Welcome to laughter lines. We will be sharing some of our favourites from the archives over the next few weeks.
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Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally passed on by my sister Diana…
Groaners
- Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
- .What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
- Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
- Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
- Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
- A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
- I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
- I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
- My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
- Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
- Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
- When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
- Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
- I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
- I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
- I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
- What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
- I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.
I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.” LAUGHING OUT LOUD!
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Good to hear Claire… there are some brilliant minds out there thinking these things up… hugsx
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Thanks for keeping the laughter alive Sal. The groaners brought smiles – desperately needed ❤ xx
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I am sure Debby… ♥♥
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Oh, the laughs! Thank you!
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Happy you enjoyed Jennie…hugs
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😀
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Love the groaners, Sally. Every one.
And Debby, the exploding cushions is hilarious.
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Thanks Viv and cannot imagine coming home to find those cushions…xx
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Aisle B back—very witty for Arnold.
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lol..xx
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Hilarious, Sally and Debby- and love those puns. Toni x
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Thanks Toni…glad you enjoyed..hugsx
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I love the exploding couch and ab panda 😀 😀 😀 I think Sally has been raiding the dad joke book again . . .
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You might be right Liz…xxx
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As groaners go, these are top of the range! xx
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Lol.. or the lowest perhaps depending on how you look at it..hugsx
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🤣
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Hilarious, ladies. Many thanks. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
https://williampriceking.tumblr.com/
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Great to hear William thank you and for passing them on..hugsx
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Thanks as always William ❤
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♥
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Laughing out loud, ladies! Thank you!
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Great thanks Jan…enjoy your day…hugsxx
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Hmm. I had an entire bookshelf explode when I left my puppy alone…
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Oh my goodness he must have been terrified lol..xx
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Oh, he was proud of himself. I have a photo of him surrounded by a giant mound of paper (he was and still is to a certain extent, a paper eater) that covered the entire floor, and he had little slivers of paper hanging out of his mouth. Yes, the tail was wagging.
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You could hire him out to companies as a paper shredder.. Sam loved to hold envelopes in his teeth while we pulled out the contents and then shred it..so no worry about anyone getting our address.. xx
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LOL! Good training!
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xx
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Thigh slappers, Maids of Mirth. 😁
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Careful now John.. we wouldn’t want you to do yourself an injury lol..xx
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Hahahaha.
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hugsx
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Great Laughter Lines today. Please can I steal these Smorgasbord groaners to share with a group I belong to?
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Of course Ann.. not sure where they came from in the first place lol..xx
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love all the puns – great collection!
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Thanks Jim.. glad you enjoyed. x
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Loved the groaners – especially near the end… rocky road and aisle B back…. lol
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Thanks Jemima.. the groaners are good for you…lol..x
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All together good for barrels of laughter. :-)) Thank you very much, Debby and Sally! Something beyond the “Groaners” i have to re-read and translate for me. 😉 Have a beautiful rest of the afternoon, and a nice evening! Michael
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Thanks Michael.. and not sure something might be ‘lost in translation’ with the groaners… enjoy the rest of your day too..hugs
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Maybe, Sally! But i will always use the translation giving most funny thoughts. Lol xx
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xx
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