant gestures and empty promises are not worth the paper they are written on. You can read the full fairy story in my guest post with the delightful Marcia Meara

A few observations I have made along the way.

Overuse of the ‘L’ word

I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to overusing words that are supposed to be used to express ones devotion to another.

For example….I love, sugar, salt, dogs, writing, reading, movies, music, next door’s cat, Tom Selleck, chocolate, red wine, ice-cream, strictly come dancing, buying clothes, shoes and handbags.

So how special does that make my husband feel when I tell him I love him?

Words are very easy to use and they spill from our mouths with increasing thoughtlessness to their actual meaning. Telling someone you love them all the time and expecting them to do likewise, especially when you also use the same expression for all the other ‘things’ in your life, can dilute its meaning. It is lovely to hear from time to time, especially when accompanied by an act of love that reinforces it.

It is actions that speaker louder than words and you can show how much you love someone every day without having to vocalise the emotion.

A very good reason for that loss of the bond that keeps a relationship strong is our expectations. However realistic we may think we are, we still believe that life is going to be eternally happy when we have found our prince or princess. In truth once the courting days, when we are on our best behaviour and make an effort to look great are over, we find out that perhaps we are not as suited as we thought.

Expectations for some young people are fuelled by the the constant stream of gossip about celebrities and their million pound weddings, 100k dresses and a centrefold spread in in the popular society magazines. And the fact, that they are far more likely to break up within seven years,also brings a normalcy to the temporary nature of relationships.

Particularly as it seems that it is okay to have another million pound wedding with a 100k dress and lavish party again and again. Recreating the fairy story and quite frankly tarnishing it.

It is certainly true for some that there is an expectation of instant gratification and when it looks like some hard work is needed to make a relationship work, it is easier to leave and find another short term fix.

My sympathy does lie however, with the children who seem to be dragged through the public spats and repeated matrimonials without any say in the matter; and you can only wonder what it does to their perception of love and romance!

As I mentioned earlier in the post, having found a perfect match… many set out to make some changes to suit even more of their expectations of perfection!

It seems that once the honeymoon is over, there comes the period of adjustment when it it is permissible to change anything and everything about your new spouse, so that they conform to your idea of perfection!

Football or basketball might be more of a priority than previously thought and nights out with the girls once a week and clubbing might be tough to give up.

One of the assumptions that we make is that when we get married we will be joined at the hip and do everything together. This might be fine if you get married at 75 or 80 years old, but if you are in your twenties, you are still growing and developing.

Being married should not mean losing your individuality and there should be activities that you continue to pursue, as long as it takes your partner into consideration.. In fact over the years you will find that you begin to share more and more and that you grow more alike.

There are plenty of activities that you will share as a couple, including when children arrive; which is a wonderful but labour intensive part of a relationship. Sleepless nights and eighteen years of car-pooling and soccer practice begin to eat into time that might be set aside for romantic gestures. Certainly cash flow is usually also restricted with mortgages and college funds. Life is going to keep pushing your boundaries and if you do not have a strong bond, then it might succeed in tearing you apart.

Then there are the little things we didn’t really notice when we were in the throes of passion. Prince charming does snore, have smelly socks and breaks wind and so does his princess.

One of the most often used excuses by men for their infidelity is ‘My wife does not understand me.’ Which usually means that a wife and mother is spending all her time keeping food on the table, taking care of the children as well as holding down a job and not paying him enough attention.

The most used excuse for women for their infidelity, is that the love and romance has gone out of their marriage, and they just wanted to feel beautiful and desired. Which usually means that a man is out working in a stressful job all day, comes home and just wants to eat his meal in peace, watch the television have a beer and get some sleep.

And just a tip… let him take his coat off, have a meal and relax before you tell him the washing machine is broken.

It takes a huge amount of work to keep the various relationship elements alive and well. A lot more work than some people are willing to put in.

There is nothing wrong with ‘Contentment’

Happiness is this all encompassing emotion that is a high we all expect to achieve; and of course there are moments in your life of sheer joy. However, it is impossible to sustain that for 60 or 70 years. You would be worn out. To be honest your friends and family will be pretty weary of seeing your perpetual smiling face and happiness. It will simply be too tough for them to compete with the perfection.

It is much healthier to achieve a state of contentment, where you still make the effort to keep love and romance alive, and are able to sustain it. This is when the small gestures such as making cups of tea, holding hands in the movies, cooking a favourite meal or a date night, really come into their own.

And one of the key elements of a healthy and long relationship is the laughter.

Without that glue to keep you together, it is easy for one or both of you to descend into misery.

