Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – November 5th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Evolution and Killer Food


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally

Hook, line and sinker…

As a man is walking down the street he sees an old man sitting on the pavement just outside a pub, a fishing hat decorated with hooks and colorful floats on his hat and a fishing rod in his hand. However there is no river or lake anywhere near and his fishing line ends in a puddle of muddy water on the other side of the street.

“Oh that poor soul”, the man thinks to himself and says: “Hello good man. Why don’t you let me invite you to a drink in that pub over there?” The old man agrees and they sit down for a beer.

Since the situation is pretty awkward the guy who invited the old man doesn’t really know how to break the silence, so he just orders another few rounds of drinks. Finally he has gathered the courage to ask the old man: “And? Are they biting?”

The old man puts on a smile and says he can’t complain. Surprised by this answer his companion asks: “Really? So how many have you caught today?”

The old man takes a large sip from his beer and replies: “Including you? That would be eight I believe.”

Many a word spoken in jest!Killer Food

A   nutritionist was addressing a large audience. “The food that we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

“Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Guest Interviews 2015 – A Funny Thing Happened, #Relationships D.G. Kaye


As I sort through and organise my files here on WordPress which now amount to over 12,000 since 2013, I am discovering gems, such as guest interviews that I would love to share with you again..

This week an early interview with D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies as part of a Sunday interview series ‘A Funny Thing Happened to Me.’ in 2015.

Little did I know as I asked Debby about one of the topics for her non-fiction books, narcissism, that a few years later she would be writing the Relationship Column for us. I have updated the interviews with recent books and reviews and I hope you will enjoy revisiting the posts with me.

71F8zMPwPML._UX250_If you are a regular visitor you will have met Debby before as a contributor writing The Travel Column for two years and now The Realm of Relationships 2020. Debby also co-hosts the Laughter Lines twice a week.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Thank you Debby for joining us today and perhaps we could start with the increasingly documented personality trait labelled Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is only recently that this disorder has become better known as more and more people realise that at some point in their lives they have been subjected to its negative impact. Perhaps you could describe the sort of behaviour that a narcissist would exhibit?

Hello Sally and readers of this wonderful blog. Thank you so much for inviting me to this new series to share my stories here with so many other talented artists and writers.

A narcissist, in laymen’s terms, sees him/herself as the center of existence. They feel as though their appearance and/or words trump everyone else’s. In my mother’s case, she had created a false persona that she had convinced her own self that she was superior. It was her mission to be the most beautiful one in a room, and craved attention so that focus had to be on her at all times.

Everything she talked about was exaggerated to make sure she could captivate her audience with her stories of grandeur. Her wants and needs came first to anyone else’s, including her children’s. She’d go to any lengths to acquire whatever it was she seeked.

Now, some people like to tell lies and paint pretty pictures of themselves for attention, but a true narcissist, as in my mother’s case, actually believes her own stories because she lived in her own ego.

I learned through the years of studying her, that this was a disease, which commonly wasn’t recognized as such. In the last generation, I don’t believe it was prominently diagnosed.

Do we all have some elements of that behaviour and if so what triggers it becoming a full blown disorder?

I don’t believe we all have the elements of becoming a narcissist, but I do believe there can be circumstances or incidents one encounters in life that propel one to becoming narcissistic. I’m no licenced psychologist, but I have to believe it can also be linked to various (undiagnosed) mental disorders, such as depression, which becomes a catalyst to narcissism, used to overcome some troubling issues. I say this because I think that besides my mother’s strife to be the best in show, I sensed a sadness within her that she was trying to conceal, not just to everyone, but also to herself.

She medicated that inner sadness with booze, pills and gambling, intermittently. She came from a poor family, and in a Scarlett O’Hara sort of way, had used her beauty as a weapon to obtain materialistic things in life.

I don’t believe anyone is born a narcissist. I think that it is the situations one lives through, which have a propensity to steer them in that direction as a means to achieve a status to feel better about themselves; and no matter at who’s expense.

It is obvious, as in your case, that a child would feel powerless in that kind of relationship. But is also true that adults of narcissistic parents can still be under the influence of that negativity especially as the parents age. What would be your advice to someone facing that challenge?

I would have to say the statistics show that many adults are still held under the powers of a narcissistic parent. It’s a major feat to become freed from the power that parents hold over us, mainly from their use of guilt as a means to obtain what they demand.

I was petrified to say the word “no” to my mother, my whole life. I danced to her every whim, and there were plenty of them. Children’s psyches are delicate, and grow from what we know and are used to. If we’re obedient, and not defiant children being raised by a narcissist, the odds are we shall remain under their power for the rest of their lives unless we are lucky enough to take a stand to them. For me, it was always unsettling to be around my mother.

We have to find a way for ourselves to live comfortably and deal with that parent (in my case.) It is very unlikely that person will ever change because they don’t believe they are the one with the problem.

I complied with my mother’s demands all my life and it ate away at me like poison, I took her wraths and tantrums because I felt I had to obey. I was the child, no matter what age I was. It took me decades and barrels of courage to get over the feeling that she had entitlement to anything she demanded from me, as a daughter. With a lot of self-therapy and self-analysis, I tried to reason with her to no avail.

I had to learn the hard way that it wasn’t my job, or in my power to fix her. The sickness wouldn’t allow anything positive I had to offer her, register with her. In the end, it was my own self-sanity I had to save, and painfully after so much emotional torment, at 48 years old, I walked away,

Sometimes you have to learn when you can’t fix a broken soul who doesn’t think it needs repairing.

