Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 20th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Fatbits and Ducks.


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke from Sally.

Watch out for ducks!

Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time.
When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven:
don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a
duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes
St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly
man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
… very tall, dark hair, and muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you
for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. Debby and Sally.

 

 

 

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – 11th -17th October 2020 -Jazz, Elephant’s Ears, Pumpkin Flower Fritters and Rennaisance Festival


Welcome to the round up with posts that you might have missed during the week on Smorgasbord.

I hope that despite the increase in cases in most of our countries, you are staying safe. With politics and Covid-19 it is hard to find some good news headlines but tucked away you can find a gem or two.

Canadian Researchers Gave Homeless People $7500 Each And The Results Are So Uplifting

Challenging the stereotypes of homeless people in Canada, a research project from a Vancouver-based charitable organization found that simply giving money to homeless people isn’t as bad an idea as some people might think. Read more: Good News Network

New Fix-It Clinic is Using Zoom and Global Community to Help You Repair Items For Free

How many YouTube tutorials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One—if that many.

Fixit Clinic

But when you need to fix something that’s beyond your level of DIY expertise, with nearly a bazillion videos offering differing and sometimes conflicting repair advice, it can be hard to know where to turn—or, at least it was until the advent of Fixit Clinic Read more about this great initiative: The Good News Network

So if you need a bit of a lift and a change from the daily litany of pessimism head over to The Good News Network

On the home front the last couple of days I have been moving pot plants around, taking some around the back of the garden to see out the next few months and setting out the winter flowering plants. Not a very bright day but with rain coming in for the next ten days I took the opportunity to take some photographs…

Time to get on with the posts from the week….

William Price King with American Jazz drummer and bandleader Art Blakey

‘T’ for Tea and Toast, Turmeric, Tobasco, Tahini, Tamarind and Elephant’s Ears (it is a T)

how a pumpkin flower fritter looks like

Pumpkin Flowers Fritters: at the Pumpkin Patch

Life Changing Moments – I knew that there was a book inside me waiting to be written by Joyce Hampton

#Thriller – Skeleton Run by John L. DeBoer

#Afghatinstan #MilitaryDogs Patricia Furstenburg, #History #Tudors Tony Riches

My parent’s visit – Part Two – Rennaisance Festival, Anniversary Party and nearly lights out!

Poetry – In Remembrance – The War Poets – Rupert Brooke

Photograph by Cris Saur @crisaur

Pot Luck – Poetry Friday ~ Wild Fire by Vashti Quiroz-Vega

Milestones Along the Way – #Ireland #Waterford 1950s The Saga of Selby

Chapter Eleven – Favourite Walks in Ireland

#Free Book and Some of my Very Odd Jobs – Hotel Senior Receptionist

#Free Book and Some of my Very Odd Jobs – Hotel Assistant Manager

#Free Book and Some of my Very Odd Jobs -The Sheep Farm

#Reviews Dawn Doig, Emily-Jane Hills Orford and Wanda Luthman

#ParanormalThriller – This Last Chance by D.L. Finn

#Memoir Brigid P. Gallagher , #Sci-fi Richard Dee, #Mystery Diana J. Febry

#Pre-Historic Jacqui Murray, #Fantasy Deborah Jay, #Mystery Amy M. Reade

#Paranormal Marcia Meara, #Fantasy A. J. Alexander, #MurderMystery Jessica Norrie

Image wikipedia.

Medicine Woman’s Treasure Chest – Essential Oils and Aromatherapy – Bergamot essential oil

Omega 3s

The endocrine system and hormones Part Two

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Oct 13th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

October 15th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

October 16th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

Thank you very much for dropping and all your support, have a great weekend and I hope you will join me again next week.. thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – October 16th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary.

And a few jokes to send you on your way

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, ‘Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.’ She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, ‘These aren’t my boots.’ She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, ‘Why didn’t you say so? ‘ like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, ‘They’re my brother’s boots. My Mum made me wear ’em.’

Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, ‘Now, where are your mittens?’

He said, ‘I stuffed ’em in the toes of my boots.’

She will be eligible for parole in three years. Always TRY to remember patience is a virtue.

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter, flight for 4 people?! I’m still looking for 2 more people to join us. We leave early Saturday (October 17) morning from Glasgow and will fly to Loch Ness where we will have breakfast and then on a yacht for lunch.

Then we’ll do a flight to Ireland and returning to Loch Ness for dinner, then fly back home.
If interested please pm me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can’t go…

Jokes about work

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things.

I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

A recent review for The Widow’s Son

Kindle Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely One of the Best  Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2020

I cannot praise you enough on your style of writing, I have read volumes 1 and 2 of this series one after the others , stopping at the end beginning at the beginning no pause inbetween. This one the widows son first caught my attention with the title as I am a traveler from the East MM living in the Levant. Around the middle of this book to the ending you really out did yourself. Your plot looking at the long view of the world outstanding absolutely outstanding. One of the best stories i have read in a long time. Thank You. Steven

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 15th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now a joke or two from Sally

Allegedly from the Lonely Hearts column in ‘Ireland’s Own’ magazine of some years ago!!!

Grossly overweight Louth turfcutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel.

———————————————————————–

Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks replacement mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie. Thurles area.

———————————————————————–

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Glasgow Celtic football club and starting scraps on Patrick Street at three in the morning.

