The Universe Brings us Kindred Spirits
Welcome to my new edition of Realms of Relationships. I’d first like to thank Sally again for keeping my spirit alive while I’ve been transitioning through both my journey of the loss of my husband, and a great big move I did in the midst of my grief – a story which deserves a post on its own, and there will surely be one coming on my blog.
As the title of this series implies, my articles are about the many realms involved in the relationships we have and encounter in life with the people already in our lives, and the people we meet. So today I’m going to discuss Kindred Spirits – what sort of people are they, and how and why they enter our lives?
The universe brings us what we need in a single moment whether or not we asked for it or focused our thoughts on something, The universe will orchestrate a meeting of happenstance with a person(s) we share a kindred spirit with. This works similar to how we ‘meet people for reasons and seasons’. I have lived it many times, yet, it still never ceases to surprise me. I am always open to receive, and that is the key.
So what exactly defines ‘Kindred Spirits’?
“Kindred spirits are like-minded and like-souled people with whom an instant connection of love and understanding is mutually experienced.” Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PH.D., tells MBG.
“The connection is inimitable and often defies verbal description.”
This secret mission of the universe seems to work by the universe recognizing someone gels with us by connecting us with those we share a common experience with, and arranges this person to, coincidentally, show up into our lives randomly in a time of our need. We encounter new kindred spirits, magically, when our lives turn in a new direction and we serendipitously run into, or we’re introduced to someone helpful and/or compassionate, often at the precise time in our lives we are eager to welcome them.
Kindred spirits are typically those we attract to because we share common interests, values and/or views with them, and often, people who have shared same experiences as us. Kindred spirits typically resonate on the same soul frequency as we do. As we are all mostly made up of energy, it’s like our energy radars are flashing at the same frequency as a new kindred spirit passes our way. A kindred spirit isn’t necessarily always someone we already know, but someone new we meet and feel an instant comfort level and easily bond with on issues in common that connects us. Often, we meet kindred spirits randomly. We can be out somewhere at an event, or even at the corner store, for that matter. A sudden conversation strikes up, and instantly we can recognize that kindred soul because their path or beliefs or experiences in life are similar to our own, making us feel automatically drawn to them, and vice versa. Kindred spirits are people who connect with our souls. There is a mutual understanding, and we are on the same wavelength with this kindred spirit. They get us, we get them as our lives will have contained parallel experiences that draw us to one another. Kindred spirits often share our same values and humor – another soul who understands our soul.
A kindred spirit is one who seems to have an inner knowing of us, even though we barely just met, but often that is why we met. It’s people who sync with us and resonate with our vibe, and often our circumstances.
Note that kindred spirits are not the same as soulmates. Soulmates are different from kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are people who are drawn together in friendship by similar circumstances and spontaneity. Often soulmates are very different from their other half.
Soulmates also have histories of past lives being together. Kindred spirits can be a fleeting meet with someone out of the blue that serves a purpose in our lives. They may stay only for a season, or come and go in our lives as circumstances change.
Don’t confuse kindred spirits with lifelong friends. Some kindred spirits may fall into our paths for just a short time, and maybe even just once. The length of time spent with them shouldn’t be measured. They may come into our lives precisely at a time we need them, and they may leave just as fleetingly once our purpose of the meeting has been fulfilled. With a kindred spirit, what counts is the innate connection between us for however long they fill their purpose in our lives. Again, we meet people for reasons and seasons.
How you may be able to tell if someone is your kindred spirit.
A kindred spirit senses our needs. They may call or show up at just the right moment when we could use a hug or comforting conversation, and be gone just as quickly. The energetic fields of two kindred spirits are like fireflies connecting.
They come by when we need a lift from their presence or to impart words of wisdom in a dark moment.
Kindred Spirits I’ve encountered lately
Ironically, I discovered when I moved, I seemed to be living on the ‘Widow’ floor. As my new apartment is close to the elevator now, and with all the lugging of trolley loads of my belongings for weeks up and down between the two apartments, a few women caught me placing a key in the door and introduced themselves to me. It seems the commonality I had with both Sheila and Bernice was that we all moved into a smaller unit from the grand three bedrooms we all lived in with our spouses. Both these ladies introduced themselves to me as they welcomed me to the third floor. Both women suffered similar losses to mine with their husbands dying of cancer.
Now, since I have the ability to size up people I meet within minutes, I knew neither of these women were going to become my new best friends, but we shared a kinship with our grief. They came to me in my direst moments of sadness and held conversations with me about widowhood and grief. I met them roughly two days apart. And both showed immense compassion for my situation.
Both these ladies felt a need to recap their lives to me about their husbands. I could barely get a word in edge-wise with either of them. They both told me how their wonderful sons helped them move and help them more now in their lives. Sheila offered me an invitation to knock on her door whenever I am feeling blue, when the grief is overwhelming. She told me she lived it all a few years ago and warned me the pain of grief will never go away, adding, it just becomes a bit more tolerable, but that’s it. Sheila told me the first year was overwhelming, the second year was a smidge easier, then added that the heartache never really goes away. Not very inspiring, and not anything I hadn’t already imagined.
Both these ladies showed up in my life and welcomed me to visit them when I was having a bad day. It was a comfort to know there were others around me who understand grief. In our brief conversations, my water works turned on spontaneously, and I had no shame I was sobbing in front of strangers I’d just met.
Do I think these women are going to become my lifelong buddies? Not at all. We have nothing in common but the fragile thread of loss and widowhood. They offered me a safe place and a chance to tell my story – something I feel compelled to let others know because talking about my husband is my only sense of release, other than tears. I released my heart and tears and went on about my business. In those moments, I appreciated those olive branches, even though I most likely won’t ever knock on their doors.
These women’s encounters with me were a perfect example of how the universe sends people our way when it knows we could use a ‘kindred spirit’. In my case, someone who has been through the circuit of the loss of a spouse. It was timely and appreciated in the moment, although, truthfully, when I’m in my dark place, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers, heck, when I’m there, I don’t want to talk to anyone. Period. But when I do feel like talking, it is my longtime friends who know me well, and knew my relationship with my husband that give me most comfort. When I feel the need to speak of him, it is comforting for me to talk about him to those who understood our relationship. But these kindred spirits who came to me were comforting in the moments that I met them. Most likely they were just some of the people I’ll meet for reasons and seasons, and in those moments I chatted with them, it somehow helped to unburden my overwhelmed soul.
I align kindred spirits with the old saying that the universe sends us what we need at the various moments and pathways of our lives. Some stay, some go, and new ones will come along as life progresses and new circumstances occur. Keep your eyes and heart open to these special people who appear in our lives precisely in the moments we need them.
Do you have any outstanding memories of a kindred spirit who came into your life at the right moment?
My thanks to Debby for this exploration of kindred spirits and please share with us your experiences of this almost fateful arrival of people in your life and certain times.
Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.
When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
“I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.”
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”
Books by D.G. Kaye
One of the recent reviews for P.S. I Forgive You
As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.
Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.
It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.
Some lines that resonated with me in particular: