Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now time for a joke from my archives….

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:

“Jesus is watching you.”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

“Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

“Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?” he asked.

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”

“Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”

“The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus,” the parrot replied.

Thank you for joining us today and we hope you are leaving in a more jovial mood than when you arrived.. Debby and Sally.

 

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a Joke from Sally’s Archives.


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now time for a joke from my archives…..

An Ode to Spelling Checkers 

I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays comes posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we’re laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.

Anon (and I don’t blame them)…

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…. see you again soon.. Debby and Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Solar Minimum, Jazz Guitar, Vitamin Deficiency, Italian Cookery and Mischief in the court of Charles II


Welcome to the round up of posts that you might have missed on Smorgasbord during the week..

We are still waiting for summer with four times the annual monthly rainfall already in June. Not good news for the farmers and their crops… We also have a northerly air flow across Europe which means that even Madrid where we used experience temperatures in the late 20s and early 30s at this time of year, is only getting 16 to 20 degrees.

There is no doubt that there is climate change, but it is hard to put much stock in the warming that is threatened when the central heating is still on in June. There is no doubt that mankind is damaging our planet to a great degree but we have been also experiencing a reduction in solar activity in the last few years and are now in what is called Solar Minimum. This actually could put climate warming on the back burner for the next 50 years with extensive cooling and longer and colder winters for us all.. You might find these posts interesting   especially as we had 16 days of solar inactivity in the last month.

The Climate Depot: https://www.climatedepot.com/2018/02/08/solar-minimum-may-bring-50-years-of-global-cooling/

Astronomy Now: https://astronomynow.com/2015/07/17/diminishing-solar-activity-may-bring-new-ice-age-by-2030/

On a more cheerful note…..I have received some wonderful submissions for the new Sunday Interview beginning at the end of the month, and I will be scheduling posts in the next week. I would love to hear from you, with your perspective on the human senses.. and sixth sense, along with the opportunity to promote your blog and books if you are an author..

Here are the details: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/23/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-new-sunday-interview-series-human-in-every-sense-of-the-word-starting-sunday-june-30th-2019/

Looking forward to hearing from you…

Here are the posts from the week that you might have missed….

As always I am very grateful for the contributions from the regular guests and also to everyone who drops in during the week to like, comment and share.. the blog would not be the same without you.

This week William Price King shares the music of Grammy Award winning American Guitarist Pat Metheny

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-with-william-price-king-pat-metheny-guitarist/

Thomas the Rhymer

Part two of the story of Barbara Villiers, mistress of Charles II by Paul Andruss

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/14/smorgasbord-posts-from-my-archives-barbara-villiers-part-2-uncrowned-queen-by-paul-andruss/

Carol Taylor and I team up to share the deficiency of nutrients that are likely with a poor diet, the foods that contain this week Vitamin B12 and Vitamin E.. which helps B12 be absorbed.. and some recipes that contain healthy amounts of both..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/12/smorgasbord-health-column-cook-from-scratch-to-prevent-nutritional-deficiencies-with-sally-cronin-and-carol-taylor-vitamin-b12-cyanocolbalamin-combined-with-vitamin-e/

This month Silvia Todesco begins a series of summer themed recipes, beginning with the classic rice salad…Classic Rice Salad (Insalata de Riso)

IMG_3244

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-italiancookery-with-silvia-todesco-summer-classic-rice-salad-insalata-de-riso/

The story continues with Winter: Chapter Four – The Flight to the New Land and the court must pack up and leave the palace under the magnolia tree in Spain and head off on the backs of the Goose Express to The Emerald Island to face an unknown future.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/15/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-winter-chapter-four-the-flight-to-the-new-land-sally-cronin/

The next episode this weekend is Winter: Chapter Five – The Dapperman..unable to bring all the clothes from the queen’s wardrobe of of her courtiers, the services of the local fashion designer is sought.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/16/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-winter-chapter-five-the-dapper-man-sally-cronin/

Lovely to welcome back Colleen’s Tuesday Poetry Challenge 131 following her relocation and settling into her new home. This week she set us the challenge to find synonyms for her prompt words ‘Beginning and Consume’… here is my response.. Old Soldiers.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/12/smorgasbord-poetry-colleens-tuesday-poetry-challenge-131-double-etheree-old-soldiers-by-sally-cronin/

