Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – The Weekly Round Up – July 5th -11th 2020 – Josh Groban, Mango, Pigeons, Dublin 1944, Books, Health and Laughter


Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

It has been a very mixed week as far as the weather is concerned. However, I was in and out more times than a cat, grabbing the odd ten minutes of sunshine here and there. It can change in a second with rain in the back garden and sunshine still in the front. There are a lot worse places to live, particularly during a pandemic as it is easier to avoid 5 million people than it is 65 million. Especially when there is more rural space.

Apart from my daily ins and outs, I also had my first hair appointment this week. I go to a family owned hairdresser and they certainly have gone to a lot of trouble and expense to prepare the salon for clients. I was wearing my own mask, but had my temperature checked once I was allowed in. A young assistant was kept busy disinfecting chairs, basins and stations between customers, and we all wore disposable gowns and the same with the towels. Thank goodness that despite the rule about no tea or coffee, and no magazines, we could still chat and it was great to catch up with my stylist Sam and her experiences over the last four months.

It feels great to have some shape back into my hair and if I can bring myself to put on some makeup on the next sunny day, I might get a new profile photo done… don’t hold your breath on either event …!

Now to the week….

I am very aware that I don’t get around to as many blogs as I would like on a daily basis and as I plan to get down to finishing the new book I am writing in August.. I thought it would be a good time to get the new Posts from Your Archives up and running. With the added bonus that I get to browse your blog archives from the last six months and catch up on all your great posts.

Since this series began in January 2018 there have been over 900 Posts from Your Archives where bloggers have taken the opportunity to share posts to a new audience… mine.

The topics have ranged from travel, childhood, recipes, history and the most recent series was on any aspect about family.

In this series I will be sharing posts from the first six months of 2020

It is an opportunity to showcase your writing skill to my readers and also to share on my social media. Which combined is around the 46,000 mark. If you are an author your books will be mentioned too, along with their buy links and your other social media contacts.

So what is different about this series?

  • This time, rather than you send me two links to posts from your blog archives, all I need you to do is give me permission to dive in myself and find two posts to share here on Smorgasbord.
  • Rather than a set topic, I will select posts at random across a number of subjects from the first six months of 2020.
  • As I will be promoting your books as part of the post along with all your information and links so I will not be sharing direct marketing or self- promotional posts in the series.
  • If you are an author I am sure you will have a page on your blog with the details, and an ‘about page’ with your profile and social media links (always a good idea anyway). I will get everything that I need.
  • As a blogger I would assume that you have an ‘about page’ a profile photo and your links to social media.
  • Copyright is yours and I will ©Your name on every post… and you will be named as the author in the URL and subject line.
  • Previous participants are very welcome to take part again.

N.B – To get the maximum benefit from your archive posts, the only thing I ask is that you respond to comments individually.. thank you.

To show how your post will look when featured… please head over to the post with an example from the Friends and Family archive posts earlier in the year. Jacquie Biggar with the story of her grandson and his brave approach to his Type I diabetes.

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -#NewSeries August 2020- Pot Luck and Do You Trust Me??

William Price King is on his summer break which is a very busy time and his is offline, but I will be sharing some previous artists and every other week a Summer Music Festival… no mud, or portaloos…just good music. Some from William’s column and some from my own playlists. William sends his best wishes and apologises for not being able to respond to your comments.

This week Carol Taylor cooks up a storm as she showcases the letter ‘M’ in food and culinary terms…and there are plenty of books on show to overload your TBR’s

I am in the last three weeks of the series Meet the Authors in the Cafe and Bookstore and hopefully all your details will then be up to date… if you are in the cafe and have not yet been featured.. don’t worry everyone will be included..

The Music Column with William Price King – Josh Groban – Part Two

Carol Taylor – A – Z of Food – ‘M’ is for Mayonnaise, Mango, Mousse, Morels, Khao Neow Manuang and Marengo

Chapter Nine – The Boy, his Dog and a Fairy Princess

Geoff leaves Waterford for the bright lights of Dublin and the adventures of being a boarder with other lads of the infamous Mrs Keller….

The Colour of Life The Digs In Dublin 1944

A Haiku and some examples of my late father-in-law’s wonderful wood carving.

