Welcome to the round up of posts you might have missed on Smorgasbord this week.
I hope those of you who were suffering from the heat wave and added risks of wildfires are now finding things much cooler. We are back to our seasonal temperatures and have had some welcome rain the last couple of days which is good news for the farmers. They have worked overtime in the last two weeks to get their fields mown and baled but they need a new growth now for stock for the rest of the summer.
The outside of the house is looking great with its new coat of grey and white paint with just the back of the house needing another coat.
I am spending August on some work related projects for the autumn.. a new short story collection, poetry collection and for early next year an updated and Ebook version of my family health manual Just Food For Health, which at 360 pages in the print version is going to take a bit of time. I have stocked the blog and whilst not around quite as much on social media business will carry on as usual.
Thanks to my friends William Price King and Debby Gies for their music and humour contributions this week and you can find out more about them on their own sites. .
William Price Kingjoined me on The Breakfast show this week for the second part of the hits from 1999 and for the next part of the new series aboutthe legend Nina Simone. William begins his usual summer break until September with his family but he has left me well stocked with his selections for the Breakfast Show and also his posts on the music legends..You can also find William – Blog– IMPROVISATION– William Price King on Tumblr
Debby Gies took us to Cuba on Monday for an exploration of this island of music, dancing and history.. Over on her blog you can you can catch up with her posts including her Sunday review for My Darling Son by Martha Perez, her own very powerful poemin response to Colleen Chesebro’s challenge this week, her July writer’s tips and a look at authors from the past who seemed to have had a precognition of how the future would unfold. D.G. Kaye
Carol Taylor was here on Wednesday with an exploration of foods and culinary terms in her terrific series A-Z of foods with the letter C. This week on her own blog an exploration of the word ‘miracle’ in life and in nature with some great music, a look at store cupboard basics.. in the freezer and her Monday Musings. I am also grateful for the reblogs of her own post and two others from here during the week – You can read all the posts for the week by clicking on her blog link Carol Cooks2
Thanks too for all your visits, comments and shares this week… they mean a great deal..♥
I cannot remember a time when music and movies where not a part of my life.
1989 – Houston Reunion, San Francisco, Earthquake, Guns N’ Roses, When Harry Met Sally
Most of 1989 passed in a blur with both of us working long hours and apart from the odd weekend away we stayed in London. We did however want to do something to celebrate our wedding anniversary and booked a couple of weeks off in early October. Despite our adventures flying to New Zealand and back the previous year; we decided to go to America to see our friends in Texas and then have a week in San Francisco and tour north of the city including the Napa Valley.
We flew into Houston arriving after the eleven hour flight and stood in line with 400 other arrivals waiting to pass through customs. An announcement came over the tannoy.
‘David and Sally Cronin welcome to Houston, your friends are waiting outside for you.’
This is what happens when you have a friend working for one of the airlines!!! Sure enough we passed through the doors to be greeted by a whole crowd with two stick horses bearing the names of Midnight and Satan. That is a story for another day!
It was October 12th and we spent two days in Houston catching up with everyone and of course we had one very special place to visit. Pappasito’s Mexican restaurant which was our old hangout and because there was around 24 of us, the restaurant cordoned off the back part of the cantina and a riotous evening ensued. As you can see from the photograph we were quite the rowdy crowd… Here I am with our friends Walter and his soon to be wife Karen. Quite the night.
On the 14th we flew out of Houston headed for another of our most popular destinations; San Francisco. Coincidentally, although our friends laid the blame at our door, hurricane Jerry had been gathering momentum the day we arrived in Houston and the day after we left it hit land at Galveston and swept up through Texas. There is a reason for mentioning this.
We picked up a car and travelled south and stayed for a night in Carmel which is a beautiful town on the coast. On the 15th we headed back through San Francisco along the Nimitz highway and north to the Napa Valley where we stayed the night in Calistoga in a cabin a couple of miles outside town. I mention this stop because we went to the most amazing restaurant and had the best steak I have ever eaten and the most amazing bottle of wine.
