Smorgasbord Christmas Laughter Lines Extra with Hosts Debby Gies and Danny Kemp – Netflix and Diamonds


I hope you are having a wonderful day and please have a glass of wine if you are so inclined from are special reserve Chateau Cronin…

Despite 2020 have a few drawbacks…..laughter has been as important as ever. Two fellow bloggers have cohorted with me this year and today I have put them together in a Christmas post…Debby Gies and Danny Kemp who I am very grateful to for keeping the smiles going. Today is no exception.. Happy, Merry Christmas

Ladies first… thanks Debby for a year of funnies..

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s 2020 series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel:Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and wherever you are…have a wonderful Christmas from Debby, Danny and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – November 27th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

About an hour ago I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. “Dave! I’ve just seen your car being stolen.”
He said, “Didn’t you try to stop them?”
I said, “No, but don’t worry. I got the registration.”

There is to be no Nativity this year because the three Wise Men face a travel ban. The shepherds have been furloughed. The Innkeeper has shut under tier 3 regulations and had a slump in bookings. Santa won’t be working as he would break the rule of 6 with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner and Blitzen. As for Rudolph, with that red nose, he should be isolating and taking a test

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five quid from her purse and handed it to Fido the family dog.

When her former employer asked why the maid gave the dog five quid she swiftly answered,
“I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!!

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch, and upon inspection, he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation, and he puts up a sign that reads:

“WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!”

He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.

The farmer returned to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads:

“NOW THERE ARE TWO!

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

A review for A Covenant of Spies

Avid Reader 5.0 out of 5 stars It reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”  Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 June 2020

Daniel Kemp’s A Covenant Of Spies deals with British Intelligence investigating Russian operative.

I enjoyed the clever, complex tale featuring a net of lies and political cover-ups that made me think twice about the daily news headlines.

An entertaining story of 21st century spies and tales of the Cold War sprinkled with clues till the end, it reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”.

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – September 18th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he is back to do another open mic night for us here today.

Image may contain: text that says "My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly."

Image may contain: 2 people, text that says "EVOLUTION 2019 2020 2021"

Image may contain: text that says "Just once Id like to read a medication label that says: Warning! may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. The Journey Homie"

Image may contain: 1 person, text that says "I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE COMPLETED THE 1ST ITEM ON MY BUCKET LIST I HAVE THE BUCKET"

 

And to finish off..

Experiment…

I volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials for Covid-19, here in Bexley and I’ve received my first shot. I wanted to let you know that it’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

Told you so!

There was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors’ houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

So the young wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.” The clerk replied, “Sorry, we’re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does know karate.”

The wife didn’t believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, “Karate that chair.” The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces. Then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. The husband was of course disappointed and somewhat skeptical about the Scottie dog’s abilities as a guard dog.

When she told her husband that the dog knew karate.

He said, “Karate my ass!”

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook page…..

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

A recent review for The Widow’s Son

Kindle Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely One of the Best  Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2020

I cannot praise you enough on your style of writing, I have read volumes 1 and 2 of this series one after the others , stopping at the end beginning at the beginning no pause inbetween. This one the widows son first caught my attention with the title as I am a traveler from the East MM living in the Levant. Around the middle of this book to the ending you really out did yourself. Your plot looking at the long view of the world outstanding absolutely outstanding. One of the best stories i have read in a long time. Thank You. Steven

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 3rd 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today.

This was never going to end well!

A Welshman, an Englishman, and an Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running, they spotted a barn and ran inside.

Once inside they each hid in an old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious-looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said… ”Meow’.’

“Just cats,” he thought.

He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said… ”Woof’.’

“Just dogs,” he thought.

As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded the sack the Irishman said… ”Potatoes!”

Simple Maths

Sunderland, England.

The owner of a working men’s club along the coast was confused about paying a discounted invoice so he decided to ask his secretary for some arithmetical assistance.

He called her into his office and said, “Betty, you graduated at the University of Sunderland and I need some help. If I was to give you £20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Inventions.

I went to the Patent Office to register some of my camping inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, “A folding bottle.”

She said, “Okay, what do you call it?”

“A Fottle.”

“What else do you have?”

“I have also invented a folding carton.”

Again she said, “what do you call it?”

“A Farton.”

She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products, and one of them sounds kind of crude.”

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Danny

A recent review for A Covenant of Spies on Goodreads

Daniel Kemp’s A Covenant Of Spies deals with British Intelligence investigating Russian operative.

I enjoyed the clever, complex tale featuring a net of lies and political cover-ups that made me think twice about the daily news headlines.

An entertaining story of 21st century spies and tales of the Cold War sprinkled with clues till the end, it reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”.

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK

And : Amazon US

Read more reviews and follow Daniel on : Goodreads

Connect to Daniel

Website: Author Danny Kemp
Facebook: Books by Daniel
Twitter: @danielkemp6

My thanks to Danny for letting me share his funnies…have a good weekend and thanks for dropping in..Sally

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – New Book on the Shelves #Pre-Order – A Covenant of Spies by Daniel Kemp


Delighted to share the news of Daniel Kemp’s latest book which is on pre-order for December 17th at a special price of £1.99/ $1.99. – An international spy thriller.

About A Covenant of Spies.

In 2007, intelligence operative Nikita Kudashov attempts to escape his native Russia after a series of top-secret spying operations.

Years later, Patrick West of MI6 is assigned to investigate the operations Kudashov took part in, and discovers a shocking connection between the former Soviet Union and the Foreign And Commonwealth Office.

Can West unravel the ambiguous connection – and the final clue that disguises the information Blythe-Smith never passed on to the Secret Intelligence Service?

Head over and pre-order the book for £1.99: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07Y1LKQMG

And for $1.99 + VAT on Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Y1LKQMG

Also by Daniel Kemp

One of the recent reviews for What Happened in Vienna Jack on Goodreads

Jul 26, 2019 Brian Kitchen rated it Five Stars

If you like the novels of Graham Greene and Len Deighton, then I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy this very engrossing read, by Daniel Kemp. Set in the 1970s, this thriller is very atmospheric of the times and I really enjoyed the plot (no spoilers here folks) which involved historic secrets the establishment didn’t want revealed.

Mr Kemp has obviously studied the period and also the events leading up to the Second World War extensively and upon finishing the novel, I had to wonder whether the events he portrays, could in fact have happened.

I will certainly be reading more of Mr Kemp’s novels.

Read the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Daniel-Kemp/e/B075XRTBRP/

And on Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Daniel-Kemp/e/B075XRTBRP/

Read more reviews and follow Daniel on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17257200.Daniel_Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

Connect to Daniel

Website: https://theauthordannykemp.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/booksbydaniel/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/danielkemp6

Thank you very much for joining us today and it would be great if you would spread the news of Daniel’s new book.. thanks Sally