At the end of the day this is just my views on relationships we form and in particular romance, and certainly every couple needs to find the formula that works for them.

Next time… something most of us will experience in our lives… rejection

©Sally Cronin 2023

I have enjoyed a nomadic existence living in eight countries including Sri Lanka, Malta, South Africa, USA and Spain, before settling back here in Ireland. My work, and a desire to see some of the most beautiful parts of the world in the last forty years, has taken me to many more incredible destinations around Europe and Canada, and across the oceans to New Zealand and Hawaii. All those experiences and the people that I have met, provide a rich source of inspiration for my stories.

After a career in customer facing roles in the hospitality, retail, advertising and telecommunications industry, I wrote and published my first book in 1999 called Size Matters, about my weight loss journey, losing 150lbs in 18 months.  This has been followed by 15 further fiction and non-fiction books, including a number of short story collections.

Having trained as a nutritional therapist I opened my own dietary advisory centre in Ireland in 1998 until 2002. My first book release resulted in a radio interview in Spain that led to four years as a nutritional consultant for an English language station, and this was followed by four years with my own health show and Sunday morning show on local radio station in the UK and then as station director, newsreader and presenter for an online television station.

As important as my own promotion is, I believe it is important to support others within our community. I offer a number of FREE promotional opportunities on my blog, linked to my social media. If you are an author who would like to be promoted to a new audience of dedicated readers, please contact me via my email sally.cronin@moyhill.com. All it will cost you is a few minutes of your time. Look forward to hearing from you.

Links to connect: My books and reviews – Goodreads: Sally Cronin – You can listen to podcasts on Sally Cronin on Soundcloud – Twitter: @sgc58 – Facebook: Sally Cronin – LinkedIn: Sally Cronin

Thank you for dropping in today and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 8th – 14th May 2023 – New Kitchen, Out and About, Glenn Miller, Diana Krall, Foods ‘W’, Podcast, Book Reviews, Bloggers, Health and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you have all had a good week and have enjoyed some of the sunnier weather we have. While David began to dismantle the kitchen to speed up the process of the installation of the new one this week, I sat in the garden and caught up with reading, music and sunshine… It certainly makes a difference. One of the neighbour’s cats came and kept me company all afternoon sitting in the shade of my chair and occasional commenting on the birds and the state of the world.

Here are some ‘before’ photos of the kitchen and hopefully next week you will get the ‘after’ ones!  All these units are being taken out and so it will take a two or three days to get the job done…Our office is in the diner part of the kitchen so we will be covering everything with sheets and decamping into the dining room. I will be offline during the day but will be checking in first thing and in the evening.

A wonderful surprise on Friday to find myself featured on author Stevie Turner’s blog along with the lovely review by Robbie Cheadle for Variety is the Spice of Life.. I hope you will head over to enjoy. Stevie Turner – Friday Showcase Sally Cronin

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey with Frank Sinatra and the Texas Tommy.  On Friday William continued the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ is taking a short break but will be back next Monday with her series Spiritual Awareness.. Debby was here during the week with her terrific funnies for our laughter spot. On her own blog you will find her book review for the latest release by Carol Balawyder, a reblog of her post on Timing and a wonderful post on the art in Puerto Vallarta. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘W’. Carol is on a short blogging break but you can catch up with her Monday Musings  where she shares her thoughts on the coronation, the sad death of Jock Zonfrillo of Australian Master Chef and the anniversary of 1879 George Selden filed for the 1st patent for a gasoline-driven automobile…Carol Taylor’s Monday Musings

Toni Pike will be here on Wednesday with her series on Personal Power and in this week, Becoming your own best friend… a very important relationship.

Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1940s – Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey with Frank Sinatra, The Texas Tommy

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall – The 1990s

Carol Taylor’s – Culinary A – Z Rewind – ‘W’ for Wakame, Wasabi, Walnuts, Watercress, and Wax Beans

Podcast #Poetry – Advancing Years, Ageism, Memories by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Two – The Teen Years and outside influences by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Immune System and a Chicken Sandwich by Sally Cronin

#Mystery #Thriller – A Killer Strikes: (A Shade Darker Book 1) by Georgia Rose

Previous Reviews from 2022 – #Psychologicalthriller – Means to Deceive by Alex Craigie

#Coronation Janet Gogerty, #Tribute Janet Weight Reed, #Review Ritu Bhathal, #Sofas Silly Old Sod, #Homonyms Harmony Kent, #Review Carla Loves to Read

New Book on the Shelves – #Fantasy – BROKEN TIES: Book 2 Realms of the Mist by Jude Itakali