That time of the week when I participate in the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge by Charli Mills the prompt is ‘Many Hands’ and here is my piece of flash of 99 words, no more, no less.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/15/smorgasbord-short-story-carrot-ranch-flash-fiction-many-hands-by-sally-cronin/

This week Sherri Matthews shares her father’s story, which was complicated. It is a frank look at his life and also acknowledgement of how much he is loved. This was first posted in 2013. Sherri’s father sadly passed away in 2016, but she had dedicated her blog to him with a lovely tribute..About Sherri Matthews

Most recent photo of me and my dad taken in 2006 during a day out from his halfway house. No photos allowed in prison! (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-sherri-matthews-memoir-my-dad-the-great-train-robbery-and-a-game-of-cricket/

Time to welcome another regular contributor to the Archive series John Rieber.. this time I am going to be selecting the posts from his extensive archive..This week a restaurant with a difference.. and if you remember your grandmother’s cooking.. you will want to eat at this restaurant. A Staten Island Restaurant Hires Unique Cooks – The World’s Nonnas!

Image CBS New York

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/10/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-recipes-grandmas-cooking-in-the-kitchen-a-staten-island-restaurant-hires-unique-cooks-the-worlds-nonnas-by-john-rieber/

This is the second post from  mother and daughter writing team HL Carpenter (Helen and Lorri). Here is a short story… keeping the fairy tale alive.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/10/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-fiction-the-truth-about-fairy-tales-by-hl-carpenter/

Today I am sharing the second post from the archives of Marian Wood and her blog Just Muddling Through Life Marian has been blogging since October 2018 and posts about family life, writing, fiction and poetry…for her second post I have chosen a short story…..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-short-story-money-a-row-a-walk-and-a-tight-situation-by-marian-wood/

In June 2017, Frank Prem posted a poem a day.. and so I have chosen the poems he posted on this day and then the subsequent poems that correspond to his posts here…this based on his experience as a psychiatry nurse.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-psychiatry-4-acute-observations-the-futility-of-triple-words-by-frank-prem/

This is the second post from the archives of Tasker Dunham. I have selected this post as I remember my father building a replica biplane for my brother when he was four, along with a headset borrowed from the station we were based on.

Grandad Dunham's Chair - Flight Simulator

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/12/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-memoir-grandad-dunhams-flight-simulator-by-tasker-dunham/

This is the second post from the archives of fantasy author Lorinda J. Taylor and in this week’s post she explores some of the grammatical changes over time and some E-Book formatting tips..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/12/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-ye-olde-grammarian-no-6-a-hodgepodge-plus-some-e-book-formatting-tips-from-lorinda-j-taylor/

Olga Nunez Miret writes detailed and thought provoking book reviews and here is one that caught my eye..

Fallen Idols. A Century of Screen Sex-Scandals (Images of the Past) by Nigel Blundell

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-bookreview-fallen-idols-a-century-of-screen-sex-scandals-images-of-the-past-by-nigel-blundell-penswordbooks-by-olga-nunez-miret/

Pre-school teacher of over 30 years, Jennie Fitzkee, has been a welcome guest here many times but this time, Jennie has let me loose in her archives… this will be fun.  In this post Jennie compares childhood and summer.. then and now.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-childhood-and-summer-then-and-now-by-jennie-fitzkee/

This week London  Cabbie writing as Gibson Square shares a post from the Urban View series which looks at buildings or locations in London that have a hidden history..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-an-urban-view-223-bow-road-by-gibson-square-the-cabbie-blog/

This is Elizabeth Slaughter’s third post from the archives and I remember watching black and white movies at the cinema as a child and then on our television that was not colour until well into the 1960s.. Elizabeth shares her love of the big screen.

70322A16-6AA6-4627-B33D-D2F52F0E3D7D.jpeg

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/14/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-movies-in-colour-by-elizabeth-slaughter/

Time for another post from Kim of By Hook or by Book and  I have selected one from her Whimsical Wednesday Series – Mr. Rogers Edition

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/15/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-whimsical-wednesday-mr-rogers-edition-by-kim-of-by-hook-or-by-book/

This week’s post from Susanne Swanson is a post which mirrors my sentiments about team building exercises in general.  And it is something to think about in relation to how we all react when we here the words ‘Think outside the Box’

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/16/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-thinking-outside-the-box-puzzle-by-susanne-swanson/

And for her final posts…appropriately by Balroop Singh... I have shared an ode to Poetry.

