Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Lost in Translation – Sometimes Advertisers Bloop


Sometimes the marketing department of the largest companies go off half cooked!  Here are some epic foreign product launch fails.. and some accidental translations!

The American Dairy Association was so successful with its “Got Milk?” campaign, that it was decided to extend the ads to Mexico. Unfortunately, the Spanish translation was “Are you lactating?”

Electrolux, a Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer, used this ad in the U.S.: “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”

Coors put its slogan, “Turn it loose,” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”

Chicken magnate Frank Perdue’s line, “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken,” sounds much more interesting in Spanish: “It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate.”

Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name “Pavian” to suggest French chic…but “pavian” means “baboon” in German.

A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the “Mist Stick”, a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.

When Kentucky Fried Chicken entered the Chinese market, to their horror they discovered that their slogan “finger lickin’ good” came out as “eat your fingers off.”

Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink, “Avoid Embarrassment – Use Quink” into Spanish as “Evite Embarazos – Use Quink”…which also means, “Avoid Pregnancy – Use Quink.”

When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, “Pepsi Brings You Back to Life” pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, “Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave.”

In Italy, a campaign for “Schweppes Tonic Water” translated the name into the much less thirst quenching “Schweppes Toilet Water.”

Chinese translation proved difficult for Coke, which took two tries to get it right. They first tried Ke-kou-ke-la because when pronounced it sounded roughly like Coca-Cola. It wasn’t until after thousands of signs had been printed that they discovered that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax,” depending on the dialect. Second time around things worked out much better. After researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke came up with “ko-kou-ko-le” which translates roughly to the much more appropriate “happiness in the mouth.”

The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. “No va” means “it doesn’t go” in Spanish.

Ford introduced the Pinto in Brazil. After watching sales go nowhere, the company learned that “Pinto” is Brazilian slang for “tiny male genitals.” Ford pried the nameplates off all of the cars and substituted them with “Corcel” which means horse.

When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA – with the cute baby on the label. Later, they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what’s inside since most people can’t read.

In the French part of Canada, Hunt-Wesson introduced its “Big John” products as “Gros Jos.” It later found out that the phrase is slang for “big breasts.”

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope that you are leaving with a smile on your face..thanks Sally

 

Advertisements

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – English like what it is spoke!


You often hear people say that they could never learn a foreign language… but the English Language is one of the most difficult to get to grips with.. it sometimes has no rhyme or reason.

Some reasons why foreigners find English confusing.

We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

And some interesting Anagrams

Dormitory – Dirty Room

Desperation – A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code – Here Come Dots

Slot Machines – Cash Lost in ’em

Animosity – Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms – Alas! No More Z’s

Alec Guinness – Genuine Class

Semolina – Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries – Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point – I’m a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes – That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one

Contradiction – Accord not in it

And a real corker: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

I hope that you have enjoyed today’s linguistics…. please feel free to pass them on…Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Funny Cats and a Joke.. Part Two


And here is the joke…..

In front of the local butcher’s, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector’s item.

He strolled into the store and offered two pounds for the cat. ‘He’s not for sale’, said the butcher.

‘Look’, said the collector’, that cat is dirty and scabby, but I’m an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I’ll raise my offer to ten pounds’. ‘It’s a deal’, said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately.

‘For that amount of money I’m sure you won’t mind throwing in the saucer’, said the connoisseur’, ‘The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.’

‘I can’t do that’, said the butcher firmly, ‘That’s my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I’ve sold 18 cats.’

Thanks for popping in and I hope you are popping out smiling… Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Funny Cats and a Joke…..


I am not unaware that last week I focused on the canines in our families.. This week I will redress the balance and feature those lovable and sometimes confucious cats!

The Hypnocat

And now for the cat joke……

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, “What can your cat do?” The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave….

Thanks for popping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face….Sally

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Book Launch, Birch Maidens, Sausages and Spies by the Sea..


