Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -#PotLuck -The Auditions: Part Three – Blow Into The Paper Bag by Jane Risdon


Welcome to the  Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience.

If you would like to know how it works here is the original post: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

This is the third post from author Jane Risdon and since you enjoyed the audition posts over the last two weeks here is part three and you can find the link to part four and five on Jane’s blog at the end of the post….

The Auditions: Part Three – Blow Into The Paper Bag by Jane Risdon

The guys didn’t get the chop, though judging from the expression on the super-star singer’s face, it was a close shave in more ways than one; the guillotine loomed over their heads, but she didn’t get to taste blood – yet!

After a lot of not so gentle persuasion the bass player, under threat of a good thumping from the drummer, and their management, managed to get through Rock n’ Roll with plenty of attitude.

The super-star beamed with delight. They all breathed a sigh of relief.

Next, he wanted a medley of his greatest hits and so everyone tuned-up ready.

His biggest hit was about half way through when suddenly the drums came to a deafening halt.

Everyone stared at the drum kit. Where was the drummer?

They soon found out; he was lying beside the kick drum, puffing and panting, puce in the face.

Looks were exchanged, they all ran towards him. Had he had a heart attack?

Management knew he wasn’t drunk or drugged, so what else could it be? They wondered if someone need call 911 and the Paramedics.

He sat up, grasping his manager by the shirt, pulling him close.

Everyone leaned forward, straining. Wondering.

‘A what?’ His manager shouted.

Then he turned round.

‘Anyone got a brown paper bag?’

Everyone stared, wondering what the hell he was on about. ‘He needs a brown paper bag, fast.’

Luckily a runner had been out to get Mexican food earlier and soon the drummer had a greasy, smelly, brown paper bag covering his face as he blew frantically into it.

Everyone watched, fascinated.

Soon his management realised what had happened

‘He’s hyperventilating.’

The super-star singer looked at him as if I were losing the plot.

‘They recommend blowing into a paper bag if you hyperventilate.’

‘Oh, right.’

The band crowded round and watched as gradually the drummer recovered.

The super star’s manager chewed frantically on his gum.

‘Happens when I get over-excited, I can’t breathe, so I’ve got to blow into a bag.’

The drummer beamed.

Oh God. Why us? Why us? Management stressed.

The ground remained solid despite them both wanting it to open up ad swallow them.

‘It’s so cool playing with you guys, just thinking about it, playing your stuff. I can’t help it.’

The drummer gushed.

The other musicians tried not to giggle, unsure what sort of illness this English guy had.

Violent thoughts filled his manager’s mind. His business partner was having similar ones.

‘Jeez, can’t imagine what you’re like getting over-excited with a chick.’

The iconic guitarist commented, sending everyone into fits, except the bass player.

He glared at the drummer.

‘Make sure you blow Poison, so you’ll remember it in a minute.’ Management fell about; the others looked puzzled.

The super-star regarded the drummer for a while and then asked him if he’d be all right to carry on.

‘Yeah I’m good to go now.’ Getting behind the kit again, he gave the thumbs up.

‘Why a brown paper bag?’

The super star didn’t get it.

‘Do you need any more?’

The drummer thought for a moment and then said, ‘No I think I’m OK now.’

He smiled at everyone in the studio, and flicked his hair, obviously feeling so much better.

‘It doesn’t work with any other colour; brown is sort of cool, sort of beautiful.’

Dear God.

After they’d run through all the songs the super-star singer wanted them to play, it was time to leave and let the next hopefuls take their turn.

The super-star and his management called both managers, and they chatted for a while.

They loved the guys, thought they looked cool, and were fun.

The managers felt their hearts sink…but…

The super star’s manager nodded enthusiastically, the musicians’ managers groaned.

They’d been around the block a few times don’t forget.

The super star stood next to them and smiled.

He agreed.

They could certainly play to the standard required, they were sort of really cool.

They’d audition the other hopefuls and they’d get back to the guys (management) by the end of the week.

Everyone shook hands, got their gear sorted and waved goodbye.

‘Don’t forget to take your brown paper bag with you,’ someone yelled.

The drummer called back, ‘Thanks, it’s OK, keep it. I’ve got loads back in the car.’

©Jane Risdon 2015

I know that you are dying to know what happened next…. well the next two parts can be found  in this folder on Jane’s website….

Books by Jane Risdon.

About the book

Under one cover for the first time a collection of Crime Shorts from Jane Risdon featuring previously unpublished stories which will have you on the edge of your seat. There is an extract from Jane’s forthcoming novel (series) Ms Birdsong Investigates Murder at Ampney Parva: Operation Matryoshka – with the title of Undercover – for those who’ve been awaiting this series about a former MI5 Intelligence Office, Lavinia Birdsong. There’s something for everyone who enjoys a good yarn and more twists and turns than Spaghetti Junction.

