Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – SUVs and Stud Fees

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

 

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Signs, Synchronicity, and Energy   

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Stud Fees

Farmer Dan got into his car, drove to the neighbouring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy, Eddie, aged about 10, opened the door.

‘Is yer Dad home?’ Dan demanded.

‘No, sir, he ain’t,’ Eddie replied. ‘He went into town.’

‘Well, then,’ inquired Dan, ‘is yer Mum here?’

‘No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went into town with Dad.’

‘How about your brother? Is he here?’

‘He went with Mum and Dad,’ explained Eddie patiently.

Farmer Dan stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.

‘Is there anything I can do for ya?’ Eddie asked politely. ‘I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad.’

‘Well, it’s difficult,’ answered Dan uncomfortably, ‘I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.’

Eddie considered for a moment, ‘You would have to talk to Pa about that,’ he finally conceded. ‘If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges £600 for the bull and £60 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.’

 We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Aged Cheese and Anagrams

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Soul Mates and Life Partners

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

Now something to ponder from my archives.. some interesting Anagrams

Dormitory – Dirty Room

Desperation – A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code – Here Come Dots

Slot Machines – Cash Lost in ’em

Animosity – Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms – Alas! No More Z’s

Alec Guinness – Genuine Class

Semolina – Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries – Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point – I’m a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes – That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one

Contradiction – Accord not in it

And a real corker:(From Hamlet by Shakespeare)

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

 

 We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

Smorgasbord Funnies 2023 – Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Petty Theft and paraprosdokians

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

 

My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s latest post in her series Spiritual Awareness. Soul Mates and Life Partners

Now something from Sally’s Joke book archives….

This was sent to me by my sister Diana….

A paraprosdokian is a sentence or statement with an unexpected ending. It means “against expectations” in Greek.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but couldn’t find any

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? I don’t know and I don’t care.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

Need an ark? I Noah guy.

You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero. Thanks for nothing!

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”

 We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.