Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – September 21st 2021 -Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Lessons and inflight service


First Debby Gies with some funnies she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest relationship column here on Smorgasbord: September 2021 – The Relationship with Ourselves -Self-Care

Now something from Sally

A helping hoof

A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car stalled inexplicably. He got out and raised the hood to see if he could find out what had happened. A brown and white cow slowly lumbered from the field she had been grazing in over to the car and stuck her head under the hood beside the man. After a moment the cow looked at the man and said, “Looks like a bad carburettor to me.” Then she walked back into the field and began grazing again.

Amazed, the man walked back to the farmhouse he had just passed, where he met a farmer. “Hey, mister, is that your cow in the field?” he asked. The farmer replied, “The brown and white one? Yep, that’s old Daisy.” The man then said, “Well my car’s broken down, and she just said, ‘Looks like a bad carburettor to me.’” The farmer shook his head and said, “Don’t mind old Daisy, son. She don’t know a thing about cars.”

Inflight service

On a long distance flight on British Airways to Australia a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would be back in five minutes for him. He was finished in two minutes and headed off by himself down one of the aisles in the opposite direction to where his mother was sitting.

In the meantime a business man entered the toilet and locked the door. After the five minutes were up, the mother went to the toilet and knocked on the door and called out, ‘Do you need a hand with your zipper?’

From behind the door, a startled male voice said, ‘Good heavens, that’s what I call service!’

 

I hope this has left you with a smile on your face and please feel free to pass it on…thanks Debby and Sally.

 

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 24th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Texts and Eye Tests


Welcome to laughter lines with some gems from Debby Gies who has been keeping an eye open for funnies online and some jokes from Sally.

    If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Mistaken Identity!

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says,

“Do you Know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that whispered sweet nothings in my ear and dragged me into the back room of the bar?”

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

Eye Test

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

“Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Alexa and Hell


Welcome to laughter lines with some gems Debby Gies has discovered online and a few bits of humour from Sally.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

For those of you who are not sure what to expect!!!

Is Hell Exothermic?

Actual question on a University of Washington chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.”

Most of the students’ proofs involved Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that “it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,” and taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then 2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 13th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Exodus and Mary Poppins


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby was sent some great reminders of the last year and possible for some time to come!.       

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Mary Poppins…

Mary Poppins was travelling home but, due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night.

She approached the receptionist and asked for a room. “Certainly madam”, he replied courteously. “Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no”, came the reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?”

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please”, said Mary.

“Certainly, madam”, he replied.

“And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled.

“In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please”, Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

“Morning madam…sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you”, Mary replied.

“Food to your liking?”

“Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional. I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really weren’t that nice at all”, replied Mary truthfully.

“Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion”, said the receptionist.

“OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out and then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written:

“Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – May 11th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Brussel Sprouts and Holidays


Welcome to laughter lines. Debby was sent some great reminders of the last year and possible for some time to come!.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Off on your holidays….maybe at some point….

A travel agent looked up from his desk to notice an old lady and man peering in the shop window at the posters showing exotic locations around the world. The agent had enjoyed a very lucrative week and seeing the shabby nature of the couple looking in the window he decided to extend his luck to them.

He beckoned them into his office and sat them both down. ‘I know that it must be very difficult on a pension to spare money for a lovely holiday, so I am going to send you off to the Canary Islands for two weeks at my expense.’

He handed over two airline tickets and a voucher for a luxury room at a top resort.

About a month later the little old lady came into the travel agents to see him.

‘How did you enjoy your holiday?’ he asked.

‘The flight was wonderful and the room was absolutely lovely,’ she replied. ‘I have popped in to thank you. But one thing has puzzled me. Who was that old bloke I had to share the room with?’

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – May 2021 – The #Grief Process


Hello to my wonderful Smorgasbord family.

I’d like to first say thank you to the so many of you who’ve been sending light, love and condolences with messages, emails, cards, and even some unexpected gifts. And a huge thank you to Sally for keeping my spirit alive here and beyond. Undoubtedly, I have a lifetime of stories to write about, and I’m not here today to write specifically about the 180 my life took not even two whole months ago, when my husband seemed to be getting sicker by the day and a palliative doctor came into the hospital room to talk to me about his ongoing care, before we’d even had confirmed results back from an oncologist. This was the beginning of the end.

But today’s article isn’t about all that what went down with my husband’s end of his life, but more geared toward the topic about what this series represents – Realms of Relationships, not just about relationships, but also about situations and emotions that we endure and or encounter in life in relationships, and how they affect us and how we deal with them.

So, for today, I’d like to share a bit about what I’m learning about how this grief process works, and since I’m currently living the nightmare, who better than me to share with you my experiences, straight from this proverbial horse’s mouth. And always remember, everybody’s own grief is unique, but one thing is for certain, there are definitely the same steps and stages involved in the grief process, and possibly a bit overly cliché sounding, but it is the old standard – the five stages of grief – Denial · Anger · Bargaining · Depression · Acceptance, which are, and will be components of the journey, no matter how one grieves. Yup, they’re real. There are variations for sure, which I’ll get into later. But suffice it to say, there are no shortcuts with grief.

Books on grief are typically not our first ‘go to’ genre. Let’s face it, how many people want to read about end of life? But ahh, how many who’ve lived through a heart wrenching loss wish they had someone to help them understand the inner torment grief brings to the table, wishing they knew more about what to expect?

As I grew myself up by reading self-help books about growing self-esteem, reading true stories and situations about people and how they handled their hardships, it paid off helping me to learn what I needed to better myself. In the same circumstance, wanting to reach out and look for some way of relief from the grieving process, books and gatherings with people who’ve walked in the shoes, really can help too.

Now I’m not saying reading books about grieving will help us get out of our grief, but they can do several other things such as, allow us to feel with another who has walked in the same devastating shoes of unbearable grief; it’s almost like a feeling of camaraderie, like when we shake our heads as we read something that resonates, as if to affirm every single emotion and stage we’re going through as we read. It’s a natural instinct for us to want to connect with others who are familiar with all the new emotions we will go through.

Truly, I believe that only someone who has lived the journey can write these kinds of books, and you can be sure, somewhere down the road, I’ll be writing one of my own – one day, when the stinging rawness of my unacceptance at willing to face all the music I keep locked up in a compartment in my head so that at present, I can function and get on with the grueling things that demand attending to during my hours of grief, like, arranging funerals, Covid restrictions, two religions dilemma, and fulfilling my husband’s wishes, all in the same moments while my very own hell in my heart resides within. I will write a book.

I’ve read books all my life to try to better myself and learn, so naturally, and despite the fact that I haven’t been able to read for pleasure at present, a single page of any book since my husband began deteriorating, Only after he passed I had a hunger to devour books that could make me feel I wasn’t alone. I felt compelled to read a few books about grieving. I needed to know how people got through it all. I needed to learn about all the other goodies (sarcasm) I had to look forward to.

I was immediately drawn to Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s work as a psychologist and her own experience with grief, and her work with people who’ve had near death experiences and came back to tell, which I’ve recently read – On Life After Death. Read
Debby’s Review for the book

Another I’ll be reading soon, her best-selling book next in line – On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss, will be next on my reading after I finish one of the two Nora McInerny’s books first. (I’ll mention Nora later.)

As it turned out, a lovely writer friend had sent me a wonderful selection of chocolate comfort foods, along with a paperback copy of Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart by Gary Roe.

This was the first book I could look at in months. Why? Because it felt like the writer knew exactly how I felt. Every single word was everything I was and am feeling. It was a book of validation. As I shed many tears as I read along, I began to understand that someone else, who could feel that same kind of gutting stab in the solar plexus, gets what I’m experiencing. I am not alone. But really, I am. And that’s part of the denial thing.