#Ireland Tree Stumps by Sally Cronin

Letters from America 1985-1987 – June 1985 – Photos from Disney Adventure, Alone in America, Television Fitness Classes

Project 101 – Resilience – The importance of a healthy gut (part one)

dandelion

The Medicine Woman’s Treasure Chest – Herbal Medicine -Dandelion

A Year in the Life of Leah Brand: A #Psychological Thriller by Lucinda E. Clarke

Colleen Chesebro’s weekly Tanka Challenge -#DoubleEtheree – The Visitor

#Fantasy – Jack Hughes & Thomas the Rhymer (Book 1) by Paul Andruss

#DarkHumour Someday Everything Will All Make Sense by Carol LaHines

#Dystopian – Acts of Convenience by Alex Craigie

#Fantasy – Soul Swallowers (The Shattered Sea Book 1) by D.Wallace Peach

#YAParanormalFantasy, Heather Kindt, #HistoricalMystery Amy M. Reade, #Children’s Janice Spina

#Contemporary Olga Nunez Miret, #Poetry Frank Prem, #Poetry Balroop Singh

#Romance Linda Bradley, #Fantasy Audrey Driscoll, #YAAdventure Darlene Foster.

#Shortstories Cathy Cade, #Historical Noelle Granger, #SouthernSaga Claire Fullerton

#YAFantasy Kevin Cooper, #Mystery Mary Anne Edwards, #Historical Apple Gidley

#Memoir Chuck Jackson, #Memoir Brigid Gallagher, #ShortStories Anne Goodwin

#1920s Elizabeth Gauffreau, #History Paul Edmondson, #Shortstories Karen Ingalls

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 7th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 9th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

Irish Weather The Musical with International guests presented by I.V.E Mildew… AKA Herself.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 9th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now time for some jokes from the archives from Sally.

Paternity

The old man was dying and he called his wife and family to his bedside. There were four sons – three fine, big boys and a scrawny one. He said to his wife in a weak voice, ‘Don’t lie to me now – I want to know the truth. The skinny boy – is he really mine?’

‘Oh, yes, dear,’ said his wife. ‘He really is – I give you my word of honour.’

The old man smiled and slipped away peacefully. With a sigh of relief the widow muttered, ‘Thank goodness he didn’t ask me about the other three!’

Memory Games – What was its name?

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me.”

“That’s great! What was the name of the clinic?” Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife. . .”Rose, what was the name of that clinic?”

Thank you for joining us today.. we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Debby and Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 7th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

And now time for a joke or two from my archives……

Say what?

Miss Smythe was miffed… Her pet a Chihuahua was consistently second in dog shows throughout the country… One day she decided to investigate by asking the judges why this was happening. It was explained to her that the true Chihuahua breed had smooth coats and her dog, despite being perfect in every other way, had a shaggy coat.

Miss Smythe decided to take action and popped into a local pharmacist to buy some hair remover.

The chemist handed her the latest product. ‘When you slap this on, it’s best to keep your arms up for two or three minutes,’ he said.

‘Oh it’s not for my underarms, it’s for my Chihuahua,’ she explained.

‘In that case,’ said the chemist, ‘don’t ride a bike for 30 minutes.’

And now a few one liners…..please add your level of groans in the comment section rated between 1 -10….

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning ‘Many’. and Tics, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.

Of all the blood groups,type Os make the most spelling mistakes..

When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don’t tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said the Finnegan.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 3rd 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today.

This was never going to end well!

A Welshman, an Englishman, and an Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running, they spotted a barn and ran inside.

Once inside they each hid in an old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious-looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said… ”Meow’.’

“Just cats,” he thought.

He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said… ”Woof’.’

“Just dogs,” he thought.

As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded the sack the Irishman said… ”Potatoes!”

Simple Maths

Sunderland, England.

The owner of a working men’s club along the coast was confused about paying a discounted invoice so he decided to ask his secretary for some arithmetical assistance.

He called her into his office and said, “Betty, you graduated at the University of Sunderland and I need some help. If I was to give you £20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Inventions.

I went to the Patent Office to register some of my camping inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, “A folding bottle.”

She said, “Okay, what do you call it?”

“A Fottle.”

“What else do you have?”

“I have also invented a folding carton.”

Again she said, “what do you call it?”

“A Farton.”

She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products, and one of them sounds kind of crude.”

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Danny

A recent review for A Covenant of Spies on Goodreads

Daniel Kemp’s A Covenant Of Spies deals with British Intelligence investigating Russian operative.

I enjoyed the clever, complex tale featuring a net of lies and political cover-ups that made me think twice about the daily news headlines.

An entertaining story of 21st century spies and tales of the Cold War sprinkled with clues till the end, it reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”.

