Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – August 7th 2020 – Funnies and Bad Dad Jokes Host Sally Cronin


A delve into the archives tonight with some funnies and a few jokes to ease you into the weekend.. I hope you enjoy.

And now time for some more Bad Dad Jokes.. please award groans in the comments…but do not throw anything…thank you Sally.

Why did the COFFEE file a police report
It got mugged.

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CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”
DAD: “No thank you, just leave it in the carton!”

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Where can I go to learn HOW TO MAKE ice cream
Sundae school.

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Did you hear about the guy who invented LIFESAVERS
They say he made a mint.

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I’ve been telling everyone about the benefits of eating DRIED GRAPES.
I’m all about raisin awareness!

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What did the GRAPE do when he got stepped on
He let out a little wine.

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Want to hear a joke about PIZZA
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

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What do you call a bear with NO TEETH
A gummy bear.

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WAITER: “Do you wanna box for your LEFTOVERS?”
DAD: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”

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Some guy just hit me in the face with a CHEESE WHEEL.
How dairy.

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I was thinking of going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts!

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My wife and I were arguing as to who gets to use the MICROWAVE first.
Then things started to get heated.

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Did you hear the joke about the BUTTER
I’d better not tell you; it might spread.

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SERVER: “And how did you find your steak this evening?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, it was easy; I just looked under the parsley.”

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What did AUNT JEMIMA say when she ran out of PANCAKES
“How waffle.”

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“You have a ‘dad bod!’”
DAD: “I like to think of it more as a father figure.”

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It’s HARD TO SAY what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the seashore.

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What do you call a HIPPIE’S wife
Mississippi.

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I swapped our bed for a TRAMPOLINE.
My wife hit the roof.

I hope this has brightened your day….thanks for dropping by … Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Open Mic Night 19th June- More humour from the senior team


My sister Diana and her friends have been passing around the funnies again this week and here are a few for you to enjoy.

And now for some more bad ‘Dad Jokes’ from David Cronin….please no groaning from the balcony….

Why are SKELETONS so calm
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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Why aren’t KOALAS bears
They don’t meet the koalafications.
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Want to hear a JOKE about cats
Just kitten!
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I wanted to buy a pair of CAMOUFLAGE pants
but I couldn’t find them anywhere!
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Why was the CAT asked to leave the COMPUTER store
He wouldn’t stop playing with the mouse.
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What did the KANGAROO say when her baby was kidnapped
“Someone help me catch that pickpocket!”
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Why don’t BANKS allow kangaroos to open accounts
Because their checks always bounce.
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Why do OCEANS never go out of style
They’re always current.
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One day I was in the park wondering why Frisbees get BIGGER . . .
and then it hit me.
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Which letter has THE MOST water in it
The C.
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Have you heard the joke about the GIANT
Never mind; it’s over your head.
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What did the FISH say when he swam into a wall
“Dam.”
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What do you call a BEE with a QUIET buzz
A mumblebee.

Thanks for joining us and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Sally and the team..

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Open Mic Night 12th June- More humour from the senior team


My sister Diana and her friends have been passing around the funnies again this week and here are a few for you to enjoy.

And now for some bad ‘Dad Jokes’ from David Cronin….please no groaning from the balcony….

I just watched a program about BEAVERS.

It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

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What did the PIRATE say on his 80th birthday

“Aye, matey!”

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How do you organize an OUTER SPACE party

You planet.

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What type of magazines do COWS enjoy reading

Cattlelogs.

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What did the OCEAN say to the sailboat

Nothing; it just waved.

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What did the mermaid wear to MATH CLASS

An algae-bra.

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I ordered a CHICKEN and an EGG online.

I’ll let you know which comes first.

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A termite walks into a BAR and asks

“Is the bar tender here?”

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What did DADDY spider say to baby spider

You spend too much time on the WEB.

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What do you call a group of KILLER WHALES playing instruments

An orca-stra.

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We might be going SNORKELING this weekend

but I’m not holding my breath.

Thanks for joining us and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Sally and the team..