Denial: I still talk to my husband. I hug his pillow many times a day as my heartbreak moments are quite frequent, and temporarily kept in check by Valium – it keeps me from hugging pillows and crying every moment. And when you are the only one left to take care of yourself and all the paperwork and calls that come with a person’s passing, and the income taxes, one must be able to function to do when one doesn’t really want to. Even though she is the grieving wife, she is holding back the crash and burn to come til after the ‘acceptance’ comes, and she may have mixed up a few steps, as she’s never been one to follow order, but I’m pretty damned sure rage came early with this girl and it isn’t on the list, so I’ll replace that with bargaining.

Bargaining is much too late. My husband is gone, so there’s nothing left for me to bargain for. But the rage, the rage comes out in me like some primal being with whale-like outbursts. Add in a little mixture of blame to that list as I blame Covid for my husband’s not being seen a year ago for a complete checkup and rundown of symptoms I’d explain to the doctor because I watched my husband like a hawk. I can’t help but wonder, despite that fact there is no use looking back at hindsight, as I ask myself what else I could have done to save him. Yes, I’m blaming Covid for his demise.

Denial · Anger · Bargaining · Depression · Acceptance, are the five said stages of grief. Besides my replacing bargaining with rage, I’ve switched up depression with guilt. And I’m already feeling the guilt bubble within, lashing out at myself because I feel I didn’t do enough to save him, even though I know better that I did. I beat myself up internally because I was always so on top of everything with his health. I knew he was declining. I did tele-health calls with Dr. B, when my husband began filling with fluid and I began taking him for paracentesis every two weeks to hospital, then turned into weekly stints by January. Thanks to Covid and nobody getting to see their doctors in the live, unless they happen to be in hospital, I would like to state that so many more people are dying from other things than Covid itself. Because of Covid.

The guilt consumes me daily as I bang my head into my fists crying out ‘why couldn’t I save him?’ No, depression doesn’t reside within, just the guilt. I don’t equate depression with the sadness of grief. I am not depressed. I am broken-hearted and excruciatingly sad to the core of my being, leaving me feeling as though my heart physically hurts.
This is why I need to read books. And as I already said, each of our grief is our own, and how we deal with it may be different, but no less, we will all no doubt, feel all the bumps through the journey whether we admit to them or not.

Grief is a process – a very long process. Its palpitations, rawness in the heart, and the unrelenting reels of scenarios that continue to play out in my mind as I’m left remembering his suffering for the past few months. No, I’m far from ready to sit down and talk about the good times. Those are much too painful to even allow myself to think about right now.

Those times will hopefully come well after acceptance comes, once I’ve accepted my husband is gone and never coming back. Once I’ve accepted and lived through the grief that my husband, my love, my best friend is no more, that will be acceptance. And that is feeling such a long ways away right now. I dare not sit and reminisce over our wonderful times together, because it hurts too much to think about things that will never again be.

Once I graduate from playing the repetitive movie reels of the last weeks of our life together, where I watched over him, cared for him, felt his pain and his own sadness that he thought he’d kept hidden from me, and once I can allow myself to physically fall apart for more than just the many sporadic meltdowns I’m living through, and I can finally admit my husband is no more in this life, I will reach acceptance. And only after the time comes, will I be able to pick myself back up and put my beloved husband tucked safely in a corner of my heart, and then maybe I will be ready to accept what I am far from ready from doing presently.

Oh yes, grief is a process. It’s a long process, and for some it can be lifelong. Death of a spouse is its own special variety of grief. As someone who has grieved far too many times in my life, and differently for each passing loved one, I have to say, the death of a spouse is pretty earth shattering. And I will also say, that every grief is different, just like everyone grieves differently. A lot of the grief comes from tons of angles that feel like darts being thrown at me. The missing of every single thing we did together, because we were best friends too. Many relationships are different with couples, but despite the levels and variations of love, a couple suddenly becoming one alone is a huge transition to be had.

Everything changes in a blink of an eye and we’re just supposed to keep moving, while we’re in shock.

It really is a journey of baby steps, this is certain. You can only go one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. But you still must live and take care of things, take care of business, take care of ourselves. The world doesn’t stop just because ours has, there are many legalities that need to be dealt with, banking, credit cards, investments, insurance, etc. And when you’re living solo, it’s me, myself, and I taking care of everything while trying to keep it all together.

