Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Exodus and Mary Poppins


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby was sent some great reminders of the last year and possible for some time to come!.       

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Mary Poppins…

Mary Poppins was travelling home but, due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night.

She approached the receptionist and asked for a room. “Certainly madam”, he replied courteously. “Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no”, came the reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?”

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please”, said Mary.

“Certainly, madam”, he replied.

“And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled.

“In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please”, Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

“Morning madam…sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you”, Mary replied.

“Food to your liking?”

“Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional. I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really weren’t that nice at all”, replied Mary truthfully.

“Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion”, said the receptionist.

“OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out and then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written:

“Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 11th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Brussel Sprouts and Holidays


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby was sent some great reminders of the last year and possible for some time to come!.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Off on your holidays….maybe at some point….

A travel agent looked up from his desk to notice an old lady and man peering in the shop window at the posters showing exotic locations around the world. The agent had enjoyed a very lucrative week and seeing the shabby nature of the couple looking in the window he decided to extend his luck to them.

He beckoned them into his office and sat them both down. ‘I know that it must be very difficult on a pension to spare money for a lovely holiday, so I am going to send you off to the Canary Islands for two weeks at my expense.’

He handed over two airline tickets and a voucher for a luxury room at a top resort.

About a month later the little old lady came into the travel agents to see him.

‘How did you enjoy your holiday?’ he asked.

‘The flight was wonderful and the room was absolutely lovely,’ she replied. ‘I have popped in to thank you. But one thing has puzzled me. Who was that old bloke I had to share the room with?’

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – April 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Bread and Fishes, Laundry and Good Deed


Welcome to laughter lines and as some of you may know Debby’s husband is very unwell and requires round the clock care. Update Health and Wellness However, Debby has allowed me to raid her Facebook photo archives to share with you.

april 1st 1

july 21st 3july 30th 2

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally.

No good deed goes unpunished

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,
Edna.

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened, It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving beggars at the Post Office.

 

Thanks for visiting and hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Host Sally Cronin – Funeral wishes, 2 second dogs and Benny’s dilemma


Something to get your weekend started with some

And a shaggy dog story….Poor Benny.

A pub landlord was the proud owner of a little terrier called Benny who was loved by all his regulars. Benny would leap up on the bar and do tricks and dance to music on the jukebox making people laugh and more importantly buy more drinks. When Benny was 14 he sadly died and his owner was devastated. He wanted to keep a memento so he cut Benny’s tail off, put it in a glass frame and hung it on the wall behind the bar.

Benny in the meantime had got up to heaven and found himself in front of the pearly gates. Gabriel was on duty and being a dog lover was most welcoming. However, he told Benny that he would be unable to come into heaven because he was not perfect.

“Perfect” said Benny “I have loved my master loyally, entertained his guests and made them laugh, how am I not perfect?”

“Well” said Gabriel, “You have no tail and the only way for you to get in here is to go back to earth and get it and if you want to do that I will give you until tomorrow morning before shutting the gate for ever.”

Benny immediately rushed back down to earth but it was midnight and the pub was shut. He did not have time to wait for it to open in the morning so he scratched at the door and howled under his master’s bedroom window.

The door flew open and his master stood on the doorstep in his pyjamas. “Benny, Benny what are you doing here, you’re dead!” He exclaimed more astonished than terrified.

Benny explained the situation and begged his master to stick his tail back on so that he could get into heaven.

“Oh Benny, I wish I could but you know I would lose my licence, I cannot under any circumstances, retail spirits after 11.O’Clock.

Thanks for dropping in today .. have a good weekend Sally