#Memoir #History – You Can Take The Girl From The Prairie: Stories about growing up on the Canadian prairies by Darlene Foster

#Murder #Mystery – Death by Surfboard (Holly Swimsuit Mystery Book 3) by Susie Black

#Crime #Mystery – Her Scorched Bones: An Australian Outback Crime Novel (Opal Fields Book 3) by Fiona Tarr

#YA #Travel #Adventure Darlene Foster, #Childrens #Dogs #SouthAfrica Patricia Furstenberg, #Childrens #Bears Sue Wickstead

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Cats revolting and Rehabilitation

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Demanding Dogs and Smart Cats

 

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you will join me again next week… Sally

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part Two – The Teen Years and outside influences by Sally Cronin

In January 2016 I began a series that I was intending to publish as a book but instead I shared on the blog in a series four years ago and I hope new readers to the blog will enjoy reading.

The R’s of Life by Sally Cronin

The title came about as I dipped into a Thesaurus to find some words for a poem I was writing. I noticed that a great many words that reflected  key elements in our lives began with the letter ‘R’.

Last time I looked at the early influences on babies and toddlers that would impact their ability to form healthy relationships.

This week I explore the next phase in a child’s development as they move into puberty, their teen years and into adulthood faced with outside influences

Relationships – The teen and adult years by Sally Cronin

There are millions of children who are well adjusted, coping brilliantly with school, friends and the move into secondary education. Their sights firmly fixed on a career that they are best suited for.

However, like me, I am sure that you remember that it only took one disruptive child in a class to make a difference to all the students. The one who requires the most interaction from the teacher, who never excels but always achieves the maximum attention, who is also usually the bully in the playground.

Unfortunately, they are the ones we all end up hearing about as they rampage through their school years, often absent and finding solidarity with like-minded misfits. They are also the ones who find themselves with their fifteen minutes of fame on the front pages of the newspapers.

Those who are leading productive lives and are in healthy relationships rarely get mentioned in the press if at all.

There are some troubling indications that far too many children and teenagers are growing up unable to form healthy relationships.

Here is a short extract from an article on knife crime in London, and I am sure it is reflected in many of our major cities whichever country we live in. Certainly it seems that this type of crime is on the increase

“When you speak to gang members and ex-gang members their world is totally different from ours and I think we need to understand that in order to intervene.

“The journeys of some of these young people embroiled in knife crime and gangs are quite similar. Excluded from school, no significant role model in their life, move from place to place, involved in petty crime very early on, come from a household known to social services. All those things, you look at the pattern, it’s all the same. Police have a role, but every profession, every agency has a role to play, so hopefully we intervene in the right places.”

Half of all knife crime offenders in London are teenagers or even younger children, new Met figures have revealed in a stark illustration of the scale of youth violence in the capital.
The police statistics show that 41 per cent of those being caught for knife crimes across London’s boroughs are now aged between 15 and 19.

Another 8 per cent are younger still, ranging in age from ten to 14, in a further sign of how carrying and using blades has become part of life for a minority of troubled young people.

Source:The Standard UK

Developing and maintaining relationships into adulthood.

It is tough enough to manage the many diverse relationships with will develop as we move into adulthood, without having been taught how to play well with others as a toddler and then during the early school years.

It can be extremely stressful maintaining relationships across the breadth of our connections. A bit like the performer who spins multiple plates on thin, flexible poles, running frantically around the stage keeping them from falling and smashing on the ground.

It is that stress that erodes the foundations of a relationship and causes so much heartache. Some relationships are very resilient. Especially within a family where children have grown up together and have loved, squabbled and then laughed together. However, there comes a time when we reach an age where our personalities have formed, and we begin to move into different circles of friends and the romantic relationships we discover.

If we have not had a strong sense of belonging within a family, or have had a difficult relationship with either or both of our parents, we can take baggage with us as we form these outside connections.

Our expectations of relationships are not high and so it is easy to accept less from interactions than we should.

This inability to form strong and lasting relationships is not just limited to romance but also impacts our job prospects and long-term mental, emotional and physical health.

One of the most important relationships, and often the toughest to maintain is marriage or civil partnership which is embarked on with a view to lasting a lifetime and when there are children involved a breakup can have a devastating impact on their ability to form healthy relationships.

