Welcome to laughter lines with some fun from around the web from Debby Gies and a joke or two to make you smile from Sally.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s 2020 series here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally.
Walking into a bar has been the subject of many jokes over the years and I will share one or two of my favourites .
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
00000
A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replied, “They’ve gone to the hanging.” “Hanging? Who are they hanging?” “Brown Paper Pete,” the bartender replied.
“What kind of a name is that?” the cowboy asked. “Well,” said the bartender, “he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes.”
“Weird guy,” said the cowboy. “What are they hanging him for?”
“Rustling,” said the bartender
00000
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley.
Well, a man at the end of the bar said, “That’s amazing; I’ll give you $1,000 for the frogs.” The man agreed the guy took off.
The bartender said to him, “You could have gotten more for the frogs.”
The man said, “Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
Thanks for dropping by and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.
So funny, especially Santa!!
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Poor guy, he may resign…xxx
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Hahaha!!
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Thank you!
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Thanks for the chuckles, Sally & Debby! We all need a little escape from the madness of our crazy world. I loved Santa and the bar jokes! Ventriloquist hamster!!!??? Ha! Take care! Hugs xx
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Great thanks Janice.. we love to hear people have enjoyed the funnies.. have a good week..hugs ♥
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💕
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Thanks for the laughs, Debby and Sally! 😉
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Thanks Olga..hugsxx
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Too many great chuckles here to pick a favourite! Many thanks for the humour, ladies. Much appreciated!
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Our pleasure Trish, enjoy the rest of the week..hugsx
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Rustling!!! Oh groan!!
Elastic waistbands though… damn true!
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I know…I wore a pair of jeans the other day with a zip and button… not an experience I am keen to repeat lol..xx
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Ooo zips and buttons. Bad, bad, bad.
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lol..xxx
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Oh my goodness, Sally and Debby! You ladies made me laugh right out loud. What a wonderful thing to do!! 🙂 Great ones! “Eats shoots and leaves….” Bwwwaaaahhhhhhh 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed Jan.. we do like to hear that people leave smiling..hugsx
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Funny stuff. Much needed laugh this morning.
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Glad to start your day off with a smile Don..xx
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I don’t laugh out loud at jokes very often, but those at the end made me actually lol. 😆
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Glad to hear Brandon.. thanks for letting us know.
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Uh oh, that naughty dog in the first meme looks suspiciously like my granddog Bennie.
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LOl.. so funny I love the commentary people come up with to fit the crime…xxx
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Yes, the rustling was great Sal. Thanks for plucking! And thank god for elastic waistbands LOL ❤
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Poor guy.. must have been a laughing stock all his life lol…and the guy who invented elastic should have been knighted..♥
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LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ❤
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♥♥
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The Rustling was too much, Sally. Just too much. MUCH TOO MUCH!!!! 😀 😀 😀
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Lol.. thanks Ann… I was creased up about it too…xxxx
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Love that cowboy, Ladies, and Santa with Covid! Toni x
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LOL ❤
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Thanks Toni.. we do like to hear that..hugsxx
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loved the rustling and ventriloquist jokes; bars are the perfect setting for so many jokes!
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Thanks Jim and a couple of beers helps the jokes go down too…xx
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yes they do 🙂
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:-))
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Love the snowman. And the Santa. And everything else!
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Thanks Dorothy..hugsx
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“the hamster’s a ventriloquist.” Officially my first coffee splutter of the New Year.😂 Thanks so much, Debby and Sally. ;❤
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Thanks Soooz and delighted to make you splutter…xx♥
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😁
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Lol, happy to bring the smiles – sorry about the spill LOL 🙂 ❤
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😁
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I’m still laughing, Sally and Debbie. Sometimes it takes craziness to help us escape – craziness. 🤣
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We have to be a little crazy to cope with everything these days Gwen.. lol hugsxx♥
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That’s why we’re here Gwen 🙂 x
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Excellent you two.
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Thanks John..hugsxx
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Thanks John 🙂
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I wish I got snow where I live. I’d scare the pants off my grandson with the snowman!
And the rustler cracked me up (after I groaned).
Thanks for the laughs!
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Thanks Diana..and we rarely get snow but the witch on the front lawn usually does the trick..xxx
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Best way to start the day- laughter really is the best medicine 🙂
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Thanks Jacquie..hugsx
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I needed that as I’ve just come from Mary’s page. I should have seen Eats Shoots and Leaves coming – but I fell off my chair with ‘rustling’.
Thanks. xx
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Thank Jemima…hugsxx
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See you’ve removed it as per previous comment. It was in the original book, I’m sure. Lynne Truss
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It was Jemima but wanted to double check the last line first before replacing.. xxx
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Debby’s joke about the resolutions is very funny, Sally. I loved the hamster and the frogs joke. I didn’t get the first one, are you sure it is complete?
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Well spotted Robbie.. lol… have removed as I can’t remember where I got it..I should have done elderly memory jokes instead..xx
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Oh funny, Sally.
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Lol Robbie 🙂
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Are you taking a break, Debby? I haven’t seen any posts from you lately.
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Yes Robbie. I announced it on my New Year post :). I’ll be back in a week or so full time 🙂
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Oh sorry, Debby. I must have forgotten. I just realised I hadn’t seen anything from you – I always check.
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Lol, thanks so much Robbie. I’ll be back posting next week, starting Sunday with a book review 🙂
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I love Santa, Debby.
And Sally, I really liked the rustler!
Thanks for the laughs.
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Thanks Viv.. poor Santa..lol..xx
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Glad you enjoyed Viv. I’m relating to the elastic waistbands LOL 🙂
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