Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – 22nd – 28th March 2020


How are you all doing? A tough week for every country as the virus takes its toll and family and friends around the world are being directly impacted.

We are officially on lock down here in Ireland from today until April 12th initially. No non-essential journeys unless to work, supermarket and medical appointments. All non-essential businesses such as hotels, cafes and restaurants, hair salons etc have been shut down for a couple of weeks now and I think that the current lock down has been timed over the Easter weekend to counteract any thoughts of heading off to the coast or other holiday destinations in the country. I went out early to stock up on fresh fruit and vegetables and everyone was being very respectful of safe distances and I was in and out in 20 minutes, including waiting for the shop to open.

The shelves were all stocked including toilet paper, and it was good to see the check out staff behind perspex, so important to keep them safe. As much as I admire the health care staff, who are amazing, it is the men and women who are turning up to work in our essential services every day and putting themselves at risk that also should be shown absolute courtesy and gratitude.

Here we have around 4,500 living in the area during the off season, but from Easter through to September this usually swells by many thousands more staying in mobile homes along the coast. Unfortunately many of the small businesses rely on this summer trade and will no longer be viable after this virus has passed. When you look at issues such as this on this level it is easy to see how our world on a global scale is going to be changed, possibly for many years.

I do think that on the upside, the majority of people are going to be a lot more self-aware with regard to health, personal space and the way they travel going forward. Perhaps for some it will mean a completely different perspective on priorities and what they can live without.

Anyway I do hope you are staying safe and staying indoors and have access to all the food you need and support. And with that in mind, I have created a new theme for Posts from Your Archives, focused on the family and friends who play such an important role in our lives. I hope you will read the post below and participate.

There is no doubt that during this current health crisis that is on a global scale, with many of us in long term lock down, it is our family and friends that we will be turning to for support. Even if, as in my case, my family are hundreds of miles away in the UK and we are only in touch by email and Skype. The online connection we have with family and friends around the world is very important, and I would personally be lost without it. Social media is also key at this time for helping to maintain connection during the isolation, particularly for those living on their own.

In this new series, I would love you to share your posts from the archives about your family and friends, and that can of course include the very important fur and feather family that provide so much comfort.

It might be historical posts about your family who I am sure in the past have had to show their own fortitude during hard times and conflict. It could be a tribute to parents or grandparents or children or grandchildren. How a pet has brought you joy and connection. Stories of your life over the years and your friendships that have supported and motivated you. In prose or poetry.

Find out more: New Series – Posts from Your Archives April 2020 – #Family and #Friends

Now on with the other posts from the week, and as always, my thanks to all the guests who have contributed and regular contributors who add so much to the blog.

Another two stories from the collection.

Walter – Lost and Alone

Xenia – Beloved

Letters from America A Texas Menace and Realtors.

Doglovers – My Name is Danny – #Doglovers – Tales from Danny the Dog assisted by Andrew Joyce.

Double Etheree – The Night Sky

Double Etheree – The Night Sky

Smorgasbord Health Column – Food Therapy – The pungent defenders Onions and Garlic

Shall We Dance from The King and I

Romance – Sunset Beach (Blue Haven Book 2) by Jacquie Biggar

Sir Chocolate and the icecream rainbow fairies square cover

Sir Chocolate and the Ice cream Rainbow Fairies story and cookbook by Robbie and Michael Cheadle

#Thriller Booms and Busts by Geoff Le Pard

Fantasy The Man Who Found Birds among the Stars, Part Seven: Fifth Island in the River: A Biographical Fiction by Lorinda J. Taylor

Mystery Eloise de Sousa, Afghanistan Patricia Furstenberg, Thriller Daniel Kemp

Memoir D.G. Kaye, Paranormal Roberta Eaton Cheadle, Romance Jeanine Lunsford

Mystery Stevie Turner, Fantasy Fiona Tarr, Memoir Pete Springer

short story Footprints by Jemima Pett

1.IMG_9631

50 Tree Stories by Miriam Hurdle

Oven Sheet Pan Crepes with Strawberry Rhubarb Compote

Recipe – Oven Sheet Pan Crepes by The Frugal Hausfrau

#Marriage – After You Say “I Do” by Cheryl Oreglia

Book Review by Kevin Cooper – Fawn by Nash Summers

More funnies from D. G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

More funnies from D. G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra…Keep Dancing

Thank you very much for dropping in during the week and leaving your comments, they are much enjoyed. I hope you will join me and my guests again next week and that you stay safe and well… hugs Sally

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Keep dancing, keep laughing.