Welcome to the weekly round up and for me it has been an exciting week with the launch of my latest book. And also from a renovation perspective…the weather stayed dry enough for David to paint the outside wall of our garden facing the road. The lawn goes down this week and work will begin on the back patio… it has been two and a half years, so you can see why this is a watershed moment.

I know we are only just into October but I have been making plans for the Christmas promotions starting November 12th.. Primarily to make sure that every author in the Cafe and Bookstore is included, and to that end if you are not in the Cafe and Bookstore yet… here is a post to get you started.  Also if you are in the Cafe already, please let me know if you have a book out in the next few weeks so I can set up your New on the Shelves promotion.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/05/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-free-book-promotion-have-you-a-new-book-available-before-christmas/

As always I am very grateful for the amazing contributions of talented writers who spend time and a great deal of effort to put together posts for us.

Paul Andruss is on a sabbatical at the moment so I am sharing some of his earlier posts from 2017 for you to enjoy. The Birch Maiden is a wonderful legend, and in this post she is brought alive by the illustration by Donata Zawadzka who is the illustrator for my latest book.

picture1

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/05/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-rewind-writer-in-residence-the-birch-maiden-by-paul-andruss/

Last week Carol Taylor identified some of the unexpected ingredients to be found in some brands off hotdogs. So that you don’t go off the delights of sausages totally, this week she gives us the recipe and spices to make our own.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-food-and-cookery-column-with-carol-taylor-homemade-sausages-and-spice-mixes/

Delighted that Jessica Norrie is back with us after the summer break with a post on novels from 1903 to the present day, which feature spies and criminals in a coastal setting. Some classics from authors such as Agatha Christie, Erskine Childers, Graham Greene and in a modern vein…Ian McQuire.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-literary-column-with-jessica-norrie-coasting-with-spies-and-criminals-1903-2018/

Linda Bethea shares the last of her Mixed Nuts family stories… and the good news is that we will see Linda here on a more regular basis as a guest writer.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-mixed-nuts-part-3-by-linda-bethea/

Esme gave us her predictions for the coming month….

Hi everyone and I hope you are looking forward to the month ahead. One of the main events, is that Venus is retrograde from this week until mid-November. People assume this means that love is going to fly out of the window… but in fact, what it does, is highlight areas of your relationships that could use some TLC.

October for me is an interesting month, in that I find it a ‘buffer’ month, between late summer, early autumn and winter in the Northern Hemisphere and spring and early summer for the heat of high Summer in the Southern Hemisphere.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-esmes-predictions-for-october-2018/

This week – what I was up to in 1985, music from Foreigner... and a request from Darlene Foster. This week 1986 and more requests.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-music-column-the-charts-1985-and-darlene-fosters-request/

A highlight for me….

This week was very special for me and my latest book was launched with some beautiful illustrations from Donata Zawadzka. I am very grateful to everyone for liking, reblogging and sharing across their social media. It was amazing and I cannot tell you how delighted I am by the response. I was also thrilled to find my first review for the book and that was wonderful. My thanks to Paul Andruss for creating a gif with the new cover and a selection of my other books which I share with you here and it includes some of the illustrations.

And the book’s first review

Appreciative reader 4.0 out of 5 stars Escape from the real world 6 October 2018

Fairy Queen Filigree moves her court from the dry Spanish plains to the Emerald Isle, where she and her courtiers soon need warm tweed clothing and fortifying amber nectar. But romance is on the cards to warm things up too. If you want a gently paced read full of enchanting detail, soothe yourself in the author’s carefully imagined world of fairy feasts, storytellers and ever so slightly petulant princesses. Like going back to childhood… This isn’t my usual thing but made a welcome change from real life – and there are some beautiful illustrations too.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/booklaunch-tales-from-the-irish-garden-by-sally-cronin/

Other personal ‘stuff’

I responded to Colleen Chesebro’s Tuesday Poetry Challenge with a haiku.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/04/smorgasbord-poetry-haiku-colleen-chesebro-tuesday-poetry-challenge-rose-hips/

This weekend’s short stories from What’s in a Name – meet Jane and Jack.