So, the bottom line I will say from my experience so far, as my husband hasn’t even been gone a month, and it feels more like two years’ worth of grief and time have passed for me. I have a long way to go yet, but I’m making plans. Because we have to make plans. Ideally, I would have already been on a plane to England at this point, but sadly, I await vax #2 here in the Covid capital of Canada. I feel the need to go far away and be in another headspace for a while for a bit of distance from the oh so familiar. My friend there is awaiting her 2nd vax June 2nd and promises to fly over here for a few weeks to help me pack up and move to a smaller unit in my same building. We are hoping she can fly here and then hoping we can fly out of Corona Toronto back to UK together. That’s the plan. We need to have plans. Yes, we suffer, scream, cry, hurt, but eventually we have to move on. But that doesn’t mean we won’t always love or miss or hurt for our lost loved one. I’m told by many, even at the end of the hard grieving journey, there’s always going to be a hole within, but there’s apparently, a time when we will be able manage the hole a little easier. I long for that day when my suffering might ease.

Available Amazon US –  and Amazon UK 

I asked for Twenty years. He gave me twenty-one and a lifetime of love.

I was recently introduced to Nora McInerny’s books and her Ted Talk. I can’t wait to dig into her books. I felt a kindred spirit with Nora, not only because we both carry heavy hearts, but because she decided to share her grief to help others and lays it all out in it’s raw essence, coupled with injections of humor – sort of like the way I write. No doubts I’ll write a book on this topic and it will stand along side Nora’s.
Enjoy this 15 minute, entertaining, and beautiful video where Nora shares her triple grief and how she dealt.

If anyone here has lost someone and carries a deep hole within and wishes to share some of themselves, please feel free to join the conversation.

©DGKaye2021

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

My thanks to Debby for sharing the process of grief from this very personal and honest perspective. Her heart is always in her writing and no less so in this post.

Today is George’s Birthday and this post is a lovely tribute and also I am sure he would be very proud of Debby for her strength and determination to continue to support others.

 

As always your feedback is very welcome. Thanks Sally

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Rewind – D.G. Kaye Explores The Realms of Relationships – #Friendships – Keeping them Healthy


As many of you already know that D.G. Kaye’s husband has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and is now home with her Debby’s latest update. Whilst her focus in on G’s care and well-being, Debby is still visiting blogs, share posts and connecting with her friends in the writing community when she has some time to spare. Very important to have that small window of outside interaction when you are a full-time carer.

Debby is working on her next Realm of Relationship Column  but rather than have the pressure of a deadline, we thought we might share the first posts of the series which began in January 2020 every Monday to bring new readers to the blog up to speed

D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – Friendships Keeping them Healthy

Friendships are the most sacred things we can have. Nobody knows us better than our closest friends – sometimes even better than family. And why is that? Because often, most people aren’t comfortable sharing their problems with families for various reasons.

Children may not wish to tell their parents some things because they may fear they’ll get in trouble for something they did or perhaps they’re embarrassed, or maybe even their secret is about a friend they don’t wish to get in trouble. In adulthood reasons may differ, such as: not wanting family to know they’ve failed at something, got in trouble somewhere, etc. But friends, friends are the ones we choose to share with what’s deep in our souls. Friends are the ones we chose to be friends with us because they accept us – broken fences and all, scars and all. They love us unconditionally. Friends support us through our ups and downs in life. We feel much freer to unburden our souls with friends sometimes more than with family.

Friends don’t judge us. Friends hug us when we need it, and friends understand us – sometimes even without words.

Friends are the family we choose. Friends are the ones we share our deepest, darkest thoughts with, our dreams and ambitions, problems and victories. If a friendship is true, there’s an unspoken respect – a code so to speak.