My sister Diana in Portsmouth who is in lock down now except for trips to the grocery store, shared some humor sent by one of her friends.. proving that even those in their 70s (sorry 40s) still have a sense of humour…this is for everyone who is like us waiting it out.

The jokes have started!

Keep dancing and keep laughing…keep safe…hugs Sally.

 

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord –  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

The stress test

A business man enters a pub, sits at the bar, and orders a double whisky on the rocks. After he finishes his drink, he checks inside his shirt pocket then asks the barman for another double whisky. After he finishes that he checks inside his shirt pocket again before ordering another drink.

The bartender says, ‘Look buddy, I’ll pour you whisky all night long, but you gotta tell me why you keep looking inside your shirt pocket all the time.’

The customer replies, ‘I’m peeking at a photo of my wife and when she starts to look good then I know it’s time to go home.’

*****

Are you ready to have children?

The Mess Test

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave there all summer.

The Toy Test

Obtain a 55 gallon box of lego (or marbles). Have a friend spread the contents throughout the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream as it might wake a child if at night!

The Grocery Store Test.

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you to the supermarket. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The Dressing Test

Obtain one large, live, unhappy octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure all its arms stay inside.

Thank you for dropping by today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Debby and Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord –  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

A group of hunters on safari in Africa are in a forest and decide to split up and meet back at the clearing three hours later. It  was agreed that if any of them got lost, he would shoot three times into the air to alert the others.

About an hour later one member of the party found himself completely lost so, as arranged, he shot three times into the air. Nothing happened, so he shot three more times. Again nobody responded. ‘I hope someone comes soon,’ he muttered to himself, ‘I’ve nearly run out of arrows.’

*****

Two friends were chatting in a bar and one said, ‘No matter what kind of girl I bring home to meet my parents my mother disapproves of her.’

‘I’ll tell you wat to do,’ his friend said. ‘Find a girl just like your mother. She’s bound to like her.’

A week later the friends met again. ‘Did you do what I advised?’

‘Yes I did,’ replied his friend. ‘I found a girl who looked like my mother, talked like her and even dressed like her.’

‘So what happened when you took her home?’

‘My father hated her.’

*****

A very elderly lady phoned the fire brigade and told them her kitchen was on fire.

‘Right,’ said the fire chief, ‘How do we get there?’

‘Don’t you have your little red fire engine anymore?’ queried the old lady.

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Debby and Sally.

 

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – March 15th – 21st 2020 – Friendships, Sidney Bechet, Kenny Rogers, Irish Soda Bread, Reviews, books and funnies


Welcome to the weekly round up of posts that you might have missed this week on Smorgasbord.

There cannot be anyone left in the world, unless they live in remote areas without access to the Internet, that has not read all the news this week on the global pandemic.

There have been inspiring stories of those putting themselves in the path of the disease such as healthcare workers and those keeping groceries and medicines available… and the also stories of the panic buying and behaviour by some who feel their need should be put above others.

So, I am not going to comment on any of it further than to say that I hope that you are all safe, and if isolated you have family and friends who are buying your groceries and keeping in touch by phone, video links and email.

I know that it must be very challenging to have children at home full of energy, with the prospect for some of them to be off school until the end of the summer. I can recommend for the younger ones that you tune into Jennie Fitzkee’s stories on the Aqua Room channel on Youtube for some wonderful chapter books.

