Time for some Laffs.. or groans.. It is Pun Day


laffs

Puns are the groaners of humour.. try telling a few….Thanks to Mrs T for sending through a great selection to add to the groans.

Who Thinks Up This Stuff?

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I’m reading a book about antigravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro… What a rip off!

Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

On the Medical Front

Statistically…. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.

Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

URINE: opposite of ‘you’re out.’

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass.

He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.

Sporty?

My skiing skills are really going downhill

I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks.

My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve.. He kept returning it

What do say to an impatient Jockey? Hold your horses.

I think there are about 1 to 2 million baseball fields in the world but that is just a ballpark number.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

And to end I am adding these guys because they are stars……

I hope these have raised a few smiles rather than groans.. pass them on and find out who your real friends really are!!!  Thanks for stopping by… Sally