Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – How to deal with clowns and chocolate…and a joke or two from the archives.

And now for a joke or two from the archives….on the subject of drinking…

The police were ordered to clean up the neighbourhood and their job was made easier when a drunk staggered up to a sergeant and said “Escuse me offisher, what time is it?”

The cop replied “One o’clock,” and hit him once over the head with his baton.

“Blimey,” said the drunk holding his head, “I’m glad I didn’t ask you an hour ago.”


After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host’s party, the wife looks at him and says, “Aren’t you embarrassed to keep going back for more?”

Husband says, “Nope. I Keep telling them it’s for you!”


Stumbling onto the bus just as it was leaving the drunk staggered down the aisle, hit a passenger in the face with his elbow and knocked over a bag of shopping. He dropped into a seat next to a sour-faced woman who took one whiff of his beery breath and wagged her finger in his face.

“You, young man, are going straight to hell.”

He struggled to his feet, “don’t tell me I’m on the wrong bus again!”

Please drink responsibly but feel free to eat as much chocolate as you like… This is a Public Service message…thanks for dropping in…Sally