• In 2021, there were 113,505 divorces granted in England and Wales, a 9.6% increase compared with 2020 when there were 103,592 divorces.
• The number and timelines of divorces granted during 2020 may have been affected by disruption to family court activities during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic; the increase in divorces granted in 2021 may partially reflect these delays as well as the impact of the pandemic on divorce applications.
• The majority (111,934) of divorces in 2021 were among opposite-sex couples, with 1,571 (1.4%) among same-sex couples; female couples made up 67.2% of same-sex divorces. UK Statistics 

What is not taken into account in these statistics is the 3.6 million families where parents are cohabiting without a formalised agreement, who also have their own statistics with regard to splitting up. Wikipedia

The statistics show that a cohabiting couple is three times more likely to break-up than a marriage. But the more worrying fact of this, is that there are far less legal safeguards for a single parent and their children in these circumstances.

A report identified that the UK has more single parents than almost any country in Europe, and almost one in three of them are unemployed.

“A report has found that of the 1.8million single parent households in Britain, 650,000 of them are not in any sort of work.

This has led to a situation where the average single parent household in the UK claims twice as much in benefit support as the average two-parent household.

The proportion of lone parent households in the UK is the fourth highest in the EU – behind only Estonia, Latvia and Ireland – with 24 per cent of of children being brought up by just one adult”.

More importantly a huge burden of parenting the children in these failed relationships, falls onto the shoulders of just one person, usually the mother.

There is no doubt that most single parents do their very best to ensure their children grow up with a balanced view of relationships. But I do believe that some parents do not appreciate the impact that is made on a child’s future by their actions in their own interactions with others.

Parents are role models, and the way they interact with each other, their own family members, friends and casual contacts, is under scrutiny by a child from a very early age. They learn from their mother’s and father’s knee and will take those lessons with them for their entire lives.

Recent figures indicate that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce and a larger number of cohabiting relationships end.

That does raise the question of how that impacts the views of the children about long term relationships?

How does a child, who sees a mother struggling to manage to bring them up alone, often with other siblings, see the role of a father who is absent, and therefore their future role. How has the lead up to the split, which is likely to have been acrimonious impact them?

It is not likely that it will prepare them adequately for their own relationships in the future.

And it is not only the young whose lives are fractured when a partnership ends. Although many men and women go on to remarry and have long and happy relationships, those whose marriages end in their middle years, find getting back into the dating game very tough and often spend the rest of their lives alone.

Modern relationships are complex.

The world is becoming more integrated and relationships are becoming more complex, not simpler, with the development of technology. Our concept of friendship is changing as we form more relationships online. Many are also turning to technology to find romantic attachments based on a computer algorithm. It is estimated that around 10 million British men and women look to dating sites to find their perfect match each year with that expected to rise to over 11 million by 2027. In some countries such as Japan, romantic simulations are becoming increasingly popular, as men and women form virtual relationships that take the place of human interaction.

The dynamics of romantic relationships has changed along with the technology as we have access to the rest of the world, particularly to the pseudo-celebrities.

We are now in the era of the celebrity culture, where fashion, serial relationships and what should be private, is public property.

The days of the Hollywood stars misbehaving has been overtaken by the pseudo-celebrities who do little more than remove clothing, have butt lifts and make a fortune selling their ‘brand’ to the media, as they move from fleeting public romance to the next.

It seems that while millions are dealing with devastating military invasions, famine and desperate struggles to feed their families, it is perfectly normal to flaunt your wealth and expose every detail of your life and relationships to any media willing to share it.

Having children, it would seem often, as an accessory, or to ensure that they will be taken care of for life, at the almost certain demise of their latest pseudo-relationship . And make fortunes they do, fuelled by the need of the young in particular, to have this glittering lifestyle, all without going out and working 9-5 in some boring dead end job.

It sounds harsh doesn’t it. And as I said at the beginning of this post, there are millions of wonderful young men and women entering marriage and long-term stable relationships, who will go on to be amazing parents.

But they are nowhere to be seen in the headlines. They are not the role models that the media present to the increasing percentage of young people who are desperate to find something to belong to, follow and be a part of. They have nothing to judge these wannabees against and for many this becomes their ambition to follow in their footsteps. Not just in terms of romantic relationships but in their approach to work, ambition and money.

It certainly is not be the path to them forming long term and happy relationships in the future or finding the ‘happiness’ they assume the influencers are peddling.

Next time I take a light-hearted look at romance. Well partly light-hearted, as there are some elements of this universally sought after state of bliss that can be challenging.

©Sally Cronin 2023

I have enjoyed a nomadic existence living in eight countries including Sri Lanka, Malta, South Africa, USA and Spain, before settling back here in Ireland. My work, and a desire to see some of the most beautiful parts of the world in the last forty years, has taken me to many more incredible destinations around Europe and Canada, and across the oceans to New Zealand and Hawaii. All those experiences and the people that I have met, provide a rich source of inspiration for my stories.