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK

And : Amazon US

Read more reviews and follow Daniel on : Goodreads

Connect to Daniel

Website: Author Danny Kemp
Facebook: Books by Daniel
Twitter: @danielkemp6

My thanks to Danny for letting me share his funnies…have a good weekend and thanks for dropping in..Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – July 2nd 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

And now time for a joke from my archives……

The crowds had been packing the traveling tent revival every night that week, grateful offerings filling the pockets of the evangelist. Cure after cure was enacted in the sweltering heat of those July evenings. Emotions were at an all time high on the last night as the last two afflicted souls reached the evangelist at the front of the tent.

Struggling up the steps on her crutches poor Mrs. Smith hobbled up to the evangelist. “Heal me! I haven’t been able to walk without crutches in twenty years.”

“Yes, Sister! You will be healed! Go behind that curtain and wait with the others waiting for healing.” Mrs. Smith slowly and painfully made her way behind the curtain.

Johnny Jones was the last in line. “I have a lifth. It hath made my life awful. Pleath heal me of my lifth!”

“Yes, Brother! You will be healed! Go behind the curtain with all the others and you will all be healed at once.”

The evangelist offered up a long, heartfelt prayer for healing. Weeping could be heard all over the tent. Finally, he concluded, calling out dramatically. “Mrs. Smith, you haven’t been able to walk without crutches for twenty years, have you?”

“No, Lord!” she replied from behind the curtain.

“You are healed! Throw your right crutch over the curtain.” Her right crutch flew over the curtain and clattered on the floor. “Now throw your left crutch over the curtain.” The left crutch followed.

Thunderous “Amens!” echoed all over the tent.

“Johnny Jones, you are healed of your lisp. Call out to us in a loud, clear voice so all can hear!” demanded the evangelist!

“Mithuth Thmith just fell on her ath!”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 30th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Apparently there will be no drinks service aboard flights following the pandemic…..

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally…

Ancient Mummy discovered..

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious museum.

“I’ve just found a 3,000 year old mummy,” said the archaeologist. “It’s a man who died of heart failure.”

“Bring it in,” said the curator. “We’ll check it out.”

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were exactly right about the mummy’s age and cause of death,” he said. “How in the world did you know?”

“Easy,” the archaeologist replied. “He was holding a piece of papyrus that said ‘10,000 shekels on Goliath.’

Apples vs. Chocolate Chip Cookies

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note: ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

A wife’s opinion.

Two men are discussing what their wives think about them. The first man says. ‘My wife thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house.’

The second man says. ‘That’s nothing, My wife thinks I’m a God.’

‘She thinks your a god?’ replies the first man.’ What makes you say that?’

‘It’s obvious. Every night when I get home she places a burnt offering in front of me!’

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up 21st -27th June 2020 – Josh Groban, Lemon Meringue Pie, #Ireland, Book Reviews, Authors and Humour


Welcome to the weekly round up with posts that you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

I hope you are all well as we peel back the layers of re-entry into the world again. Some are getting on better than others, and I can understand why the younger generation wants to dive back into the deep end of the pool.. but I think I will potter around in the shallows for a little while longer.

I am delighted that my hairdresser has finished the re-opening preparations, and they rang without prompting to ask if I needed an appointment.. David has done a great job with his clippers at the back, but the front that I have attended to, looks a little ragged around the edges. You can’t do it when wearing glasses very easily so took those off… not a good move… so it was a bit hit and miss with the scissors and I think I might have accidentally removed half an eyebrow too!.

Anyway…July 7th I will have it all cut back and aim for a quick visit every six weeks… with no magazines, a cup of coffee and no chit chat behind our masks it will not be quite the relaxing treat it used to be. It will be a while before the longer appointments for colour, highlights and extensions are reinstated but thankfully I use a silver rinse once a week at home and I am done…

The weather has been a mixture of very hot days, thundery nights, and now rain for the next five days. At least the lawn and the pot plants appreciate it. I have loved sitting outside with books and music and I am hoping that after this few days summer will return… one can only hope.

In the last couple of weeks I have been a guest on some friend’s blogs and if you have time to pop over and read and share that would be amazing.

Last week I was the guest of Marjorie Mallon as part of her series on poetry and thoughts of writers in isolation. She kindly share a recent poem of mine and my views on our lives going forward, particularly those of the younger children, those waiting for treatment for life threatening diseases and the elderly. Marje will be releasing an anthology of her own stories and poetry as well as her guests thoughts on the pandemic soon.

Photo by Jordan Benton from Pexels

Sally Cronin: Lockdown #Poetry #Thoughts #Isolation #Writers

This week I was the guest of author Darlene Foster whose successful Amanda travel series has introduced children around the world to the joys of discovering new countries and cultures. I shared my experience as a ten year old, of travelling to South Africa and some of the adventures during our two year stay in Cape Town.

