Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 17th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Cross Vases and Nuns….

Debby Gies has been foraging on the internet for funnies to share and I have a joke or two up my sleeve.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: Realms of Relationships – Soul Mates

Now something from Sally

With all the travel restrictions and things we have to remember it is easy to forget the other pitfalls we came across on our trips.

A little night action

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.”

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How’d you sleep?” Asked the manager. “Never better.”

The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time.” Said the Marine.

“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”

Travel in Transylvania

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer.

Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn.

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, “Get the hell off our car!”

 

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

71 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 17th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Cross Vases and Nuns….

  1. I would have never thought of that phrase while looking at that vase, but one you say it, it is so obvious! and I guess with the saving files – once bitten, twice shy.

    that’s one clever Marine and it seems like Sister Marilyn was just waiting to shout that out! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – August 15th – 21st 2021 – Crows, Chicago, Soul-Mates, Stories, Poetry, Health, Book Reviews and Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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