Debby Gies has been foraging on the internet for funnies to share and I have a joke or two up my sleeve.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates
Now something from Sally
With all the travel restrictions and things we have to remember it is easy to forget the other pitfalls we came across on our trips.
A little night action
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.”
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How’d you sleep?” Asked the manager. “Never better.”
The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”
“Nope, I shut him up in no time.” Said the Marine.
“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”
Travel in Transylvania
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”
“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.
“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer.
Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn.
“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.
“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, “Get the hell off our car!”
Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.
Fantastic images (love the vase and the tomatoes), and love the joke as well. Thanks, Debby and Sally for keeping us laughing!
LikeLike
Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – August 15th – 21st 2021 – Crows, Chicago, Soul-Mates, Stories, Poetry, Health, Book Reviews and Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
I laughed out loud at the tomato!
LikeLike
What a cracker of a post. Such fun!
LikeLike
I would have never thought of that phrase while looking at that vase, but one you say it, it is so obvious! and I guess with the saving files – once bitten, twice shy.
that’s one clever Marine and it seems like Sister Marilyn was just waiting to shout that out! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A sister can only take so much Jim lol.. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know all too well what their breaking point is; they taught me for eight years! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband had the ‘brothers’.. and he was well versed too…x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had brothers in high school – I guess I didn’t have a chance 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
you didn’t..xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant! From the vase with attitude to the cross nun, these were all a fun addition to my day. Many thanks to both of you! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much Alex.. delighted to hear hugsx
LikeLike
All good, but I especially liked the last two jokes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Pete…x
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was some night action Sal. Great funnies today! ❤ xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would be awake all night too lol…♥♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who wouldn’t? Lol ❤ xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, how I remember those early car seats. My, how we’ve changed. These are all great, but the Marine joke made me laugh right out loud! Thanks, ladies!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Me too Jan. Lol. Always glad to bring some chuckles. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jan.. glad they made you laugh hugs xx
LikeLike
Hilarious, Sally and Debby – love the Marine joke and that car seat (oh boy)! Toni x
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Toni. The Vase had me today. I just laugh looking at it, lol xx 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Toni… that car seat made me laugh too.. David had 5 brothers and sisters. so including his parents there were 7 in a VW Beetle. baby in his carrycot in the back space – four children in the back seat, one across the central consul changing gear and mum and dad in the two front seats…and always music.. the good old days..♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Incredible 😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, you both pulled all the stops out today nd they’re all brilliant. That vase really has attitude, no argument from me.
Massive Hugs
LikeLiked by 2 people
Didn’t it David? Lol. So glad you enjoyed. Massive hugs returned as always xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks very much David.. we do love to hear that… hugsxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
How frightening was that tomato! xx
LikeLiked by 3 people
Terrifying lol…♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right? Lol 🙂 Hugs Joy xox
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love them all, but especially the vase, the tomatoes, and the clever Marine.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks Dolly.. that vase has some attitude lol..hugsxx
LikeLiked by 2 people
That she does (‘vase’ is feminine in Russian, and this one certainly is!). Hugs right back to you, dear Sally.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That explains it then Dolly lol… hugsxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
😻
LikeLiked by 1 person
That vase got some attitude! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
A bunch of great ones!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much John…hugsx
LikeLike
Hi John. Thanks, so glad you enjoyed. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think, i will take the tomatoes! Lol So wonderful jokes, the Travel in Transsylvania too. :-)) thank you Debby and Sally! Enjoy the rest of the day! xx Michael
LikeLiked by 2 people
better make sure they are not cursed first Michael..hugsx
LikeLike
Dont worry, i have an exorcist by the hand. Lol hugsx
LikeLike
Thank you Michael. And thanks for sharing. I do hope those tomatoes didn’t scare you. LOL 🙂 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks very much Michael..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
:-)) Thank you as well, Sally! Enjoy a great rest of the day! hugsx
LikeLike
I love the night action joke!
LikeLiked by 3 people
At least one of them got a good night sleep lol..xx
LikeLiked by 3 people
😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, Maids of Mirth you have struck again. Well done.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks very much John…we are relieved to know we are still your favourites lo.. hugsx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes you are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woohoo! Why, thank you good Sir 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha, the demon was lucky, Sister Marilyn’s cross could have been worse. Debby’s meme’s are great as always.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks Robbie.. I did tone down the language a little it was more effective in the original lol.. hugs
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yes, I have read the original hence my comment. Teehee.
LikeLiked by 1 person
♥♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Robbie. Glad to hear you enjoy them. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol, especially the the Transylvanian one ☺️☺️
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great thanks Willow..♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
💜
LikeLike
Lols. Thanks, ladies! Hugs 💕🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
thanks Harmony..♥♥
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
I can imagine some nuns I knew showing their cross!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Lol.. me too Jemima usually with a slipper or ruler! hugs
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks so much for the chuckles. Loved the tomato one!
LikeLiked by 4 people
I shall be careful next time I am cutting one….hugsx
LikeLiked by 4 people