Poetry

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/16/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-ode-to-poetry-by-balroop-singh/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/10/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-bette-a-stevens-andrew-joyce-and-marina-osipova/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/14/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-sue-vincent-janice-spina-christoph-fischer-and-teri-polen/

Eggs are highly nutritious and have been much maligned over the years. But they do need to be prepared carefully.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/10/smorgasbord-health-column-food-safety-eggs-are-wonderfully-nutritious-but-should-be-prepared-carefully-by-sally-cronin/

This week I share the shopping list of foods that may help you ward of dementia… but also some things to look out for in elderly relatives if you are caring for them.. Sometimes dementia symptoms can be down to interaction with other drugs or a urinary tract infection.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/smorgasbord-health-column-the-brain-shopping-list-for-the-brain-and-its-support-systems-by-sally-cronin/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-a-joke-from-sallys-archives-7/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-random-thoughts-and-a-joke-from-the-archives/

 

Thank you very much for dropping in today and for all your support… look forward to seeing you again soon.. Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Random thoughts and a joke from the archives….


And a little something from the archives…

Walking along the beach, John tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a Genie materialized.

“I can’t grant your wishes,” explained the freed spirit, “Due to poor connectivity with the seventh dimension. But I’ll give you three off-the-shelf gifts for releasing me: a potion to cure ill health, a very large diamond, and a dinner date with a famous movie star. By tomorrow afternoon, you will have received all these gifts.”

When John returned home from work the next evening, he excitedly asked his mother if anything had been delivered.

“Yes,” she replied. “It’s been an unusual day. At 2 pm, a 55 gallon drum of chicken soup arrived. About a half-hour later, a telegram came saying that a long-lost relative had left you a minor-league baseball stadium. Ten minutes ago, MGM called, inviting you to dinner with Lassie tonight.”

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you have enjoyed Sally…

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives.


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now time for a joke from my archives which was contributed by the always entertaining Linda Bethea

The crowds had been packing the traveling tent revival every night that week, grateful offerings filling the pockets of the evangelist. Cure after cure was enacted in the sweltering heat of those July evenings. Emotions were at an all time high on the last night as the last two afflicted souls reached the evangelist at the front of the tent.

Struggling up the steps on her crutches poor Mrs. Smith hobbled up to the evangelist. “Heal me! I haven’t been able to walk without crutches in twenty years.”

“Yes, Sister! You will be healed! Go behind that curtain and wait with the others waiting for healing.” Mrs. Smith slowly and painfully made her way behind the curtain.

Johnny Jones was the last in line. “I have a lifth. It hath made my life awful. Pleath heal me of my lifth!”

“Yes, Brother! You will be healed! Go behind the curtain with all the others and you will all be healed at once.”

The evangelist offered up a long, heartfelt prayer for healing. Weeping could be heard all over the tent. Finally, he concluded, calling out dramatically. “Mrs. Smith, you haven’t been able to walk without crutches for twenty years, have you?”

“No, Lord!” she replied from behind the curtain.

“You are healed! Throw your right crutch over the curtain.” Her right crutch flew over the curtain and clattered on the floor. “Now throw your left crutch over the curtain.” The left crutch followed.

Thunderous “Amens!” echoed all over the tent.

“Johnny Jones, you are healed of your lisp. Call out to us in a loud, clear voice so all can hear!” demanded the evangelist!

“Mithuth Thmith just fell on her ath!”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – The Weekly Round Up – Are you making the most of this watering hole? Guests, stories, health, humour and other stuff


Welcome to the round up of posts here on Smorgasbord that you might have missed this week.

Before we get to the posts, I wanted to summarise the ways that you can promote your blog and your books here on Smorgasbord Blog Magazine.

I wanted to create a watering hole for people to gather.. hence the magazine theme to the blog with columns from some very special contributors and guest posts that are informative, entertaining and thought provoking. It is also for me an opportunity to support authors, who like me are marketing their own books amongst the millions that are published each year.