After a career in customer facing roles in the hospitality, retail, advertising and telecommunications industry, I wrote and published my first book in 1999 called Size Matters, about my weight loss journey, losing 150lbs in 18 months.  This has been followed by 15 further fiction and non-fiction books, including a number of short story collections.

Having trained as a nutritional therapist I opened my own dietary advisory centre in Ireland in 1998 until 2002. My first book release resulted in a radio interview in Spain that led to four years as a nutritional consultant for an English language station, and this was followed by four years with my own health show and Sunday morning show on local radio station in the UK and then as station director, newsreader and presenter for an online television station.

As important as my own promotion is, I believe it is important to support others within our community. I offer a number of FREE promotional opportunities on my blog, linked to my social media. If you are an author who would like to be promoted to a new audience of dedicated readers, please contact me via my email sally.cronin@moyhill.com. All it will cost you is a few minutes of your time. Look forward to hearing from you.

Links to connect: My books and reviews – Goodreads: Sally Cronin – You can listen to podcasts on Sally Cronin on Soundcloud – Twitter: @sgc58 – Facebook: Sally Cronin – LinkedIn: Sally Cronin

Thank you for dropping in today and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – May 1st – 7th 2023 – The Coronation, Family Photographs, Big Band Era, Guest Columns, Podcast, Book Reviews and Funnies

Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you have had a good week. We have enjoyed some sunshine but also some high winds which meant our blossom was short lived…

I am watching the Coronation in bursts on YouTube over the next couple of days. We don’t have television and only watch downloaded shows and films from Netflix or other streaming sites. I get my news from the various international papers I follow on a regular basis and to be honest I find that means I manage how much bad news I am exposed to on a daily basis.

Anyway back to the Coronation and currently the BBC coverage I am watching has racked up 4.4 million views since yesterday. I would imagine that would be mainly international by those who don’t have access to UK TV.   If you would like to watch the short highlights you can find them here Coronation Highlights the full length 7hrs 30 min BBC Coverage is Here.

Personally I am all for a monarchy as I feel it is a permanent and consistent reminder of our heritage and history which our revolving governments cannot provide. I know there are critics and certainly some members are not as contributory to the role as they might be and take advantage of their position. But, seeing the outpouring of support and joy at the processions and the events taking place, it is a much needed celebration after Covid and the loss of Her Majesty the Queen.

On the home front I have been working though probably a thousand or more photographs, cataloguing and filing so I know what we have. Some of the photos go back over 100 years and also includes a photo of one of my great-grandmothers on my mother’s side. Wonderful to revisit the family photos taken on our times overseas with my father but also our own travels in the last 43 years. Definitely a walk down memory lane and some possible inspirations for short stories in the future.

As always my thanks to my friends who contribute to the blog…

William Price King joined me this week for the Big Band Era with Benny Goodman, Larry Clinton and the Hokey Cokey…  On Friday William shared the first part of the series featuring Diana Krall.  You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr

Debby Gies​ was here on Monday with a post in the Spiritual Awareness series and this time an exploration of Timing of the arrival of peole in our lives or events. Debby also found some great funnies to share with you. On her own post you will find her book review for the poignant collection Grief Songs by Elizabeth Gauffreau, and a reminder of her post on Automatic Writing and her recent guest post on Intuition. Head over to …D.G. Kaye

Carol Taylor will be here on Wednesday with her A-Z of food and the letter ‘W’. On her own blog Monday Musings Carol shares what I consider to be an amazing breakthrough mobile 3D dissolvable vaccine patches, a poignant ceremony to honour the unknown dead in Thailand, in The Green Kitchen a sobering look at the statistics for cancer, and the impact that has on Carol’s own family, fueling her passion about cooking from scratch and sustainability. Also food waste and how to make tasty chips using potato peelings in an air fryer. Also a wonderful recipe for Spicy red curry, Pork, Rice and Coconut Balls using up your cold cooked rice and an interesting use of egg shells and bananas to help your garden grow. In Thursday Thoughts the fascinating story of Lady Dai… a mummy who is in excellent condition despite her age and who might have been embalmed with a combination of ingredients that clearly have magical properties. Head over to check on all of the posts CarolCooks2 weekly roundup…30th April-6th May 2023

Delighted to welcome Toni Pike to the team on Wednesday and then every two weeks with her series on Personal Power and in her first post, Self Valuation… something we are not necessarily very good at…

..Thank you very much for your visits, comments and shares to social media, as always it is appreciated ♥

On with the show…

The Big Band Era with William Price King and Sally Cronin – 1930s/40s – Benny Goodman with Helen Forrest, Larry Clinton and Bea Wain, Hokey Pokey/Cokey

William Price King Meets Music Legends – #Jazz – Diana Krall Part One

Spiritual Awareness – Timing by D. G. Kaye

Author Toni Pike joins us with a series on Personal Power and how we can be in control of our lives with regard to relationships and our own well-being.