The next day we headed for what I consider to be one of the best wineries for sparkling wine, despite being a huge Cava fan. Korbel is an incredible place to visit and you can find out more about it here. Korbel Winery. (You will have to give them your birthdate to access the site). After our tour we bought a couple of bottles of their wine and they gave us a free half bottle of brand to go with them. Fully stocked we headed towards Sacramento the state capital for a night before heading back to San Francisco and our flight home.
On the road David, who I had not realised in the previous years was somewhat psychic; announced that the area was due for an earthquake! We checked into a lovely motel just outside of the city and leaving me to unpack, David headed off to find a bookstore to get a book on geology. I relaxed on the balcony with a chilled sparkling wine cocktail made from the Korbel brandy and wine.
At first I thought it was the effect of the first couple of sips that caused my hand to start shaking like mad until people started pouring out into the pool area shouting and screaming. “It’s an earthquake”. It was over in a matter of minutes, but I must admit to giving David a rather accusatory look as he came through the door almost immediately afterwards carrying his book on geology. Money well spent!
We were around 100 miles from the epicentre and did manage to watch the news reports that described the devastation and loss of life in San Francisco. It did not slip our minds that only two days before we had been in a traffic jam on the Nimitz Highway at the same time of day and in the exact spot that had collapsed.
We were due to fly out on the 19th of October back to the UK and as it was an early flight had to stay overnight in San Francisco. We stayed in a motel close to the airport and believe it or not it was business as usual and there is no doubt about the stoicism of the locals. There were plenty of T-shirts bearing the slogan ‘We survived the San Francisco Earthquake’. Entrepreneurs are created in a heartbeat!
We arrived home to messages from our friends in Houston requesting that we not return for some time as we seemed to have left devastation in our wake… As you can imagine after our trip the year before I too was not particular interested in getting on a plane again and this time I meant it….. Famous last words!
Because of our work schedule I am afraid most of the music of 1989 passed me by. There are a few that stand out as memorable. Marc Almond with Gene Pitneyand Something’s Got a Hold Of My Heart,Simply Red –If You Don’t Know Me By Now, Donna Summer – This Time I Know It’s For Real,Roy Orbison – You’ve Got It,Big Fun– Blame It On The Boogie,Cher– If I Could Turn Back Time, and here is Guns N’ Roseswith Sweet Child Of Mine.
We did always make time for films at the weekend and that year we went to see Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Dead Poets Society, Glory, The Abyss, Black Rain, Lethal Weapon 2, When Harry Met Sally, Driving Miss Daisy, Born on the Fourth of July, Star Trek V – The Final Frontier, The Fabulous Baker Boys and Steel Magnolias.
Here is a very young Harry Connick Jnr with It Had To Be You from When Harry met Sally.
Welcome back to my Realms of Relationships Column at the Smorgasbord. In last month’s edition I talked about Online Communications regarding scam emails and how to beware of them. In this issue, I’m going to talk more about Online Romantic Relationships and what to look for when vetting potential mates.
Back in the day, meeting potential love interests entailed going out and meeting people and mingling. Now this could happen anywhere, but in my heydays, going dancing at clubs two-three times a week afforded me the chance to meet many potential dates, despite my policy ‘never to go out with anyone I met in a bar or club’, and I stuck to that. But I sure had my share of romantic relationships – often with the wrong types as I lived and learned, and many of those relationships began with people I met at the workplace.
In those ancient times, like modern times, we dated and rated our suitors through the time we spent in those relationships. Sure, socially active people out in public still do meet their significant others, but with the advent of technology, many more are going to dating sites in search of someone to fill their emptiness, looking for love. And meeting a potential suitor on the internet comes with its own set of rules – because we are getting to know someone online – sight unseen, going on the information we receive from them. But what if they’re lying about who they are? How do we vet these unknown strangers we may become attracted to, to help verify if they are who they say they are?
