Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Sherlock Holmes and the Stars at night and Ginger…

Time for some lighthearted fun…

Sherlock Holmes and the Stars at Night.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.”

But what does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Travel in Transylvania

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer.

Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn.

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, “Get the hell off our car!”

and last but not least…….

There are a number of videos of dogs eating with their hands but none as classy as Ginger!


Thank you for dropping in today and please feel free to pass the smiles along. Thanks Sally


Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Laughter Lines – Shaggy Dog Stories from around the world.

This was one of the most popular laughter academies of a year ago and I thought that I would add to the blog sitting list for my final day away.

From Australia

Whenever two drovers get together, there is the inevitable argument about who has the best kelpie sheep dog. So the merits of their respective dogs was the subject of the debate at the bar.

‘My dog’s so smart,’ said one, ‘ I can give him five instructions at the same time and he will carry them out to perfection.

‘That’s nothing,’ said his mate. ‘I only have to whistle and point and Bluey anticipates the whole exercise.

Finally they decided to put their dogs to the test. The first drover whistled his dog and told him to dash to the saleyards, select the oldest ram, bring him back into town and load it into the ute which was parked outside the pub.

The dog sped off in a cloud of dust and ten minutes later was seen bringing a large ram down the main street. He jumped into the ute, dropped the tail gate and hunted the ram in.

‘Well that’s not bad,’ conceded the second drover. ‘ But watch this.’

‘Bluey, what about some tucker?’

In a cloud of dust Bluey streaked down the main street to a farm five kilometres from town. The dog raced into the chook house, nudged a hen off the nest and gently picked up an egg.

The dog then sped back to town and gently placed the egg at his master’s feet. But without waiting for a pat on the head, the dog gathered a few sticks and lit a fire, grabbed a billy in his teeth and dashed to the creek. Returned and set the billy on the fire and gently dropped the egg into the simmering water.

After exactly three minutes, Bluey rolled the billy off the fire, laid the boiled egg at his master’s feet and stood on his head.

‘Well that beats all,’ conceded the first drover, ‘but why is he standing on his head?’

‘Well he knows I haven’t got an egg cup,’ said the proud owner.


From Ireland

An Irishman Patrick Flanagan was walking his Irish Setter in the countryside. He picked up a stick and threw it, the dog went and retrieved it and brought it back.

Patrick then threw it in a different direction and the dog once again went and retrieved it and brought it back. Patrick then threw it in another direction and it landed in a small lake. The dog went down to the water’s edge, walked across the water, picked up the stick and brought it back.

Well, Patrick was astounded. He couldn’t believe what he had seen and threw stick in the lake again, and the dog once again walked across the water to bring the stick back. As he went into town, he promised that he would show his dog’s wonderful new trick to the first person he came across.

Once in town the first person the dog owner came across was the town drunk Declan Dunphy. Patrick dragged Declan to the lake to show him what his dog could do. Once again, the dog owner threw the stick into the small lake and the dog went to the water’s edge, walked across the water, picked up the stick and brought it back to it’s owner.

Once the Irish drunk saw that, he turned to Patrick and said; “Why that’s great, mister! But when are you going to teach your dog how to swim?”

From France (and various other countries with various makes and models of dog.. )

A wealthy French lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged Poodle along for the company

One day the Poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Poodle thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doodoo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old Poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

“Whew!” says the leopard, “That was close! That old Poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection. So off he goes, but the old Poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old Poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet,

Just when they get close enough to hear, the old Poodle says: “Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

I hope you enjoyed the repeat and feel free to share the laughter. thanks Sally


Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Chinese dinner, auctions and Chewing Gum.


Menu Options

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise”. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

Good grief, did you see that?” she asks her husband.

He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,and demands an explanation.

“Please sir,” says the waiter, “what you order?” The husband replies, “Chicken Surprise.”

“Ah… so sorry,” says the waiter, “I bring you Peeking Duck.”


One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”

“Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

Here is that ostrich….

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

“That will be $9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

“The usual?” asks the waitress.

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad, says he man

“Same,” says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress… “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

I hope you have enjoyed today’s selection and if it made you smile… it might make someone else too…pass it on… thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Presents for teacher, Mums and Dads, All the fun of the Fair

As the children break up for the  holidays something for the teacher!

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some chocolates!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held up the box and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

“What is it?” she said.

“A puppy!”

Something for mums..

A mother took her three-year old son to a psychiatrist and explained that she was worried that he was becoming too precocious. ‘Right,’ said the psychiatrist, ‘we’ll try a few simple tests.’ Turning to the little boy , he said, ‘just say a few words – anything that comes into your mind.’

