Smorgasbord Christmas Posts from Your Archives – Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap by Judy E. Martin


Delighted to share a post from the archive of Judy E. Martin which is perfect for Christmas Eve…as is her chosen track.. by Boney M… Mary’s Boy Child..

Judy E Martin

Stephanie from ‘Once Upon your Prime ‘ did a fantastic spoof on ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ which you can read HERE. I was so impressed with her version, and I wanted to have a go at this myself.

Every year I have to read it every night in December to my daughter. we take it in turns to read a verse out each, and we both love it. I have not gone with a theme as Stephanie has, just given it a bit of jiggery-pokery here and there to give my take on it!! Hope you enjoy…

Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap by Judy Martin

‘Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap

The turkey still thawing, no time for a nap!

The stocking was dragged out from last year

We’re hoping and praying St Nick will appear!

Miss Hap was all nestled snugly in bed

With iPhones and Converses going around in her head

Mr Grump, me and Roxy at last went to bed

To get ourselves rested for the big day ahead!

When out on the square there arose such a row

I awoke to see what was happening now!

I looked out the window and saw a large crowd

“Bugger off home!”. I shouted out loud.

The moon was hidden by a cloudy grey sky

But I thought I saw something out the corner of me eye.

Eight lively reindeer so happy and bright

Were guiding a sleigh through the darkness of night.

With a little old driver so chubby and cute

Who appeared to be wearing a red and white suit!

His reindeer were racing enjoying the game

He wanted attention so called them by name.

Now Dasher, now Dancer now Prancer and Vixen

On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen

Head for the roof! Head for the trees!

Now hurry up, hurry up, hurry up please!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly

Are swirling around in the wintery sky

This little old man with his sleigh full of toys

Was ready to reward the good girls and boys.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The clanking and banging of their bloody great hooves!

The next thing I knew, I heard a loud ‘BOOM’

And St Nicholas had landed in my front room!

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his toes

And I couldn’t help smiling at his odd-looking clothes

He had a large sack that was filled to the top

He looked like a man who had just robbed a shop!

His eyes how they twinkled in spite of his years

His nose was all rosy – and so were his ears!

His mouth was formed into a huge cheesy grin

He appeared as if he’d been hitting the gin!

The butt off a cig was clenched in his lips

And his belt was a little sung round his hips.

The size of his tummy was really quite shocking

And it swayed side to side as if it were rocking!

He was jolly and plump a right happy old thing

And I was excited to see what gift he would bring

He looked at his sack and gave me a smile

And added a parcel to Miss Hap’s huge pile!

He spoke not a word but kept filling her stocking

Then gave me a look that was kind of mocking

And then in an instant he was no longer there

He appeared to have vanished into the night air.

He sprang to his sleigh as night became dawn

And then he was off. It was now Christmas Morn

But I heard him call out as he opened a beer

“Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!”

If  you would like to hear Judy perform the poem..

Judy has chosen Boney M as her Christmas music… and a huge thank you for her contribution.

©Judy E. Martin 2014

About Judy E. Martin

Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy,in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just gone back to University to train as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, ‘Rhymes of the Times.’ I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series too. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.

Rhymes of the Times by Judy E. Martin.

51-j7dbq17l-_uy250_About the collection

Are you one of those people that barge through life, trying to get through it as best as you can, swimming against the everyday worries and stresses of life? Well, I have found a way to make it much more enjoyable.

Don’t you think everything sounds better when it rhymes? I certainly do. In fact, I have found that everything from doing the housework to growing older, can sound more positive and less daunting when made into a little ditty.

This book is about finding the humour, or raising a smile from the everyday things that we can all relate to in life, and looking at them from a different perspective. Nothing escapes versification; there is even a subject on sex! After all, that is one subject where there is plenty of room for laughter, even if it may not be the right moment!

One of the recent reviews for the collection

A most amusing read on October 14, 2017

I love Judy E Martin’s poetry. It is so enjoyable and humorous. Judy has a delightful way of turning everyday situations into a real laugh. Her book of poetry is divided into ten chapters, as follows: Family, Festive, Seasons, Women, Ages, Music, Food, Creativity, Miscellaneous and Sex. This book fairly pulses with vitality and enthusiasm for life and I really look forward to reading a few of her uplifting verses at the end of a hard working day.

