Welcome to laughter lines with some gems from Debby Gies who has been keeping an eye open for funnies online and some jokes from Sally.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally
David (my husband) has a secret stash… thankfully only one-liners and here is part Two of some new groaners…
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said Parking Fine. So that was nice.
I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
The universe implodes. No matter.
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from Earth?
If you’re being chased by a police dog try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.
Apparently 82.6 per cent of statistics are made up on the spot.
I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.
I got an odd-job man in. He was useless. Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven. Had to get an even-job man in to finish it off.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me: “Can you give me a lift?” I said: “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.”
Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.
Wonderful selection. Thanks for keeping us laughing!
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Thanks Olga..hugsx
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Couldn’t choose a favourite – they’re all chuckleworthy! Many thanks, Debbie, Sally and David.xx
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Thanks Alex.. delighted you enjoyed..hugsx
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Excellent, ladies. I really loved the photo of the year, amazing how the do resemble each other. Lol. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
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It was brilliant.. like minds by the look of it too…thanks for sharing William..hugsx
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Great groans Sal. My personal fav: “The universe implodes. No matter.” ❤
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Lol..some wits out there clearly without a life ♥♥
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You weren’t kidding about the groaners–but they are amusing! That first photo is unreal. The two of them look just alike! :O
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I have a feeling temperament wise as well! hugsx
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I don’t doubt it!
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I love the income possibility of having a homing pigeon. and great jokes once again from your hubby…
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Thanks Jim I will pass that alon..x
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Laughs galore Maids of Mirth. Thank you.
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Delighted that we still have you as our patron John..hugsx
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Always
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Happy to remain in good form 🙂
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Looooool – The first one is priceless, and i know one really has an identical face like his dog. ;-))
Thank you also for the very thoughtful one liners, and enjoy both a beautiful rest of the week! Only one day to go! Thanks God for this! xx Michael
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Glad you enjoyed that photo Michael lol.. and yes for some reason this week has been a little long..hugsx
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:-))
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Yes, thank God it’s almost the weekend Michael. Have a good one 🙂 xx
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Thank you very much, Debby! Enjoy your weekend as well. xx Michael 🙂
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❤
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❤❤ I hope its all fine in Canada, and you will have a beautiful weekend, Debbie! xx
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Thanks Michael. The weather is gorgeous and hoping someone invites me to an outdoor patio ❤
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I am sure they will do, Debbie! Otherwise you have to knock on the doors. 😉 Remember, most people may have forgotten how to keep company by now.❤
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That is so true. We need a whole new lesson on social etiquette 🙂 x
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Lets begin, Debbie! 😉 Have a beautiful week! Michael
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Thank you Michael, you too. 🙂
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Thank you for the grin on my face.
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Happy to hear Mary Anne..hugsx
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My favorite: photo of the year! Amazing!
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Lol.. thanks Balroop birds of a feather…hugsx
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I can’t choose a favourite among any of these, Sally and Debby. They all made me laugh.
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Then we are very happy Viv..hugsx
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Good to hear Viv 🙂
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Thanks for the laughs, Debby and Sally. Isn’t it amazing how some people look like their dogs (or the other way around)! And good ones from David. I’ve also wondered about the Miss Universe contest!
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Lol.. perhaps because they are starlets! glad you enjoyed Diana… ♥
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Groan. Lol.
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♥♥
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Lol Diana 🙂 xx
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