Smorgasbord Laughter lines – Something to go with the leftovers….Funnies and a Poem…


For those of you who don’t celebrate Boxing Day, St. Stephen’s day, you may still be on a festive break, stuffed with food and chocolate and ready to get some exercise to work it all off. Laughter uses all the muscles in the face and if you get your upper body shaking with laughter, and the feel good chemicals being released in your brain, you are in good shape…. to eat more leftovers later.

 

Now for ditty from me in celebration of the food unconsumed yesterday…..

The Leftovers by Sally Cronin

I opened the fridge this morning
To check on the state of the world,
I hoped to see that the turkey,
Was not all shrivelled and curled.

It peaked from its packet of foil,
Still juicy and raring to go
I shredded it into some sauce
With some shrooms and onions for show.

I took the spuds, carrots and peas
And slathered with butter and oil.
The brandy was down to the dregs,
I added and brought to the boil.

But what to do with the trifle
Still lush with custard and berry
Guess I shall just have to eat it
Topped with a schooner of sherry.

So if I sound a bit pickled
The leftovers carry the blame.
Since to throw good food in the bin
Would be a dire waste and a shame.

My waist has expanded to fit
All the goodies that have been served
But thankfully my beloved,
Likes his women rounded and curved!

Thanks for dropping in today and enjoy the rest of the holidays…..Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – More Christmas Funnies


I have been delving into the archives with the saucier side of snowmen and women…..and our resident foodie Carol Taylor Food Column found a wonderful one and shared last week on Facebook.

Christmas at the races.

Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field. Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas Crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted he succeeded in coming in only second.

He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.

“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.

Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.

Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”

So the clerk handed him a mirror.

A special gift for Christmas

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

T.V game show

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa’s reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, “Rudolph and Olive!”

The host asked the contestant, “We’ll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?”

The man looked at the host and said, “You know, ‘Olive,’ the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..

 

Thanks for popping in and hope it has brought a smile to your face.. why not spread them around.. Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Time to get the Party Started – Christmas Funnies.


Time to get the Christmas ornaments, decorations, crackers and funnies out and here is something to get you started.

Thanks for dropping in today… Guest Comedian Debby Gies has been scouting out some festive fun and will be here on Thursday. Please feel free to pass along.