In the UK there are around 120,000 divorces a year which is one of the highest in the European Union. In the US I understand that is around the 2.5 million mark per year. Whatever the figure that is a huge number of men and women and of course millions of children who are faced with this life changing event. What do you believe are the key issues that partners find so difficult to overcome that leads to this very final dissolution of their relationship and family?

Many times people get married for the wrong reasons, varying from anything such as, for material gain, pregnancy, or just settling for a relationship in order not to be alone, just to name a few. Other times, it could be that people marry too young.

Experience shows us that as we grow older, our wants and likes change as we grow. Sometimes people drift into new directions, leaving a partner behind when they no longer share interests. Also, infidelity is a major cause of break-ups, and I believe the promiscuity begins when one isn’t receiving the shared interest, respect, attention or kindness from their partner. They crave acceptance and to be acknowledged or included as a partner in their marriage, and when they stop receiving, they become vulnerable when they meet someone who feeds that need.

What would be your advice to anyone in a relationship who is facing potentially serious issues about some of the communication points they should be discussing with their partners to help prevent a complete breakdown?

We have to communicate our thoughts and feelings to our partners. We have to open our ears and listen back when they express their feelings to us. We should be supporting their work and passions. This must become a two-way street of reciprocation.

If we feel we are giving our all, and we aren’t being paid any mind or consideration for our own thoughts and feelings, this is a good sign we are not in a loving, supportive relationship. This would be the time to seek some outside therapy to salvage a relationship, before it becomes time to sever it.

Thank you so much Debby for providing such an important insight into one of the most corrosive relationships that we can find ourselves in and also the strategies that might help us overcome the challenges we face. 

Now time for the central theme of the Sunday Show interview.. ‘A funny thing happened to me..’

What are the Odds?

I title this situation with the phrase I’ve countlessly repeated many times throughout my life because I’ve often encountered situations in life where the odds were slim of things happening.

Sometimes it wasn’t always a good situation, but in this instance, I lucked out with favourable odds.

When I was twenty-five, I took a leave of absence from my then position as an executive assistant to the general manager of a downtown hotel chain. I had a fantasy that I wanted to fulfil of travelling through the Greek islands. Part of that trip I rented villa on the island of Mykonos for six weeks.

I travelled alone, as I was fiercely independent and had no trouble meeting people and forging friendships.

While I was waiting for three days in Athens for my booked passage over to Mykonos, I had befriended some interesting people staying at my same hotel. One of these people was a lovely Dutch boy, a few years younger than I, who was backpacking through Europe. Another couple I befriended were from Australia, also backpacking and taking on work around Europe to sustain their travels. They were at the same hotel at the same time as I was, all treating themselves to a few days in a nice hotel instead of the usual youth hostels.

When we all parted to go our separate ways, I had given them my address in Mykonos, and invited them to drop by if they were on the island in the coming weeks, and I offered them a room to rent in the villa for a nominal fee. I thought it would be nice for them, and it would also give me some extra pocket money.

Only a few days had gone by in Mykonos, and I had broken my foot getting off a high step on a bus while going into town for some provisions. Now, that situation alone is a story, which you will find in my book Conflicted Hearts, but nonetheless, my foot was broken, and I wasn’t going to another island to have it casted. I saw a doctor who wrapped it tightly in a tensor bandage, gave me crutches, and told me to keep my leg elevated as much as possible. Walking on crutches on the broken cobblestone roads and struggling to get up the small mountain (and down) on the rickety path to the beach was a feat in itself.

A few days had passed and as I struggled again to get to the beach, and find my rock where I elevated my foot, I laid down my things and began thinking that I should cut my vacation short because it was too hard for me to get around. I was sad and scared about my demise. Tears sprang from eyes in my feelings of defeat. And then moments later, I heard somebody shouting my name.

I was sure it was a call for someone else, as I had yet to make friends with anyone there, except for the jeweller in town who befriended me when I fell off the bus and helped me get to a doctor, then scared the crap out of me. (Again full story in my book.)

I quickly sat up to see where the far away voice was coming from, when I realized God had sent me an angel.

My little Dutch friend had come to visit. He stayed for two weeks. He was so kind and helpful. He prepared meals for me, took me to town and carried my things, and helped me up and down the hilly paths. We shared a great friendship for many years after through letters. And, of course, I never took a dime from him.

Could lightning strike twice? After my Dutch friend left, a mere one day later, the same miracle happened at the beach when my Aussie friends showed up looking for me. They stayed with me for two weeks.

Coincidence? Divine timing? Those who know me well know that I often preach that we meet people; sometimes for reasons, sometimes for a season.

Love your story Debby… Coincidence perhaps, but also down to how well liked you were by those you met that they wanted to see you again…

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You on Goodreads

Jul 29, 2020 M.J. Mallon rated it Five Stars it was amazing

This is a very personal account of the author’s experiences of coping and coming to terms with the emotions experienced after the death of a narcissistic mother. D. G Kaye’s mother is herself a product of the terrible parenting she experienced as a child. My own mother struggled with many heartbreaking problems as she grew up. She overcame these and was and continues to be a wonderfully caring mother. I have a deep, unbreakable bond with her which I also have with my daughters.

As I continued to read further into this memoir I kept on comparing our circumstances. How sad and damaging such an uncaring, selfish parent is to her children. How can a mother behave in such a way? P.S. I Forgive You is an important read for all of us. This memoir is about letting go, releasing the emotional turmoil which begun in childhood.

It is a compelling read. It courageously deals with the extremes of family relationships. Relationships are complex and difficult even in what I would deem to be ‘normal’ families. There are many who struggle to understand or relate to their son or daughter, sister, brother, wife or husband.

But this memoir takes those problems to a whole new level that no one should have to experience. After such a damaging upbringing, D. G. Kaye has suffered but has learnt to forgive. She lives a happy, fulfilled life. That is a wonderful testament to her strength of character and her can do attitude.

I’d recommend this memoir to us all whatever our circumstances

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK – BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads:D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster – Facebook: Debby Gies

Thank you for joining us today and Debby would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 6th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Baked Beans and Magicians


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for some jokes from Sally –

The Debt

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”

The Magician

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show.

“Look, it’s not the same hat!” “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side.

They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.

After a week the parrot finally said, “Okay, I give up.

What’d you do with the boat?”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face..thanks Sally and Debby..

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships -October 2020 -Envy, Jealousy, Bullying – A Path to Narcissism?


Envy, Jealousy, Bullying – A Path to Narcissism?

There’s nothing good about the green-eyed monster, envy. Envy is a side-effect for some who harbor resentments and suffer a feeling of lacking. And for many, this syndrome can lead to narcissism—created from the root of the bad seed of envy that nurtures itself, manifesting into desire and creating a must need to, out-do, outlast, outshine and all the other ‘outs,’ better than anyone else in their circles and beyond, to compensate for the envy and attention others receive, with a desperate want to be showered with adulation and praise to feel superior.

The distinction between envy and jealousy is: Envy is a reaction to lack of something others have which you desire. Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something, or usually someone, to another cause or person.

But where does this envious or jealous behavior evolve from? What are the seeds that spawn such behavior?

I’m familiar with the envy and the jealousy syndrome, so I can speak confidently from experience. My mother was a champion at both. I knew my mother better than I ever let her know me. I also know her beginnings in life were defining reasons for the contributing factors aiding in the creating of both bugs in her character, and the eventuality of her narcissism.

People don’t just behave a certain way out of thin air. Behaviors are learned from studying or being a part of other’s behavior and then adopting those same behaviors. Bad behavior and anger grow from resentments, neglect, hurt, and lacking, which can result into rage-filled anger episodes that can ultimately become a long-term side effect in behavioral patterns as resentments pile and fester. These frenzied fits become an assault on the narcissist’s victim’s self-esteem over long-term.

An emotionally neglected child who is berated, ridiculed, or ignored by a narcissistic parent, may feel vulnerable and sometimes insignificant, as their own declining self-esteem gets chipped away at. Without proper nurturing and attention, these children grow up with a lack of confidence, and can possibly begin to harbor their own grievances for other’s accomplishments. This is a perpetual unhealthy existence for a child.

Those harbored feelings of inadequacy can lead them to follow suit and become bullies themselves. Bullies aren’t born, just as racists aren’t born, they’re bred. We are born pure. It’s the outside influences that help feed us as we develop that help shape our values and preferences. These acquired negative traits can derive from both the home and outside influences. There are a multitude of things that can contribute to the reasons for someone becoming a bully. And the usual reason for a bully’s actions will come down to one of these: they’ve been hurt, jealousy, or anger. And often, if these traits aren’t dealt with, they have a propensity to become a precursor to narcissism.

Bullies have been hurt. They’ve been ridiculed and made to feel inadequate at some point, so in retaliation, they project by placing their frustrations on others. Often, the name-calling by a bully is a transference onto someone else because of what someone has laid on them, or, what they imagined was laid on them. Bullies feel outdone and unencouraged, they project back on to someone weaker because they’re reminded of what they themselves are lacking in and want someone else to feel their pain. Whether in school where they’re made to feel stupid by peers, or even a bad teacher, or home where they may be teased and ridiculed and neglected, they don’t want to be reminded about what they are missing out on, be it good grades, a shiny bike, and as they age, a job, a family, a vacation, lavish gifts – they are frustrated they don’t have something others do, either emotionally and/or materialistically.

The narcissism develops and begins with visions of seeking to attain something to compensate for what they lack in. Narcissists require praise like we need oxygen. They have a need to be admired for their actions and possessions. Compliments and kudos are their fuel to validate they are no longer lacking. These are components to how narcissism grows.
A narc is an oxymoron – like two people in one. Two selfs – fraudulent, and dreamer. The dreamer self is what keeps them focused on their fraudulent motives and goals to attain superiority, often presenting a social side of their nature in public, evoking their fraudulent self of grandiosity, authority and dominance, while deep inside, they know who they really are, which perpetuates the persona of their fraudulent self.

Narcs must maintain their personas and egos daily. It is in fact, a lot of work for narcs to keep up the show, but a necessary defense mechanism for their ego to survive and thrive. What must go on in their minds? Pathological narcs are delusional about imagining things that never happened and twisting events that have actually happened, into a converted version that fits their narrative better. Pathological narcs are the most dangerous of all relationships. They imagine things – slights and accomplishments that don’t exist, and they believe them. The dangers presented can be anything from threats, guilt trips, blackmail, lies, excuses, and they are notorious for gaslighting anyone who threatens their bubble of superiority.

Narcissistic parents are my familiar territory, as I grew up with a narcissistic mother.

Most of the damage from a narc parent begins in early development of their children, which, in itself, can contribute to becoming the catalyst for narcissism to be inherited if not checked. But not always, because it will depend on the emotional state of each individual child. Damage can lead to symptoms of withdrawal into oneself, creating a low self-esteem, becoming a people pleaser, and later, as mentioned earlier, can potentially manifest into bullying and/or narcissism transferred to their victims. The condition(s) will grow as the narc’s defenses escalate, leaving the child to form either a shield around themselves from others, or in contrast, a reactive personality, such as bullying in defense of the hurt that has accumulated from being ridiculed, belittled, and/or ignored.

It becomes a constant battle for a narcissist to defend their wounds with a growing determination to never be left out or hurt again. When a narc feels hurt or someone is outshining them, they unleash an inner rage which always resides within them, this is their defense used when being challenged or bested by someone else.

As a child of a narc, I will state that there are only two ways for us to develop. We either become like them or try to steer clear of them. Most children of narcissists require long-term therapy to unlearn the many familiar repercussions of low self-esteem, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy, which are common results of growing up in a narcissistic environment. For the lucky ones of us, we turn to another family figure in our lives for nurturing. For me, I was fortunate to have my Aunty Sherry, my mother’s sister, who was well-versed in her sister’s antics. Some of us will develop a curiosity to learn the whys of their parent’s erratic and grandiose behavior. I turned to self-help books in efforts to find an understanding of my mother’s behavior to help me to understand what spurs this kind of behavior, which notably stems from their own childhood abuse. They mimicked instead of ran away from.

Narcissists have no empathy and create and live in their own reality. A narc’s scars evolve from them being humiliated, hurt, or ignored at a crucial point in their own young psychological development. When they are later faced with situations where they feel challenged, they become triggered by other’s accomplishments. Our successes remind them they have failed or have been deprived of the same accomplishment, as though someone else’s success takes away from them personally, leaving them feeling small and insignificant as they constantly compare themselves to others.

In order to get along with a narc, they must feel that they are in total control and they must be in the forefront ahead of anyone else, and if they feel threatened in a moment, they will make us pay emotionally by slashing our self-esteems and try to make us feel inferior, using a common tool called projection.

Example: Trying to help my own mother with her health issues by recommending better diet and supplementation, got me this—one of her standard retaliatory lines: “You think you’re so goddamned smart.” This is a perfect example because once you learn how a narc operates, you can begin to take their lashings with a grain of salt.

Dissection of that statement: My mother lived in grandiosity, so recommendations to her were like being told. And being told by her daughter who had a lot more knowledge than her when it came to health, annoyed her. It made her feel she wasn’t smart enough to know this on her own – triggering her own feelings of inadequacy, plus, she interpreted my giving advice as though she were being told by someone more educated than her, worse, from her own spawn. Those things always hit a nerve with her.

Envy vs. jealousy:

Envy is a reaction to someone who has something the envier wants, and they can’t or don’t have. The envious one wants that life, job, dress, car, education, etc.

Jealousy is ignited by a loss of someone they can no longer have in a relationship – attention paid to them gone, a partner cheating on them, a friend who spends other time with other friends, creating a raging drive fueling them to go to any lengths to retaliate, and the ultimate reaction is revenge. Jealousy can apply to any relationship – one of the heart or a friendship, where the jealous person fears losing that relationship, driving them to react impulsively.

A narc is a jealous person and can take their jealousy to dangerous levels. Jealousy is formed from insecurity. And their jealousy isn’t reserved only for strangers and friends, but children of narcs are often emotionally neglected by a narcissistic parent. These children get no encouragement, no applause for accomplishments, and sometimes rarely a compliment, as that would mean it would take away from the narc. Narcs feel that by giving anything compassionate of themselves, it takes away from them, almost like their ‘score card’.

Pathological narcissism sets in when delusion and extreme behavior evolve and can potentially lead to dangerous abuse. These feelings are born from feelings of insecurity, and from being made to feel inadequate, evoking a void in them, leading them to feel resentful with entitlement by feeling deserving of what everyone else has.

A narcissistic parent’s actions don’t change for their children. Typically, a narc mother would like their child to represent everything the parent wanted to be – a great achiever, well-dressed, popular, etc. Alternatively, as in my case growing up, I sensed my mother’s jealousies for any of my accomplishments. Instead of her acting proud of my accomplishments, looking at them as a reflection on accomplishment for herself as a mother, she felt the opposite way, making me feel as though my accomplishments were a threat and competition to her grandiosity. At other times, when she had an audience and her children were around, she would only then take the opportunity to brag about an accomplishment to let that person know how wonderful her child is. But one-on-one it was a different feeling.

Narcissistic parents who neglect their children emotionally will exude these usual behaviors: are uninterested in milestone accomplishments of their children, harbor covert jealousy, don’t encourage, shows no compassion, main goal is stealing the limelight, domination, and using threats and guilt trips as discipline. All these attributes help shape their child’s personality making the child feel nervous, inadequate, and insecure as they grow and venture into their own grownup lives. It’s a behavioral pattern that the child learns to adapt to – or avoid. These types of parents will either project onto their child everything they themselves wish to be, do, or have, and often will become jealous of all that child accomplishes throughout their life. The child grows up fearful of that parent – fear of reprimanding, threats, and punishments if they don’t obey the rules.

The tactic is known as emotional blackmail, a common method used for narcs to discipline children. This behavior will ultimately affect the relationships we, the children, gravitate to in future, similar unhealthy relationships, both, romantically and in friendships. These fractures narc’s children endure can lead to social retreat, lack of confidence, fear and insecurities, and no self-gratification for their own accomplishments. We become the product of who we grew up under, often depressed, nervous, anxious, and fearful. These repercussions can stick with that child all their lives unless they seek therapy – or in my case, self-help and a mentor.

The narc parent is a blamer on everyone else, nothing is their fault, with no regard for the fallout or the feelings of others. Two typical habits of narcs are, belittling of others to keep the spotlight on them, and denying the reality of a situation by twisting the narrative to match their perceived delusions. The narc parent’s lacking becomes the child’s problem.

Dr. Ramani – understanding a narcissist’s jealousy

My Mother’s jealousy of myself confirmed her disorder to me throughout my life. It began with her jealousy of my close relationship with my father. Then it grew into her jealousy for attention I was paid as I matured into young womanhood whenever we were out together and a male paid attention to me before her, and even when I began dating my now husband (who is incidentally, two years older than my mother was), and her flirtation with him upon first meeting. All her contrived jealousies were because in those instances, she did not hold the spotlight.

Dr. Ramani, Narcissistic Mothers

Children of Narcissistic Mothers need to educate themselves and/or get therapy to repair the mental damage inflicted upon them. The narc’s delusions should not become our realities. If we can recognize the signs of a narc that’s half the battle of learning that what they bestow upon us are derived from their inefficiencies, not ours. We need to recognize their symptoms so we can protect our self-esteems and find another path of nurturing and self-love so we don’t fall prey to falling into wrong relationships with same type of people and repeating what is familiar to us.

Recognize the signs of authoritative behavior, dominance, superiority complexes, emotionally unavailability, un-nurturing, blackmail, guilt trips, and mind manipulation. All these factors become an assault on our self-esteem. We need to realize we don’t owe our mothers a debt because they gave birth to us. We owe it to ourselves to learn the signs of a narcissist and how to adjust our sails when under their control. Narcissists won’t be told or controlled, it’s like pouring gasoline onto their open emotional wounds. We must learn how to protect ourselves from them. Sometimes, we must resort to drastic measures, such as, no contact as the years progress and we grow, as their toxicity never falters.

All situations are unique, but the symptoms never change. Because we can’t change them, we must find what’s most comfortable for ourselves to retain our own sanity. It’s called self-preservation and self-love—something I’ve spent most of my life working on, not just to survive emotionally, but to thrive.

~ ~ ~

I’m including two more good video links here, for those wanting to learn more about narcissists and how they affect our personal lives:

Narcissism in a parent  by Dr. Ramani

Pathological Jealousy and Narcissism –  Why you can never earn their trust by Melanie Tonia Evans

©D.G. Kaye 2020

My thanks to Debby for this detailed analysis of the mother child relationship when it is marred by narcissism and jealousy.  I know that she would value your feedback. thanks Sally.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You on Goodreads

Jul 29, 2020 M.J. Mallon rated it Five Stars it was amazing

This is a very personal account of the author’s experiences of coping and coming to terms with the emotions experienced after the death of a narcissistic mother. D. G Kaye’s mother is herself a product of the terrible parenting she experienced as a child. My own mother struggled with many heartbreaking problems as she grew up. She overcame these and was and continues to be a wonderfully caring mother. I have a deep, unbreakable bond with her which I also have with my daughters.

As I continued to read further into this memoir I kept on comparing our circumstances. How sad and damaging such an uncaring, selfish parent is to her children. How can a mother behave in such a way? P.S. I Forgive You is an important read for all of us. This memoir is about letting go, releasing the emotional turmoil which begun in childhood.

It is a compelling read. It courageously deals with the extremes of family relationships. Relationships are complex and difficult even in what I would deem to be ‘normal’ families. There are many who struggle to understand or relate to their son or daughter, sister, brother, wife or husband.

But this memoir takes those problems to a whole new level that no one should have to experience. After such a damaging upbringing, D. G. Kaye has suffered but has learnt to forgive. She lives a happy, fulfilled life. That is a wonderful testament to her strength of character and her can do attitude.

I’d recommend this memoir to us all whatever our circumstances

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK –  follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies

Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – Twitter: @pokercubster Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Smorgasbord Children’s Cafe and Bookstore – Share your review – Brody Cody and the Stepmother from Outer Space by Toni Pike, Reviewed by D.G. Kaye


Welcome to the series where you can share your reviews for any children’s books you have read recently and posted on your blog, Amazon, Goodreads or any other online bookstore. If you would like more details here is the post that explains how it works: Showcasing Children’s books

Today I am sharing a review for Brody Cody and the Stepmother from Outer Space by Toni Pike.. reviewed by D.G. Kaye

About the book

Brody Cody is almost eight years old and definitely, absolutely, positively does NOT want a mother. His mother died when he was a baby but life with his dad is just perfect.

Brody is horrified when his father goes away to a publishing conference and returns with a wife, Pandora Smith, who is a children’s author. His life spirals out of control as he is forced to eat healthy food, do his homework and help with some chores.

Even worse, he and his friends suspect that his new stepmother might be an alien from outer space.

The review on May 22, 2020 D.G. Kaye rated it Five Stars

This was a pleasant diversion in the children’s genre from this author whose books I’m used to reading in the mystery/thriller genre, but was delighted to read how the author crossed genres. Pike did a wonderful job with this story about a little boy growing up with his dad, just the two of them after Brody’s mom died in an accident when he was a baby, living like boys with no rules. That was until Brody’s dad falls in love with a new woman while out at a business conference and marries her, and Brody’s life of lounging, junk-food eating and lack of household rules are forever changed.

When Brody proceeds to tell his best friend Kyle about his new stepmother, he also mentioned that Pandora had two different colored eyes. The boys were convinced she was an alien from outer space, especially since Kyle is convinced he saw a UFO while star-gazing. Between her two different colored eyes, her healthy cooking and creating new house chores, the two boys are convinced Pandora is from outer space.

I found this book a delightful read. Reading a children’s book through adult eyes, we can see how cleverly the author has woven in the good changes Pandora has brought to Brody’s life, despite the fact that some of these changes were so foreign to Brody, and how he eventually learns to happily adapt and realize how wonderful it really is to have a new mom

Head over to buy the book:  USA  –  UK  –  Australia  –  Canada

Also by Toni Pike

 

Buy the books: Amazon US – And : Amazon UK –  Follow Toni:Goodreads – Website: Toni PikeTwitter: @piketoni1

Books by reviewer D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You on Goodreads

Jul 29, 2020 M.J. Mallon rated it Five Stars it was amazing

This is a very personal account of the author’s experiences of coping and coming to terms with the emotions experienced after the death of a narcissistic mother. D. G Kaye’s mother is herself a product of the terrible parenting she experienced as a child. My own mother struggled with many heartbreaking problems as she grew up. She overcame these and was and continues to be a wonderfully caring mother. I have a deep, unbreakable bond with her which I also have with my daughters.

As I continued to read further into this memoir I kept on comparing our circumstances. How sad and damaging such an uncaring, selfish parent is to her children. How can a mother behave in such a way? P.S. I Forgive You is an important read for all of us. This memoir is about letting go, releasing the emotional turmoil which begun in childhood.

It is a compelling read. It courageously deals with the extremes of family relationships. Relationships are complex and difficult even in what I would deem to be ‘normal’ families. There are many who struggle to understand or relate to their son or daughter, sister, brother, wife or husband.

But this memoir takes those problems to a whole new level that no one should have to experience. After such a damaging upbringing, D. G. Kaye has suffered but has learnt to forgive. She lives a happy, fulfilled life. That is a wonderful testament to her strength of character and her can do attitude.

I’d recommend this memoir to us all whatever our circumstances.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK – BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads:D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster – Facebook: Debby Gies

 

I think you get the idea of how this works and it would be great if you could help promote children’s books by sharing your reviews with us.. just put the link to one or two in the comments and if I need more information from you I will ask you to email me..

 

Thanks for dropping by and I hope you are leaving with some books.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Afternoon Video – Debby Gies finds another Gem – Sea Otters holding hands to survive


This week Debby Gies has been looking for afternoon videos to entertain us and I am sure you will enjoy as much as I have.

 

 

Thanks to Debby for finding this gem…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – September 8th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Source of Stress and Passionate


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for some jokes from Sally –

Something to drive your spell checker nuts…Do my eyes deceive me?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the human mnid .Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!

Lost in Translation – Passionate..

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home.

They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived, all she would say as she stroked the officer’s arm is “You’re Passionate”.

They drove awhile longer and asked again, again the same response as she stroked his arm “You’re passionate”.

The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, “Look we have driven around this City for two hours, and you still haven’t told us where you live.

She replied I keep trying to tell you: “You’re Passin It!”

 

And if you have time to spare here is a selection of my Books and reviews

Sally Cronin, Buy: :Amazon US – and:Amazon UK  –  Follow:Goodreads – Twitter: @sgc58

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Sally and Debby.

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -2020- Pot Luck – Twelve Questions #Blogshare by D.G. Kaye


Welcome to the current series of Posts from Your Archives… and I will be picking two posts from the blogs of those participating from the first six months of 2020. If you don’t mind me rifling through your archives… just let me know in the comments or you can find out the full scope: Posts from Your Archives – Pot Luck – 2020

This is the second post by D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies and this week we discover a little more about Debby as she responds to a blog challenge in June 2020.

Twelve Questions #Blogshare From Stevie Turner – Join in the Fun!

Question and Answer timeI came across this fun post from Stevie Turner’s blog where she came across this quiz on a bloghop inviting writers to answer 12 interesting questions. Below are the questions and my answers:

How spontaneous are you?

Hmm, I’d like to say I’ve been spontaneous most of my life, but I’d also say by the time I turned 50 I learned how to put the brakes on and have become a lot more investigative and skeptical before diving into anything. Anything.

How flirtatious would you say you are? If that is not the word you would use, then try the alternatives of ‘teasing’ or ‘playful’. How much are you of this?

Another toughie. I think the word ‘flirtatious’ is loaded. I’m a passionate person and you will find when speaking with me in person that I can be very animated when I speak. My outgoing personality has often been misconstrued for flirting.

How serious are you as a person?

When I’m serious, I’m serious. ‘Nuff said.

Do you think the older we become, then certain emotions are easier to handle, say as an example ‘grief’?

No. I should think grief is painful at any age, it’s just a matter of how we deal with it. Perhaps maturity helps with the way we display our grief, but that in no way changes the way we feel when we are grieving.

What is the most adventurous thing you have done to date?

I think I did a lot of courageous things when I was younger. Taking a sabbatical from life and a 3 month leave of absence from work to travel to Greece for 3 months – alone in my early 20s- turned out to be a very brave move – something I wouldn’t have the courage to do now.

What’s the craziest or riskiest thing you have ever done and simply got away with it or got caught doing it?

Lol, I can’t think of anything at the moment. Let’s just leave it at – I’ve done and gotten away. I’ll add, nothing criminal. 🙂

What do you think the future is of dating, and other ‘other’ now that social distancing has become part of your life? Will your life ‘up close and personal’ with people now be different?

Fortunately, I’m not on the dating availability list because the world has certainly changed since my simple dating days of meeting someone, going on a date and seeing where it goes from there. In this new world online dating has taken over for much of the world. This form of getting to know someone requires diligence and experience to learn first about true identities, and should require a meet up after realizing your heartstrings have been tugged at. I can tell you stories about people who thought they were in real relationships online for months on end, even years, they finally meet and one or the other has been fibbing, or once in physical presence, one or the other is not ‘feeling the love’ they thought they were. I don’t feel the virus has any bearing on this. This is human relationships.

How different do you really think you are to the next person? Are you prim and proper, strait-laced and serious, wild and abandoned, or rebellious and controversial?

I’ve always wanted to meet my doppelganger. I don’t think there is anyone like me, lol. I’ll go with rebellious and controversial and sometimes wild with abandonment, far from prim and proper, but courteous and outgoing.

During this time of global concern, how has your thinking changed with regards the planet, conservation and climate issues … or has it not changed one little bit?

My ideals about striving to make the environment better haven’t changed, the planet still needs our help. But I was heartened to see during the lock-down period, air and water qualities were better than they’d been for decades, while humans took a pause. I should hope people will remember this and each of us on the planet learns from this and works harder to change and repair.

What ‘topical’ issues considered taboo by society are you deeply passionate with and about to the point of doing something about it?

Talking forthright about politics.

What’s more important, and/or is there a difference between friendship and companionship, and if so, what is that difference?

I think companionship holds different meaning than only friendship. Companionship to me sounds like, either someone to hang around with just for company, or perhaps a paid help to care for someone as well as a ‘companion’ to keep them company. Companionship sounds a lot more generic to me than friendship.

What is your passion as regards writing genres? A) what is your chosen genre, and B) what is the genre you might like to write about but lack confidence to start?

I am a nonfiction writer, and oddly enough, I enjoy writing nonfiction. As a truth-teller I feel passionate about writing what I know through my own truth. I know it may be easier to write my stories and incorporate events into fictional stories, but for me, I feel like that would be disguising my stories’ truth.

©D.G. Kaye June 2020

About D.G.Kaye

If you are a regular visitor you will have met Debby before as a contributor writing The Travel Column for two years and now The Realm of Relationships 2020. Debby also co-hosts the Laughter Lines twice a week.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You on Goodreads

Jul 29, 2020 M.J. Mallon rated it Five Stars it was amazing

This is a very personal account of the author’s experiences of coping and coming to terms with the emotions experienced after the death of a narcissistic mother. D. G Kaye’s mother is herself a product of the terrible parenting she experienced as a child. My own mother struggled with many heartbreaking problems as she grew up. She overcame these and was and continues to be a wonderfully caring mother. I have a deep, unbreakable bond with her which I also have with my daughters.

As I continued to read further into this memoir I kept on comparing our circumstances. How sad and damaging such an uncaring, selfish parent is to her children. How can a mother behave in such a way? P.S. I Forgive You is an important read for all of us. This memoir is about letting go, releasing the emotional turmoil which begun in childhood.

It is a compelling read. It courageously deals with the extremes of family relationships. Relationships are complex and difficult even in what I would deem to be ‘normal’ families. There are many who struggle to understand or relate to their son or daughter, sister, brother, wife or husband.

But this memoir takes those problems to a whole new level that no one should have to experience. After such a damaging upbringing, D. G. Kaye has suffered but has learnt to forgive. She lives a happy, fulfilled life. That is a wonderful testament to her strength of character and her can do attitude.

I’d recommend this memoir to us all whatever our circumstances

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK – BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads:D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster – Facebook: Debby Gies

Thank you for joining us today and Debby would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -2020- Pot Luck – #WritingHabits by D.G. Kaye


Welcome to the current series of Posts from Your Archives… and I will be picking two posts from the blogs of those participating from the first six months of 2020. If you don’t mind me rifling through your archives… just let me know in the comments or you can find out the full scope: Posts from Your Archives – Pot Luck – 2020

This is the first post by D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies and she shares her observations about her writing habits and how the have changed over the course of her previous six books. I am sure something we can all relate to. This was first posted in January 2020 and just before Debby took a book break.

Change in Writing Habits, Book Break the New Book

Today I’m talking about how I notice some of my writing habits have changed through the years. When I wrote my first 6 books, I was disciplined differently. I did my writing first thing in the morning right after breakfast – or the day would surely distract me. But as the order of life sometimes changes, so has my writing.

I could write a rough draft in 2-3 months of writing 5 days a week with anywhere from 100 to 2000 words in a session, depending on the inspiration – sometimes the well is empty. After writing time, I’d move to the computer. Writing all my drafts in longhand comes in handy when wanting to stay off the computer to avoid distraction. After checking out blog comments, posts and social media, and although writing for the day was done, I then spent time in between the daily grind of life, reading articles on learning the trade of self- publishing and homing in on the craft of writing.

It’s now well over a year since I put out a new book. Oh sure, I was working on one, but somehow my enthusiasm wasn’t there, and I stopped enjoying the writing. Then life happened – a lot, then came winter vacation escape, and finally, I realized that I just needed a year off from the disciplined mandate of writing a book.

In that time of not writing a book I was still writing. I write 2 monthly columns, blog articles, book reviews, run guest interviews and have been featured as a guest myself on many blogs, and have even ventured into writing poetry more seriously. There’s no shortage of writing in my life, I just wasn’t feeling inspired to write another book without a timeout from the burnout of publishing 6 books in 5 years. Each of those books took up a good 6-8 months of my life, and I realized how swiftly life is passing by, and decided I need to be living a bit more before committing to a new project. So, I learned to accept my welcomed book writing break and learned it was okay to not be writing a book for a while. The only pressure I had was self-imposed, so I finally admitted I don’t have to write a book every day for the rest of my life, and if I’ve lost the interest for a particular project, it’s okay to abandon it. Now that doesn’t mean that all the work I’d put in would go to the delete bin. All it meant that the started manuscript would live in rest in a folder until such time I may get inspired to go back to it.

In that time away from book writing, without the rules of my self-imposed discipline hanging over me, instructing myself to write first thing in the morning, I didn’t always only write in the morning anymore. And I noticed I was developing new writing habits – writing spontaneously as compared to writing by schedule.

In my old writing habits, If the morning had passed and I was into my daily activities, I was done writing till the next morning. If an idea sprouted to mind, I’d simply jot down a sentence with the idea in a notebook to keep for fodder for a future a topic to write about. But now, throughout this past year plus that I haven’t put out a new book, I have found that random ideas have taken up more of my immediate attention—going with the inspiration when it hits. Instead of just making a notation, which would have certainly had a different interpretation than the one I originally had in mind from the magic of the moment, instead of jut jotting the thought down and left to meld into the many other fleeting ideas, I’ll immediately pick up a notebook and write what comes to mind about that topic, while it’s fresh in my mind, dropping whatever I’m doing in that moment to take advantage of the moment. I have notepads scattered in almost every room with ideas and started stories waiting to be told, instead of just ideas that were left as a sentence, never to be found again in the midst of a mountain of notepads. And I’m quite enjoying being a spontaneous writer. I’ve amassed several ideas for books and blogs this past year from random ideas that come to mind.

Through this new, no pressure process, I was sparked by an interesting book blurb I’d read while browsing through some books on Amazon, sparking a new idea for a book to write, which has since become a new enjoyable experience again. I’m thrilled to have my book writing mojo back.

It felt good to find inspiration again and to be starting a new project, despite the multitude of interruptions from daily life, and despite not always getting to write first thing in the morning or working on the book daily, My raw first draft is ready to be entered into the computer now where first round revisions will begin. I’ll be taking a winter escape break in a short few weeks, so when I return, I’ll be diving into rewrite mode as I enter my stories. As it seems life may be taking on new directions for us this year – again taking up a lot of my personal time and brain space, I hope to publish early summer. At least I now have a plan. I suppose the bonus is, the longer I allow my manuscript to marinate in-between edit rounds is a good thing.

And so, perhaps you may be wondering what I’m working on? Because it’s still a work in progress, I don’t want to give too much away, but suffice it to say, as a memoir writer, you can expect more personal stories. This book is based on ‘first times’ of doing things in life – my life. The title has yet to be finalized, but the working title is ‘Fifteen First Times’, the subtitle is: The Good, The Bad, The Funny, and The Sad. They may be my stories, but they’re relatable, and sometimes moving. So, if you enjoy reading my books, I’m confident you’ll want to read this one!

Here is a ‘very’ rough draft of a ‘working’ blurb:

A collection of first-times in life where Kaye takes us with her on some of the big moments of life’s most natural events through the intimate, conversational style we’ve come to know from this author’s style for extracting the meatiest moments in life and getting to the heart of each matter, delivered with sincerity and inflections of humor.

© D.G. Kaye January 2020

About D.G.Kaye

If you are a regular visitor you will have met Debby before as a contributor writing The Travel Column for two years and now The Realm of Relationships 2020. Debby also co-hosts the Laughter Lines twice a week.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You on Goodreads

Jul 29, 2020 M.J. Mallon rated it Five Stars it was amazing

This is a very personal account of the author’s experiences of coping and coming to terms with the emotions experienced after the death of a narcissistic mother. D. G Kaye’s mother is herself a product of the terrible parenting she experienced as a child. My own mother struggled with many heartbreaking problems as she grew up. She overcame these and was and continues to be a wonderfully caring mother. I have a deep, unbreakable bond with her which I also have with my daughters.

As I continued to read further into this memoir I kept on comparing our circumstances. How sad and damaging such an uncaring, selfish parent is to her children. How can a mother behave in such a way? P.S. I Forgive You is an important read for all of us. This memoir is about letting go, releasing the emotional turmoil which begun in childhood.

It is a compelling read. It courageously deals with the extremes of family relationships. Relationships are complex and difficult even in what I would deem to be ‘normal’ families. There are many who struggle to understand or relate to their son or daughter, sister, brother, wife or husband.

But this memoir takes those problems to a whole new level that no one should have to experience. After such a damaging upbringing, D. G. Kaye has suffered but has learnt to forgive. She lives a happy, fulfilled life. That is a wonderful testament to her strength of character and her can do attitude.

I’d recommend this memoir to us all whatever our circumstances

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK – Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads:D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster – Facebook: Debby Gies

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives


My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USBlog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Catch up with Debby’s Travel Column here : The Travel Column with D.G. Kaye

Now time for a joke or two from the archives…

Christmas at the races.

Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field. Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas Crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted he succeeded in coming in only second.

He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.

T.V game show

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa’s reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, “Rudolph and Olive!”

The host asked the contestant, “We’ll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?”

The man looked at the host and said, “You know, ‘Olive,’ the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Merry Christmas from Debby and Sally.