Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Spiritual Awareness – Child Innocence and ability to see Spirit, #Imaginaryfriends by D.G. Kaye

Explore the spiritual side of our natures and the universe as D.G. Kaye shares her experiences and research into this element of our lives.

You can find part Twenty-Two of the series: Manifesting

Welcome back to my Spiritual Awareness series here at Sally’s Smorgasbord. In this post I’m going to talk about child innocence and their ability to see spirit, as well as their make-believe friends.

Innocence, Spirit and Imaginary Friends

It is said that babies and young children can see spirit because their souls are still pure, and they have no filters. I have encountered witnessing a spiritual event once in my past family life with my niece days after she was born, and other observations when she was a young child with her imaginary friends.

My niece was just days old, born just before the Jewish Passover. On this holiday, at the end of the Seder dinner, the tradition is that the female head of the household opens the door hoping to invite in the prophet Elijah, symbolizing hope and redemption in Judaism as he is said to take a sip of the special wine-filled glass that is set upon the table along with all other wine glasses that have been blessed upon. Elijah’s awaited visit through the centuries signifies the earthly coming of the Messiah. (I think we are still waiting.)

As a child, it always felt magical to watch the wine cup as my mother or grandmother opened the door. I expertly used to watch the wine cup to see if the rich, red liquid, nearly filled to the brim, would stir or ripple. But on this one particular Seder gathering, my father was cradling my newborn niece, only days old, in his arms, when my mother went to open the door. (This was the one and only time my mother ever made a Seder dinner, and my parents were long divorced by then, but civil to each other.) As traditional, everyone’s eyes were focused on the wine glass in anticipation when my mother opened the door – but I was watching the baby, as was my father. As soon as that door opened – so did the baby’s newborn eyes open wide out of a slumber, as she gave a momentary shriek then immediately closed her beautiful eyes back to sleep. My father and I witnessed the sacred moment, locked eyes with each other in ‘knowing’, and shed a tear together in joy.

My same niece became a very intelligent and playful little girl with great imagination, always years ahead of her age, a child I classified as an old soul. In her early growing up days, I spent a good many years at her house. Whenever I’d catch her playing alone, she always spoke directly to three invisible people – as though she was never alone. Three people with the same rhyming names – Locky, Jocky, and Mocky. (Even I remember their names.) At first after hearing these names repeatedly when I’d visit, I figured it was her grand imagination. But when I eventually asked her who those people were whom she kept speaking to, she casually told me they were her best friends. I knew in my soul they were her imaginary friends, but also always wondered if they were really spirits she could see and talk to or just imaginary.

My niece has a memory like an elephant – like me, for the distant past. And occasionally, when we get together and talk about her childhood, I ask her what happened to her three friends – to which she tells me, she has no idea of what I’m speaking about. It makes me wonder if she’d forgotten her imaginary friends’ and names, or were they spirit ancestors and/or angels who were her comforting as playmates?

Can Children Distinguish Between Spirits and Imaginary Friends?

Psychologists say that it’s perfectly normal for young children to have imaginary friends. Imaginary friends are part of a child’s open imagination. They may create them merely for company as playmates, or some children may create them for a sense of protection, or as distraction from their surroundings, especially if they aren’t living in a harmonious home. And this makes sense to me as my niece grew up in a parallel tumultuous household, as I did.  Many children invent imaginary friends. But many others do have the ability to sense spirit if one is around, because of their pure and unclouded nature. It’s not as though babies and toddlers all have extra sensory perception. It’s just that they have no bias or filters, and no limiting beliefs.

It’s important to note that a healthy normal child who has imaginary friends is not a cause for worry, and it is in fact, said to be quite normal for young tykes to conjure up imaginary friends. The only thing to make sure of is that the child is not imagining anyone who scares them or threatens their peace, putting them in harm’s way. Often, little children will invent an imaginary friend as a dissociation from experienced or ongoing trauma.

Even in healthy circumstances, I think it’s always a good idea for parents to get to know more about their children’s childhood make-believe friends. By asking them questions about ‘their friends’ we can learn if those are healthy or disturbing friendships – or perhaps if they are indeed talking to visiting spirit, not an imaginary friend.

My Story:

I remember in my own childhood that it felt much like walking on eggshells and around landmines around my mother, never knowing what personality she’d be sporting, and I felt very alone my entire childhood with nobody to ask questions to or to confide in. The only person I had for guidance was my Aunty Sherry, but even so, anything I didn’t want shared with my mother, I had to hold back, because of course my aunt would report concerns.

I let my imagination run wild to escape screaming and fighting in my almost daily life. And the emotional neglect contributed to my low self-esteem, my starvation for affection, and fear of my mother’s wrath, should I ever dare to ask a question about my father. I was a very nervous child, always with fear. I feared being yelled at by my mother ‘the screamer’. I feared waking up and finding my father gone – again. And I carried with me always, a sadness for my father because he wanted to be with his family, but my mother didn’t want him.