My Story

Even though I have gone through a ‘break-up’ of sorts with one of my two long-time best friends of 35 years, I still think about her. How could one not? Severing a long-time friendship is like a divorce. You miss the kinship and the support and the good times, and the loss of a good friend can break your heart. But, as I wrote in my first edition of this series, if we’ve exhausted all avenues of trying to mend a fence, maybe it’s time to part ways. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t honor the past, honor what we once had and shared, honor deep dark secrets not to be turned into ammunition to smear that person.

Of course, I’m not going to openly discuss what happened between us, but what didn’t happen between us was because of an unspoken respect for the past – for what we once had and shared. A code. In the 3 years we haven’t spoken, never a bad word has passed between us or from our lips. And I know this because like I wrote in my first edition, life is a circle, it’s a small world, once dirt starts flying on social media it can spread like a disease There have been no gossipy stories reported back from mutual friends, no secrets revealed from our pasts together. Because we both honor the friendship code – the respect for the friendship that was.

This honoring of friendships is a simple respect and correlates with – don’t burn your bridges, the old adage – some things are meant to be left sacred. What we don’t blab off about will never come back to haunt us. And another added benefit of practicing that advice is we also never know when a time could come that we mend fences with that old friend. No hateful words of anger to worry about coming back to bite us.

Sometimes when enough time has passed and old wounds heal, anything is possible. Hey, it happened to us once before – the same thing – a total misunderstanding of feelings at a very bad time, misconstrued. Yes, both times it involved my feelings and my sense of a lack of empathy on my friend’s part when I needed her most. That’s not something that can easily be repaired. I tried to convey my hurt, but she continued to deny she did anything wrong. I was overwhelmed with hurt, especially that I was her constant dumping ground for all the crap going on in her life. Eventually, we both silently walked out of each other’s lives. I do believe in time we’ll be destined to meet again and, if and when that happens and time has taught her why I walked away, once again, I will open my arms.

A recipe to keep friendship alive and well:

Stay honest and be there for emotional support when the tides are rough for each other. Reciprocate – friendship is give-and-take, celebrating the good times and supporting for the bad. Respect each other and the past you once shared. Communicate your feelings – especially if something is bothering you, keep the air clear. And laugh – shared laughter is a definite bond strengthener. These are some of the important components to a lasting friendship.

Of course, even friends have spats just as husbands and wives sometimes do on occasion even in the best of relationships. We’re all entitled to our feelings and opinions, and sometimes these opinions differ between friends. When difference of opinion or misunderstandings occur, we should be able to feel free with our friends to express our feelings on these issues, and we should also learn to discuss differences and maybe even sometimes just agree to disagree and let go and move on.

But if the issue has to do with an immediate concern in the friendship and something hurtful has been done without any apology or recognition, and you’ve voiced your concern with no resolution, you may have to re-evaluate that relationship as I had to. And it’s up to each individual who faces this dilemma to decide how much they will tolerate.

Good friends should be able to feel the freedom of being able to discuss and receive feedback from friends when it comes to being permitted to discuss concerns among each other. If there is a barrier in communicating with friends then it may also be time to revisit how you feel about that friendship, and quite possibly you may find you have ‘outgrown’ that relationship. Don’t allow the years you’ve committed to that friendship to be the deciding factor to remain. That would be like saying if you’re unhappy and abused in your marriage, but you’ve been married for so many years you just accept what it is. Don’t just accept. Clear the air, voice your feelings and concerns, and if nothing is computing on the other side, it may just be time to sever ties.

In my next issue here at the Smorgasbord, I’m going to be talking about signals, and diving deeper into severing ties, what to look out for and when it’s time to leave. I hope you enjoyed this edition of Realms of Relationships and will tune back in here next month!

©D.G.Kaye

Thanks to Debby for her strategies to help us keep friendships and other relationships healthy.

