Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives.


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now something from my archives..

Marriage made in heaven.

On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’” and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited.

Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven?

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”

“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.

“OH, COME ON!,” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face….thanks Debby and Sally.

 

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Images to make you smile – That certain look


The secret to a long marriage… Give and Take.

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.

The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”

I hope you have enjoyed today’s selection and please feel free to share.. thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Men vs. Women in the happiness stakes and Marriage.


WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED

Men are just happier people, right? What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Is it any wonder men are happier!

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.·If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Of course this is all meant in good fun……. if you enjoyed please pass it along.. thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Trouble in Paradise and other marital jokes!


By the time you read this I will be off on my girl’s trip with my sisters…. I leave you in charge of the comments and will pop in over the next couple of days to check on things..

The trouble all started in the Garden of Eden

One beautiful afternoon in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals. I appreciate all that you have given me, but I’m just not happy”, Adam answers.

“Why is that, Adam”, God asks.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I have no one special to share it with and I’m lonely”, Adam explained to God.

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you”, God told him.

Perplexed, Adam asked, “What’s a woman, Lord?”

God replies, “This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.. She will cook and clean for you and do everything that you ask without ever complaining. She will provide every sexual need and fantasy you will ever think of and meet all of your sexual needs. She will bear your children and raise them without complaints. This woman will be the perfect companion for you.”

“Wow! That sounds great,” exclaimed Adam. “Where is she?”

“Not so fast,” said the Lord. “A woman this fantastic is going to cost you.”

“How much”, asked Adam.

“An arm and leg”, God replied.

Adam thought about this for a moment, then replied, “What can I get for a rib?”

world-roundOne for the girls

This chain Facebook post was started by a woman in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women.

Unlike a chain letter, it will not cost you anything. Just forward to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband, partner or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list.

When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men. One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you have already.

DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN

One woman who broke the chain got her original husband back…..

At the time of posting this, a friend of mine had already received 454 men. They buried her yesterday. It took three undertakers to get the smile off her face and two days to position her body so that they could close the coffin..

You must have faith!

keith-harkin-list-of-argument-winners

How to control your wife!

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and said, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'”

10300103_10152463207972349_2409605824490297349_nThis might be one of the husbands due for recycling….

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…

Dear Mrs. Harris, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.

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A laugh a day keeps the doctor away… keep smiling and pass it on.. Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Navy, Marines and Hypnotised Seniors – Oops.


Some of the favourite jokes from early 2016 revisited.

A sailor, an airman, several marines, a genie and a hypnotist walked into a blog!

Overseas posting

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

“My love,” he wrote, “we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we’re constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted? ”

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, “Why don’t you learn to play this?”

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. “Darling” he said, “I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!”

She kissed him and said, “First let’s see you play that harmonica.”

Tell it to the Marines.

An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a MARINE joke?”

The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, weighs 225, and he’s a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6’5″ tall, weighs 250, and he’s also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”

The Airman says, “Nah, I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”

Many a word spoken in jest!Killer Food

A   nutritionist was addressing a large audience. “The food that we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

“Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake”

Second Opinion should always be sought.

Judy rushed in to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with me, Doctor?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of moments, and then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”

 

When faced with a Genie.. think before opening mouth!

A fellow was cleaning out his attic one morning when he came across an old brass lamp. He gave it a rub and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke.

‘I am the genie of the lamp,’ said the apparition. ‘For releasing me, I will answer any three questions you care to ask.’

‘Who? Me?’ said the young man.

‘Yes, You,’ replied the genie. ‘Now, what’s your third question?’

A quick way to tell your age

‘How old are you Grandma?’ asked little Rebecca.

‘Oh, I don’t know dear,’ said Grandma with a smile. ‘I’ve had so many birthdays, I’ve lost count!’

‘Well, why don’t you look in your knickers,’ said Rebecca. ‘Mine say three to four years old.’

And now that I have you mesmerised!!

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens’ centre.

After the community sing-song led by Alice at the piano, It was time for the Star of the Show – Claude the Hypnotist.

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

“Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time.” said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

“I want you to keep your eyes on this watch” said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

“It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations” Said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting “Watch the watch — Watch the watch —-Watch the watch”

The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke.

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact

“S**T” said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens’ Centre

And Claude was never invited to entertain again.

The discerning cat.

I hope that has left you with a smile on your face.. Thanks for stopping by.. Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Rewind – Eye Tests, Bake sales and Kissing Nuns.


 

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

“Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies’ group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp.

But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, “Oh dear, there’s no time to bake another cake.”

This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.

Alice found it in the bathroom — a roll of toilet paper & newspaper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect!

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom. Alice was horrified. She couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong. Alice was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? “Oh, my,” she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attended the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP ‘d she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South. Then, to Alice’s horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert.

Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake. She started out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor’s wife said, “What a beautiful cake!”

Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, “Thank you, I baked it myself.”

Alice smiled and thought to herself, “GOD is good.”

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you Know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that whispered sweet nothings in my ear and dragged me into the back room of the bar?”