You can read more about it : A Jennie Story on Youtube

And here is the link to The Aqua Room where you will find Jennie’s stories plus other activities for younger children: The Aqua Room

As I mentioned here, if you are on your own or would like to chat then my email is sally.cronin@moyhill.com – Don’t feel that you are completely shut off from the world, as our community here on WordPress and social media is a way to keep connected.

Apart from writing my next books and the blog, I have been baking this week… I don’t want to take the bread off the shelves when it is in such high demand and it is only time that prevented me from making my own in the last few months.  I make Irish soda bread (also a great mix to make scones as well).. No yeast required and very easy to make, I have just updated my recipe. Irish Soda Bread or Scones

This week’s batch that will keep us going for a week at least.

I would also like to remind any authors in the Cafe and Bookstore that whilst your physical book launches are on hold, you can still have a new book promotions here and that will usually be shared by many other authors across their own networks.

All the details can be found here:Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Free Author Promotion

On a sad note the wonderful Kenny Rogers has died at age 81, of natural causes, after a full life. His songs have always been on my top ten list of country music hits and I love his collaboration with Dolly Parton for Islands in the Stream…So R.I.P Kenny, keep singing.

As always I am very grateful for those who take the time to write articles for the blog and also to you for dropping by and commenting and sharing…

This month D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies explores the complex area of friendships and how to keep them healthy.

D.G. Kaye – The Realm of Relationships – Keeping Friendships Healthy

William Price King – Sidney Bechet (1897 – 1959) – American jazz saxophonist, clarinetist, and composer

Family Saga The Memory by Judith Barrow

Two more stories from the collection

Usher – Taking things for granted.

Vanessa in a dilemma

This week for Colleen Chesebro Tanka Tuesday Poetry No 169 – Photoprompt we are treated to an image from Padre’s Ramblings to explore..I have written a Mirror Cinquain this week.

Colleen Chesebro Tanka Tuesday Poetry No 169 – Photoprompt

A re-run of my Letters from America from two years ago – 1985 and we go to Houston for two years. I wrote home every week during our stay and after my father’s death we found a file with all the letters kept safely, with a note for me to publish..

Letters From America 1985/1987 Arrival in Houston

Smorgasbord Food Therapy – Aubergines – Don’t forget to eat your purples

The Memory by Judith Barrow on Pre-Order

Mystery In Search of McDoogal by Mae Clair

#SteamPunk – The Sensaurum and the Lexis.: A Steampunk adventure. (The Orphan Detectives Book 1) by Richard Dee

Shortstory #Horses Satin and Cinders by Jan Sikes

Coming of Age Bette A. Stevens, Writing Jane Sturgeon, Post Apocalyptic Terry Tyler

Romance P.C. Zick, Fantasy D. Wallace Peach, Dog Lovers Sue Vincent

Historical Apple Gidley, Fantasy Jack Eason, Africa Ann Patras

30 Days Wild

The Garden Watch with Jemima Pett

The delayed rewards of teaching by Pete Springer

Old English Potted Cheese

Recipe Old English Potted Cheese by The Frugal Hausfrau

Ghana 1970s aerogram with additional stamp

Long lost friends – Brendan and the Shared House by Tasker Dunham

Memoir ‘Fire!’ and separate tables! by Joy Lennick

More funnies from D. G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

More funnies from D. G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

Thank you again for dropping in when you have so much more to occupy your minds and days right now. I hope you will join me again next week… Stay Save  Sally ♥

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

Speed limits

There was a man named Cletus that lived in a small town with only one traffic light. Cletus had saved up his money and bought a mo-ped. One day Cletus was at the light waiting for it to turn green when a shiny new Corvette convertible pulled up next to him. Cletus had never seen anything like this in his life. The Corvette had its top down so Cletus leans over the side of the car and starts checking out the interior. This annoys the driver of the vette so when the light turns green he steps on the gas, laying down rubber as he leaves the intersection. He gets up to 60mph when suddenly Cletus flies by him on his mo-ped.