One of my absolute favourite poems is Ode to Cadbury’s and my favourite verse is as follows:

“They have moved across the water
To give their sales a Boost
But the chocolate’s taste is different
And the bar size is reduced.”

What absolute fun!

Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Judy-E-Martin/e/B01CPOB0M0

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Rhymes-Times-lighthearted-through-Rhythm-ebook/dp/B01CLXLPMU

Read reviews and follow Judy on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15085538.Judy_E_Martin

Connect to Judy

Website/blog: https://www.judyedwinamartin.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JudyEMartin
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JudyEMartinAuthorandRhymester

A very Happy Christmas from both of us..

 

 

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Poetry Reading and Interview – Judy E. Martin


Sally's Cafe and Bookstore

Delighted to welcome Judy E. Martin to the Cafe today for her poetry reading and interview. It has been a bitter sweet week for Judy as she has left her community nursing teams behind as she begins her three year nursing university course. Very exciting and all of us in her other community of writers wish her every success.

Time to introduce Judy to those of you who might not have met her before. From my experience Judy spreads light and sunshine with her witty and very funny Poetry and then draws you in with some pathos that makes you relate to issues in your own life. As you will see her heroines had the same ability and we all hope that despite this new and important project ahead, she will still have time to entertain us.

Don’t forget that this is an interactive interview and Judy would love to have your questions about her work and new venture.. Please leave in the comments.. thanks.

The official version

Judy E Martin is in her (very) early fifties and has just entered a new phase in her life. She has recently worked as an Associate Practitioner (Nursing) in the both hospital and community settings and loves it, finally finding her niche. She has just started on a new adventure as a ‘mature student’ deciding to take that final step and study for her Nursing Degree.

She has in the past, done everything from serving as a soldier in the Women’s Royal Army Corps, to helping manage a kebab shop!

Judy has been writing humorous poems since she was a little girl. She has always had a love of words and finds expressing herself through rhyme is so appealing. She enjoys the rhythm of the words as they dance to her tune.

She draws her inspiration from everyday events that most of us can relate to and puts her unique spin on it. Her large family is often her inspiration, as is the weather, the seasons, housework, even sex. No subject is safe from manipulation into verse!

Judy lives in the beautiful county of Kent with her long-suffering husband Bob, (Mr Grump), daughter Lucinda (Miss Hap), and not forgetting Roxy, the beautiful Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, all of whom have found their way into her poems.

About Rhymes of the Times

Are you one of those people that barge through life, trying to get through it as best as you can, swimming against the everyday worries and stresses of life? Well, I have found a way to make it much more enjoyable. Don’t you think everything sounds better when it rhymes? I certainly do. In fact, I have found that everything from doing the housework to growing older, can sound more positive and less daunting when made into a little ditty. This book is about finding the humour, or raising a smile from the everyday things that we can all relate to in life, and looking at them from a different perspective. Nothing escapes versification; there is even a subject on sex! After all, that is one subject where there is plenty of room for laughter, even if it may not be the right moment!

One of the reviews for the collection which sums up the tone of the book very well.

If you love rhyming poetry, and a bloody good laugh, this book is for you. Short at just 61 pages, you could get through it during a cuppa and I promise you will laugh the whole way through. Martin is a master at rhyme, and also with twists, there were a few poems with unexpected endings, one particular line caught my eye for its clever analogy:

“Then autumn comes a-calling
And it starts a slow striptease”

GENIUS!

The book has a variety of themed sections, my favourite being the women’s section which had some outrageous and utterly brilliant poems. My other fave was called Sexting, which made me spit my cuppa everywhere!  Brilliant, a must read for any poetry fan.

Read all the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01CLXLPMU

Time to meet Judy in person and enjoy her poetry reading.

Thanks so much Sally for having me over to be interviewed for your ‘Book reading at the Café’ feature. I feel very privileged to be a part of this new and exciting venture.