Let’s dig in!
We’ve come a long way from the days of getting all dressed and looking our best to go out on the town, hoping to make a connection when looking for love. Sure, it still happens, but not as much as internet dating sites and social media apps are common ground now for those searching for a mate.
As a person who studies people for a hobby, I’ve learned to adjust my sails when trying to figure out the validity of online people. I can say with authority, that there are a lot of lurkers on social media who try to hit on women. I have no doubts, that there are just as many women who prey on men too. I’m speaking as a woman who gets stalked occasionally – especially on Facebook, as do quite a few of my colleagues.
I’m going to attribute my vetting experience to being an avid watcher of police procedurals for many years – part of my fascination with studying people, curious to learn what spurs their criminal tendencies.
First up: What to beware of:
Fast Eddies – This is my name for suitors that haven’t spent enough chat time getting to know each other and who go gung-ho for setting up a live meet. Just no! There’s a lot more vetting to do before you should get to that part.
No photo – Anyone who won’t post a photo, in my books, doesn’t have good intentions, or has something to hide. And if they do post a photo, make sure you use an app like Tineye. This app allows you to plug in any photo, whether downloaded or using copy and paste, and checks the origins of the image.
Keep a list – Write down facts of discovery through conversations with a potential suitor. When you write things down as you learn them, you have something to go back on when putting together the profile for that person. Make a list of their hobbies, their perspective on issues that are important to you as you discuss. Ask pertinent questions and be subtle when doing so. – For example, asking someone what their religion is might be too forward, but rewording your questions before blurting them out will get you a lot further. Instead, you might ask if the person enjoys celebrating religious holidays with family. This type of question will get you a much better answer than just a yes or no, and leave an open door to elaborate on. Let’s say the suitor responds with, “We only go to church at Christmas or Easter.” That statement allows for you to respond and ask many more questions such as: Who is we? So you’re Catholic? So you aren’t very religious? Be crafty with your questions. And write down responses.
If a potential suitor is gabbing online with you midday and told you he works five days a week, subtly slide in the question – ‘Aren’t you working today?’ It’s totally possible he was thinking about you and wanted to say hello during a break, but asking the question will give you a clearer indication, based on time chatting and what comes out of the conversation helping to determine better, the sincerity of his words.
Beware of being sucked in! It’s astounding to me the amount of people who get swooped into financial scams by fake suitors. If you learn nothing from my post here, learn this – NEVER send money to anyone courting you online. NEVER. There are plenty of scammers and desperate people among those with good intentions, and it’s our job to filter them out to remain safe.
NEVERgo it alone when meeting a potential suitor for the first time in person.
Set up a first-time meet in a public place. Make sure to tell a friend or relative where you are going so somebody in your circle knows where you are.
Take your own means of transportation. Do not accept an offer from the suitor to pick you up. There are two potential dangers – getting trapped in their vehicle, and allowing them to know where you live.
If you feel enough time and information has passed between you both and perhaps you’re both ready to meet, again, make sure you set up a meet in a public place, you take your own transportation, and you’ve informed a friend of your whereabouts.
If by chance you’re ready to visit the suitor who lives in another city or country, book yourself a hotel/motel room before you go. It’s important to have a place of shelter if things go wrong. You could book it for a week or two and once you feel comfortable in person, can always cancel the rest of the booking.
What can you do to protect yourself as an online member of a dating site:
Create a new and separate email address and user-name to use for any dating site profiles, that way if things go sour with someone, and you wish to eliminate your original profile and any breadcrumbs of data that attached to your user name profile, you can rejoin with a new email address and user name with no ties to your real everyday email address or any other previously used. This way, if you had a bad experience with another member, they won’t be able to hound you.
