Debby Gies has been foraging on line for some funnies and I have a joke or two from the archives.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates
Now something from Sally
Some useful hints from those who have tried and tested their suggestions!
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull terrier
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said,
“Quit while you’re ahead?”
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error…..
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone…
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way.
It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.
Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.
Superb! Thanks for putting a smile on my face, Debby and Sally!
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Thanks very much Olga.. delighted to hear..♥
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Always very humorous and entertaining.
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Thanks Jamie…enjoy the rest of the week.
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Thank you. You too.
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Like David, I properly laughed at some of these – many thanks to both of you for brightening up a grey rainy day here. I’m still grinning! xx
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Wonderful thanks Alex for letting us know…just what we like to hear…hugs ♥
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Lol, my favorite is: Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Only every single day! 🙂
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Story of my life ♥
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So true about adult injuries, Debby. That one hit home. And a great list, Sally. Lots of truth (and wisdom, in there too. Thanks for the laughs to start my day. 😀
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Thanks Diana.. glad you have started you day off with some smiles.. I hope the rest of the day followed in the same way…hugsx
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The pair of you have made my morning! Thank you so much!
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Great to hear Jaye.. thank you…hugsx
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💕
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Well then, mission accomplished Jaye 🙂 xx
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💕💕
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Cheered me up no end. Thanks x
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Great to hear Jane…hugsxx
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Then our work is done Jane. 🙂 xx
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Thanks so much xx
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A couple of these are classics that make me laugh every time I see them.
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Like the shin bone? LOL. That’s one I repeatedly never learn 🙂
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Loved all of these, Debby and Sally. Toni x
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Happy to entertain Toni xx
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somebody had margaritas on their mind; love the definition of health… 🙂
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There are worse things lol..xx
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yes, indeed 🙂
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This somebody for sure has margs on the mind! 🙂
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🙂
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Lol – You are wicked Ladies! :-)) From week to week you are including more jokes, involving the age of women. 😉 Thanks for the laughter. 😉 xx Michael
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We are incorrigible Michael and we are not going to change any time soon..lol..hugsx
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Factoid! 🙂 lol ❤
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LOL Michael. It’s good to see you are paying good attention. LOL. Thank you for sharing and glad you enjoyed. 🙂 xx
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Always Debby! It took time listen to women, and feeling their waves. But now i think i can receive the important rayes. Lol Have a beautiful rest of the week, Debby. xx Michael
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Thanks my friend! Happy Thursday! 🙂 xx
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Thank you as well, Debby! Also enjoy a wonderful Thursday! xx Michael
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Thank you ❤
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😎 😉
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks Michael..hugsx
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Another batch from the keeper file, Maids of Mirth.
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Thank you John.. you know we always await your seal of approval…hugsxx
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Hahaha. You shouldn’t
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let us be the judge of that sir…xx
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😊
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Thank you kind Sir 🙂
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These are hilarious, Sally. Do you think Michael will stop loving me if I put a mouse trap on top of his alarm clock?
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I would say that is probably a yes lol..hugsx
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Sal, your one liners were hilarious. The Shin is the perfect description LOL. ❤
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Thanks Debby… If only I had known these in my teens I wouldn’t have got into half as much trouble…hugs ♥
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LOL ❤ ❤
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♥♥
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LOL! Thank you for the laugh! 😀
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Glad you enjoyed Kymber..hugsx
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These were fantastic, ladies. Loved them all. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
https://williampriceking.tumblr.com/
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Thank you so much William. Hugs xx
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Great Wiliam and thanks for sharing hugs xxx
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Thanks for the laughs, Debby and Sally! 😀 A pitcher of Margaritas will surely give you the munchies, though. 😉 The shin is definitely an expert at finding furniture, along with the little toe. Ouch!
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Thanks Debbie.. and chocolate after a pitcher of margaritas are rarely remembered so don’t count..xxx
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Absolutely! 😀 And, chocolate goes SO well with booze. 🍹
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Absolutely Sal! ❤
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LOL Deb, I too loved the shin one the best, I’m a living example LOL. Munchies or not, margaritas the best! 🙂 xx
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Sally, I love all you do. Thanks for making me laugh.
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Glad you enjoyed our funnies session Brenda Marie…we do like to hear that..hugsx
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Very good Debby I’m wearing my smile, But you Sally, you mined the motherlode today and brought on a very rare audible laugh. Thank you both.
Hugs Galore xxxxxxxx
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Thanks David and glad to hear…hugsxxxx
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Lol David, so our work is done. 🙂 Hugs back xxx
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Great ones, ladies! I like that thirsty theory! 🙂
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Thanks Jan..as you can tell we do like our margaritas…hugsxx
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Words to live by 🙂
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🤣
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Good to hear Dorothy…hugsx
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