One of the early reviews for Undercover Crime Shorts

Fast-paced, well written, page turner that had me so engrossed my train journey flew by. The author clearly has done a lot of research, these short stories all felt very authentic and each had me gripped and on the edge of my seat wondering how they would play out. It’s been a long time since I read anything quite so intriguing and twisty. It certainly got my heart beating faster and I’d highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a great murder, mystery.

Also by Jane Risdon

Read the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y8/

Read more reviews and follow Jane on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5831801.Jane_Risdon

About Jane Risdon

Jane Risdon began writing five years ago having had a successful career in the International Music Industry which has taken her all over the world working with everything from Rock, Thrash Metal, and R&B/Pop to Chinese Opera. Her work has taken her to North America, Europe, and Singapore: even to Taiwan.

She’s been involved in Television, Radio, and the Movies around the world.

Travelling extensively and living overseas she draws upon her life experiences when writing Crime/Mystery novels, short stories in all genres – including humour, and she has dabbled in flash fiction.

Some of these experiences have found their way into her short stories about the Music Business, and she is presently working on a novel which will bring a lot of her more crazy ‘rock ‘n roll’ experiences into one tome.

Her main focus remains crime however, and she is working on a series of novels called ‘Ms Birdsong Investigates’ centered around a glamorous ex MI5 Officer forced into early retirement, who is trying to keep a low profile in a rural village in Oxfordshire. Her past experiences come to the fore when she finds herself investigating murder. Soon she finds herself back on old territory with Russian Mafia, Ukrainian People Traffickers and an old flame to deal with.

Connect to Jane Risdon

Blog:  https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/ 
Facebook: http://wp.me/2dg55 http://www.facebook.com/JaneRisdon2 
Accent Press: http://www.accentpress.co.uk/jane-risdon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jane_Risdon

Thank you for dropping in today and I know that Jane would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.

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Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives – #PotLuck – The Auditions Part Two: Let’s Play Rock ‘n’ Roll by Zeppelin by Jane Risdon


Welcome to the  Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience.

If you would like to know how it works here is the original post: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

This is the third post from author Jane Risdon and since you enjoyed the audition posts last week.. here is part two…

The Auditions Part Two: Let’s Play Rock ‘n’ Roll by Zeppelin by Jane Risdon

Red Corvette rear end

The red corvette revved up and down the parking lot outside the warehouse in LA where the auditions were taking place.

Everyone watched in fascination as the driver sped up and down for a good fifteen minutes before parking close by and getting out to greet them.

It was the superstar singer himself.

‘Like my new auto?’

They liked. Very much.

‘Just picked it up from the showroom this morning.’

Everyone sat outside the rehearsal area feeding the bass player pain killers for his broken nose and black eyes.

He’d refused medical assistance…’I’m Irish, I can take it.’ He told his management for the umpteenth time,

Everyone thought he looked like a cool British dude with his shades, ripped jeans, and tee shirt with the arm-holes cut to his waist. Popping pills just enhanced his image so he told them. Right.

The drummer sat tapping his sticks, looking every inch the rock star in his long leather coat, cowboy boots and big shades.

Everyone hoped the superstar wouldn’t want to see the bass player without his shades until after he’d auditioned.

He looked as if he’d gone several rounds with Mohamed Ali.

He had removed the wadding up his nose and put tons of Max Factor foundation over the bruised area. The swelling had subsided a little thanks to a constant supply of ice-cubes applied to his mis-shapen conk.

Fingers crossed he wouldn’t need to sing backing vocals.

The star’s manager called the guys into the audition.

The drummer tripped over his new Spanish leather Cowboy boots and almost fell face down at the feet of the famous lead guitarist he was hoping to join on tour. He sat at the drum kit and waited whilst everyone got organised, flicking his newly styled hair and checking his image in the full length mirrors lining the walls.

The bass player picked up his instrument and lit a cigarette – he wasn’t nervous at all; the super-star would be lucky to have him join the band.

The super-star took up position in front of the microphone.

‘Let’s run through some of my biggest hits.’

The lead guitarist began with an instantly recognisable riff. The drummer joined in and the singer waited for his cue….and they all waited for the bass to start.

He didn’t join in.

The super star shrugged and sucked his perfectly even and expensive white teeth.

‘OK let’s try Rock and Roll by Zeppelin just to warm you guys up.’

The super star suggested, thinking the guy was nervous.

‘I don’t do anyone else’s stuff.’ The bass player muttered, blowing smoke into the air nonchalantly.

‘Yeah, but everyone knows Zeppelin.’ The superstar singer looked taken back.

‘Well, I don’t.’

The bass player’s management shut their eyes. What the hell? He knew Zeppelin, of course he did.

‘I’ve got a fab song we can play, I’ll get it.’

The super star’s mouth dropped open, not a filling in sight. His eyes popped.

The bass player searched his pockets. His management gaped in horror.