The regular posts each month are:

The Cafe and Bookstore – new books and reviews (Free)

 The Music Column with William Price King

The Cookery and Food Column with Carol Taylor,

The Travel Column with D.G. Kaye,

Italian Cookery with Silvia Todesco,

Numerology with Annette Rochelle Aben

The Health Column with Sally Cronin

The Cafe and Bookstore has approximately 160 to 200 active authors at any one time. I have two opportunities to promote books. First with a New Book on the Shelves for new releases, and secondly with the twice weekly Cafe Author Updates where I share recent reviews.  I also post my own reviews for books that I have read once or twice a month.

If you are not currently an author in the Cafe.. then here is the information you need: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-free-author-promotion/

Posts for Your Archives is a series that has been running for the last three years to promote bloggers as well as authors. The aim is to showcase the blogger or author and encourage more traffic to their own blogs.

In the current series there is a twist. Instead of the blogger sending in four links to posts to share, I am browsing their archives and selecting four posts. The response has been amazing and there are currently 55 bloggers who have signed up. As you can imagine I am doing a lot of reading, and uncovering some gems from the years that deserve to be showcased again.

If you are interested on being added to the list you will find the details here: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

Guest Writers are slightly different to the posts from the archives, in as much as they contribute on a regular basis on a number of subjects including memoirs, short stories, health and poetry. If you are interested in a regular monthly slot then please contact me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com

I would like to add a note here which is based on my experience over the last seven years of promoting books and blogging.

One of the key elements to any promotion is participation…I notice the difference in both the Cafe promotions and the Posts from the Archives if the person being promoted is active in both commenting and sharing.

For example – In the Posts from the Archives series, when the comments are responded to individually, the number of likes, comments and shares (importantly) increase over the four posts.

The same applies for the book promotions, and this is key, as it relates to sales of a book, as well as readers engaging on social media, following blogs and buying other books that the author has released. If a reader has taken the time to comment on a post then it is important that it is acknowledged individually. It does make a difference.

I also would like to admit that I don’t follow the usual rules about blogging. I will post several times a day, varied content, from contributors and guests plus the regular funnies and videos. I appreciate that if you sign up to be notified about posts, your email will be inundated.

Which is why I do this round up each week, so that you can pop in and read the posts that most interest you.

You can sign up to be notified weekly if you wish but my advice is:

Don’t Sign Up to be Notified…just remember to pop in on Sundays to catch up… that would be lovely.

Now on to the posts that you might have missed during the week.

Thomas the Rhymer

Another post from my archives from Paul Andruss… who shares the shenanigans of the royal court in the reign of Charles II…

Barbara Villiers (National Portrait Gallery)

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/07/smorgasbord-posts-from-my-archives-barbara-villiers-part-1-the-return-of-the-king-by-paul-andruss/

This month Debby Gies takes us to the island of Cuba in the Caribbean. And island that was blocked off to the outside world and has been through many challenging years. Find out about the history and the tourism to the island.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/03/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-travel-column-with-d-g-kaye-the-island-of-cuba/

Winter: Chapter Two – The Messengers of Peace and Desperation and the Storyteller

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-winter-the-messengers-of-peace-and-desperation-and-the-storyteller-by-sally-cronin/

Winter: Chapter Three – A Place of Sanctuary

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/09/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-chapter-three-winter-a-place-of-sanctuary-by-sally-cronin/

The second in the series on the brain and how we can reduce our risk of developing dementia, and it is never too late to begin.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/smorgasbord-health-column-top-to-toe-the-brain-the-brain-dementia-and-alzheimers-disease-by-sally-cronin/

My review for Swimming for Profit and Pleasure: The Port Naain Intelligencer by Jim Webster.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-book-reviews-swimming-for-profit-and-pleasure-the-port-naain-intelligencer-by-jim-webster/

My response to this week’s Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge by Charli Mills The prompt is about ‘making a big splash…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/smorgasbord-short-stories-carrot-ranch-flash-fiction-a-splashing-good-time-by-sally-cronin/

Joy Lennick with another of her entertaining stories (based on true events) of a date to the cinema with rather an unusual ending….

