Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – January 2023 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Nutcracker and Long Flights

Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies who has been doing some New Year foraging for us.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Karma

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Consequences…

A doctor and a lawyer crash into each other in a country lane. Neither is hurt, but the cars are a mess. Seeing that the doctor is a bit dazed, the lawyer offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts the drink gratefully, taking a big swig and hands it back to the lawyer who puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you going to have one?’ the doctor asks. ‘I’ll have one later,’ says the lawyer, when the police have gone.’

Long flight

An aeroplane is just a couple of hours into a transatlantic flight when the captain announces, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is no cause for alarm. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.’

A few minutes later the captain comes on the intercom again.’Another engine has failed. The flight will now take an additional two hours, but we can still fly on two engines.’ Thirty minutes later the captain takes to the airwaves again. ‘One more engine has failed and the flight will now take an additional three hours. There is no cause for alarm, we still have one engine left.’

At this point one of the passengers turns to the woman sitting beside him and mutters in annoyance, ‘If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!’

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Dolly Parton and Chain Letter

Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some funnies from Sally. Thanks to those who share the funnies on the internet.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for excellent foraging

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s new series Spiritual Awareness.. Communicating Through Spiritual Energy – #Empaths

Now for some fun from Sally….

The trouble all started in the Garden of Eden

One beautiful afternoon in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals. I appreciate all that you have given me, but I’m just not happy”, Adam answers.

“Why is that, Adam”, God asks.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I have no one special to share it with and I’m lonely”, Adam explained to God.

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you”, God told him.

Perplexed, Adam asked, “What’s a woman, Lord?”

God replies, “This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.. She will cook and clean for you and do everything that you ask without ever complaining. She will provide every sexual need and fantasy you will ever think of and meet all of your sexual needs. She will bear your children and raise them without complaints. This woman will be the perfect companion for you.”

“Wow! That sounds great,” exclaimed Adam. “Where is she?”

“Not so fast,” said the Lord. “A woman this fantastic is going to cost you.”

“How much”, asked Adam.

“An arm and leg”, God replied.

Adam thought about this for a moment, then replied, “What can I get for a rib?”

Chain Letter

This chain Facebook post was started by a woman in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women.

Unlike a chain letter, it will not cost you anything. Just forward to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband, partner or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list.

When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men. One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you have already.

DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN – One woman who broke the chain got her original husband back…..

At the time of posting this, a friend of mine had already received 454 men. They buried her yesterday. It took three undertakers to get the smile off her face and two days to position her body so that they could close the coffin..

You must have faith!

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.