Personal Power – Self-Validation by Toni Pike

Podcast #Poetry – Rain and The Power of Trees by Sally Cronin

Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part One – Childcare costs and socialisation issues, School bullying by Sally Cronin

The Body our Greatest Asset – The Immune System and our role in its efficiency by Sally Cronin

New Book on the Shelves – #Crime #Thriller – Restless Mayhem (The Mayhem Series Book 6) by Sue Coletta

#PostApocalyptic #SciFi – Once Upon a Time in the Swamp by C.S. Boyack

#Crime – Remember No More ( D.S. Kite Mysteries) by Jan Newton

Book Reviews – Round up April 2023 – #Contemporary #Thriller Lisette Brodey, #Thriller WWII Allan Hudson, #Media #Memoir Alison Ripley Cubitt, #Mystery Gwen Plano, #Shortstories Joan Hall, #Thriller Lee Child, #Fantasy Nicholas Conley

Meet the Authors 2023 – #Memoir #Flash Pamela S. Wight, #Shortstories Beem Weeks, #Romance Staci Troilo

#Fantasy D.Wallace Peach, #Shortstories Joan Hall, #Romance #Paranormal Jan Sikes

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Dog Collars and Holidays

Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Driving Lessons and Cats and pills

 

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you will join me again next week.. stay safe.. Sally

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Something to think about – The R’s of Life – Relationships Part One – Childcare costs and socialisation issues, School bullying by Sally Cronin

In January 2016 I began a series that I was intending to publish as a book but instead I shared on the blog in a series four years ago and I hope new readers to the blog will enjoy reading.

The R’s of Life by Sally Cronin

The title came about as I dipped into a Thesaurus to find some words for a poem I was writing. I noticed that a great many words that reflected  key elements in our lives began with the letter ‘R’.

The posts are a bit longer than the average…so I hope you have a cup of tea handy!

Last time  I explored our family and how it impacts us as we grow from childhood to adulthood.

This week is the first part of post on relationships we form in our lives.

Relationships Part One – Childhood, Bullying and Outside influences

So far I have covered respect, recognition and relations, which leads me very conveniently into relationships. In this first part, I am looking at the socialisation of children before and during school that form the basis of their relationship skills in the wider world.

If you were to make a list of your relationships, including close family, extended family, good friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, your boss, your partner, your child etc. And then wrote down the three key relationship interactions you shared, you will probably be surprised at how multi-faceted you are.

Think about it. In essence you are a different person to all the various groups of people in your life such as family and close friends, work colleagues, those you share leisure activities with and also to individuals that you meet along the way.

In the last post I explored our relations including parents, siblings and extended family. Even within that tight knit group, you are either perceived by or behave differently with individuals within it. You are likely to have a different relationship with your mother than with your father, and that too will depend on whether you are male or female. As will your interaction with a sister or brother, grandparents and cousins.

All this is great practice for life in the big wide world, especially when you get to school. Here you will form new relationships with non-family members and also with teachers and those in authority. You suddenly discover that being a cheeky little blighter to your elders from time to time, will not be forgiven so quickly, and yet another adjustment is required to your relationship portfolio.

Early childhood is a vital time of socialisation with others, and it forms the basis of how we will interact with people for the rest of our lives; it is therefore an essential part of our development.

However, even in our modern age, there are still many thousands of children who do not go through this critical stage in their development.

I was reading some media reports that highlighted the fact that some teachers are not just expected to introduce children starting school to reading, writing and arithmetic. Children are starting school at four and five years old, still wearing nappies, unable to manage to eat food with utensils, unable to communicate and showing a distinct lack of life skills needed to develop relationships.

In the last post I talked about the changing face of the family in the last thirty years, and the fact that an extended family, provides a very important support system that enables parents to share some of the inherent responsibilities of the role.

As we have dispersed further away from our homes in search of jobs, or for other reasons, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters and cousins are no longer part of the socialisation process, leaving a gaping hole in a child’s development. There is no doubt that socialisation is necessary and if there is no extended family then it is understandable that early placement for childcare, sometimes from a few weeks old might be the answer. However, as some findings are discovering, it may not be as beneficial before a child has reached a certain stage in their development, such as three years old.