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/05/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-joy-lennick-a-date-in-the-forties/

This week Sherri Matthews shares holiday memories of picnics and windy beaches in the UK and taking the Cuppa to California…

The Wicker Picner Hamper (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-sherri-matthews-memoir-the-great-british-staycation-and-a-brew-up-california-style/

This week Susanne Swanson takes us on a tour of her first visit to Hawaii..

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-hawaii-the-beginnings-by-susanne-swanson/

John Rieber shares a unique experience in a hotel in Africa… meet some giraffes.

GIRAFFE-MANOR

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/03/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-travel-an-amazing-giraffe-hotel-africas-most-incredible-safari-adventures-by-john-rieber/

Writing duo Helen and Lorri Carpenter offer guest spots and here is one by Lainee Cole talking about the wonderful combination of rescue dog and children helping each other.

Image source: HiDee Ekstrom

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/03/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-shelter-dogs-and-children-helping-each-other-guest-post-by-lainee-cole-hl-carpenter/

Marian Wood shares her reasons for blogging..and a guide for those who are just getting started..

So really why write a blog

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-what-is-the-point-of-writing-a-blog-why-do-i-do-it-by-marian-wood/

Enjoy the poetry of Frank Prem about a project he undertook in his garden…

Friends 1

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-poetry-trenchman-1-the-trench-mans-tools-by-frank-prem/

Carol Taylor is on a short break so I have been sharing some posts from her archives..this one is on a subject dear to her heart… conservation and how governments can make decisions that do not have their countries environmental interests in mind.

Great barrier Reef

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/05/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-waste-not-want-not-australia-plans-to-dump-one-million-tons-of-sludge-on-the-great-barrier-reef-by-carol-taylor/

Tasker Dunham takes us back to his earliest memories and wonders at what age you experienced yours.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/05/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-memoir-gram-motherem-how-early-are-our-earliest-memories-by-tasker-dunham/

Lorinda J. Taylor shares the experiences of her mother as a teacher in the 1930s and living in the dust bowl…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/05/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-teaching-in-the-dust-bowl-1930s-by-lorinda-taylor/

A poignant and fascinating post from Olga Nunez Miret about her uncle who researched the little known family history during the Second World War.. tragic and inspiring.

Placa

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-family-stories-my-cousin-joan-molet-and-his-efforts-to-not-allow-the-memories-to-disappear-by-olga-nunez-miret/

Jennie Fitzkee shares another story from her pre-school classroom where the focus is very much on the child…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-how-to-teach-a-child-to-become-a-superhero-by-jennie-fitzkee/

Fraggle Photography with some wonderful images from a vintage fair…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/07/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-fraggle-report-druridge-bay-vintage-rally-fraggle-photography/

Elizabeth Slaughter shares an influence in her life from childhood and a role model – Meet Rusty.

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/07/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-rusty-triumphs-over-boogieman-by-elizabeth-slaughter/

Kim of By Hook or by Book with a tribute to teachers everywhere.

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-us-teacher-appreciation-week-2018-by-kim-of-by-hook-or-by-book/

Gibson Square… a London Cabbie gives us the low down on what is cab and what is not..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-what-is-a-cab-and-whats-not-by-gibson-square-the-cabbie-blog/

Susanne Swanson with a memory from her childhood when a little bribery went a long way…

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/09/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-seattle-a-shrimp-story-by-susanne-swanson/

Balroop Singh shines the light on the issue of domestic violence. However, enlightened and empowered we think our modern society is.. this is still a major problem and in some countries it is the norm.

Domestic Violence

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/09/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-can-women-escape-domestic-violence-an-emotional-approachby-balroop-singh/

 

New book on the shelves

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-psychological-thriller-hope-by-terry-tyler/

Author Update #Reviews

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/03/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-brigid-p-gallagher-james-j-cudney-diana-j-febry-and-ted-halstead/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/07/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-robbie-and-michael-cheadle-toni-pike-and-jan-sikes/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-a-joke-from-sallys-archives-5/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-a-joke-from-sallys-archives-6/

Thank you again for taking the time to drop by and I hope that in one way or another you will share your work here with everyone by being a guest, promoting your books or letting me share your archives. Thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives.


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now something from my archives.. The Pilot’s “Gripe Sheet”….