Photos – always download a photo from your own direct source – meaning, not a photo taken from your social media that can be tracked back to original source (again, you aren’t the only one aware of apps like ‘tineye’ and others can use it to add your photo and learn more about you on social media before you’re ready for that). And be real. Use a real and ‘somewhat’ current image of yourself – not one of someone else, no other images in place of, or a photo that is decades old. If you are serious about wanting to meet someone, then you’ll eventually want to meet that person live, and ultimately, the gig will be up if you fib.
Checklist of Reminders
• Keep a list of facts, making sure they add up! –
• Financial requests? – Run fast!
• Use your instincts, don’t be gullible.
Make your rules clear. Be upfront about your rules, never agree to meet anyone in person until enough time has passed in the online chat or phone chats, before graduating to any next steps, until a trust can be felt. No throwing caution to the wind.
Learn How to Vet Online suitors
On social media, there’s a plethora of available information on each and every one of us who use the internet. You can do your own people searching by checking their various social media accounts for bios, and reading chat on those forums to get a feel for how they interact, and who they interact with, Googling them, and by checking out any available websites they are on. Remember to use the available tools on each social app to block or report anyone hassling you on any social sites. Also remember to use the settings on these apps to make your own posts available to friends only if you don’t want any lurkers.
This online dating coach, Amie knows the internet dating protocol well:
Last of all, I do want to add that after we’ve done our due diligence in vetting the potentials we chat with online, remember that just because we aren’t talking in person, our personality and character will shine through between the lines and through our words. Have you ever read a comment on social media and can just feel the smile come through? It can! So pay attention to your words and how you evoke them when trying to make a good impression. Below, find a few paragraphs from the chapter, Online Dating, from my book,Words We Carry:
“By talking, we express who we are and what we care about, what interests us. This is all part of personality and character. Maybe our passion is for our children, our hobbies, or a cause we believe in. All these things show heart and compassion. By keeping true to our authentic selves and sharing our enthusiasm with others, although our passions may not appeal to everyone, we will eventually connect with someone who appreciates our attributes.
By sharing our thoughts, we emit character. Not all of this will happen overnight, but if we take this advice in stride and adapt it to our lives, we will attract like-minded people. This applies to dating profiles, blogs, and casual conversations.
Did you know you can actually feel someone smiling through his or her words? It’s true. Smiles aren’t only visual. You can sense them when you’re reading a book or article, the same way you can sense them in a chat box or a personal bio. When somebody reads your bio, he or she receives an evaluation of who you are.
Words are powerful, so use them wisely and to their best potential. Everything you say and write on the internet follows you.”
Now, let’s discuss. Have any of you met your significant other online? Do you use dating apps? Would you like to share a story of an experience you had?
My thanks to Debby for this detailed guide to online dating… in pays to be vigilant
Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.
When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.
Quotes: “Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”
When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.
What starts with the author’s explanation of why she wrote the book: namely to share negative experiences and obstacles in which self-esteem issues and insecurities when faced and dealt with blossom to learning self-love; this is a remarkable revolutionary read. One I wish I would have read in my earlier teen years when I struggled with my own self-esteem issues. Self-perception baggage from wounded egos, what weighs us down, fester and damage the soul the author writes. So true.
This is so well written that it’s not just an enlightening educational tool but a wonderful read from a woman not afraid to show her underbelly, huge heart, and she does it with much authenticity and talent. I resonated with so much of what she wrote in these enlightening pages, but what stands out the most is how I slid down the rabbit’s hole due to my desire to want to belong, to socially fit. I suppose all of us who relate to this unfolding have a personal story of our own. Mine was rooted in a family dynamic that made it difficult for me to have friends to my home and consequently I missed out on social bonding that helps develop a strong sense of self. It wasn’t until later in life, in high school and university, that I encountered warm satisfying friendships. By then the damage was done.
I just wish I had this book in my earlier years to have helped my younger, more formative self. Thankfully, it’s never too late to unwind wounds and deepen self-love, which is another thing I found from this beautifully powerful read. In summation, let me say I am grateful I had this recommended to me by a friend, someone whose words I respect. This gem of a book did not disappoint. Highly recommend.