The driver of the vette says to himself “This clown wants to race”. Shifting into 4th gear he steps on the gas again. He leaves Cletus in his dust as he gets up to 100mph. Then out of nowhere he sees Cletus coming up fast in his rear view mirror. He can’t believe it as Cletus flies by him again on his mo-ped. The driver of the vette shifts into 6th gear and floors it. He passes Cletus and gets up to 150mph! Once again, Cletus passes him like he’s standing still. Shocked, the driver of the vette pulls over to the side of the road. He hears gravel flying and brakes squalling as Cletus pulls up next to him.

The driver of the vette congratulates Cletus on winning the race and asks him what kind of an engine he has in his mo-ped. Puzzled Cletus replied “Race? I was just trying to get my suspenders off of your side-view mirror.”

The Three Sons

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back
together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. Remember how mom
enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. I sent her a
remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church
12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the
chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, mom sent a letter to each son. “Milton,” she wrote one son,
“the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the
whole house.”

“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the
time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “you have the good sense to
know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious.”

Thanks to Best Clean Jokes

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope we have brightened your day — Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book review

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on SmorgasbordD.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

A dog thinks: ‘Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me … THEY MUST BE GODS!’

A cat thinks: ‘Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me … I MUST BE A GOD!’

*****

A man rubbed a bottle and a genie came out, “OK the genie said what’s your wish” The man said “I want all ladies to love me”, and he turned into a bar of chocolate.

*****

A fellow walked into a bank in New York City asking for a loan for $4000 dollars. “Well, before we lend you the money we are going to need some kind of security” the bank teller said. “No problem” the man responded here are the keys to my car “you’ll see it, it’s a black Porsche parked in the back of the parking lot.”

A few weeks later the man returned to pay off his loan. While he was paying it up, along with the interest of $11 dollars, the manager came over, “sir, we are very happy to have you’re business, but if you don’t mind me asking, after you left we looked into you and found out that you are a millionaire, why would you need to borrow $4000 dollars?”

“Well, the fellow responded it’s quite simple, where else can I park my car for three weeks in New York for $11 dollars?”

*****

Barry and Hannah, an old married couple, are sitting on the couch watching TV. On the show they were speaking about how to prepare in case of death etc. “Honey,” says Barry, turning to his wife with a serious expression, “I want you to promise me, that if there ever comes a time that I am dependent on just machines and bottled fluid, that you will make sure to put an end to it.” “No problem hun,” said Hannah, and she promptly got up, turned off the TV, and poured his beer down the drain.

Thanks to Great Clean Jokes

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally…

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – March 8th – 14th 2020 – Elephant Ears, Crispy Chicken, Funny Girl, Music, Guests, Books and Humour


Welcome to the Smorgasbord weekly round up with posts that you might have missed.

A tough week for everyone and even more difficult if you have family and friends who might be in the middle of the worst infection rates of the Coronavirus pandemic. Whilst we have been used to being in an isolated environment and with only two of us to worry about, my heart goes out to young families coping with not only making sure they have food to put on the table and other essentials, but with the childcare dilemma that they have to manage.

I also think that the healthcare staff who are exposed to the virus on a daily basis and who are working extra shifts to care for those infected should be recognised as being angels. Many of them are being infected themselves, and being overworked and probably not taking care of themselves as much as they should, they are at far greater risk than we are.

Also the staff in the supermarkets and pharmacies that are open and serving thousands of customers going through the checkouts. They have recommended that people use contactless cards, but they have a limit which is not sufficient for most weekly shops.

The keypads of ATMs and card machines are potential contagion sites and I have been using a sticking plaster on my index finger that I use to type in my PIN number and then carefully disposing of it in the nearest bin.

When I do the one shop a week now I am wearing latex gloves and peeling them off after shopping. Obviously there is a great deal of hand washing following any kind of outside contact.

We are slightly behind the rest of Europe here in Ireland, with new cases everyday but most associated with travel, or close contact with others on their return. All the schools, colleges and nurseries are shut until March 29th, and large gatherings, such as the renowned St. Patrick Day parades have been cancelled.

I hope that wherever you are that you are safe, supported and if you are on your own or worried and need to chat then please reach out and email me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com… I may not physically be able to help, but very happy to support in anyway I can.

A note with regard to the Cafe and Bookstore…If you have a new book out in the next four weeks either on pre-order or available then please let me know. I am working a week ahead at the moment as I get on with my own projects, but I don’t want to miss helping launch your books.  All I need is the title of the book and the link on Amazon.

If you are new to the Cafe and Bookstore you will find all the details on how to get your FREE book promotion up and running: Cafe and Bookstore Free Author Promotion

Time to get on with the posts from the week…. I hope you enjoy.

Carol Taylor – A – Z of Food – ‘E’ for Egg Plant, Escargot, Elephant Ears and many more Eezee recipes and foods

Italian Cookery with Silvia Todesco – How to make crunchy Chicken Drumsticks

Romance – Marriage Unarranged by Ritu Bhathal

Another two stories from this collection

Sonia – In Search of Prince Charming

Theresa – The Checkout

Colleen Chesebro Tanka Tuesday Poetry No 168 – Shadorma – Memories

Butterfly Cinquain – Creatures of the Night – Sally Cronin

Don’t Rain on My Parade – Funny Girl

My Name is Danny – Tales from Danny the Dog – Andrew Joyce

Pre-Order for March 18th – Frozen Stiff Drink: A Kellan Ayrwick Cozy Mystery (Braxton Campus Mysteries Book 6) by James J. Cudney

Thriller Yigal Zur, War Romance Marina Osipova, Mystery Amy M. Reade

Family Christa Polkinhorn, Contemporary Jessica Norrie, Memoir J.E. Pinto

Paranormal Mae Clair, YA Darlene Foster, #Supernatural Don Massenzio

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Poetry Borrow My Place by Miriam Ivarson

Promoting Literacy – Pete Springer

Poetry – Earth and Sky by Balroop Singh

Chinese Style Tea Pot

A tale of Two Tea Pots by Tasker Dunham

Memoir – Another chapter from my life book: Dodgy Guests, Ms. Groves & ‘Dr. Strangeglove’ by Joy Lennick

Food Therapy – The Exotic Carrot

Book recommendation Claire Fullerton, Freelance Nicholas Rossis, Flash Fiction Charli Mills

IWD Willow Willers, Retirement Jim Borden, Colcannon New Vintage Kitchen

More funnies from D. G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally

On Friday due to a senior moment you got two videos for the price of one…..

Thank you so much for dropping in today.. stay safe and I hope you will pop in again next week. Thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord – New episode on Monday 16thD.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

*****

A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.” The mom texts him, “It’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister, love you too.”

*****

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your house?” and George said, “No,” and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Thanks to The laugh factory

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope we have brightened your day — Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.


Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies .  This takes real dedication as she is meant to be on vacation at the moment..

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book review

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on SmorgasbordD.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

More groan worthy one liners….or two or more liners!

A man asked his wife ‘On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate me as a husband?’

She said, ‘You know I am no good at fractions’.

*****

A guy goes into a bar and orders twelve shots of tequila and drinks them as fast as he can.

The bartender ask,’Why are you drinking so fast?’

The guy says, ‘You would be drinking fast if you had what I had!’

The bartender asks, ‘What do you have?’

The guy says, ’15 cents’.

*****

‘Waiter this lobster has only got one claw’

‘I expect he was in a fight sir.’

‘Well go away and  bring be back the winner.’

*****

Rubbish: The stuff you throw away.

Stuff: The rubbish you keep

*****

Procrastinators: The leaders of tomorrow.

*****

The only honest people in the world are small children and drunks

*****

How many seconds are there in an hour? About eight if you take my boyfriend to a buffet.

*****

I joined a self-help group for people who talk too much. It’s called On and On Anon.

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally…