Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.
And for dessert some snippets and when all hope appears lost….
Both Cream and The Jam were going to reunite for gigs in Devon and Cornwall this year…
But the venues couldn’t agree about who should go on first…
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People have always named children after expensive things, Mercedes, Dior, Chardonnay next year watch out for Electric, Gas and Petrol.
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I’m currently reading a book called ‘Swimming the English Channel’ by Francis Near
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And a follow up to the recent storms in our area
With these high winds, I’m worried about the caravan on my driveway, especially as 10 minutes ago I didn’t have a caravan on my driveway!
GARDEN CLEARANCE SALE
7 Trampolines
21 fence panels (various sizes)
46 roof tiles
Half a shed
4 bbq covers
5 garden chairs
Message me for prices
New stock arriving every 5 mins
EDIT… only 4 trampolines, 3 have moved on
When all hope appears lost
An elderly couple were flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Honey, did we pay the car bill this month?”
“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?”
“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,” she says.
“One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?”
The husband answers, “They’ll find us!”
My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp
About Daniel Kemp
Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?
In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.
Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.
He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.
A selection of books by Daniel Kemp
A review for What Happened in Vienna Jack?
Truth and lies, lies and truth and which is which? Can the truth be hidden in a lie and a lie be veiled in the truth?Suppose there are secrets too? Just the knowledge that something is hidden, well, reality can become a little blurred and obscure. When Patrick West meets Jack Prior in Daniel Kemp’s “What happened in Vienna Jack?” an investigation into police corruption in Soho leads, indirectly, to what could become a world ending catastrophe.
“What Happened in Vienna Jack?” Is a thriller, a tale of espionage and deceit, a story where a turn of reality can change with the turn of a page. I am constantly amazed by Daniel Kemp’s ability to not only keep control over a vast array of characters but, simultaneously, weave an erudite absorbing narrative that leaves me confounded. It was difficult to harness what I was reading. Daniel Kemp is meticulous in his research and extremely knowledgeable about Europe’s political landscape of 1933-1970.
In November of 1937 a violation, somewhere in Europe and prior to WW2, precipitates the unfolding narrative. Like any violation it is cruel, humiliating…just by reading about it, I felt dirty. The violation involves a prominent Nazi and a member of the British monarchy…see what I mean about secrets? This secret is so controversial (and “controversial” here is a massive understatement) that it is hidden, even to the point of murder, for fear of the secret being divulged. It’s an adroit piece of writing.
When I’ve posted this review I shall be reading “What Happened in Vienna Jack?” again. I think that most lovers of the thriller genre will feel the same. I’m not ready to leave either the characters, or this compulsive, gripping narrative…I’ll linger over every paragraph. And I’m pleased to learn that this book is just part one of a book series. If I haven’t made it clear enough, this book is highly recommended.
Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6
Thanks for visiting and I know Danny would love your feedback.…Sally
How rumors get started—haha! That was funny!
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Lol..it doesn’t take much…x
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Thank you, Pete
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Love it!
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Thanks Beth..hugs
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Thank you, Beth
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Get that poor man some toupe glue!
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Lol.. definitely… xx
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Thanks for the laughs, Danny and Sally. They hit the spot. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
https://williampriceking.tumblr.com/
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Great to hear thanks William and for passing along on Tumblr..hugsx
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Thank you for that
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Reblogged this on Daniel Kemp and commented:
I’m on the Mic again at the 6Smorgasbord Café.
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Thank you, Danny and Sally. I enjoyed the rescue story the best.
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It was funny.. they will be found lol.. hugsx
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😊
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Some great ones here – loved the marigolds! Thanks!
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Have some coming up in our garden.. lovely colours lol…hugsxx♥
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I wasn’t sure how the elderly couple one was going to end – loved it…
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lol.. me too Jim.. brilliant.. x
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👍
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These are great! Thanks Danny and Sally.
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Thanks for letting us know Jill.. have a good weekend hugsx
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Great, Daniel and Sally – I loved the shaving and garden clearance ones.
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Thanks Toni.. Danny does find the best..hugsx
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks for sharing Michael..hugsx
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The toupe. 🙂 xx Michael
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I know.. poor guy lol..xx
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Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up- 21st – 27th March 2022 – Hits 1991, Podcast, Book Reviews, Poetry, Health and Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
So funny!!
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Thanks Jennie ♥
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😀
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That last one is hilarious, Sally, and it’s so true. A great selection of funnies.
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Thanks Robbie.. glad you enjoyed ♥
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So, so funny! Thanks, Daniel and Sally! Exactly what I needed!
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Glad to hear it Olga.. have a good week..hugsx
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I’ve been away camping so I’m a little late to these, but I loved the laughs. My favorites were the military meme and the old couple on the island. Great laughs, Danny and Sally! 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed Yvette and hope you had an amazing camping trip…enjoy the week..hugsx
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We did, Sally! We biked over 20 miles, played card games, roasted marshmallows, and just thoroughly enjoyed being one with nature. 🙂
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Fabulous.. so pleased you had a great time..hugsx
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