Summer: Chapter Twelve – The Storyteller to the Rescue
As the morning light filtered through the branches above her head, Dorothy watched her three cubs as they wrestled and tumbled around her. Eddie was still not home but she knew that he would fight to the end to return to her and their family. Human tears fell from her blue eyes as she contemplated a future for them without his love and support.
Meanwhile, across the forest and only a few feet from the fence that separated the woods from the magic garden, Eddie lay panting in the damp grass. He had been returning from the village, where he had managed to scavenge half a cooked chicken, and some slightly rancid ham from waste bins behind the Inn, when he had suddenly felt a stabbing pain in one of his back legs. As he collapsed into a heap, dropping his precious food, he felt a sense of doom about the future of his small family.
He was losing strength as he had struggled to release his foot from the snare cutting into his flesh. It was hopeless, as the more he fought against the wire, the tighter it became.
Suddenly he heard whistling nearby and snarled, ready to bite the hand of the hunter who had laid this cruel trap. He looked up and saw a pair of leggings above sturdy boots, and a gnarled hand reaching down towards him. He snarled in warning as the flesh neared his nose, but then heard a voice that he knew.
‘There, there lad, don’t fret now, let’s get you out of that wicked thing my boy.’ Eddie lay back down, worn out from the night’s struggles, and also shocked by hearing the Storyteller’s voice after four long years. He had no way to communicate who he was to Dorothy’s father, but he tried to think of a way to get through to him.
Gently the old man held the fox’s leg in his hand whilst he worked the wire until it loosened. He could see that there was damage to the foot that needed to be treated with some of his magic potions, and having released the animal, he picked him up in his arms and carried him to the cottage.
Within minutes of the wound being washed and coated with the wild herb dressing, Eddie was out of pain and eager to be on his way back to Dorothy and the babies. He knew she would be frantic by now and would not be able to leave the den as the pups were far too young. She would be very hungry, and only have enough milk for another day or so. He wanted to express his gratitude to her father in the only way that he could, by gently licking his hand. The Storyteller reciprocated by stroking the dark red fur of his patient’s head and for a brief moment Eddie felt a sense of peace.
The old man picked him up and walked out of the cottage and down the path to the wooden gate. He deposited Eddie next to the chicken and the ham, which miraculously had not been filched in his absence. He stood back and waited to make sure that the fox would be able to move easily, but was taken by surprise as the animal sat down and looked right up at him with strangely human eyes. The Storyteller was a man of magic, and not one to have flights of fancy, and when the fox stood and ran around him several times before picking up the food and moving along the path, he decided to follow him.
Through the forest they moved, sometimes on the path, and at times through the undergrowth. From time to time, Eddie would stop and look over his shoulder to make sure that the old man was keeping up with him. Eventually they emerged into the clearing in front of the den and he pushed aside the bushes concealing the entrance. He was relieved to see his beloved Dorothy gently nuzzling the babies as they drank their milk. She looked up and saw him, and she gave a delighted yip to welcome him home. He dropped the food in front of her but she was too relieved to see him to eat right then. He stood by her side and nuzzled her neck fur, gently licking her ears in devotion.
Eddie rose and indicated that he wanted her to follow him into the sunlight and bring the babies with her. The family emerged, and immediately the cubs, full of milk and ready to play, chased each other in and out of their parent’s legs and biting their feathered tails.
On the edge of the clearing the Storyteller paused and took in the delightful scene in front of him. He didn’t want to startle the vixen and her cubs, but Eddie trotted towards him before turning back again in invitation. The man moved slowly, bending down close to the ground to show that he meant no harm and found himself looking directly into a pair of eyes that he had never forgotten. He fell backwards onto his bottom, staring in shock at the two foxes in front of him. He and Eddie’s family had mourned the loss of their children four years before, thinking that some dreadful accident had befallen them or that they had been killed by some passing vagabonds. No trace of them had ever been found and eventually they had to accept that they were gone forever.
Dorothy had been so intent on her three pups that it took a moment before she looked more closely at the man sat in front of her. Tears formed in her blue eyes, revealing the human hidden beneath the russet fur. She left the cubs with Eddie, approaching hesitantly and stood by her father’s knee. He stretched out his arms and she leapt into them so that she could plaster his face and lick away his own tears.
‘Who did this to you child?’ He gently smoothed the rich red fur of the top of her head.
‘Who could be so wicked as to take you both from us?’ he paused as a thought struck him.
‘The only one who would seek pleasure from this would be the Goblin and I suspect Magnus who left around the same time you disappeared.’ Dorothy, still under the curse of silence, nodded her head slowly and the Storyteller put her back on the ground, stood up and dusted himself off.
‘If I carry the cubs, will you and Eddie come with me to the Goblin’s cave and I will make him reverse his curse that he placed on you?’ He walked over to where the now fed and sleepy cubs were lying next to their father, gently picking them up one my one; tucking the squirming fur bundles carefully into the front of his jumper. Keeping one hand beneath them to keep them safe, he and the two foxes headed off to the other end of the forest and the dank place which stank of rancid goblin.
You have already heard and witnessed the persuasiveness of the Storytellers abilities, and the following day a message was sent to Eddie’s parents to come to the cottage in the magic garden for Sunday lunch. You can imagine their shock on arriving to find their son, now a mature grown man, with his arms around the shoulders of the beautiful Dorothy, alongside three gloriously red-headed triplets, tucking into a chicken purée dinner.
As to the Goblin, he has never been seen again. Those that wander into that part of the forest are amused by the statue of stone that looks like an old ugly monkey squealing in terror. The place is no longer dark and dank, but is sunlit and is always covered in a carpet of foxgloves.
Step into the enchanting fantasy world of Sally Cronin’s Irish garden where beneath the roots of her Magnolia tree resides a magical kingdom filled with fairies, witches, goblins, and leprechauns protected by the wisdom of the magical Storyteller.
This book is part of a continuing saga called “Tales from the Garden,” which originated in the author’s Spanish garden. However, I feel that this book stood alone quite well on its own, as there was a chapter dedicated to catching the reader up with past fairy events.
The story is told in sections denoting each of the four seasons. Each segment of the story shares the lives of magical creatures who with help from the Storyteller and the inhabitants of the fairy kingdom manage to overcome insurmountable odds.
In its way, this book is a triumphant celebration to acceptance and getting along with others who are different from you. It also reinforces the creed that you should love your neighbor as thyself. These are fabulous themes to teach children and as gentle reminders for the rest of us who are enjoying our second childhood.
I spent a blissful three nights reading about Queen Filigree and her magical kingdom beneath the Magnolia tree. The ending was sweet and fulfilling, filled with new dreams and possibilities.
In addition, the reader will find exquisite drawings by the artist, Donata Zawadzka, to make this lovely book complete.
As a Fairy Whisperer myself, I can only say this book gratified my continuing belief in the fairies and all things magical.
MY RATING: Character Believability: 5 Flow and Pace: 5 Reader Engagement: 5 Reader Enrichment: 5 Reader Enjoyment: 5 Overall Rate: 5 out of 5 Stars
This blog feature amusing and heartwarming stories about our late Leonberger dog Bronco, as well as other Leonbergers. It also has a lot of information about the Leonberger breed, the history, care, training, Leonberger organizations, etc. I also wrote a Leonberger book, which I am featuring in the sidebar.
Back in the day, meeting potential love interests entailed going out and meeting people and mingling. Now this could happen anywhere, but in my heydays, going dancing at clubs two-three times a week afforded me the chance to meet many potential dates, despite my policy ‘never to go out with anyone I met in a bar or club’, and I stuck to that. But I sure had my share of romantic relationships – often with the wrong types as I lived and learned, and many of those relationships began with people I met at the workplace.
Smorgasbord Blog Magazine 