Special Guest, Sally Cronin: Travels as a Child

Time to get on with the posts from the week and my thanks to William Price King, Carol Taylor and Debby Gies for their contributions which are always a delight to share and clearly enjoyed. Also thanks to you for dropping by, commenting and sharing; it is much appreciated.

The Music Column with William Price King – Josh Groban – Part One

Carol Taylor – A – Z of Food – ‘L’ is for Lamb, Lavender, Lemon/ Lime Meringue Pie, Liquorice and Liver…

James the Landlord 1939

#Thriller – Five Stars – The Reckoning Squad by S. Burke

#Eagles – The Daredevil by Sally Cronin – Image Tofino Photography

Tales from the Garden Chapter Seven – Little Girl Lost

Chesebro’s weekly Tanka Challenge – #Butterfly Cinquain – Our Legacy

Letters from America 1985-1987 – #Texas weather, Suntans and Trivia Pursuit

#Acidity/Alkalinity pH Balance for Health Part Three and Music Therapy –

Food Therapy – Make the most of Summer – Homemade Fruit Salad and Smoothies

New Author on the Shelves – #RomanticComedy – Cogrill’s Mill by Jack Lindsey

#History – Great Spirit of Yosemite: The Story of Chief Tenaya by Paul Edmondson

#Murder #Mystery – Redlined: A Novel of Boston by Richard W. Wise

#Thriller Mark Bierman, #Mystery #Romance Lizzie Chantree, #Thriller John W. Howell

#Poetry Miriam Hurdle, #Memoir #Humour Andrew Joyce, #Memoir Marian Longenecker Beaman

#Memoir – Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye

#Poetry Frank Prem, #Fantasy Teagan Geneviene, #Humour #Mystery Mae Clair

Meet the Authors – #Mystery Barbara Silkstone, #Mystery Janet Gogerty, #Thriller Eloise De Sousa

#BritishHistory Mike Biles, #Thriller Suzanne Burke, #Doglovers Patty Fletcher

#PsychologicalThriller Lucinda E. Clarke, #Thriller John L. DeBoer, #War #Dogs Patricia Furstenberg

#Scifi #YA Heather Kindt, #Mystery Lizzie Chantree, #Scifi Jack Eason

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 23rd 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 25th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – TGI Friday – host Sally Cronin

Thank you so much for dropping by and I hope you have enjoyed your visit..look forward to seeing you again next week…thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – TGI Friday – host Sally Cronin


It has been one of those weeks when even the weather doesn’t know what is doing…90 degrees at lunchtime and violent thunderstorms for four hours during the night. This turmoil is reflected in the headlines, with computer equipment, global leadership,and relationships.

Thank goodness they can’t take away our sense of humour….

Thanks for dropping by today and I hope that you are leaving with a smile on your face.. enjoy the weekend..thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 25th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK    Blog: D.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

And now for a few words from Sally… more snippets from the archives.

  1. All the world’s a stage, but the play is badly cast.
  2. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
  3. Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
  4. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  5. .I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  6. .I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  7. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  8. The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it.
  9. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  10. No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
  11. Quoting one is plagiarism…quoting many is research.
  12. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
  13. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  14. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
  15. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
  16. You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
  17. I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.
  18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  19. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
  20. I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
  21. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  22. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for about a buck at the bowling alley.
  23. I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
  24. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Thank you for joining us today.. we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 23rd 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally… a few more Bad Dad Puns – and no doubt some groans

Why are SKELETONS so calm
Because nothing gets under their skin.
===
Want to hear a JOKE about cats
Just kitten!
===
I wanted to buy a pair of CAMOUFLAGE pants
but I couldn’t find them anywhere!
===
Why was the CAT asked to leave the COMPUTER store
He wouldn’t stop playing with the mouse.
===
What did the KANGAROO say when her baby was kidnapped
“Someone help me catch that pickpocket!”
===
Why don’t BANKS allow kangaroos to open accounts
Because their checks always bounce.
===
How do you play leapfrog with a PORCUPINE
Very carefully.
===
Why do OCEANS never go out of style
They’re always current.
===
One day I was in the park wondering why Frisbees get BIGGER . . .
and then it hit me.
===
What did the FISH say when he swam into a wall
“Dam.”
===
What do you call a BEE with a QUIET buzz
A mumblebee.

Some headlines in the papers from the 1990s….(they don’t seem to have improved much since!)

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendent.

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 years in Checkout Counter (I have been in stores like that)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.