Jane – The Surprise

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-jane-the-surprise-by-sally-cronin/

Jack – A VIP Visitor

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/07/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-jack-a-vip-visitor-by-sally-cronin/

I am catching up with my reviews on the books that I have read over the summer… slowly but surely

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/smorgasbord-book-reviews-psychological-thriller-lies-by-t-m-logan/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/07/smorgasbord-book-reviews-the-glowing-pigs-snort-stories-of-atonement-tennessee-by-teagan-riordain-geneviene/

Part two of my interview with author Leslie Tate… childhood memories of jungles and monkey poop…

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/smorgasbord-magazine-reblog-part-two-of-my-interview-with-leslie-tate/

New books on the shelves this week.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-pre-order-offer-son-of-the-serpent-fantasy-angels-series-by-vashti-quiroz-vega/

Cafe Update – Reviews and News.

 

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-colleen-chesebro-jacqui-murray-and-sacha-black/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/05/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-covers-and-reviews-shehanne-moore-janet-gogerty-and-c-s-boyack/

If you are a regular visitor you will know that I consider Vitamin D to be one of the most essential nutrients for our health. More and more research is identifying new health conditions that improve with an increase in Vitamin D through absorption of our skin (Sunshine Vitamin) or in diet in combination with supplementation.

This article appeared last week which would suggest that migraine sufferers could decrease the number of attacks by supplementing with the vitamin.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/smorgasbord-health-column-nutrient-in-the-news-vitamin-d-could-reduce-number-of-migraine-attacks/

Starting to appear in the headlines across the media is news that following last year’s high death rates from the flu, and the ineffectiveness of the 2017 vaccine, a new maxi-strain format is going to be available this year.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/04/smorgasbord-health-health-in-the-news-flu-season-vaccination-alert-new-mega-vaccine-available-in-uk-and-boost-your-immune-system/

Humour and afternoon Videos

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-a-few-funnies-and-a-joke-or-two-its-a-dogs-life/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/04/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-its-a-dogs-life-funnies-and-a-joke/

A selection of blog posts each day that I have read and enjoyed. Sorry not to mention all that I have visited but I hope I have shared most on social media.

Debby Gies, Leslie Tate, Carol Taylor and Teagan Geneviene

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-meet-the-reviewers-monday-october-1st-2018-d-g-kaye-reviews-leslie-tate-carol-taylor-exposes-hot-dogs-and-teagan-geneviene-illuminates-the-1920s/

The Story Reading Ape, Claire Fullerton, Christy Birmingham and Jennie Fitzkee

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-tuesday-october-2nd-2018-the-story-reading-ape-with-claire-fullerton-christy-birmingham-40shealth-and-jennie-fitzkee-reading-preschool/

Sue Vincent, D.G. Kaye and Annette Rochelle Aben

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-wednesday-october-3rd-2018-sue-vincent-d-g-kaye-and-annette-rochelle-aben/

Charles E. Yallowitz, John W.Howell, Teri Polen, Mae Clair and Beaton Mabaso.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/04/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-thursday-september-4th-2018-charles-e-yallowitz-with-john-w-howell-teri-polen-with-mae-clair-and-beaton-mabaso-on-websites/

Jenny in Neverland, Pamela Wight and Noelle Granger.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/10/05/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-meet-the-reviewers-friday-october-5th-2018-jenny-in-neverland-onlinefriends-pamela-wight-shortstory-and-n-a-granger-review/

Thank you again for dropping in and your ongoing support… it is much appreciated.. Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – It’s a Dog’s Life funnies and a joke.


Burglary.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:

“Jesus is watching you.”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

“Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

“Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?” he asked.

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”

“Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”

“The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus,” the parrot replied.

Thanks for dropping by and hope you have enjoyed… Feel free to pass them on.. thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – A few funnies and a joke or two – It’s a Dog’s Life


For the next couple of laughter lines some reminders of why dogs are so much fun to have around….

Giving the dog a proper send off.

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”

Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”

Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Thanks for visiting and hope you have enjoyed…Feel free to pass it on.. Thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – New Look – Amazon Shenanigans and Great Guest Writers and Authors


Welcome to the weekly round up as the blog moves into its new look and also autumn posts. It has been a busy week for me as my latest book went through its final phases and those little snags appeared out of the woodwork… just in time before the official release next week.

Amazon has decided to throw a curve ball to authors in Ireland with regard to their print books. There is no separate site for Southern Ireland and it comes under the UK. Despite only ebooks and not print books being liable for VAT, Amazon have blocked Irish authors from selling unless they register for VAT. And that stock must be held in the UK to satisfy their delivery requirements of 3-5 days promise to the customer. Obviously, if we post a book from Ireland to the UK there might be a slightly longer delay, although most of mine arrive within 3 days.

The VAT threshold (compulsory VAT registration)

“A business must register for VAT if its taxable turnover for any consecutive 12-month period exceeds the VAT registration threshold. The current VAT registration threshold (from 1 April 2017) is £85,000 but this tends to increase every year”  https://startups.co.uk/when-do-you-need-to-register-for-vat/

I wish I was eligible.

There are benefits to being registered in that you can claim back VAT on services and products you have bought to produce your own product or service, but in the case of an author like myself…. that is a moot point.

So our seller account for books was blocked for print sales until we registered for VAT by Amazon. eBooks are not impacted because they already have VAT added and it is deducted at source. Crazy!!!

To be honest with post and packaging and the preference for eBooks when selling internationally, it was not worth the hassle. I sell more print copies face to face and events and also by direct one  to one contact. I am set up for most books on our publishing site direct to Paypal as well.

So I have taken my print books off Amazon and will focus on eBooks and doing more book events to sell hard copies. 

It strikes me that this is yet another attempt to discourage the small traders and it is not just authors, it is also those who buy and sell other products and services on Amazon from countries such as Ireland.

I am sharing this so that anyone else who might be faced with the same issue is forewarned. We are not the only ones facing the problem as the forums are filled with others in the same position.

Getting to Know You Sunday Interview.

I have one or two posts scheduled between now and Christmas, but it would be lovely to have more of you participate, as it is a great way to get your blog or books noticed. I will be starting a new themed interview series in the New Year.. but in the meantime it will be soon prime selling season for books and other creative work. Here are the details and also those who have already taken part, to give you an idea of how they look and the response they get.

Look forward to hearing from you: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/getting-to-know-you-sunday-interview-2018/

Anyway time to get on with this week’s posts that you might have missed.

The Music Column

A few changes to the line up whilst William Price King is making some changes to his computer system and schedule. This week I pick up my playlist in 1984 with music from Phil Collins and Queen.. along with my adventures that year.. I am looking for requests to add to the post each week so bring on the music you love.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/smorgasbord-music-column-new-features-for-autumn-request-show-and-sallys-playlist/

The Food and Cookery Column with Carol Taylor – Christmas Cakes and Puddings.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-the-food-and-cookery-column-with-carol-taylor-christmas-cakes-and-puddings/

Posts from Your Archives – Linda Bethea with Part Two of her Mixed Nuts family stories.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/24/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-mixed-nuts-part-2-by-linda-bethea/

Guest Writer – Rationing in World War II by Robbie Cheadle

Author Robbie Cheadle shares some of the hardships endured by the British people during World War II. Food was rationed but in fairness it did produce a generation of very creative cooks.   You can find out more and enjoy some recipes from that era when you buy  While the Bombs Fell which is written by Robbie Cheadle and her mother Elsie Hancy Eaton.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/27/smorgasbord-blog-magazine-guest-post-rationing-during-world-war-ii-by-robbie-cheadle/

Smorgasbord Health Column – Guest Writer

My guest this week writing for the health column is D.G. Kaye… Debby Gies. Debby has suffered from chronic intestinal disease for many years and has researched and devised a way to keep herself healthy without medication. It is all about the diet….