The boy turned to his mother and said, ‘Does he want logically constructed sentences or just random and purely isolated words?’

Something for dads

A police officer finds a small boy who has become separated from his father in the middle of a football crowd. “What’s your dad like?” the policeman asks in a kind voice. “Beer and women,” the boy replies.

Something for the rest of us of mixed origins.

An Englishman, a Frenchman (they get everywhere) and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.

‘My son was born on St George’s Day, ‘remarked the Englishman, ‘So we obviously decided to call him George.’

‘That’s a real coincidence’, observed the Frenchman’, My daughter was born on Valentine’s Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.’

‘That’s really incredible’, drawled the Irishman, ‘Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.’

All the fun of the fair.

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old witch steps in front of them.

‘This is a magic ride,’ she says. ‘You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down.’

‘I’m game for this,’ says Dai, the Welshman, and slides down the helter-skelter shouting ‘GOLD!’ at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.

William, the Englishman, goes next and shouts ‘SILVER!’ at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.

Patrick, the Irishman, goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts ‘WEEEEEEE!’

Size Matters!

The Englishman and the Scotsman were boasting about the size of their estates.

‘I can get into my car at seven o’clock in The morning,’ said the Englishman, ‘and drive and drive all around my estate and not get back until four o’clock in the afternoon.’

‘I can get into my car at six o’clock in the morning,’ said the Scotsman, ‘and drive and drive all around my estate and not get back until seven o’clock in the evening.’

‘I had an old car like that too myself once,’ said the Irishman.

I hope you have enjoyed the humour… if so please pass it along and make someone else smile. Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Laughter Lines – New Careers, Zoo visits and One Liners.

Welcome to Thursday’s laughter lines and I hope these stories will bring sunshine to your day.

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Not wanting to waste his skill and dexterity he decided to retrain as a mechanic.

He signed up for classes a the local technical college and discovered he had a real flair for the detailed work involved. He applied himself diligently and as the final exams approached he practiced night and day.

As the results of the exams were posted, he was amazed to see that he had been awarded 150% and thought there might have been an error. He sought out his instructor to ask him why.

His teacher explained that he had taken the engine apart perfectly and that was worth 50%.. he had also put it back together perfectly which was another 50%.

He paused for a moment. ” I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler. Which I have never seen done in my entire career.

A police officer stops a motorist and is startled to find he has a dozen penguins on the back seat.

‘You shouldn’t be driving around with penguins like that,’ he tells the man.

‘Take them to the zoo.’

The man tells the policeman that he will do go and do that immediately and drives off.

The next day, however, the policeman stops the same motorist and is annoyed to find that there is still a dozen penguins on the back seat.

‘I thought you said you would take these birds to the zoo yesterday as I ordered you to.’

The man nods his head. ‘I did. And today I am taking them to the movies.’

Some one liners…

  • Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.
  • Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.
  • I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  • A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ”Pint please, and one for the road.”
  • I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite.
  • My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
  • I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.
  • I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
  • A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ”I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”
  • Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.
  • A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ”Is this some kind of joke?”
  • A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ”Sorry we don’t serve food in here”

I hope that you have enjoyed these funnies and please feel free to pass them on.. thanks Sally

Smorgasbord blog Magazine – Laughter Lines – 15 year olds on Life!! – What could go Wrong?

These are reported to have been taken from recent GCSE essays when 15 year old boys and girls were allowed to play with all the words and grammar in their newly acquired toolboxes. With hilarious and wonderful results..

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly like a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

The thunder was ominous sounding much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during a storm scene in a play.

Even in his last years Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil, but unlike Phil this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get for not eating for a while.

Oh, Jason, take me! She panted, her breasts heaving like a student on a pound a pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined , like someone who can tell butter from “ I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter “.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love . When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature British Beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.


I hope that these laughter lines have deepened your crow’s feet!  Feel free to pass them on. Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Dogs under the dining room table!

A young man fell desperately in love with a very well to do young lady. The day came when it was time to meet the parents and the young man was astounded to see the massive country house that his beloved had been brought up in. He was petrified enough to meet her parents and also knew that his girlfriend expected him to ask her father for her hand in marriage.

His fears were realised when he met the colonel… Dressed to go hunting and waspish. Eventually, the family sat around the large table in the dining room and the butler and the footman served Sunday Lunch.

There were many assorted vegetables and to be fair most were unknown to the now very nervous suitor. He ate everything that he was given and on top of the butterflies in his stomach wind began to gather in his nether regions.

Despite his best efforts there was an escape of said wind and the colonel looked up from his lunch and gave a suspicious look under the table.

‘Rover, get out from under the table you damn dog!’

Highly relieved that there was a hapless dog to be blamed for his indiscretion, the young man, gratefully released one or two more cauliflower induced bouquets.

Each time the fierce patriarch would look under the table and began shouting at the dog…

‘Rover, get out from under the table… I will not tell you again.

After one final expulsion of air and just as the young man had screwed up his courage to ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage. The colonel bent down from his chair and shouted down the underside of the long table.

‘Rover, for goodness sake get out from under the table before he gasses you!.

funny-how-i-feel-when-cops-are-driving-behind-me-011A rich man was accosted by a disreputable looking bloke who asked for some money for a meal.

‘Here, have a cigarette,’ said the businessman.

‘No, I don’t smoke,’ replied the tramp.

‘Then let me buy you a drink.’

‘No, I don’t drink.’

‘Then let me change your luck and buy you a lottery ticket.’

‘No thank you, I never gamble. Couldn’t you spare some money for a decent meal?’

The businessman looked at him. ‘I can do better than that,’ he said. ‘You come home with me and I’ll cook you the biggest meal you ever saw.’

‘Wouldn’t it be easier if you just gave me the money?’

‘Easier, yes,’ said the rich man, ‘but I want to show my wife what happens to a man who doesn’t drink, smoke or gamble.’


The woman walked into the butchers and selected a chicken. She prodded and poked it. Lifted one wing and sniffed beneath it. Lifted the other wing and did the same thing. Finally she looked at the chicken’s rear end and gave it another sniff.

‘This chicken is not fresh,’ she declared.

‘Lady,’ said the shopkeeper, ‘do you think you could pass the same test?’

grumpy old woman

Chasing Cars

An old fella was chasing the local girls and one of the nosey neighbours took it upon herself to tell his wife.

‘It doesn’t worry me,’ said the wife. ‘He can chase girls all he wants to. After all dogs chase cars. I’ve never seen a dog catch one and I doubt if they could drive one if they did’.

dog at fence

Feel free to spread the smiles around the usual haunts.. thanks for dropping by.. Sally


Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Parrots, Hamsters and Polo Mints.

What’s in a name?
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:

“Jesus is watching you.”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

“Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

“Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?” he asked.

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”

“Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”

“The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus,” the parrot replied.


Opera for peanuts
A man went into a bar and said to the bartender, “If you give me free drinks all night, I will entertain your customers so much they will stay all night and drink lots and lots.”

“Oh yes,” says the bartender. “How are you going to do that?” The man gets a hamster out of his pocket and puts it on the piano. The hamster runs up and down the keyboard playing the greatest piano music anyone had ever heard.

“That’s incredible!” says the bartender. “Have you got anything else?”

The man gets a parrot out of his other pocket and puts it on the bar. The hamster begins to play the piano again and the parrot sings along – sounding just like Pavarotti. Everyone in the bar is amazed and stayed all night drinking and listening to the hamster and parrot.

The bartender is delighted.“I must have these animals. Will you sell them to me?” he asks.

The man shook his head no. “Will you sell just one then?” asks the bartender.

“OK, I’ll sell you the parrot for $100” the man says.

The bartender is delighted and hands over the money.

Another man standing next to the man who owned the hamster said, “You’re a bit stupid selling that clever parrot for only $100”. “No I’m not,” the man replied. “The hamster is a ventriloquist”!!!


In court
A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot
when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,
too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted,
he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes,
I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counsellors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
“If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for

10858001_10152908615806740_9051095730437155016_nMile High Club
The aircraft was on its final approach and after making his announcement to the passengers, the captain forgot to switch off the PA system.

‘As soon as we land I am going to have a cold beer and then make passionate love to that red-headed flight attendant.’

The flight attendant in question was shocked and began a hurried dash to the cockpit before anything else incriminating was revealed.

She was in such a hurry that she tripped over a suitcase sticking out into the aisle and fell in a heap. A little old lady leant over to her. ‘No need to rush dear,’ she said, ‘he said he was going to have a cold beer first.’


Never underestimate the power of polo mints.
The trainer was giving last minute instructions to the jockey and appeared to slip something in the horse’s mouth just as a steward passed by.

‘What was that?’ inquired the steward.

‘Oh, nothing,’ said the trainer, ‘just a polo mint.’ He offered one to the steward. ‘Here, have one. And I’ll have one myself.’