It would seem as well, that in families without that support, and with more than one child under five, there is far less time or perhaps the will, to teach a child some of the fundamental skills they require such as potty training and how to communicate.

Of course it is easier to put a child in a carry cot and perhaps place them in front of the television for hours at a time, but it is not providing them with the ability to communicate with others. This is why when some children reach primary school, their natural reaction is fear and aggression, leading to behavioural problems that may never be resolved. This is nothing new, as even when I started school over sixty-five years ago, there was a small boy in the class who had clearly not had any previous contact with others, let alone children.

In hindsight, I now understand that he was terrified at suddenly being surrounded by 30 other noisy girls and boys, an adult teacher who clearly expected his attention, and crucially, exclusion in the playground, as he had no idea how to play well without resorting to aggression to get his way.

There are many schools now that offer kindergarten facilities from the age of three with the primary purpose of socialising children and introducing them to early learning skills. This seems to be an excellent way to ease them into mainstream schooling.

Bullying

I don’t remember much bullying going on during my school years in the late 50s and 60s but I know that others did suffer from it and still feel the impact through adulthood.

Today it would appear that this disturbing and devastating predicament for a child is on the increase. I looked at a number of websites who gave different quotes of between 40% to 50% of children are bullied each year. It is difficult to put a definitive figure on the extent of bullying since today it is not just confined to the classroom but online, and there are also estimated numbers of children who don’t report the abuse.

Here is an extract from a report in The Independent that highlights the seriousness of the issue.

One in 10 teenagers bullied at school have attempted to commit suicide, according to research published today. In addition, a further 30 per cent go on to self-harm.
The study, by the anti-bullying pressure group, Ditch The Label, shows that 45 per cent of 13- to 18-year-olds have experienced bullying by the age of 18, with the majority saying the primary reason was their physical appearance. Researchers canvassed 3,600 young people.

Bullying expert Professor Ian Rivers, from Brunel University, said the research showed that we still have got a great deal to do to ensure that our young people are safe in our schools and able to learn in a supportive educational environment.

The survey went on to show that, of those bullied, 61 per cent had been physically attacked and 10 per cent had been sexually assaulted. A total of 83 per cent said what they had gone through had had an impact on their self-esteem.

Incidents of bullying were highest amongst those with a disability, of whom 63 per cent reported being bullied and socially excluded. In addition, one in three said it was as a result of prejudice – homophobia, racism or religious discrimination.

Where does the responsibility lie with regard to the socialisation of children to prevent bullying of others?

Well it certainly should not be when a child is four or five and going to school for the first time. If a child is not able to play and learn in harmony at that point, it will be a huge challenge to reverse their behaviour. If a child is a victim of bullying or the child doing the bullying, both are likely to fulfill those roles into adulthood deeply impacting their relationships with others throughout their lives.

I found this quite interesting and it might give you something to think about.

Steve Biddulph, the favourite number one name in parenting psychology – and bestselling author of Raising Boys – examines how different childcare options are likely to affect you and your child in this rivetting and highly topical book

This topical book tackles a key issue all new parents face. Steve Biddulph looks at childcare choices and the dilemmas that so often arise:

– ‘I want to stay at home with my child but don’t know how I can’
– ‘I don’t know what is better: nursery, creche or childminder’
– ‘if other people look after my child will it affect its development and happiness?’

It examines the two-income ‘slaves to work’ culture in the UK and how in the past ten years, the number of babies and toddlers under three who are spending all day (8am to 6pm) in nurseries has quadrupled. Biddulph urges caution and warns that the hurried and disconnected way that families now live their lives could be damaging to a whole new generation’s mental stability and development.

The book is an eye-opener in terms of child development and provides useful case studies from parents who are stay-at-home and those using all-day or part-time childcare – groups sociologists have named ‘slammers’ and ‘sliders’ respectively.

This 53-year-old author of some of the world’s most popular parenting books – four million sales and counting – is, in his quiet way, angry about the increasing use of day care for babies. He argues that placing children younger than three in nurseries risks damaging their mental health, leaving them aggressive, depressed, antisocial and unable to develop close relationships in later life.

You can find this book and the others on the raising of boys and girls to face a modern world: Amazon

You can read a report on the subject backed by experts in the field of child psychology: The Daily Telegraph – Day Nursery may harm children under 3

Childcare financial costs

This is not to say that I agree with draconian regimentation of a child so rigidly that their innate personality is repressed. But there does need to be boundaries set, that ensure a child becomes accepted rather than rejected by others, and grows and develops safely.