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/27/smorgasbord-health-column-guest-d-g-kaye-dietary-restrictions-consequences-and-the-eye-rollers/

Smorgasbord Short Stories – What’s in a Name?

Villagers are preparing for Halloween, but some are devastated by the loss of their cats. One villager decided to investigate. Meet Isobel… Hiding in Plain Sight.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-isobel-hiding-in-plain-sight-by-sally-cronin/

A young boy is taught valuable life lessons by his grandmother.. meet Ifan and the Black Sheep.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/30/smorgasbord-short-stories-whats-in-a-name-ifan-and-the-black-sheep-by-sally-cronin/

Smorgasbord Poetry – Haiku in response to Colleen Chesebro’s Poetry Challenge

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/smorgasbord-poetry-haiku-in-response-to-this-weeks-colleen-chesebro-poetry-challenge/

Smorgasbord Reblog

Allan Hudson shares his pick of six authors and their books and was thrilled to find What’s in a Name on the list..

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/28/smorgasbord-reblog-six-great-authors-six-great-books-by-allan-hudson/

And another post from Debby Gies who wrote a compelling article on the history and purpose behind the #MeToo movement.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/smorgasbord-reblog-metoo-the-right-to-be-heard-on-sexual-abuse-by-d-g-kaye/

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – New Book on the Shelves

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-on-the-shelves-dog-health-care-7-simple-ways-to-keep-your-dog-healthy-by-rachele-baker-dvm/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-new-book-on-the-shelves-shadowed-by-death-an-oliver-wright-ww-ii-mystery-oliver-wright-ww-ii-mystery-book-2-by-mary-adler/

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Author Updates.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/24/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-for-d-g-kaye-sally-cronin-and-don-massenzio/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/28/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-reviews-for-jacquie-biggar-paulette-mahurin-and-marina-osipova/

Smorgasbord Blogger Daily and Meet the #reviewers

Leslie Tate with me, Olga Nunez Miret, Sue Vincent with Sarah Brentyn

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/24/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-meet-the-reviewers-monday-24th-september-2018-leslie-tate-olga-nunez-miret-and-sue-vincent-with-sarah-brentyn/

Debby Gies, Robbie Cheadle and Frank Parker

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-meet-the-reviewers-tuesday-september-25th-2018-d-g-kaye-robbie-cheadle-and-frank-parker/

Geoff Le Pard, Chris Mullen and Cathy Ryan

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-wednesday-september-26th-2018-geoff-le-pard-chris-mullen-and-cathy-ryan/

Jina Bazzar for D. Wallace Peach, Darlene Foster for Mary Smith and Publishing with Audrey Driscoll.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/27/smorgasbord-blogger-daily-meet-the-reviewers-thursday-september-27th-2018-jina-bazzar-for-d-wallace-peach-darlene-foster-for-mary-smith-and-publishing-with-audrey-driscoll/

Humour – Laughter Lines

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-random-funnies-and-a-joke/

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/09/27/smorgasbord-laughter-lines-pharmacy-funnies-and-a-joke-or-two-for-your-health/

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Pharmacy funnies and a joke or two for your health!


And today’s joke department…..

A miracle drug is one that has now the same price as last year.

Birth Control Pills for every purpose.

An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”

The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”

Blood Sugar Levels

I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists’ high counter is located.

I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.

The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me? Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along.

He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it around.

Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, now, does that taste sweet to you?”

The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!”

I said, “Oh, thank God! That’s a real relief! My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!”

I can never go back to that CVS, but I really don’t care, because they aren’t very friendly there anymore

Hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks for visiting.. Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Random Funnies and a joke!


Watch out for ducks.

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We only have one rule here in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks!’

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and, although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St Peter chains them together and says, ‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall with long eyelashes and very muscular.

St Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’

The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…. Sally