Smorgasbord Funnies 2024 -Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – Expensive cars and life after 70

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web from Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

  My thanks to Debby  for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Debby’s first post in her 2024 series Life Lessons 101: Kindness

Now some observations on life after 70 by the rich and famous.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. Anon

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The biggest myth is that as you grow older, you gradually lose your interest in sex. This myth probably got started because younger people seem to want to have sex with each other at every available opportunity including traffic lights, whereas older people are more likely to reserve their sexual activities for special occasions such as the installation of a new pope. Dave Barry.

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My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right I feel ten years older already… Milton Berle.

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After seventy you still chase women, but only downhill… Bob Hope.

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Doctor: ‘I don’t know quite how to put this – but your heart is on its last legs and you have only six months to live.’

‘Is there nothing I can do? asked the shocked man.

‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘you can give up alcohol and smoking. Don’t eat any fried food or sugar and don’t even think about sex.’

‘Will this make me live longer?’ the man asked hopefully.

‘No,’ replied the doctor, ‘It’ll just seem longer.’ Anon

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On my seventieth birthday I went to a Harley Street plastic surgeon. The top man in his field. I said ‘Look here! Can you give me the face and body of Kim Kardashian?’

He took one look at me and replied, ‘Madam! If I could do that I’d be raising the dead and walking on water.’ Mike Knowles.

 

 We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.