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counsellor.

The counsellor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counsellor then turns to the husband and says, “Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?”

 

 

A taxi driver picked up a nun. She noticed him watching in the rearview mirror after she got into the back seat. “Is something bothering you, my son?”

“I’m sorry, Sister. I’d rather not say.”

“Go on. I may be a nun, but I’ve heard a lot of things in my time.”

“I’ve had this fantasy, Sister, my whole life, of kissing a nun.”

“That’s alright, son. I can oblige, but I have two conditions. You must be Catholic and unmarried.

“I’m both of those, Sister.”

“Pull in there son.” She pointed to an alley.

Ten minutes later, they came out. The nun noticed the driver crying. “What is it, my son?”

“I lied, sister. I’m not Catholic; I’m Jewish and I’m married.”

“That’s alright, my son. I’m Kevin, and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

Hope you enjoyed the smiles… please pass them on. Sally

Smorgasbord Time for Some Laffs – Marriage, Smith and Wesson and Granny and the Christmas Cake


Tina Frisco has kindly contributed today’s laffs and they are up to her usual standard.. More about Tina and her books a little later.. I do recommend you check them out.

Any Questions?

Ain’t nothin’ finer than the protection offered by Smith & Wesson!

When my friend goes to her ATM or anywhere else alone, she always takes along her Smith & Wesson. She has never had a problem with muggers, rapists, wise guys, street punks ~ or attorneys!

Smith is on the left!

I am assured that no chickens were harmed in this post and that in time honoured tradition with photographs of chicks in the news there was a considerable amount of photo shopping.

Thanks to Tina for sending these across ….she is a star.

To finish off I thought I would share a story from April and June from Devon who are avid cooks.. They are a fabulous pair and here they share the story of Granny who came for Christmas.

 

About Tina Frisco

Tina Frisco is an author, singer-songwriter, RN, activist, and student of shamanism. Born in Pennsylvania USA, she attended nursing school in New York and lives in California. She began writing as a young child and received her first guitar at age 14, which launched her passion for music and songwriting. She has performed publicly in many different venues. Her publishing history includes book reviews; essays; articles in the field of medicine; her début novel, PLATEAU; her children’s book, GABBY AND THE QUADS; and her latest novel, VAMPYRIE. She enjoys writing, reading, music, dancing, arts and crafts, exploring nature, and frequently getting lost in working crossword puzzles.

Find out more about Tina Frisco, her books and read the reviews: https://www.amazon.com/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY

Here is how you can connect to Tina on her website and social media.

Website ~ http://tinafrisco.com
Amazon ~ http://hyperurl.co/3vme2a
Facebook ~ https://www.facebook.com/TinaFrisco.Author
Twitter ~ http://bit.ly/14VXY49
LinkedIn ~ http://linkd.in/1aAGwXl
Google+ ~ http://bit.ly/1Fc1Uzn
Goodreads ~ http://bit.ly/165vmVp

Thank you to Tina for her wonderful laffs and to you for dropping in and please feel free to share the smiles. Sally

Laughter the best medicine – For Better or for Worse!


I am busy helping out in the garden this week so I have dug up these to keep you amused!

An old man whose wife had recently passed away decided to place an obituary
in the local paper. He went to see the editor and was told it would cost £1 a word.
After turning out the contents of his pocket, the old man found £3 in loose change.
He wrote: “Doris Smith Dead”.

Seeing this, the editor felt so sorry for him he said; “For £3 you can have seven
words.” The old man thanked him and thought for a while.

Then he wrote: “Doris Smith Dead. Ford Focus for Sale”.

sleepOn the first night of their 
honeymoon, the husband isn’t sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she’s been able to cover up. After some soul-searching, the husband gathers his nerve and says, “I have a confession.”

She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, “Darling, so do I.”
Recoiling, he says, “Don’t tell me—you’ve eaten my socks.”

indexA guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the damn ball!” The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” says his partner. “You’ll never hit her from here.”

invalid chairsJacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemists. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”

The chemist answers, “Yes.”

Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Chemist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Chemist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer’s?”

Chemist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”

Chemist: “Absolutely..”

Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”

Chemist: “We sure do.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”

Chemist: “All speeds and sizes.”

Jacob: “In that case, we’d like to use this store for our wedding presents list.”

bar menuA very wealthy but miserly businessman died in an accident and when the lawyer read out the will his wife was astonished to discover that he insisted on all his money being buried with him.

On the day of the funeral as the family and friends gathered to pay their respects one of the wife’s friends stood with her arm about her.

“I understand that he wanted to be buried with all his money, how did you get it all in the coffin with him?”

The wife smiled sweetly.. “I gave him a cheque”

And last but not least….

Two men are discussing what their wives think about them. The first man says. ‘My wife thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house.’

The second man says. ‘That’s nothing, My wife thinks I’m a God.’

‘She thinks your a god?’ replies the first man.’ What makes you say that?’

‘It’s obvious. Every night when I get home she places a burnt offering in front of me!’

Enjoy the weekend and hope you will pop in from time to time. Thanks Sally