We will be sharing some of the funnies from the archives and hope you enjoy..thanks Debby and Sally.
D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally
1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the toilet.
2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
11.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
12.Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
13.Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
14.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
15.Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
A man is looking through a cemetery when he hears some music. He looks around to see who is playing it but can’t see anyone. Searching for the source, he finally finds it coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:
Ludwig van Beethoven 1770-1827
Then he realizes the music is Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and is being played backward.
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.By the time they arrive back at the grave, the Seventh Symphony is playing, also backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.When they return, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.The expert notices the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. By the next day, the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then, the graveyard’s caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone asks him if he has an explanation for all of this. “I would have thought it was obvious,” he replied. “He’s decomposing.”
Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on you face…thanks Debby and Sally.