Had the idiot any idea how much trouble they’d gone through to set up this gig? First the guitarist turned the opportunity down, now this egotist was pushing his luck.

Hundreds globally had applied for the gig and only this management’s three musicians had been chosen along with about six other seriously talented musicians.

The studio fell silent and the lead guitarist took his shades off to stare at this Irish guy who had the nerve to suggest the super group played one of his songs.

The super-star glanced over at the stage set featuring a guillotine and grinned an evil grin.

©Jane Risdon 2015

I will share part three of the auditions next week in the Jane’s final post and then give you the link to part four on her blog.. Thanks to Jane for allowing us along with her on this particular trip..

Books by Jane Risdon.

About the book

Under one cover for the first time a collection of Crime Shorts from Jane Risdon featuring previously unpublished stories which will have you on the edge of your seat. There is an extract from Jane’s forthcoming novel (series) Ms Birdsong Investigates Murder at Ampney Parva: Operation Matryoshka – with the title of Undercover – for those who’ve been awaiting this series about a former MI5 Intelligence Office, Lavinia Birdsong. There’s something for everyone who enjoys a good yarn and more twists and turns than Spaghetti Junction.

One of the early reviews for the book

Fast-paced, well written, page turner that had me so engrossed my train journey flew by. The author clearly has done a lot of research, these short stories all felt very authentic and each had me gripped and on the edge of my seat wondering how they would play out. It’s been a long time since I read anything quite so intriguing and twisty. It certainly got my heart beating faster and I’d highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a great murder, mystery.

Also by Jane Risdon

Read the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y8/

Read more reviews and follow Jane on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5831801.Jane_Risdon

About Jane Risdon

Jane Risdon began writing five years ago having had a successful career in the International Music Industry which has taken her all over the world working with everything from Rock, Thrash Metal, and R&B/Pop to Chinese Opera. Her work has taken her to North America, Europe, and Singapore: even to Taiwan.

She’s been involved in Television, Radio, and the Movies around the world.

Travelling extensively and living overseas she draws upon her life experiences when writing Crime/Mystery novels, short stories in all genres – including humour, and she has dabbled in flash fiction.

Some of these experiences have found their way into her short stories about the Music Business, and she is presently working on a novel which will bring a lot of her more crazy ‘rock ‘n roll’ experiences into one tome.

Her main focus remains crime however, and she is working on a series of novels called ‘Ms Birdsong Investigates’ centered around a glamorous ex MI5 Officer forced into early retirement, who is trying to keep a low profile in a rural village in Oxfordshire. Her past experiences come to the fore when she finds herself investigating murder. Soon she finds herself back on old territory with Russian Mafia, Ukrainian People Traffickers and an old flame to deal with.

Connect to Jane Risdon

Blog:  https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/ 
Facebook: http://wp.me/2dg55 http://www.facebook.com/JaneRisdon2 
Accent Press: http://www.accentpress.co.uk/jane-risdon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jane_Risdon

Thank you for dropping in today and I know that Jane would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – New Book on the Shelves – Undercover: Crime Shorts by Jane Risdon.


Delighted to share the short story collection from Jane Risdon.. Undercover: Crime Shorts that hit the Amazon shelves on May 6th.

About the book

Under one cover for the first time a collection of Crime Shorts from Jane Risdon featuring previously unpublished stories which will have you on the edge of your seat. There is an extract from Jane’s forthcoming novel (series) Ms Birdsong Investigates Murder at Ampney Parva: Operation Matryoshka – with the title of Undercover – for those who’ve been awaiting this series about a former MI5 Intelligence Office, Lavinia Birdsong. There’s something for everyone who enjoys a good yarn and more twists and turns than Spaghetti Junction.

Author and former detective Roger A Price says: Undercover: Crime Shorts is the ideal companion for the crime fiction fan’s daily commute. You’ll run out of journey before you run out of book with this cleverly crafted mix of crime fiction short stories. Beware as you might miss your stop!

Reader Gloria Clulow says: As with all your stories I find them intriguing and unpredictable, leaving me wanting more; I don’t want them to end.

Margot Kinberg, Associate Professor and author says of Undercover: What a gripping story, so well written. You’ve packed so much ‘punch’ into it, loved it. I really felt the rising tension and suspicion! You’ve captured the suspense of it beautifully and it is such a great set-up with good characters.

Head over and buy the collection: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07RFRVL4P

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RFRVL4P

Also by Jane Risdon
One of the recent reviews for the book

Colm Herron 5.0 out of 5 stars Two stunning authors 5 February 2019

The Sixties are still a bit of a blur for me. That means I was there. And I have a lot of broken hearts to prove it – all mine. I was shot down so many times in those ten or so years that it’s a wonder I’m still here. All of which means I know something of the problems and the heartache that Only One Woman’s main protagonists Renza and Stella went through. But it wasn’t Scott I was after. Definitely not, believe me. It was Patricia and Hazel and Marie and Ann and Sybil and Melanie and …. I can’t go on.