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Books by D.G. Kaye

A recent review for Conflicted Hearts on Goodreads

Jan 25, 2021 D.L. Finn rated it Five Stars it was amazing

“Conflicted Hearts” is a wonderful insight of a girl growing up with an unavailable mother and father lost in that world. I could easily relate to the role of caretaker being thrust on a young girl and the guilt she carried. The blame her paternal grandparents had toward her because her father had to marry her mother was heavy, as was her parents’ on and off living arrangements and mother’s self-absorption toward her children. The guilt followed Ms. Kaye into adulthood, as she always tried to do the right thing. I appreciated how mistakes made had given her the lessons needed. One situation that made me cringe was during a trip to Greece and a broken foot. But people came into her life just when they were needed. I found that very heartening. It was hard to read about the abusive relationship she ended up in, and I was relieved when they parted ways. I loved watching the author make her way to her happily ever after. I found this an inspiring journey of how Ms. Kaye navigated her home life and then left it behind to find herself and love. I highly recommend this memoir. 

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – : Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – Twitter: @pokercubsterLinkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

 

Thank you for joining us today and Debby would love to hear from you and she will respond to your comments when she is able. thanks Sally.

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 8th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Protests and Clean Plates


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now a joke from Sally –

How well does cold water clean?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.

He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather….are these
plates clean?

His grandfather replied…. those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks…so he asked again……are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says…..I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don’t ask me about it anymore!

Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, Grandfather’s dog started to growl and would not let him pass…. Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, Grandfather shouted, COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

Thanks very much for dropping in today and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Sally and Debby

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 13th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin


Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally

Forward Planning.

Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?”
“Oh yes,” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; ,my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
Her friend asked, “What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?” “One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go.”

Buyer Beware.

Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse.

“Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream ‘heyhey’ the way to get him to go is to scream ‘Thank God’.

Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?” Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going.

No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed.

The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff. Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”

We hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…well perhaps not poor Jack ….oops…thanks Debby and Sally

Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Share an Extract from your Latest Book- #Memoir – Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye


Welcome to the series where authors in the Cafe and Bookstore an extract from their most recent book. If you are in the Cafe, and would like to participate you can find all the details here: Share an Extract

Today’s author, D.G. Kaye (Debby Gies) will be very familiar to regular visitors to the blog as the long-term contributor to the blog with The Travel Column, D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020 and the twice weekly Laughter Lines.

The exract is from Debby’s most recent memoir Twenty Years After “I Do” : Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging

About the book

May/December memoirs.

In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.

Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.

An extract from the memoir.

In this chapter, I’m talking about the familiarity of moments in silence, when we grow to understand a loved one so well, often words aren’t necessary.

Knowing

In his quietest moments, I can hear him thinking. He’s always thinking.

There’s no silence in Gordon’s head. Even while watching TV, his mind is busy spinning. His thoughts may be focused on anything from the customer who’s coming in tomorrow to an item he’s remembered to remind me to pick up at the grocery store—or, often, he’s thinking about me, some old memory he’ll feel compelled to remind me about.

Often when speaking to him, I’ll notice his concentration focused on something other than me. He’ll claim he’s listening to what I’m saying, but his attention is on something else within. I call it attention-span lapsing, not quite ADD but more like brewing an idea while in the midst of a separate conversation. These little moments used to drive me crazy in the early stages of our relationship because I felt as though he wasn’t paying attention to our conversation, but he was. He always did. I hadn’t yet learned how his mind worked.

I’ve had plenty of years to study my husband and can read his thoughts just by a certain look on his face, a silence between us, or sometimes from the first word of a sentence when he speaks. Even the manner in which he’ll call out my name prompts me to know what he’ll ask me. When he calls me Cubby with a higher pitch and an emphasis on the y sound, I know he’s in a jovial mood and eager to share good news or something funny. When he calls me Cub, I know he’s going to ask me a question or has something pressing on his mind he wants to share. Deb is reserved for his pissed-off moments.

We’ve always been so in tune with each other, spoken words or not. Many times, I’ll walk into his man cave, and he’ll be watching TV, not even noticing I’m there as he focuses with eyes glued on whatever he’s watching. I’ll announce myself after standing to his left with one of my usual smart-ass comments, “Earth calling,” and he’ll turn after I startle him, chuckling because he knows the thought police is on to him.