That’s A LOT of baggage for a child to grow up with and carry. And I didn’t just grow up one day and take a look back. I know I was born an old soul. I was wise beyond my years (just like my niece). I knew the unsettlement I grew up in while I lived it, remembering back as far as three-years-old. I was the seeker of information, always on a gotta know now basis.  I paid attention to my surroundings and all the grown-ups that played a part in my life since then. It was only when I was about seven or eight years old that I began paying attention to every word and what was going on. It was then that when I was sent to bed I didn’t go to sleep. I’d perch myself in a corner at the top of the stairway and listen. I’d listen for my parents to argue, or I’d listen to my mother dishing the dirt to a friend that may have precious clues for me, but I never slept when there was something I felt I needed to know about my parents’ status.

But before I became a cop about the ongoing status of my rollercoaster family goings Ons, the turmoil between my parents greeted me when I was born, and no doubts, was in full force before I came along. And in those very young years, before I understood what was really going on in my household, I know I lived deep in my own imagination – my peaceful escape place in my mind.

 Maybe, like my niece, I don’t remember my imaginary friends from back then, or maybe I didn’t invent any. But one thing I know for certain, I enjoyed playing in a make- believe world. I pretended I was a princess sometimes, and others, I was a good witch. I loved magic and escapism. Samantha from Bewitched became my idol when I was five. And I can’t tell you how many of my young years I’d practice in front of a mirror twitching my nose. I believed in magic, and I believed if I could become magic, I could fix situations and people – mainly, my parents’ relationship.

Yes, when I look back, I think it’s uncanny that at such a young age, I was quite aware of my unsettled family life. Sadly, my ambition to want to fix people followed me my whole life. And I wasn’t Samantha. I realized there was no fixing my mother, and almost fatally learned by putting up with an abusive relationship for years, before I met my loving husband, it’s impossible to fix damaged souls whose help needed was beyond my control. But I eventually became the white witch – although I still could never twitch my nose.

~ ~ ~

 I shared some of my own experience from my past to show that in my and my niece’s situations, it is not difficult to see why we had our own imaginary worlds as young children. I would have to imagine that kids who grow up in a happy and emotionally healthy environment can also have imaginary friends, but for different reasons. Children are creative and imaginative. If they are happy kids without a worry – as a child should be, their imaginations should take them to some wonderful places. And for those tiny-troubled tykes, imagination is a welcomed escape – and can even lead some to becoming writers. 😊

Do you have any children or grandchildren who had imaginary friends? Do you remember ever having any yourself?

 The Real Reasons Kids Have Imaginary Friends

Why Children Have Imaginary Friends

©DGKaye2023

 My thanks to Debby for sharing the background to both having imaginary friends and how the very young can often be more perceptive than we imagine.

About D.G. Kaye

D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction memoir writer who writes about life, matters of the heart and women’s issues. Her intent is to inspire others by sharing stories about events she encountered, and the lessons that came along with them. She loves to laugh and self-medicate with a daily dose of humor. When she’s not writing intimate memoirs, you’ll find her writing with humor in some of her other works and blog posts.

Kaye’s childhood kept her observant about her surroundings. Growing up in a tumultuous family life kept her on guard about the on-and-off-going status of her parents’ relationship. She began writing notes, and journaled about the dysfunction she grew up in. By age seven she was certain she was going to grow up to become a reporter. But life has a funny way of taking detours. Instead, she moved away from home at eighteen with a few meager belongings and a curiosity for life, finished university and changed careers a few times along the way, always striving to work her way up to managerial positions. Her drive to succeed at anything she put her mind to led to having a very colorful and eventful life.

Ever the optimist, D.G. conquered quite a few battles in life; health and otherwise, and her refusal to accept the word ‘No’, or to use the words ‘I can’t’, keeps her on a positive path in life. She hopes to inspire others with her love of telling stories with lessons to empower others, by sharing her own experiences.

In 2021, she lost the love of her life. “When the grief overcame me, I found my only way to move forward was through my writing (that book currently in the works) and communing with others who understand this journey. Through this and my own search for seeking comfort, I began podcasting – Grief, The Real Talk. This is a podcast for those of us who’ve worn the shoes, and for all those who wish to understand the journey of a griever.

Books by D.G. Kaye

One of the reviews for P.S. I Forgive You

Martha Perez 5.0 out of 5 stars Splendid Healing Read!!!  Reviewed in the United State

Many of us came from a flawed family. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our parents, and when a child is abused, they will carry the pain throughout their lives. It’s an emotional roller coaster; the author speaks from her heart and soul. This story is heartfelt. You will have tears flow down your cheeks. It’s not easy to forgive, but I am glad she has written this book.

A mother’s love should be unconditional, but when they have gambling and other problems, they exercise control over their children by being selfish and not loving. It’s a recipe for disaster. Why her mother wasn’t happy reflects on her daughter’s hurt she carries throughout her life and the neglect and abuse of the family.

I understand why writing her journey was so important. It’s like letting go of a butterfly jarred to be free to fly away from the Suffocation from her past.

I don’t think we can ever understand why some parents do what they do. We must heal from the bad and be grateful for the good. I could relate with D.G. Kaye. My parents were alcoholics and gave us away. It’s important to forgive, but you never forget. I highly recommend this fantastic book. 

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Podcast: YouTube –   All Links: Linktree

 

 

Thanks for dropping in today and it would be great if you could share Debby’s post.. thanks Sally