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what they’re for

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – The Weekly Round Up.. Gems from your Archives, Universal Energy and All That Jazz


Welcome to the round up of posts here on Smorgasbord that you might have missed…

The week has been unremarkable here except for the fact that it is June and it has not stopped raining for a week, with at least another week to go… and the heating is still on twice a day. This has not helped the work in the back garden which requires a couple of days of dry weather to put down gravel and then cement…

I am officially banning all singing and dancing for the rest of the summer… see what happens when this dance academy puts on a show and perform ‘Singing in the Rain’  I rest my case!. Thanks Lucinda Armstrong

There is nothing more to say… except let’s get on with the week’s posts..thank you for dropping in and also a huge thanks to those who have contributed this week.

A reminder of the new Sunday Interview series beginning at the end of June…I am already receiving some terrific pieces about our senses…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/23/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-new-sunday-interview-series-human-in-every-sense-of-the-word-starting-sunday-june-30th-2019/

This week William Price King introduces us to a contemporary artist.. Hiromi Uehara Jazz Composer and Pianist.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/28/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-with-william-price-king-hiromi-uehara-jazz-composer-and-pianist/

Two more posts from Paul Andruss...and the first is about a drink with an ancient history.. Mead. Poetic Mead

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-poetic-mead-by-paul-andruss/

Coffee a Noxious Concoction.. for coffee lovers everywhere..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/smorgasbord-posts-from-my-archives-smorgasbord-writer-in-residence-coffee-a-noxious-concoction-by-paul-andruss/

This weekend I begin the serialisation of Tales from the Irish Garden... and in the first post a reminder of how the story left off in the previous book.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-previously-in-the-magic-garden-by-sally-cronin/

Chapter One..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/tales-from-the-irish-garden-serialisation-winter-christmas-under-the-magnolia-tree-by-sally-cronin/

Annette Rochelle Aben takes us through the universal energy we can expect in June….

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/31/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-numerology-your-universal-energy-for-june-2019-by-annette-rochelle-aben/

Sherri Matthews joins us for a series of four memoir posts. In her first post.. a little nostalgia about her first meal out with her Dad.

We didn't eat out as kids, but we did enjoy family gatherings, such as this tea party for a cousin. Me on the right. Always the kid with chocolate on my face. Nothing's changed... (c) Sherri Matthews

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/30/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-writer-sherri-matthews-memoir-times-past-challenge-chinese-spoons-and-eating-out/

This week the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge by Charli Mills  prompt was strawberries and mint… here is my story – The Devilish Mojito…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/smorgasbord-short-stories-the-carrot-ranch-flash-fiction-challenge-strawberries-and-mint-the-devilish-mojito-by-sally-cronin-by-sally-cronin/

Welcome to the series  Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience.

If you would like to know how it works here is the original post: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-newseries-pot-luck-and-do-you-trust-me/

Robbie Cheadle writes for both children and adults, but clearly children’s books are very dear to her heart… here is a post that demonstrates that. The Life of Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl

Photograph from The Official Roald Dahl Website

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/27/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-kidsbooks-the-life-of-roald-dahl-by-robbie-cheadle/

Jacquie Biggar with a recipe that brings back memories..also a link to a festive cookbook that looks great.

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/27/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potlucksunday-recipes-baking-up-memories-by-jacquie-biggar/

Financial expert Sharon Marchisello explains the need to identify your tolerance risk when investing.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-finance-investment-know-your-tolerance-for-risk-by-sharon-marchisello/

Diana Wallace Peach treats us to a wonderful short story.. The Optometrist and the Dragon

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/28/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-the-optometrist-and-the-dragon-writephoto-by-d-wallace-peach/

Carol Taylor is on a short break so I took the opportunity to delve into her archives to find some gems to share with you.. in this post a secret garden…

Koh Samui The Secret Garden

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-travel-thailandkoh-samuia-secret-garden-by-carol-taylor/

This is the final post from Beetley Pete also known as Pete Johnson who blogs from Norfolk…I could not leave the archives without sharing a post about Ollie.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-dogs-ollie-and-his-guests-by-beetley-pete/

An inspiring poem from Miriam Hurdle – The Sun Welcomes Me…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-poetry-the-sun-welcomes-me-by-miriam-hurdle/

