A delve into the archives tonight with some funnies and a few jokes to ease you into the weekend.. I hope you enjoy.
And now time for some more Bad Dad Jokes.. please award groans in the comments…but do not throw anything…thank you Sally.
Why did the COFFEE file a police report
It got mugged.
CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”
DAD: “No thank you, just leave it in the carton!”
Where can I go to learn HOW TO MAKE ice cream
Did you hear about the guy who invented LIFESAVERS
They say he made a mint.
I’ve been telling everyone about the benefits of eating DRIED GRAPES.
I’m all about raisin awareness!
What did the GRAPE do when he got stepped on
He let out a little wine.
Want to hear a joke about PIZZA
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
What do you call a bear with NO TEETH
A gummy bear.
WAITER: “Do you wanna box for your LEFTOVERS?”
DAD: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”
Some guy just hit me in the face with a CHEESE WHEEL.
I was thinking of going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts!
My wife and I were arguing as to who gets to use the MICROWAVE first.
Then things started to get heated.
Did you hear the joke about the BUTTER
I’d better not tell you; it might spread.
SERVER: “And how did you find your steak this evening?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, it was easy; I just looked under the parsley.”
What did AUNT JEMIMA say when she ran out of PANCAKES
“You have a ‘dad bod!’”
DAD: “I like to think of it more as a father figure.”
It’s HARD TO SAY what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the seashore.
What do you call a HIPPIE’S wife
I swapped our bed for a TRAMPOLINE.
My wife hit the roof.
I hope this has brightened your day….thanks for dropping by … Sally.