Firstly, here is a poem from my book that I wrote on reaching the milestone of being 50 years old.

Today is the day I turn fifty
And I am not going to get all depressed
There are plenty of things to look forward to
And these are the ones I like best!
You are handy to have in a pub quiz
You know all the old movies and songs
Your trivia knowledge is awesome
Because you’ve been around for so long!
You are allowed to be quite eccentric
Nobody minds if you’re odd
They just think you are a bit quirky
Or perhaps just a silly old sod!
You don’t have to always look glamorous
Because nobody looks anymore
You don’t have to spend hours getting ready
Before you can step out the door.
So although I’ve reach that half century
I’ve see no need to be sad
For I still feel life is for living
And there’s lots more fun to be had!

I have selected the following questions to answer to give you more of an insight about who inspires me, and why I enjoy writing poetry.

If you are a poet, please tell us about others who have inspired you to write and give an example of their work.

Both of my biggest influences are from my childhood. Growing up in the 1970s, there were two women who were utterly outstanding, and every time I saw them on TV I would be riveted by their performance. The whole family would be laughing and that is something that I learned from an early age. Laughter brings everyone together, and it has stayed with me ever since.

The first of these women is Pam Ayres. What I love about her is the silliness of her poetry. She talks about anything and everything, but her delivery in a broad West Country accent brings a whole lot more to the poem. The fact that she often laughs whilst reciting her poems gets me laughing even more!

Here is an example of her work.  Oh I wish I’d looked after my teeth!

The other woman is the late Victoria Wood. This multi-talented woman is a comic, actress, poet and writer amongst many other things. I could name numerous things that she has done that I admire, but one of my favourites has to be this song. Whenever I hear it, I laugh from start to finish. Victoria also has the knack of making fun out of anything no matter what the subject.

What appeals to you about writing short stories?

I am not a very good storyteller in the conventional sense as I lack the imagination to be able to grip a reader in order for them to engage with the story. However, I find that truth is often stranger than fiction, and most people like to have a laugh. This is where I can combine my love of rhyme with my sense of the ridiculous, and recount anecdotes or observations in a verse or ditty. These are short and enable the reader to dip in and out of them at will.

I have rabbited on a bit (as usual) so will now move on to answering the personal questions that Sally has asked me.

You were an associate nurse in the community and from your posts clearly enjoyed the role. What gave you the most satisfaction about the job?

There were many rewards associated with my job. One of the things that gave me satisfaction was seeing someone get better. We had a patient whose legs we had been dressing almost daily for the past year. A couple of weeks ago the left leg had finally healed and the right one was almost there. I was part of a wonderful team that worked together to do the very best for our patients.

Your poems take a slice of life and wrap it in humour. How important do you think laughter is to us from a health perspective?

We have all heard of the old saying that laughter is the best medicine, but in my opinion, there is a lot of truth there. Whenever I go to see a patient, I always try to be cheerful and jolly, and if appropriate, make little jokes with them. To see them smile or laugh makes me happy as well, so everyone benefits. It helps to lift their mood, and makes them feel included and valued as well.

We obviously enjoy your poetry on your blog and you no doubt have another collection in the works. Do you have any other writing plans, such as a novel in mind for the future?

I took part in NaNoWriMo(National Novel Writing Month) some time ago, and did actually finish it and write a novelette. It was based on truth so the story rather poured out of me as I remembered it, plus I embellished it a little. I have never done anything like that before so it was very rough and unpolished. I did edit it quite a bit but didn’t really know what I was doing! I had some very useful advice and tips from some very talented authors though, and maybe one day, it might end up published!

I will of course, still be bashing out my poems on a regular basis as they are something that I enjoy doing immensely.

Links to connect with Judy on social media.

Twitter https://twitter.com/Edwinasepisodes
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/judy.martin.35110
Pinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/judym1966/

My thanks to Judy for sharing her work and story and I am sure you join me in wishing her every success in her training to be a qualified nurse.

This is an interactive interview so please leave your questions in the comments section and Judy will answer over the next few days.  Thank you for joining us.  Sally