Based on whatever may be currently going on in our lives, I have a reasonable idea about what he may be dwelling on in his moments of silence. I’ll remind him he’s home now and it’s time to turn off his brain and relax. He’ll smile with that familiar twinkle in his blue eyes and once again ask how I always seem to know what he’s thinking. I don’t know how I know. I just do. After spending so much time together, we grow an inherent understanding of the silent language interpreted by eye contact, a lack of it, body language, silence, temperament, or sometimes even by the bang or the silent closing of a door.

The thought police in me is always on duty, ready to dissect Gordon’s brain. It’s become second nature. In this past year since Gordon’s health suffered, I have noticed how much more he likes to remind me about some of our best times we’ve shared. Sometimes I know he’s trying to get a rise out of me with laughter. Other times I can’t help but feel he’s thinking about his mortality. I don’t dwell on it, nor do I let him know I know what he’s thinking about.

Nobody ever wants to think about the end of existence. But trust me, as we age, we all have many of those days when we feel the hands of time ticking by. Gordon’s brushes with death have somehow opened the curtains of a window he never previously cared to look out of, a window he never talked about—one we’ve never talked about. But I know that window revealed to him how close the end almost came for him in the past year, causing him many pauses for thought. He doesn’t say so, but I know.

Once in a while, when Gordon breaks a silent moment between us and says in mere passing, “We’ve been together twenty years,” I know where his brain goes. I never ask him to elaborate on where those thoughts come from, but I know when he’s in a reflective mood, when he feels the urge to relive tender moments, when he’s fearing his mortality. In those exact moments, I know.

One of the reviews for the book

L. Carmichael 5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Study in Married Life  Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2020

Twenty Years: After “I Do” is an autobiographical non-fiction book about the author’s experience with marriage and relationships. I’ve previously read another of her autobiographies about her relationship with her mother, and it was such an emotionally charged and well-written book, I decided to keep reading more from her every few months until I caught up on all her works.

In this one, Debby tells us what happened almost twenty years ago when she debated whether to marry the man who is now her husband. Given he was twenty years older, she had a lot of decisions to consider when it came to how her life would change. At the core of this book, and her approach to life, is her commitment and honesty in all that she achieves. Debby knew… if she married him, she would have to accept all that came with it in the future. From there, she dives into key aspects of married life: emotions, sex life, personal time, separation of couple and individual, fighting, decision-making, and death. Lessons we all need to consider.

Debby’s writing style is simply fantastic. It’s easy to devour in a short sitting, but it always makes you feel like part of her life. She openly shares so much (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while holding back in all the appropriate areas to allow for proper balance, e.g. we learn about the impacts to her sex life when one partner is ill but she doesn’t go into the details. She tells us how she and her husband tackled the issues from a day-to-day perspective and moved on… because they loved one another (to the moon and back).

There is a refreshing honesty and truth in her words, and readers will quickly find themselves a path to compare their own lives to that of the author’s. What have I done well? What could I do better? What needs to change? Excellent questions to consider, but Debby doesn’t directly tell us to do this–her actions show us why this is at the core of a good marriage. I’m thrilled I had the chance to read this one today. Although I’ve only been with my partner for 8 years, it’s easy to track where things are and what we could do differently.

Debby bravely tells us her story, allowing us to interpret for ourselves what everything means, especially in this ever-changing world where people live longer and have access to more things but it’s harder to get them. I highly recommend this book to nearly anyone in a relationship, or those who want to know how to handle one when they are. Debby shares a few secrets, some hints, and a few suggestions to consider. It’s not just for newbies or long-term couples… there’s a bit of everything for how to co-exist and still be who you are. Great work!

Read the reviews and buy the memoir: Amazon US

And: Amazon UK

Books by D.G. Kaye

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US

and: Amazon UK

More reviews and follow Debby: Goodreads

About Debby Gies

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

                 “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Connect to Debby Gies

Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye –
Twitter: @pokercubsterLinkedin: D.G. Kaye
Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye

Thanks for dropping in and if you are an author in the Cafe and Bookstore and would like to promote your most recent books then please check out the post: Share an Extract