And I also appreciate for some parents, childcare is the only option despite the horrendous costs which almost make it seem counter-productive. As this report on average childcare demonstrates: Moneyhelper

In the UK, the average cost of sending a child under the age of two to nursery is:

• £137.69 a week part-time (25 hours)
• £263.81 a week full-time (50 hours).

The average cost for families using an after-school club for five days is £62 a week.

But there is help you can get with childcare costs in the UK. If you live in the UK you can use this calculator to establish how much you can claim back: Gov UK Childcare

Source: Childminder and nursery costs from Family and Childcase Trust 2021

Finding day care for babies and young children is a minefield, and also it must be terrifying handing over your new baby to strangers who will have the care for 8 or 9 hours or longer during the day. A huge wrench, and if it is essential that a baby goes into day care before three years old, then there are a number of sites you can advise you of the best and most cost effective in your area.

For example one of the largest and most established young child education organisations is Montessori and here is a link to their baby and toddler programmes which are considered to be some of the best. They have schools all around the world and it would serve as a benchmark when you are considering other care services in your area.

Montessori US or Montessori Europe

The alternative option to baby and toddler care.

There is also a very widely used childcare option, and that is the rapidly increasing role of grandparents and other family members. This can be amazing for a baby or toddler to be looked after within the family and even the UK Government has recognised this: Grandparents can use credits to count towards their State Pension

There is a great site which has a number of helpful articles and also offers advice to grandparents who usually provide this service for free

Regularly looking after the grandchildren? You’re not alone. The amount of childcare grandparents provide for their families has risen sharply over the last decade. Whichever measure you take – number of children looked after by grandparents, hours put in, or value to the economy – the trend is sharply upwards, and grandparents are now estimated to be saving Britain £17 billion in childcare.

This is an oft discussed issue on the Gransnet forums. On the whole, grandparents want to be helpful, and with the rising costs of childcare parents are struggling to make ends meet. But, at a time when life should be slowing down, taking care of young children can be a big – and exhausting – commitment.

If you find yourself in the position of being asked to help out with childcare, here are some important things you should consider.

Head over to read the rest of this article and the pros and cons of taking care of grandchildren: Gransnet – Grandparents and Childcare

I would say that from my perspective, if I valued my childhood and wanted to instill the same into my children, coming to some arrangement with my own parents would be an ideal solution, with some way of recompensing them. I am sure that an arrangement that is considerably less that £263 per week per child has to be a good thing for everyone, including the child who is then more prepared to move to an expanded environment where they meet other children and adults forming healthy relationships.

Thankfully for the majority of us, we arrive at school with most of the basic and necessary life skills, and they are built on in the next stage in our development, until we leave school at 16 years old or go on to further education. Not only do we learn to play with others, but we also develop skills that will enable us to enter the work place where we will work as part of teams, be managed and in time manage others.

Next time… forming individual relationships

©Sally Cronin 2023

I have enjoyed a nomadic existence living in eight countries including Sri Lanka, Malta, South Africa, USA and Spain, before settling back here in Ireland. My work, and a desire to see some of the most beautiful parts of the world in the last forty years, has taken me to many more incredible destinations around Europe and Canada, and across the oceans to New Zealand and Hawaii. All those experiences and the people that I have met, provide a rich source of inspiration for my stories.

After a career in customer facing roles in the hospitality, retail, advertising and telecommunications industry, I wrote and published my first book in 1999 called Size Matters, about my weight loss journey, losing 150lbs in 18 months.  This has been followed by 15 further fiction and non-fiction books, including a number of short story collections.

Having trained as a nutritional therapist I opened my own dietary advisory centre in Ireland in 1998 until 2002. My first book release resulted in a radio interview in Spain that led to four years as a nutritional consultant for an English language station, and this was followed by four years with my own health show and Sunday morning show on local radio station in the UK and then as station director, newsreader and presenter for an online television station.

As important as my own promotion is, I believe it is important to support others within our community. I offer a number of FREE promotional opportunities on my blog, linked to my social media. If you are an author who would like to be promoted to a new audience of dedicated readers, please contact me via my email sally.cronin@moyhill.com. All it will cost you is a few minutes of your time. Look forward to hearing from you.

Links to connect: My books and reviews – Goodreads: Sally Cronin – You can listen to podcasts on Sally Cronin on Soundcloud – Twitter: @sgc58 – Facebook: Sally Cronin – LinkedIn: Sally Cronin

Thank you for dropping in today and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts.