Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – February 16th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Welcome to laughter lines with some fun from around the web from Debby Gies and a joke or two to make you smile from Sally.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores The Realms of Relationships 2021

Now something from Sally

I have found a few more examples of exam answers failing the grade….

What is Vacuum?

Something my mother says I should do more often.

*****

What are the characteristics of crude oil?

Coarse and rude.

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What is a six-sided polygon known as?

An empty cage.

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What is a fibula?

A little lie.

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What is a vibration?

There are good vibrations and bad vibrations, they were discovered in the 1960s.

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How do you change centimetres to metres?

Take out the centi…

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What do you think is the answer to overpopulation? Support your argument with examples.

The Hunger Games.

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Imagine you lived in the time of Abraham Lincoln. What would say to him or ask him?

I’d tell  him not to go to a theatre play ever!

*****

What is the highest frequency noise a human can register?

Mariah Carey.

*****

Thanks for joining us to day and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – November 26th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin- Thanksgiving Special and More Weird Facts


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some thanksgiving funnies from Debby Gies followed by some more weird facts from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

And some who might be grateful for leftovers….

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally.

A reminder of some weird and wonderful facts over the next few weeks that are useful when there is a lull in the conversation…allegedly true!!!

1. Polar bears are left-handed
2. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
3. Mark Twain didn’t graduate from elementary school.
4. Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
5. Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner
6. Your nose and ears never stop growing
7. Your Eyeballs are the same size when you are born, as when you die!
8. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined
9. Hot water is heavier than cold
10. Starfish have eight eyes–one at the end of each leg
11. Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation
12. First novel ever written on a typewriter was “Tom Sawyer”.
13. There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year.
14. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs
15. Men get hiccups more often than woman.
16. Armadillos can be housetrained.
17. Vanilla is used to make chocolate.
18. Montpelier, Vermont, is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonald’s.
19. Tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits
20. An average of 13 boxes of Jell-O are purchased every second in the united states.
21. Almonds are members of the peach family.
22. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of “Happy Meals”.
23. The very first ice cream cone appeared in St. Louis at the 1904 World’s Fair
24. Did you know…
The combination “ough” can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful plough man strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”
25. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 18 million courses of antibiotics are prescribed for the common cold in the United States per year. Research shows that colds are caused by viruses. 50 million unnecessary antibiotics are prescribed for viral respiratory infections.
26. According to the Journal of American Medical Association, as of 1998, more than 100,000 Americans die annually from adverse reactions to prescription drugs.
27. Although it’s only 2% of our body weight, the brain uses 20% of all oxygen we breathe, 20% of the calories we take in, and 15% of the body’s blood supply.
28. A passionate kiss uses up 6.4 calories per minute.
29. 45% of Americans don’t know that the sun is a star.
30. By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds.

I know that you are very excited about learning these weird facts so I will be sharing hundreds more in coming weeks..LOL...

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you have enjoyed the post…stay safe… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 27th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Mastiffs and Lightbulbs


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally.

Complaints

A man joins a Trappist order and is told that he is allowed to say just two words every five years. After five years he speaks his two words to his superiors. ‘Bed hard’.

He is promised the problem will be looked into.

Another five years pass. This time his two words are ‘Food cold.’

Again his superiors promise to address the issue.

Five years later his two words are, ‘I quit.’ His superiors look at each other wearily.

‘We’re not in the slightest bit surprised. You’ve done nothing but complain for the last fifteen years.

Writers..

How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does it *have* to be changed?

How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!

 

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face..thanks Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2020 #Family and #Friends – Friendships – Online and Otherwise by D.G. Kaye


Welcome to the new posts from your archives with a theme of family and friends. Very important as our support system at the moment as many of us are isolated and out of physical touch. If you would like details on how to participate here is the link: Posts from Your Archives April 2020 Family and Friends

In this post D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies, speaks about the spirit of friendship and how neither time nor distance can break that bond.

Friendships – Online and Otherwise

I’m wondering if the old stigma is still attached to the concept of online friends. Do you ever find yourself feeling as though you have to explain some of your online friendships when talking to the people in your ‘real’ world? Have you ever been told that ‘those people’ aren’t real friends because they’re online?

Some people think that our online friendships are just that – online only, and when we’re offline, those friendships are out of mind. But that couldn’t be further from the truth for me with the many friendships I have made online. There, I said it again, I hate that term ‘online friend’. It’s that term that gives the friendship that feel that we’re only friends when we find each other online. That’s like saying, our real-life friendships are only friendships when we’re actually spending time together with those friends and when we don’t see them, there’s no friendship, now that’s just ridiculous thinking.

Many people physically go to their jobs where they interact with co-workers on a daily basis. Others, work from home on their computers where their daily working life is spent online, like mine. As writers and bloggers, we live in two worlds, both the physical world and online. We engage with others in writing groups, social media, on blogs, and with other creatives in our field. So just as people make friends with co-workers in the live world, it would only make sense we also form friendships in the online world.

Writers in particular, work in solitude creating, and I couldn’t imagine my world where I spend most of my waking hours, without friends. Only other writers understand our world. And after spending so much time with those we interact with daily, it only makes sense that we also form friendships with many people, and more intimate friendships with some. The beauty about the friendships we make online is that we become friends with like-minded people. And just as in our real worlds, we eventually gravitate to certain people that we have things in common with, and thus, friendship bonds are formed.

In actuality we probably spend more time with our “online” friends than we do with our real-time friends. We take some of those friendships to a higher level by communicating about more personal things that friends share through emails, instant messaging, phone calls, Facetime, Skype and various other methods of chatting live. Heck, I do that more with my friends across the miles than I spend time visiting with friends in my actual world. We share thoughts and opinions, help each other out with dilemmas on our work, promote each other’s work, laugh and sometimes even cry together. We even send virtual hugs after conversing, just as we’d do when we’re parting with a friend in our real world. That’s what friendship is all about.

Some of my best friends now were made online. Those friendships are no different than the ones I have with some of my old real-world friends, which some of them too just happen to live across the miles. How do we communicate with our loved ones who live far away in a different country? Exactly, through the same means we communicate with our friends in our online community.

So yes, I don’t care much for the term ‘online friend’. I don’t like to justify to someone in my actual world when I’m talking to them about a friend I have online. Those friendships I’ve made with people I met ‘online’ are just that – friends – who I happened to have met online. I ‘met’ them online, they aren’t just my ‘online’ friends. The geography between us has nothing to do with the value of our friendship. See the difference?

I am blessed to have a large and wonderful circle of friends I just happened to meet online. I don’t refer to them as ‘my online friends’. And when I’m chatting to my husband or a friend in my actual world about one of those friends who happens to live in another country, but I have the luxury of being able to communicate with them at the stroke of a keyboard, they are simply referred to as my friend.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on friendships made online.

©D.G. Kaye

You can find out more about friendship in Debby’s Column here each month: D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

About Debby Gies

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US

and: Amazon UK

More reviews and follow Debby: Goodreads

Connect to Debby Gies

Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye – MeWe: Debby Gies
Twitter: @pokercubsterLinkedin: D.G. Kaye
Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

My thanks to Debby for sharing this post with us and I hope that if you do not already follow her you will head over and to do so now…thanks Sally.