Pre-school teacher of over 30 years, Jennie Fitzkee, has been a welcome guest here many times but this time, Jennie has let me loose in her archives… this will be fun. She is always coming up with creative ways to engage the children.. and here is just one. The Stop Game”, From Dinosaurs to Poetry

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/30/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-the-stop-game-from-dinosaurs-to-poetry-by-jennie-fitzkee/

Olga Nunez Miret gives us a guided tour through her hometown of Barcelona

It was cloudy in the morning but it improved

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/30/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-la-merce-in-barcelona-and-a-few-visits-hospital-de-sant-pau-and-palacete-albeniz-by-olga-nunez-miret/

A new participant to the series with some lovely photographs of wetland wildlife and a cute grandson.. Fraggle Photography.

runaways

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/31/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-the-wetlands-report-part-1-fraggle-photography/

Another new participant.. Elizabeth Slaughter with a memory that could have ended very differently.

1948-50s 376

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/31/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-timber-r-r-r-r-by-elizabeth-slaughter/

Kim of By Hook or By Book is a book reviewer and here is an example.

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-ya-scream-all-night-by-derek-milman-reviewed-by-kim-of-by-hook-or-by-book

Gibson Square (pen name) writes The Cabbie Blog and over the next four weeks I will be sharing trivia and little known facts about London.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-london-trivia-gibson-square-the-cabbie-blog/

Susanne Swanson shares her trip to Hawaii.. with some lovely photographs.

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https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-hawaii-the-beginnings-by-susanne-swanson/

Balroop Singh shares the therapeutic benefits of music…. I won’t argue with that… cannot imagine my life without it.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-potluck-have-you-felt-the-emotional-and-therapeutic-appeal-of-music-by-balroop-singh/

New Book on the Shelves

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/28/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-historicalirishfiction-mahoney-by-andrew-joyce/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-death-in-shangri-la-a-dotan-naor-thriller-by-yigal-zur/

Author Update: Reviews

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/27/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-chuck-jackson-karen-ingalls-and-allan-hudson/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/31/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-s-a-harris-geoff-le-pard-john-w-howell-and-gwen-plano/

The second post in the series on the brain.. and how it develops from conception through life.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/30/smorgasbord-health-column-top-to-toe-the-brain-how-the-brain-develops-from-conception-through-life-by-sally-cronin/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/28/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-how-to-deal-with-clowns-and-chocolate-and-a-joke-or-two-from-the-archives/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2019/05/30/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-some-jokes-from-sallys-archives-guest-comedian-d-g-kaye-and-some-jokes-from-sallys-archives/

Thank you so much for dropping in today and for all the support… I am just off to do my shopping…Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines -Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and some Jokes from Sally’s Archives.


First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And now something from my archives..

A wise veterinarian

The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. So the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Sicily. It was absolutely wonderful. It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they’d never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the local veterinarian, Dr. Santucchi, who was very wise, to tell him what was happening and to ask his advice.

“Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side.”

The veterinarian rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, “Did you by chance, buy this cow in Sicily?”

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Sicily.

“You are truly a wise veterinarian,” they said. “How did you know that we got the cow from Sicily?”

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eyes and says, “My wife is from Sicily.”

Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – How to deal with clowns and chocolate…and a joke or two from the archives.


And now for a joke or two from the archives….on the subject of drinking…

The police were ordered to clean up the neighbourhood and their job was made easier when a drunk staggered up to a sergeant and said “Escuse me offisher, what time is it?”

The cop replied “One o’clock,” and hit him once over the head with his baton.

“Blimey,” said the drunk holding his head, “I’m glad I didn’t ask you an hour ago.”

*****

After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host’s party, the wife looks at him and says, “Aren’t you embarrassed to keep going back for more?”

Husband says, “Nope. I Keep telling them it’s for you!”

******

Stumbling onto the bus just as it was leaving the drunk staggered down the aisle, hit a passenger in the face with his elbow and knocked over a bag of shopping. He dropped into a seat next to a sour-faced woman who took one whiff of his beery breath and wagged her finger in his face.

“You, young man, are going straight to hell.”

He struggled to his feet, “don’t tell me I’m on the wrong bus again!”

Please drink responsibly but feel free to eat as much chocolate as you like… This is a Public Service message…thanks for dropping in…Sally