The two girls in Only One Woman tell of their crush on Scott in a way that can only mean that the authors of this wonderfully nostalgic and loving look at the Sixties were rapt witnesses to those amazing years. The people, the songs, the music, the styles – and most of all the attitudes. In one sense it didn’t matter too much to me which of these two girls ended up with Scott because far more important than that was the way that these two authors got right into the hearts of the lovestruck Renza and Stella.

Ah, the authors. First, Christina Jones. Apart from a scintillating career in writing which began when she was a mere child, she has done so many odd-jobs – as well as odd jobs – that her life experience cannot be doubted. (Possibly the only work she didn’t do was captaining a North Sea oil rig, although I’m open to correction on that). And her co-author in this labour of love they have written is the incomparable Jane Risdon. Jane has been closely involved in so many fascinating experiences that she needs a separate wardrobe for all the T-shirts she has to vouch for it. Rock, Thrash Metal, Pop, R&B, Chinese Opera as well as movies, television and radio worldwide. And now writing, which amazingly she only got into five years ago. Stunning. Both stunning people.

Read the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Jane-Risdon/e/B00I3GJ2Y8/

Read more reviews and follow Jane on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5831801.Jane_Risdon

About Jane Risdon

Jane Risdon began writing five years ago having had a successful career in the International Music Industry which has taken her all over the world working with everything from Rock, Thrash Metal, and R&B/Pop to Chinese Opera. Her work has taken her to North America, Europe, and Singapore: even to Taiwan.

She’s been involved in Television, Radio, and the Movies around the world.

Travelling extensively and living overseas she draws upon her life experiences when writing Crime/Mystery novels, short stories in all genres – including humour, and she has dabbled in flash fiction.

Some of these experiences have found their way into her short stories about the Music Business, and she is presently working on a novel which will bring a lot of her more crazy ‘rock ‘n roll’ experiences into one tome.

Her main focus remains crime however, and she is working on a series of novels called ‘Ms Birdsong Investigates’ centered around a glamorous ex MI5 Officer forced into early retirement, who is trying to keep a low profile in a rural village in Oxfordshire. Her past experiences come to the fore when she finds herself investigating murder. Soon she finds herself back on old territory with Russian Mafia, Ukrainian People Traffickers and an old flame to deal with.

Connect to Jane Risdon

Blog:  https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/ 
Facebook: http://wp.me/2dg55 http://www.facebook.com/JaneRisdon2 
Accent Press: http://www.accentpress.co.uk/jane-risdon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jane_Risdon

It would be great if you could share the news of Jane’s new release.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives – #PotLuck – The Auditions: Part One – Snore Poison So I’ll Know It by Jane Risdon


Welcome to the  Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience.

If you would like to know how it works here is the original post: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

This is the second post from author Jane Risdon, and last week she took us on a ‘Jolly’ to Hardwick Hall to meet its extraordinary owner Bess Hardwick who after Queen Elizabeth I was one of the most powerful women in England of that age.

For those of you who would like to read part two of Hardwick Hall as well… here is the link: Hardwick Hall Part Two.

This week you get to rock ‘n’ roll with Jane who enjoyed a successful career in the music industry… and accompany her to an audition in Hollywood… you will need nerves as steel….the music business is not for sissies…

The Auditions: Part One – Snore Poison So I’ll Know It by Jane Risdon

Aerial Hollywood Sign.jpg

Back in 1989 two musicians were invited to audition for a super group in Los Angeles, whose lead singer was known all over the world for his shocking live shows. Originally he requested a lead guitarist managed by the same team as well, but the guitarist had other ideas; he wanted to be a star in his own right, not part of a touring band supporting a super-star.

All this was very frustrating given the amount of hard work his management had put into getting them all noticed and considered – competition was global for this incredible opportunity and only the best were to be auditioned – not to mention the management’s financial outlay on their behalf. Typically, he kept his thoughts to himself until zero hour when Visa’s had been arranged and paid for, air-tickets had been purchased, hotels rooms booked, not to mention a whole new wardrobe. But let’s not dwell upon all that.

So he dropped out and they took the drummer and the bass player as originally planned.

Having learned every song ever released by the super-star over a very long career, the musicians were ready be put through their paces. It was hard work preparing but they were enthusiastic and excited at the prospect of world domination, tons of dosh and more women than they could imagine, so they gritted their teeth, checked their image constantly and took on the persona befitting soon to be super-stars.

One of the musicians, the bass player, had never been to America before and his head was obviously swimming with excitement and the awesomeness of it all. He wanted to drink it all in and experience everything and, believe it guys, when he got there he did his best to drink as much as he could at every watering hole he could find.

The drummer, an old hand at being in Hollywood, spent most of his time warning his fellow musician about the gun crime – snipers on every roof Downtown apparently – and the hookers on every street corner whom he seemed to befriend whenever he could. That’s as far as it ever went his managers were sure. The drummer was a very sensitive creature and was concerned for their welfare – seriously he was.

He was really more interested in visiting every clothing store he knew rock stars frequented, purchasing the latest fashions and showing off his own ‘British’ rock look which apparently had everyone thrilled and excited to behold. His management noticed the looks and overheard the comments. He, on the other hand, only saw and heard what he wanted to.

The bass player enjoyed being the object of curiosity around the hotel pool. He really looked the part of the cool British Rock Star. No end of bikini-clad ‘resting’ actresses asked him more than once if he was ‘anyone famous.’ He decided to keep them guessing. The management lips were sealed.

These sexy young hopefuls spent their day lounging beside the pool, make-up expertly applied and their very expensive boobs spilling from their designer tops, reading scripts or talking loudly about their next movie, television series or audition or where was the best place to see and be seen. The drummer could’ve given them the low-down.

They ventured into the water now and again, complete with all their jewellery on show, heads bobbing as they gently swam, desperately trying to keep their Beverly Hills hair creations above the waterline, all the time watching the comings and goings around the pool, mindful of those who might be ‘someone.’

The afternoon before ‘the’ audition it was suggested the musicians relax by the hotel pool, chilling with the would-be starlets posing hopefully, desperate to ‘connect’ with a movie director, famous rock star or rich husband whoever he might turn out to be.

The musicians were warned about ‘fortune hunters.’

But they were men of the world; they’d been there, done that and were wearing the tee shirts to prove it.

They’d rehearsed themselves silly and needed to chill and prepare themselves mentally for the task ahead. The pool was safer than letting them loose on the town and the bars.

Previous experience of them relaxing and fighting off a hooker’s irate pimp outside their suite wasn’t something the management planned on repeating the night before the auditions. Time is money after-all, even if a potential ‘client’ only wants to ask the girls what led them to the life they were leading…seriously.

Their management managed to blag time earlier in the day on a fabulous drum-kit and an expensive bass guitar in The Guitar Center, where anyone who’s anyone goes to tinker and show off to an audience of everyone else, tinkering and showing off their musical skills. It’s one of those places. Besides, the musicians were sizing up new gear which they’d be purchasing once they were part of the super-star singer’s touring band.

Back to the pool.

 (c) Jane Risdon 2014

Out to impress, the Dublin born bass player decided to take a dip in the pool. He climbed the diving board in his sexiest swimming shorts and posed for the girls, before diving head first into the pool…at the shallow end.

Besides knocking himself out, he managed to break his nose and blacken both his eyes. Not quite the image needed to impress the super-star singer. The dark shades would be needed all right, and not for the usual posing.

Backing vocals – if required – might prove challenging.

Murder crossed his manager’s minds, but they were in America. Visions of electric chairs soon put paid to such thoughts – for now.

A trip to the local pharmacy managed to patch him up with wadding up his nose and plasters across it. He refused a trip to hospital – he was Irish after all, and could deal with the pain, so he insisted. Topped up with pain killers he returned to the rooms he shared with the drummer, insisting he wanted to have an early night. The drummer had his usual string of international phone calls to make; he had a harem waiting back in England, hanging on his every move and waiting to know the latest from Hollywood.

Instead of going to bed early, the draw of Hollywood night-life proved too much, and the Irish bassist decided to pay a visit to a well-known Irish pub, The Cat and Fiddle, to drown his sorrows even though he’d been banned from going out at night without telling his managers… he crept out, so they couldn’t say no.

The drummer, once his calls were made, decided upon an early night and was apparently fast asleep when the bass player returned worse for wear in the early hours. They shared a room in the same corridor as the management who thought they could keep a watchful eye on them both. Right.

Their managers were woken in the night by what they first thought was an earthquake. But it soon became clear it was the bass player’s loud snoring, his broken nose and alcohol obviously being the cause. He’d delighted everyone with his nocturnal rumblings before. No doubt everyone else on the floor could hear him as well.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and yelling.

Their managers dashed into their room to find the drummer smacking six bells out of the drummer with the telephone, screaming at the top of his voice, ‘If you’ve got to snore, snore ‘Poison,’ so I’ll remember it in the morning.’

He had to be dragged screaming and kicking from the room. The bass player sat up, looked around the room briefly, and fell back asleep. Soon he was snoring as loudly as ever.

All photos (c) Jane Risdon All Rights Reserved 2014

 I would have paid good money to have been a specatator to these shenanigans… thanks to Jane for sharing the pain and the glory…

Books by Jane Risdon

Two women, one love story.

June 1968. Renza falls head over heels for heartthrob guitarist Scott. But after a romantic summer together they are torn apart when Renza’s family moves away.

December 1968. On the night she believes to be her last, Stella meets Scott at a local dance. He’s the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen and if this one night is all they have, she’ll take it.

As the final colourful year of the sixties dawns, the question is: can there be only one woman for Scott?

One of the recent reviews for the book

Colm Herron 5.0 out of 5 stars Two stunning authors 5 February 2019

The Sixties are still a bit of a blur for me. That means I was there. And I have a lot of broken hearts to prove it – all mine. I was shot down so many times in those ten or so years that it’s a wonder I’m still here. All of which means I know something of the problems and the heartache that Only One Woman’s main protagonists Renza and Stella went through. But it wasn’t Scott I was after. Definitely not, believe me. It was Patricia and Hazel and Marie and Ann and Sybil and Melanie and …. I can’t go on.

The two girls in Only One Woman tell of their crush on Scott in a way that can only mean that the authors of this wonderfully nostalgic and loving look at the Sixties were rapt witnesses to those amazing years. The people, the songs, the music, the styles – and most of all the attitudes. In one sense it didn’t matter too much to me which of these two girls ended up with Scott because far more important than that was the way that these two authors got right into the hearts of the lovestruck Renza and Stella.

Ah, the authors. First, Christina Jones. Apart from a scintillating career in writing which began when she was a mere child, she has done so many odd-jobs – as well as odd jobs – that her life experience cannot be doubted. (Possibly the only work she didn’t do was captaining a North Sea oil rig, although I’m open to correction on that). And her co-author in this labour of love they have written is the incomparable Jane Risdon. Jane has been closely involved in so many fascinating experiences that she needs a separate wardrobe for all the T-shirts she has to vouch for it. Rock, Thrash Metal, Pop, R&B, Chinese Opera as well as movies, television and radio worldwide. And now writing, which amazingly she only got into five years ago. Stunning. Both stunning people.

 Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Only-One-Woman-Christina-Jones-ebook/dp/B075D88JBP

and Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Only-One-Woman-Christina-Jones-ebook/dp/B075D88JBP

Read more reviews and follow Jane on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5831801.Jane_Risdon

And just available this week with a new book on the shelves promotion on Tuesday.

Under one cover for the first time a collection of Crime Shorts from Jane Risdon featuring previously unpublished stories which will have you on the edge of your seat. There is an extract from Jane’s forthcoming novel (series) Ms Birdsong Investigates Murder at Ampney Parva: Operation Matryoshka – with the title of Undercover – for those who’ve been awaiting this series about a former MI5 Intelligence Office, Lavinia Birdsong. There’s something for everyone who enjoys a good yarn and more twists and turns than Spaghetti Junction. Author and former detective Roger A Price says: Undercover: Crime Shorts is the ideal companion for the crime fiction fan’s daily commute. You’ll run out of journey before you run out of book with this cleverly crafted mix of crime fiction short stories. Beware as you might miss your stop! Reader Gloria Clulow says:

Head over and buy the collection: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07RFRVL4

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RFRVL4P

About Jane Risdon

Jane Risdon began writing five years ago having had a successful career in the International Music Industry which has taken her all over the world working with everything from Rock, Thrash Metal, and R&B/Pop to Chinese Opera. Her work has taken her to North America, Europe, and Singapore: even to Taiwan.

She’s been involved in Television, Radio, and the Movies around the world.

Travelling extensively and living overseas she draws upon her life experiences when writing Crime/Mystery novels, short stories in all genres – including humour, and she has dabbled in flash fiction.

Some of these experiences have found their way into her short stories about the Music Business, and she is presently working on a novel which will bring a lot of her more crazy ‘rock ‘n roll’ experiences into one tome.

Her main focus remains crime however, and she is working on a series of novels called ‘Ms Birdsong Investigates’ centered around a glamorous ex MI5 Officer forced into early retirement, who is trying to keep a low profile in a rural village in Oxfordshire. Her past experiences come to the fore when she finds herself investigating murder. Soon she finds herself back on old territory with Russian Mafia, Ukrainian People Traffickers and an old flame to deal with.

Connect to Jane Risdon

Blog:  https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/ 
Facebook: http://wp.me/2dg55 http://www.facebook.com/JaneRisdon2 
Accent Press: http://www.accentpress.co.uk/jane-risdon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jane_Risdon

Thanks again to Jane for sharing her archives.. please tune in next week for another adventure…Thanks Sally

 

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives – #PotLuck – Hardwick Hall: another ‘jolly’ from 2016 – Part One – Bess of Hardwick, a force to be reckoned with, by Jane Risdon


Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience.

If you would like to know how it works here is the original post: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

This is the first post of four from author Jane Risdon… Jane loves to go on a ‘jolly’ for those of you who are unfamiliar with the expression… It is taking a road trip and having fun.. basically. In Jane’s case it usually involves visiting a place with history, and finding out more about the people who lived there.. The first post from her archives of 2016 is an example of that.

For those of you who would like to read part two of Hardwick Hall as well… here is the link: Hardwick Hall Part Two.

Hardwick Hall: another ‘jolly’ from 2016 – Part One – Bess of Hardwick, a force to be reckoned with, by Jane Risdon

My ‘jollies’ have taken me to many fascinating places (I think) and I enjoy sharing my experiences with you.

I have had to divide the posting of my ‘Jolly’ to Hardwick Hall into more than one due to the sheer volume of items to see and, as usual, I went crazy taking photos. Sadly I don’t have information for every item but I hope just seeing everything will be enjoyable and might even tempt you in to visiting yourself.

Hardwick Hall Ruins Oct 2016 (c) Jane Risdon 2016

Hardwick Hall is a great Elizabethan House, built to create and proclaim the impression – and fact – of great wealth and status of a great woman, Bess of Hardwick who – four times married – became the most remarkable Elizabethan woman in England, next to the Queen herself.

Fine tapestries and decoration throughout (c) Jane Risdon 2016

Bess was born at Hardwick Hall, then a small manor house in the mid-1520s, her father was John Hardwick, a country squire who died when she was under a year old, leaving his family of five young children in reduced financial circumstances.

Hardwick Hall Gatehouse with elaborate finials and decoration (c) Jane Risdon 2016

He left money but due to the cash strapped Henry VIII reviving tax rules, the estate was seized by the Crown and at least half sold into ‘Wardship,’ meaning the family lost control of their land until an heir, Bess’s little brother James, came of age.

Unfortunately the family was squeezed so hard, by the appointed ‘Wards,’ for revenue from the farms, that there was nothing left for the family. The lands and Hardwick Hall were valued at £20 remained with the Crown, although the family remained there, it is possible they were paying rent for the privilege.

The Penelope Tapestries (c) Jane Risdon 2016

Bess’s mother, also Elizabeth, to keep her family together, re-married. Her husband was Ralph Leche, the younger son of a Chatsworth family. He owned very little but had a small annual annuity of just under £7 per year and an income from some scattered leases.

Fine tapestries throughout (c) Jane Risdon 2016

Learning from her childhood adversity Bess’s lessons stood her in good stead. For the rest of her life she fought for what was rightfully hers, dealing skillfully with financial and legal matters.

Hardwick Hall is magnificent, inside and outside.

This amazing woman knew that her hill-top mansion, with tall turrets, stone carved initials and fabulous display of costly glass glittering as visitors arrived (even today) would be marvelled at and discussed at every level of society. People came to stare at the mansion as it stood golden on the hill-top.

Bess had so many windows which need to be glazed that it proved expensive to pay the glaziers to do the whole house, so she went into business making and fitting window glass, and was soon supplying vast numbers of customers. Such was her entrepreneurial skills and ambitions.

The architecture, the grand chambers and furnishings of precious tapestries and rare needlework hangings are awesome now and I can only imagine the impact they made back in her day.

In the State Rooms the fabulous wall hangings are topped by rural scenes of forests and we were told by one of the guides that the trees on the decoration were in fact real trees, which Bess had placed along the top of the walls creating a 3D effect.

There is so much to see inside, that you really need more than a day to do it justice, but I had only an afternoon.

I took dozens of photos as usual, and this is going to have to be spread over several different postings.

The State Rooms (c) Jane Risdon 2016

Just a word – it was taken over by the National Trust fifty years ago and the volunteers who occupy each room as you move around this wonderful house, go out of their way to inform, answer questions, and generally make the tour so very interesting. One elderly gentleman also filled us in on his own family history as he followed us from room to room, which was riveting, but a little time-consuming.

The introductory talk by one such gentleman outside in the rain-soaked entrance porch was so entertaining, we didn’t realise how hard it had begun to rain.

As a young girl Bess explored the hillsides and pastures at Hardwick with her siblings and half-sisters. She enjoyed playing with wooden toys, games and chanting nursery rhymes so we were told.

She learnt her letters and arithmetic from her mother who was reading from a ‘hornbook‘ which I discovered is paper protected by a thin layer of translucent horn.

Bess could play a keyboard instrument, given lessons in deportment (I had those at school, the Nuns had us carrying books on our heads with a stick down the back of our clothes ensuring we walked straight, head held high) I imagine Bess had to do the same.

She was encouraged to express herself confidently. As she got older she helped her mother manage the household.

Early financial difficulties taught her that she should take her chances when she could and the world owed her nothing. A very modern woman.

Apparently she was a popular and personable woman, formed friendships easily (four husbands don’t forget) and she was very ambitious, determined that the hardships she endured in youth should never be inflicted upon her own children and step-children.

Her marriages brought her wealth and grand houses, she honed her architectural skills (which were plenty) on Chatsworth which was her first building project.

Her other family houses included Bolsover, Welbeck, Sheffield, Tutbury and Worksop.

She had dynastic ambitions and these were realised through her children with the dukedoms of Devonshire, Norfolk, Portland, Newcastle and Kingston. As a matriarchal figure Bess fought her way to the top of society in Elizabethan England. With each marriage she gained more power, more land and more security for her children.

I won’t turn this into a history lesson, I wanted to share the beauty of Hardwick Hall and some of Bess’s Achievements internally. If this has whetted your appetite to visit this wonderful house or to know more about Bess, do go online, there is so much information about her there.

I shall be posting part two soon – do keep an eye out – for more photos and information on this remarkable woman

Recommended reading:

Bess of Hardwick: Portrait of an Elizabethan Dynast – David N Durant (revised 2001 – Peter Owen)
Bess of Hardwick – Mary S Lovell (Abacus 2006)
Arbella: England’s Lost Queen – Sarah Gristwood (Murray 1991)
Hardwick Hall, Doe Lea, Chesterfield, Derbyshire, S44 5QI
+44 (0)1246 850430
National Trust: hardwick@nationaltrust.org.uk

All photos (c) Jane Risdon 2016 All Rights Reserved.

For those of you who would like to read part two of Hardwick Hall… here is the link: Hardwick Hall Part Two.

My thanks to Jane for opening up her archives for this series.. you will find many more ‘Jollies’ on her blog and next week I will be sharing another of her posts.

About Only One Woman

Two women, one love story.

June 1968. Renza falls head over heels for heartthrob guitarist Scott. But after a romantic summer together they are torn apart when Renza’s family moves away.

December 1968. On the night she believes to be her last, Stella meets Scott at a local dance. He’s the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen and if this one night is all they have, she’ll take it.

As the final colourful year of the sixties dawns, the question is: can there be only one woman for Scott?

One of the recent reviews for the book

Colm Herron 5.0 out of 5 stars Two stunning authors 5 February 2019

The Sixties are still a bit of a blur for me. That means I was there. And I have a lot of broken hearts to prove it – all mine. I was shot down so many times in those ten or so years that it’s a wonder I’m still here. All of which means I know something of the problems and the heartache that Only One Woman’s main protagonists Renza and Stella went through. But it wasn’t Scott I was after. Definitely not, believe me. It was Patricia and Hazel and Marie and Ann and Sybil and Melanie and …. I can’t go on.

The two girls in Only One Woman tell of their crush on Scott in a way that can only mean that the authors of this wonderfully nostalgic and loving look at the Sixties were rapt witnesses to those amazing years. The people, the songs, the music, the styles – and most of all the attitudes. In one sense it didn’t matter too much to me which of these two girls ended up with Scott because far more important than that was the way that these two authors got right into the hearts of the lovestruck Renza and Stella.

Ah, the authors. First, Christina Jones. Apart from a scintillating career in writing which began when she was a mere child, she has done so many odd-jobs – as well as odd jobs – that her life experience cannot be doubted. (Possibly the only work she didn’t do was captaining a North Sea oil rig, although I’m open to correction on that). And her co-author in this labour of love they have written is the incomparable Jane Risdon. Jane has been closely involved in so many fascinating experiences that she needs a separate wardrobe for all the T-shirts she has to vouch for it. Rock, Thrash Metal, Pop, R&B, Chinese Opera as well as movies, television and radio worldwide. And now writing, which amazingly she only got into five years ago. Stunning. Both stunning people.

 Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Only-One-Woman-Christina-Jones-ebook/dp/B075D88JBP

and Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Only-One-Woman-Christina-Jones-ebook/dp/B075D88JBP

Read more reviews and follow Jane on Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5831801.Jane_Risdon

About Jane Risdon

Jane Risdon began writing five years ago having had a successful career in the International Music Industry which has taken her all over the world working with everything from Rock, Thrash Metal, and R&B/Pop to Chinese Opera. Her work has taken her to North America, Europe, and Singapore: even to Taiwan.

She’s been involved in Television, Radio, and the Movies around the world.

Travelling extensively and living overseas she draws upon her life experiences when writing Crime/Mystery novels, short stories in all genres – including humour, and she has dabbled in flash fiction.

Some of these experiences have found their way into her short stories about the Music Business, and she is presently working on a novel which will bring a lot of her more crazy ‘rock ‘n roll’ experiences into one tome.

Her main focus remains crime however, and she is working on a series of novels called ‘Ms Birdsong Investigates’ centered around a glamorous ex MI5 Officer forced into early retirement, who is trying to keep a low profile in a rural village in Oxfordshire. Her past experiences come to the fore when she finds herself investigating murder. Soon she finds herself back on old territory with Russian Mafia, Ukrainian People Traffickers and an old flame to deal with.

Connect to Jane Risdon

Blog:  https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/ 
Facebook: http://wp.me/2dg55 http://www.facebook.com/JaneRisdon2 
Accent Press: http://www.accentpress.co.uk/jane-risdon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jane_Risdon

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope you have enjoyed this step back in time with Jane to the Elizabethan era..thanks Sally.