———————————————————————-

Bitter, disillusioned Kerryman lately rejected by long-time fiancé seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced b******ches.

———————————————————————–

Ginger-haired Galwegian trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

———————————————————————–

Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life’s beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential.

———————————————————————–

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters.

———————————————————————–

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady with big chest.

———————————————————————–

Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.

———————————————————————–

Attractive brunette, Macroom area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Jolenes Nightclub, Macroom, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who’s not afraid to cry for long nights spent comfort drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!

———————————————————————–

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.

———————————————————————-

Optimistic Mayo man 35, seeks blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin sister.

 

And on that note.. we hope that you are leaving with a smile on your face… thanks Sally and Debby.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 13th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Gummi Worms and Juggling


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now a joke or two from Sally

The Juggler

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” he asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.” “Well, show me,” the officer demanded, still a little unsure. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. Just then another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, “That’s it Maude. I’ve got to give up the drink! Just look at the sobriety test they’re giving now!!”

Egyptian Mummy

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious museum.

“I’ve just found a 3,000 year old mummy,” said the archaeologist. “It’s a man who died of heart failure.”

“Bring it in,” said the curator. “We’ll check it out.”

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were exactly right about the mummy’s age and cause of death,” he said. “How in the world did you know?”

“Easy,” the archaeologist replied. “He was holding a piece of papyrus that said ‘10,000 shekels on Goliath.’”

 

Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with smile on your face.. Sally and Debby

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra…Friday October 9th – Host Sally Cronin – What do you mean I can’t park here?


Welcome to the laughter lines extra with a few funnies to help get your weekend started…

And some driving jokes to finish things off…..

Lost in translation

An American couple are driving across Canada and they get lost while exploring the prairies. They see a farmer on the side of the road, so the husband pulls over.

“I’ll go ask him where the next town is,” he says as he gets out.

He walks up to the farmer and asks,

“Hey there, can you tell me what the next town is called so my wife and I can find it on our map?”

“Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.” the farmer says.

The man walks back to the car and gets in.

“Well honey, where do we go?” his wife asks.

“I don’t know,” the man says, “he doesn’t speak English.”

If it’s good enough for Samson

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test …… and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he’d make a deal with his son, “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car” The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”

The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”

The father responded, “Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I  hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 8th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Protests and Clean Plates


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now a joke from Sally –

How well does cold water clean?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.

He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather….are these
plates clean?

His grandfather replied…. those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks…so he asked again……are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says…..I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don’t ask me about it anymore!

Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, Grandfather’s dog started to growl and would not let him pass…. Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, Grandfather shouted, COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Sally and Debby

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 6th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Baked Beans and Magicians


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for some jokes from Sally –

The Debt

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”

The Magician

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show.

“Look, it’s not the same hat!” “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side.

They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.

After a week the parrot finally said, “Okay, I give up.

What’d you do with the boat?”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face..thanks Sally and Debby..

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – October 2nd 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp


Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from Facebook.. Where you will also see that he has had a spell in hospital for a long awaited operation. Despite that he still managed to rustle up some great gags for us. Speedy recovery Danny.

And to finish off

An elderly couple were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old Town after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered. They found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved “I love you, Sally”.

On their way back home, on Bridge Street, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand quid!

Jerry said,: “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said: “Finders keepers.”

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers, who were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?”

Sally said: “No.”
Jerry said: “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said: “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The police officers turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Jerry said: “Well when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said: “Let’s get out of here.”

Went to my GP this morning, I said I was having repeating dreams of building shops, restaurants, a cinema, and student accommodation on a plot of land. She said…
“I think you’re developing a complex”

A bloke walks into a pub, orders a treble whiskey, sits at the bar drinking it, and then says to the barman, ‘really, you shouldn’t have given me that with what I’ve got.’ The barman says, ‘What have you got?’ The bloke replied, ‘I’ve only got 5p!’

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.

He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
“Is this yours?” he asked.
She said, “Yes, could you bring it up?” and the man agreed.

On arrival, she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterward she said, “I’m about to have dinner. There’s plenty; would you like to join me?”

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, “I’ve had a marvellous evening. Would you like to stay the night?”

The man hesitated then said, “Do you act like this with every man you meet?”
“No,” she replied, “only those who catch my eye.”

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook page…..

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

A recent review for The Widow’s Son

Kindle Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely One of the Best  Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2020

I cannot praise you enough on your style of writing, I have read volumes 1 and 2 of this series one after the others , stopping at the end beginning at the beginning no pause inbetween. This one the widows son first caught my attention with the title as I am a traveler from the East MM living in the Levant. Around the middle of this book to the ending you really out did yourself. Your plot looking at the long view of the world outstanding absolutely outstanding. One of the best stories i have read in a long time. Thank You. Steven

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines -October 1st 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – More Doorbells and a Talking Dog


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for some jokes from Sally – with thanks to Duncan Allen.

Keep Smiling…

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trip to school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school, and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got in her car and drove along the route to her child’s school.

As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile.

Another and another were to follow quickly, each with the little girl stopping, looking up and smiling. Finally, the mother called over to her child and asked, What are you doing?

The child answered, Smiling. God just keeps taking pictures of me.

A Talking Dog

A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. He goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”

“I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. But, the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.”

“So, I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.”

“Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

The owner replies, “He’s such a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and I hope you have enjoyed the laughter… Sally and Debby.