After the suspicious steward had left the scene the trainer continued with his riding instructions. ‘Just keep the horse on the rails. You are on a certainty. The only thing that could possibly pass you down the straight is either the steward or me.’


 I am offline for a couple of days but please leave your comments for my return.. Please feel free to spread the smiles around.  Sally


Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Rewind – Elderly logic, dating, pack behaviour and squirrels…from Tina Frisco

As I spend a little time offline getting ready for the first of my Christmas book fairs I thought I would reshare this post from earlier in the year when Tina Frisco stepped in with some more of her classic laughs for your benefit…More about Tina after the post.

I have also raided the archives and found some images that you might enjoy…

Dog Pack Attacks Gator in Florida

At times, nature can be cruel. But there also is a raw beauty, and even a certain justice, manifested within that cruelty. The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators – normally considered the ‘apex predator’ – can fall victim to the canine’s survival-of-the-pack mentality, evidenced by the strategical team work of their tight-knit social structure.

See the remarkable photograph below, courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator, preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing, and a third dog attacks the soft underbelly.

This is not for the squeamish!

Touching Story of an Old Woman

This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after a school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. One of the women had received a new radio as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Kean Elementary:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family have passed away. I am all alone now, and it’s nice to know someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day, her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful, and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me, and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.



Squirrels vs Churches

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and knew instinctively how to swim. Twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. They humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later, the squirrels returned when the Baptists took down their water slide.

The Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They circumcised the first squirrel and haven’t seen one since.

Dating Ads for Seniors, found in The Villages,
the Newspaper of a Florida Senior Retirement Community

Fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. —————————————————-

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem. —————————————————-

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.


A lady and gentleman in The Villages are sitting on benches opposite each other.

Lady: Are you new to the community?

Gentleman: No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years.

Lady: I have been here for 15 years, and I have never seen you around.

Gentleman: I have been in prison for the last 17 years!

She was stunned but finally asked him what he had done.

Gentleman: I murdered my first wife!

She was stunned again, but after a long pause . . .

Lady: So, you’re SINGLE?

About Tina Frisco

Tina Frisco is an author, singer-songwriter, RN, activist, and student of shamanism. Born in Pennsylvania USA, she attended nursing school in New York and lives in California. She began writing as a young child and received her first guitar at age 14, which launched her passion for music and songwriting. She has performed publicly in many different venues. Her publishing history includes book reviews; essays; articles in the field of medicine; her début novel, PLATEAU; her children’s book, GABBY AND THE QUADS; and her latest novel, VAMPYRIE. She enjoys writing, reading, music, dancing, arts and crafts, exploring nature, and frequently getting lost in working crossword puzzles.

One of the recent reviews for Plateau

Spiritually Moving and Uplifting on September 14, 2017

FIRST I must say that I loved this gentle little book. I devoured it in a single evening, so entranced by the story that I didn’t want to stop to read the inspiring quotes from Lynn V. Andrew’s Power Deck that began each chapter. Once I reached the end of the book I had to go back for the quotes, skimming each following chapter a second time.

NOW I must say that I have struggled with how I could possibly write a review — I’ve never read another book quite like it.

Other reviewers here have given you as much as you need to become familiar with the book’s “environment” – if I can call it that, introducing you to a few of the characters – so I won’t repeat similar content. But they can’t convey the deeply spiritual, uplifting essence of the book that, to me, is what makes it remarkable. Plateau never pontificates, but rather seduces the reader to come to his or her own spiritual realizations as the story unfolds.

I suppose the most impactful thing I can say is that I was infused with a sense of well-being when I finally put down my Kindle and turned off the light. I was in such a calm and totally relaxed positive state of mind that I transitioned easily and almost immediately into a deep sleep – a rare experience in my life.

Read all the reviews and buy the books:

And on Amazon UK:

Read more reviews and follow Tina on Goodreads:

Here is how you can connect to Tina on her website and social media.

Website ~
Amazon ~
Facebook ~
Twitter ~
LinkedIn ~
Google+ ~
Goodreads ~

Please feel free to share the smiles.. and thanks to Tina for her support and sense of humour.. thanks Sally


Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Dog Language and other canine behaviours.

It is Friday and time to let our hair down with a few visual aids.  Whilst the first one is cute, it is actually quite an important infographic that identifies your dogs body language..

And then there is this.



And completely unrelated because it made me laugh..

Have a great weekend…. don’t do anything that I wouldn’t.. Sally.